need help with all this...

[Guest guest]

I am not sure if what I am feeling is normal of just crazy...

I have began all the testing for infertility due to my lack of hormones and lack

of ovulation. Besides the fact that I feel completely humiliated by the whole

process I find myself being uncontrollably angry, and I can't stop crying. I am

fighting with my husband for mot being supportive(he is not sure what to make of

all this) and I am completely jealous of my best friend who just gave birth

yesterday to a healthy baby girl. I need help!

[Guest guest]

yahoo is really freaky! I'm glad to see that they posted 's

message an hour after I approved it!

--------------------------------

,

Again, I feel it is perfectly normal. You may want to talk with

your OB/MD to see if they feel you need an antidepressant or

something. I was so upset and angry month after month because I would

have patients who got pregnant accidentally and didn't want the baby,

when that is all I longed for.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers,

Sheila

[Guest guest]

First of all I can definetly empathize. The reason I say empathize is because

all though I have never had fertility issues, I did lose my first born was

stillborn at 36 weeks of pregnancy following a car accident. When my daughter

died I was so jealous of anyone else pregnant or having a baby. It wasn't that I

wasn't happy for those people, I was just mourning my loss, mourning what " could

have been " for me. I would assume that with your fertility issues it is the

same. I would think that what you are feeling is completely normal. You are only

human, how are you supposed to feel. Be easy on yourself.

Open RNY 2-18-02

359/138

1-16-03

andra Marie (born stillborn at 36 weeks gestation on 3-14-98, following a

car accident)

[Guest guest]

,

I agree with Sheila, talking to the Dr. about an anti-depressant may really

help you get thru these stressful times.

You will be in my prayers as well.

*hugs*,

[Guest guest]

" Dubin " I agree with Sheila, talking to the

Dr. about an anti-depressant may really help you get thru these

stressful times.

------------------------------------------------------------

lol

Just in December when I saw my fertility specialist, he asked what my

time line was in getting pregnant again (I'm 37) and I told him 3

months BEFORE then (which is when my 2 IUI attempts failed for my 2nd

post WLS pregnancy). I started crying and when he asked what was

wrong I told him I didn't know. He told me that obviously TTC was

taking a toll on me and he wanted me to take a few months off TTC,

get in better nutrition and health, and he gave me an prescription

for Wellbutrin. lol

It helps! We still are at a crossroad about what to do next.

Sheila

[Guest guest]

You are going thur such normal feeling. I went for infertilty testing, rounds

of Clomid and Inseminations for years without success and I cried ALL THE

TIME. I was extremely JEalous of friends and family with new babies and I hated

myself for not being able to make my body work the way I wanted it to. It is

very stressful and you are feeling normal stuff, you juts need to learn a way

to deal with it better. i kept putting mine in God's hands, that is what got me

thru it. I kept saying that God would not give me anything I could not handle

and i knew there was a reson why no babies were coming. I was godmother to my

SIL baby gilr and cried all the way home because i felt so bad for myself

and wanted a baby sooo bad. Well, I found out a couple weeks after that baptism

that I was 10 weeks pregnant with twinsa nd it was ON MY OWN, NO FERTILITY

HELP at all. God does work in mysterious ways and I now look back at what was

happening in my life and I thank god that I did not get pregnant when I was

trying back them. I will tell you why. When I was in my early 20's I had a get

rich

quick scheme from a friend of a friend to sell Cocaine to sme locals and make

some fast cash. Since I grew up poor this sounded ssooo good at the time, I

did it for about 4 months and then quit it altogether. Well, then me and dh got

married and moved away to NY and started our own business, not with drug

money, we had already blown that, but with hard work. Well, this was when we

really started trying for a baby and 8 months after we moved to NY the federal

agents kicked in the back door of our home and arrested us for the sales of

cocaine I did in Vermont and after 1 1/2 years on bail I finally had to go to

prison

for 2 1/2 years to pay my dues. I know I did not deserve that harssh a

punishment since I had already rehabilitated myself by quitting and moving away

but

the feds thought i should pay, anyways, if I had actually had a baby them it

would of KILLED ME to leave that child behind when I went to prison. That is

how I know God was watching over me. It has been 15 years since all this

started and Thank God it is over and life is good again, we are back in NY with

a

great business, well liked in the community and most of all have our kids and

one on the way. Only one baby, my daughter was a Clomid baby with an IUI, the

rest have all been on my own, even the miscarraiges. Long story short, Don't

give up, God has a Plan, just be patient and good things will happen to you.

God Bless,

Robin, NorthEastern, NY

EDD- July 27th, 2004

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

Mommy to:

&

(twin boys 7 1/2),

Madison, daughter, 5 years and

Wife to Pup 15 years (October 31, 1988)

Gastric Bypass Surgery-

October 18th 2002

Start-378, current- 246(pregnant)

goal 170 after baby