Divorce

[Guest guest]

hey all... this really doesn't have that much to do with having a

clubfoot baby but... me and my husband are getting a divorce and

Grace and i will be moving out next weekend.. i am concerned about

her relationship with her dad... she is very afraid of most males

and i think a lot of that has to do with the fact that all her foot

doctors have been male... and partially a phase that all little

girls go through.. but when it comes time to put braces on and go to

bed, or when she falls down and gets hurt, or anything that's not

perfectly happy baby... she doesn't want anything to do with anyone

but mommy... so i am worried about when she goes to his house for a

night... what if he doesn't get her shoes on right... what if she

keeps crying... i am just so torn up over the thought of her crying

and me not being there... he has admitted that she is attached to my

hip but he wants to try a overnight and see how it goes... am i

being too over-protective? i am a little lost... she really doesn't

do well with anyone when i am not around except her baby-sitter and

my mom.. and he even admits that... he doesn't want me to even leave

her with him to go to the store up the street because she sits at

the back door and cries... any help?

mommy to Grace 12-03-03 BCF Dobb's Brace 23/7

[Guest guest]

Hi -

I'm sorry you are going through all of this right now. I can tell

you that it is completely normal that Grace is a " mommys' girl. Both

by sons were the same way for a few years. They both always run to

mom if they are hurt or sad. My oldest (will be 5 in a couple of

weeks) is just to the point where he would rather hang with dad

instead of mom. My 3 yr old boy would still wants to hang with mom.

>

> hey all... this really doesn't have that much to do with having a

> clubfoot baby but... me and my husband are getting a divorce and

> Grace and i will be moving out next weekend.. i am concerned about

> her relationship with her dad... she is very afraid of most males

> and i think a lot of that has to do with the fact that all her

foot

> doctors have been male... and partially a phase that all little

> girls go through.. but when it comes time to put braces on and go

to

> bed, or when she falls down and gets hurt, or anything that's not

> perfectly happy baby... she doesn't want anything to do with

anyone

> but mommy... so i am worried about when she goes to his house for

a

> night... what if he doesn't get her shoes on right... what if she

> keeps crying... i am just so torn up over the thought of her

crying

> and me not being there... he has admitted that she is attached to

my

> hip but he wants to try a overnight and see how it goes... am i

> being too over-protective? i am a little lost... she really

doesn't

> do well with anyone when i am not around except her baby-sitter

and

> my mom.. and he even admits that... he doesn't want me to even

leave

> her with him to go to the store up the street because she sits at

> the back door and cries... any help?

>

> mommy to Grace 12-03-03 BCF Dobb's Brace 23/7

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry to hear about the divorce, that plain stinks, been there done that. I

don't recall how old she is right now, but perhaps you should ease in to the

separation deal rather than force an over nighter right away. Let him take her

for a couple hours during a day, hang out away from home a little bit, do this

over the course of weeks, ease her in to the transition away from you.

You have my sympathy.

s.

hey all... this really doesn't have that much to do with having a

clubfoot baby but... me and my husband are getting a divorce and

Grace and i will be moving out next weekend.. i am concerned about

her relationship with her dad... she is very afraid of most males

and i think a lot of that has to do with the fact that all her foot

doctors have been male... and partially a phase that all little

girls go through.. but when it comes time to put braces on and go to

bed, or when she falls down and gets hurt, or anything that's not

perfectly happy baby... she doesn't want anything to do with anyone

but mommy... so i am worried about when she goes to his house for a

night... what if he doesn't get her shoes on right... what if she

keeps crying... i am just so torn up over the thought of her crying

and me not being there... he has admitted that she is attached to my

hip but he wants to try a overnight and see how it goes... am i

being too over-protective? i am a little lost... she really doesn't

do well with anyone when i am not around except her baby-sitter and

my mom.. and he even admits that... he doesn't want me to even leave

her with him to go to the store up the street because she sits at

the back door and cries... any help?

mommy to Grace 12-03-03 BCF Dobb's Brace 23/7

[Guest guest]

i have tried to get him to understand this... and tried to convince him to take

her for a few hours and not overnight at first... he is just being stubborn.. i

put in the papers that he had to provide her with a seperate bedroom, an age

appropriate bed, and a car seat before she could stay overnight.. he thought

this was crazy... am i being over-bearing? it's him and he has a 15 year old son

living with him... i just don't think she should have to share a bedroom with

either of them due to the large age difference... but he acted like that was a

stupid condition.. but he signed and that's all that matters to me... so as soon

as he gets a crib and a car seat for her then he will want her overnight i

guess... it just kills me though.. thanks for listening... i have spent the

weekend teaching him how to do her braces.. what to look for as a potential

problem... to make sure the bolts are tight... and all that.. making sure if the

bolt came loose what degree it has to be set at... i am

going to also mark it with a permanat marker so there is no confusion.... i am

a nervous wreck... can you tell!!! lol....

mommy to Grace 12-03-03 BCF Dobb's Brace 23/7

number23 number23@...> wrote:

I'm sorry to hear about the divorce, that plain stinks, been there done that. I

don't recall how old she is right now, but perhaps you should ease in to the

separation deal rather than force an over nighter right away. Let him take her

for a couple hours during a day, hang out away from home a little bit, do this

over the course of weeks, ease her in to the transition away from you.

You have my sympathy.

s.

love, lisa

before i made you in the womb, i knew you... love God.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi . I too am sorry that you are going through this. My husband

and I got divorced when my oldest son was 9 months old so I have kinda

been where you are now. Dylan doesn't have clubfoot but it was still

difficult. Fortunately in my situation my husband did listen to me

when I explained that Dylan, while still needing his Daddy, needed

stability during this change as well. Instead of overnight visits, he

would come to my house 3 nights a week for 2 or 3 hours and would then

take Dylan for a full 8 hours on Sundays. Due to his age, we didn't

think it was such a good idea for him to be possibly confused by going

to bed in two different places. Ray was more than welcome to spend all

the time he wanted with Dylan, sometimes he came over more than his 3

nights a week but Dylan never spent the night. As to the shoes, if Dad

can't get the hang of it, would it be possible for you to run over

there and put them on her? I couldn't tell you about when Grace gets

older...Ray and I got back together when Dylan was 18 months old and

remarried and have since had Ethan, bcf, and Logan, also bcf, will be

here in 6 weeks. I really hope Grace gets through the transition

alright...hopefully if she doesn't like to stay the night with him he

will take that into consideration and do what is in Grace's best

interest...not his.

Tina

Dylan 3-21-00 5 YEARS OLD TODAY!!!!

Ethan 3-06-04 bcf s 12/7

Logan 5/05 bcf HURRY UP AND GET HERE!!

>

> I'm sorry to hear about the divorce, that plain stinks, been there

done that. I don't recall how old she is right now, but perhaps you

should ease in to the separation deal rather than force an over

nighter right away. Let him take her for a couple hours during a day,

hang out away from home a little bit, do this over the course of

weeks, ease her in to the transition away from you.

>

> You have my sympathy.

> s.

>

>

> love, lisa

> before i made you in the womb, i knew you... love God.

>

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> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

tina...

that was what i proposed to him at first... she could spend as long as he wanted

each saturday and each sunday with him... and if she was too upset with me

leaving then i would stick around till she was ok.. but that she would sleep at

home with me till she was a little older and more stable with all of this... but

he wouldn't have it any other way... so he has every other weekend sat 12 to sun

12.. i told him he could come any night after work he wanted.. just call and

come over if he wanted to see her... but i really think it was all to mostly

hurt me... i have since asked him to help me with her next month when her

babysitter has to have surgery... asked him to take 2-3 vacation days to stay

home with her that week and i would do the others and he said no,... he hadn't

planned on taking vacation this year.. and he wouldn't keep her another time

that i needed... so i really think it's just a point to him... and that really

hurts me for her.. so i have to keep reminding myself to

make him out to be the best daddy and remind her that he loves her... even if i

think other wise at times... i just am really praying that he won't hurt her...

but only time will tell...

and he has put her shoes on her successfully twice now... the first time he put

them on backwards... and at first i couldn't figure out what the problem was...

but her feet were WAY over-corrected... they were pointing backwards... i asked

him if he had to tighten the bolts and it possibly got moved.. he swore no..

then after i stepped back and looked i realized they were on backwards... that

was actually pretty funny... well to me.. not to him... i just keep reminding

him of the importance of pushing her foot down while tightening to flatten her

foot... so i think he will do ok... but please pray for her... and pray that she

takes all this well... and throw a prayer int her for me too.. thank you... and

i am glad that you were able to work things out... i have prayed that would

happen too many times to count.. but i am starting to realize that it probably

won't happen... even though i wish it could... and that is great for you... and

congrats on the new baby.... i know how excited

you must be.... !!!!

mommy to Grace 12-03-03 BCF Dobb's Brace 23/7

dylansmommy2000 dylansmommy2000@...> wrote:

Hi . I too am sorry that you are going through this. My husband

and I got divorced when my oldest son was 9 months old so I have kinda

been where you are now. Dylan doesn't have clubfoot but it was still

difficult. Fortunately in my situation my husband did listen to me

when I explained that Dylan, while still needing his Daddy, needed

stability during this change as well. Instead of overnight visits, he

would come to my house 3 nights a week for 2 or 3 hours and would then

take Dylan for a full 8 hours on Sundays. Due to his age, we didn't

think it was such a good idea for him to be possibly confused by going

to bed in two different places. Ray was more than welcome to spend all

the time he wanted with Dylan, sometimes he came over more than his 3

nights a week but Dylan never spent the night. As to the shoes, if Dad

can't get the hang of it, would it be possible for you to run over

there and put them on her? I couldn't tell you about when Grace gets

older...Ray and I got back together when Dylan was 18 months old and

remarried and have since had Ethan, bcf, and Logan, also bcf, will be

here in 6 weeks. I really hope Grace gets through the transition

alright...hopefully if she doesn't like to stay the night with him he

will take that into consideration and do what is in Grace's best

interest...not his.

Tina

Dylan 3-21-00 5 YEARS OLD TODAY!!!!

Ethan 3-06-04 bcf s 12/7

Logan 5/05 bcf HURRY UP AND GET HERE!!

love, lisa

before i made you in the womb, i knew you... love God.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I will think about you and Grace often and hope everything works out.

I know what you mean about wanting things to work out and not have the

divorce happen. When I divorced Ray I honestly never thought that we

would ever get back together. It took him a while to realize that the

grass was not greener on the other side and being " tied down " to his

wife and child was not such a bad deal. He grew up alot and changed

alot before I ever consented to even talk about getting back together.

We didn't even get remarried for a year afterwards because I wanted to

make sure that this change was permenant and not just a fluke.

Fortunately, Dylan remembers nothing about the divorce and we will not

tell him. Just try to keep in mind that sometimes there is a happy

ending. Even if things don't work out you can move on and be happy

without him. My Dad had a miserable first marriage but then met my Mom

and they have been married for almost 31 years. Keep your chin up and

just always do what is in Grace's best interest and hopefully he will

follow suit.

Tina

>

> Hi . I too am sorry that you are going through this. My husband

> and I got divorced when my oldest son was 9 months old so I have kinda

> been where you are now. Dylan doesn't have clubfoot but it was still

> difficult. Fortunately in my situation my husband did listen to me

> when I explained that Dylan, while still needing his Daddy, needed

> stability during this change as well. Instead of overnight visits, he

> would come to my house 3 nights a week for 2 or 3 hours and would then

> take Dylan for a full 8 hours on Sundays. Due to his age, we didn't

> think it was such a good idea for him to be possibly confused by going

> to bed in two different places. Ray was more than welcome to spend all

> the time he wanted with Dylan, sometimes he came over more than his 3

> nights a week but Dylan never spent the night. As to the shoes, if Dad

> can't get the hang of it, would it be possible for you to run over

> there and put them on her? I couldn't tell you about when Grace gets

> older...Ray and I got back together when Dylan was 18 months old and

> remarried and have since had Ethan, bcf, and Logan, also bcf, will be

> here in 6 weeks. I really hope Grace gets through the transition

> alright...hopefully if she doesn't like to stay the night with him he

> will take that into consideration and do what is in Grace's best

> interest...not his.

>

> Tina

> Dylan 3-21-00 5 YEARS OLD TODAY!!!!

> Ethan 3-06-04 bcf s 12/7

> Logan 5/05 bcf HURRY UP AND GET HERE!!

>

>

> love, lisa

> before i made you in the womb, i knew you... love God.

>

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> __________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

tina...

thank you very much... and i will do what's best for her... and i really can't

see how he would be able to not do the same... she is just too much of an

angel.... although some times i think she has little horns that pop up from time

to time!!!! lol

mommyo to Grace 12-03-03 BCF Dobb's Brace 23/7

dylansmommy2000 dylansmommy2000@...> wrote:

I will think about you and Grace often and hope everything works out.

I know what you mean about wanting things to work out and not have the

divorce happen. When I divorced Ray I honestly never thought that we

would ever get back together. It took him a while to realize that the

grass was not greener on the other side and being " tied down " to his

wife and child was not such a bad deal. He grew up alot and changed

alot before I ever consented to even talk about getting back together.

We didn't even get remarried for a year afterwards because I wanted to

make sure that this change was permenant and not just a fluke.

Fortunately, Dylan remembers nothing about the divorce and we will not

tell him. Just try to keep in mind that sometimes there is a happy

ending. Even if things don't work out you can move on and be happy

without him. My Dad had a miserable first marriage but then met my Mom

and they have been married for almost 31 years. Keep your chin up and

just always do what is in Grace's best interest and hopefully he will

follow suit.

Tina

love, lisa

before i made you in the womb, i knew you... love God.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Ah, another mommy with two cf sons! I am happy your story has a happy

ending.

s.

Re: Divorce

Hi . I too am sorry that you are going through this. My husband

and I got divorced when my oldest son was 9 months old so I have kinda

been where you are now. Dylan doesn't have clubfoot but it was still

difficult. Fortunately in my situation my husband did listen to me

when I explained that Dylan, while still needing his Daddy, needed

stability during this change as well. Instead of overnight visits, he

would come to my house 3 nights a week for 2 or 3 hours and would then

take Dylan for a full 8 hours on Sundays. Due to his age, we didn't

think it was such a good idea for him to be possibly confused by going

to bed in two different places. Ray was more than welcome to spend all

the time he wanted with Dylan, sometimes he came over more than his 3

nights a week but Dylan never spent the night. As to the shoes, if Dad

can't get the hang of it, would it be possible for you to run over

there and put them on her? I couldn't tell you about when Grace gets

older...Ray and I got back together when Dylan was 18 months old and

remarried and have since had Ethan, bcf, and Logan, also bcf, will be

here in 6 weeks. I really hope Grace gets through the transition

alright...hopefully if she doesn't like to stay the night with him he

will take that into consideration and do what is in Grace's best

interest...not his.

Tina

Dylan 3-21-00 5 YEARS OLD TODAY!!!!

Ethan 3-06-04 bcf s 12/7

Logan 5/05 bcf HURRY UP AND GET HERE!!

>

> I'm sorry to hear about the divorce, that plain stinks, been there

done that. I don't recall how old she is right now, but perhaps you

should ease in to the separation deal rather than force an over

nighter right away. Let him take her for a couple hours during a day,

hang out away from home a little bit, do this over the course of

weeks, ease her in to the transition away from you.

>

> You have my sympathy.

> s.

>

>

> love, lisa

> before i made you in the womb, i knew you... love God.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Your ex sounds like mine - he did it all for show but where the rubber met the

road he didn't care and wouldn't take any extra days when I needed him to.

A key point is these types of men will dig their own graves so don't do any

digging for them by bad-mouthing them to the child, that'll backfire and turn

you in to the bad parent.

s.

tina...

that was what i proposed to him at first... she could spend as long as he wanted

each saturday and each sunday with him... and if she was too upset with me

leaving then i would stick around till she was ok.. but that she would sleep at

home with me till she was a little older and more stable with all of this... but

he wouldn't have it any other way... so he has every other weekend sat 12 to sun

12.. i told him he could come any night after work he wanted.. just call and

come over if he wanted to see her... but i really think it was all to mostly

hurt me... i have since asked him to help me with her next month when her

babysitter has to have surgery... asked him to take 2-3 vacation days to stay

home with her that week and i would do the others and he said no,... he hadn't

planned on taking vacation this year.. and he wouldn't keep her another time

that i needed... so i really think it's just a point to him... and that really

hurts me for her..