Re: Feeling sad-from a little OT

[Guest guest]

> , when I began the diet, I myself have some -ah

shall I say rigid comfortable habits, and this diet

rocked my world to the core, I am an extrovert at work

all week, putting out again and again going the extra

10,000 miles with my Head Start kids and co-workers,

its a very warm wonderful place to work, BUT when I

get home I just want to crawl in my shell and ignore

the world- perhaps why I understand my son so well-

whoo by the way I am pleased to report as the result

of; relentless pursuit of the 'corn monster', and

ojibwa tea-its a definite -it helps- no stimming

noises on the mornings when he takes it in the middle

of the night, a bizzare 'where did that come from?'

snow day today and all the extra daylight and sunshine

we have had this week my son was 100^% again tonight-

my goodness- he stayed up until 10:30 quietly

assembling blocks we got at the dollar tree tonight-

not one stim noise! and meds way worn off- he even

said drifting off to sleep that no other kids in his

class get hyper, I asked if he likes being hyper and

he shook his head no! The way his eyes glow when he

is -I thought he did. I said that must be really

fustrating, he nodded his head yes. ( yes a truely

amazing conversation for an autistic like 10 year

old!)

But back to my point- there were many times before the

diet became a routine, ingrained part of our lives,

that I simply could not bare to go to the health food

store because it was too much for me to handle. Sooo

I found the foods in our regular shoping stores. Rice

puffs, Eden Rice/soy, rice cakes and smuckers natural

peanut butter and smuckers low sugar jellies, oscar

myers honey ham, (lettuce tomato hellmans and

applecider vinegar & ham roll-ups for the lunch box-

not so much now because we stay away from the hellmans

and the nitrates in the ham) Quacker apple cinnamon

mini rice cakes for munchies, my life is so much more

comfortable with Jay on the diet because the noises

and unpreditable spontaneous motions are gone!

And we can't have corn so that severly limits our diet

but before that became an issue, there were taco

nights w/ corn tortillas, rice and prego spagghetti

sauce,( I make the meat balls with the rice puffs

instead of bread crumbs), a rice dinner with a family

size campbells chicken 'n rice soup. This mom may not

have access to the internet to know all the foods that

are now GFCF- lays potato chips. She may be just over

whelmed by how hard it is to know 100% which foods are

GFCF and perhaps knowing 100% is part of her little

stake in the realm of rigidness. And if she or her

child has SAD, (seasonal affect disorder) that could

be confusing - as you all know I - who came to this

site raving about how incredible Jays development had

been on this diet the last year almost lost all hope-

as I looked back over the years, I realized last year

I was haveing the same issues with the school at this

time, the year before that he absolutely destroyed his

room and all his furniture in one of many rages before

his first addmittance at the psych hospital. The year

before that he was so detached around this time we

made our first of many crisis unit visits- where the

elderly psycologist hugged me and said " my god, how

have you kept this hopelessly psychcotic child home

this long - he doesnt belong outside an institution. " -

they sent him to a state pysch hospital for the

weekend, drugged him up and released him because he

was only six. The MD who diagnosised SAD two weeks

ago and gave me permission to keep him home and

outside a week was heaven sent I am sure! And I am

certain it was no accident discovering the corn in our

margarine( dont ask how I could be so obtuse) on ST.

's day - my father has been gone only five

years but he was my guiding light and Jays hero, and

in our house the 'Mehegans celebrated St. s day

with as much gusto as Christmas- hence the blessing of

finding the mystery infraction. I myself suffer from

SAD and before understanding and being diagnosised, It

was hard, I still feel even tonight with so much to

rejoice about, and full-spectrum light in my kitchen

and daily 15-30 minute romps outside no matter what- I

still feel a heavy tightness in chest, cement blocks

on my feet and tides of sadness. I logically think it

through and know what makes my chemistry do this and

tomorrow I will try to sift through the crusts of snow

to peek at my panseys and their eternally spring

purple buds just waiting for that first warm and sunny

day to open. And I tell myself my bright sunny

flowers are just waiting to burst through the damp

ground. Now if I didnt know I had SAD and also didnt

take the Dextrostat daily- a stimulant-I wish I could

say I can't imagine the downward spiral I would be in

right now- unfortunately I can still remember.

Imagine if this mom has SAD and just simple can not

budge the cement blocks on her feet to do anything!

If you think sharing this letter or my original post

might help please do so. I hope it helps to know how

much better Jay is doing again.

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