I've been uncharacteristically quiet

February 4, 2004

Hi, everyone. I've received a few private messages from people

wanting to know why I am not posting as often these days. Truth be

told, I have been so busy that I just have not had much time. I

check in every day, but I don't always have time to reply - or I

don't have much to say that already has not been said.

That has changed, however. I am no longer working two jobs, 7 days

a week, so I am hoping to be able to keep up to date and respond

more often. Now I am just teaching LLD Kindergarten and loving

every moment of it. Next year the plans are to hire me full-time to

teach a combo LLD Kindergarten/First Grade. I can't wait. I was

truly meant to have this job. I'm having the time of my life!

As for life with Max, it has been trying. He has chronic stomach

pains, lessened now by a strict milk/dairy free diet. The pains are

still there, but more bearable. I just wish I could wave my magic

Mom wand and make it go away. He has been through so very much all

these years and I just don't know how he can be so tolerant,

forgiving and such a great kid despite it all.

The other problem that persists is his hiccuping. This may sound

funny to some, but it is a serious thing. Sometimes these episodes

last for hours on end. It is nerve-racking to listen to and

frustrating to not be able to stop. The two tricks that seem to

work best are sucking on ice pops (numbs the esophagus and

diaphragm) and breathing slowly and controlled into a paper bag.

Dr. H. wants to repeat his gastric emptying study and will most

likely increase his cisapride. This is all so frustrating for us,

though, because that major surgery we put him through last summer

was supposed to be the cure. And it was not.

So, I daily deal with the guilt, anxiety and frustrations of having

a chronically ill/involved child. I internalize a lot and I have to

stop doing that. I am hoping, however, that my reduced work

schedule will help me and I can refocus where I need to be.

But sometimes dealing with RSS gets to be too much and I want to

bury my head in the sand.

Jodi Z.

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