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My mother told me she sees a difference in him and then said all he

> needed was to be around other kids and he would be fine. Aaaaaagh!!

> Like this was going to make him " all right " . I told her he needed

to be

> taught how to socialize, that this just doesn't come naturally to

him

> and she started to give me that " you're over-reacting " tone. When

are

> people going to get a clue about our kids and what they need to be

a

> participating member of our world?

This reminds me of an experience of mine that I just wanted to share.

My father-in-law remarried and his wife is not the most tactful

person on the planet... a gross understatement.

Well, she says to me about our son Vico, " I don't think he's

Autistic, he's just slow. "

Thanks for that comforting thought. I really do think that she

thought this would cheer me up.

Whatever.

There are some folks that don't get it and I try to let those

comments bounce off of me.

I guess folks just have a lot of trouble coming to terms with the

fact that there is something going on with our children. As they say

denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

Moira

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>>>I guess folks just have a lot of trouble coming to terms with the fact

that there is something going on with our children.>>>>

I also think that they expect to be able to 'see' Autism, but in a lot of

cases, especially in the very young, it's pretty difficult to determine

ASD if you don't know what to look for. They don't understand the depth of

it. They ask why you believe your child is Autistic, and when you give

them the list of behaviors, they state with a wave of the hand " Oh, my

son/daughter used to do that too. " What they don't understand is the word

pervasive.

When I get someone doubting my motives I just listen to what they have to

say and then quietly tell them that they do not understand the disorder.

My key answer is always " if you are truly interested in learning about

Autism and how it affects my child then I'd be very glad to supply you with

some facts. " Sometimes they say yes, but most of they time it just gives

them more to think about. Every time I've done that the outcome has been

positive.

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In a message dated 4/26/01 1:01:41 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

michmeehan@... writes:

> When are

> people going to get a clue about our kids and what they need to be a

> participating member of our world?

>

>

>

>

Does your mom have a computer and is she online? I am so very lucky my dad is

really into the net and I sent him several websites. He has printed 30 pages

or more to read but what he has read online without printing. My mom told me

he explained to her how my kids can't even have a crumb of gluten. I don't

think they would have ever understood this diet if he hadn't gotten online

and read for himself. If your mom isn't online can you offer her some

reading material to help? Just tell her that it you would really like her

imput on what she reads etc. Hope that helps.

Debbie

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>>>You folks sure are a lot more patient than I am>>>>

Ahhh, I wouldn't call it patience. It pisses me off really, I just

wouldn't dream of telling my Dad to kiss my ass, or any of my friends (and

yes, they are good friends) either. Anyone else's opinion isn't worth an

angry thought or another word. Ignorance is just that, it's ignorance, we

are all ignorant of something, if not a plethora of things. When my son

was first diagnosed I didn't see it either. I thought he might be autistic

but when I started reading about autism he didn't fit that picture. He

just had a language delay. It wasn't until later that I got the right

books and knew what to look for.

Jeannie

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I explain he is autistic. If they have any more crap to say I replay

with one

> of several witty sayings:

>

> 1. kiss my a%#

> 2. eat my shorts

> 3. go suck an egg

>

> you get the idea.

>

> Bill

> Father to 4 yo ASD

> Toney, Alabama

This is why I love men - they are so direct! You go Bill! You sound

like my hubby - a Bronx boy who takes no crap

Moira

mom to Vico (4 ASD) and Culzean (almost 1)

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I just wanted to thank everyone that responded to my post. I always

feel so much better after coming to this site, you all give me the

support and encouragement I need to get through the day (and some days

I need a lot). I can't imagine trying to go through all this stuff

without you. Thank you.

, MA

> >>>I guess folks just have a lot of trouble coming to terms with the fact

> that there is something going on with our children.>>>>

>

> I also think that they expect to be able to 'see' Autism, but in a lot of

> cases, especially in the very young, it's pretty difficult to determine

> ASD if you don't know what to look for. They don't understand the depth of

> it. They ask why you believe your child is Autistic, and when you give

> them the list of behaviors, they state with a wave of the hand " Oh, my

> son/daughter used to do that too. " What they don't understand is the word

> pervasive.

> When I get someone doubting my motives I just listen to what they have to

> say and then quietly tell them that they do not understand the disorder.

> My key answer is always " if you are truly interested in learning about

> Autism and how it affects my child then I'd be very glad to supply you with

> some facts. " Sometimes they say yes, but most of they time it just gives

> them more to think about. Every time I've done that the outcome has been

> positive.

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Hi,

I think that a lot of family members try to minimize things because (1) they

truly don't understand the illness and (2) they are trying to make you feel

better.

Perhaps if she/they were willing to read if they haven't already, about

autism and the biological and physical abnormalities that can occur as a

result. Yes, your son may need to be taught those social skills, because his

nervous system has been harmed.

The more lab test we have had done, the more I believe that our son was brain

damaged due to mercury/MMR. So we have to undo that damage by teaching him

those skills, and his brain will make new neural connections.

The more she knows, the better she can support you and if it is appropriate,

be part of the team that helps your boy to overcome autism!

God will give you the wisdom!

Felicia

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In a message dated 5/1/01 5:16:08 PM Pacific Daylight Time, felclegg@...

writes:

> The more she knows, the better she can support you and if it is appropriate,

> be part of the team that helps your boy to overcome autism!

>

> God will give you the wisdom!

>

Please tell me that God will give THEM the wisdom...LOL

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