Guest guest Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 In a message dated 8/23/01 3:42:46 PM, duodenalswitch writes: << I am very happy to share that I have hit my 100 pound loss mark and am very excited. I am eating quite a bit and feel great. I was on this plateau for about 4 weeks and I am not crazed because I believe it will come off eventually. Thanks to all for your support and true caring. >> Ellen)Pam: COngrats! This is wonderful! 100 lbs gone!!! I'm so proud of you! The best thing is feeling great and being able to eat whatever you want without dire consequences... Ain't life grand??? all the best, lap ds with gallbladder removal January 25, 2001 Dr. GAgner/Mt. Sinai/NYC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 That is why things taste so good. I have truly noticed that when I eat at his restaursnt- the oil is more and I break my plateau. So for some fat and DONUTS of course can be beneficial>>>>. right Ellen! Wonderful to have a friend who is also a chef...they sure do know how to make foods palatable, dont they? Fats are what make our foods taste so good. I stress though that donuts only be used to break a plateau and not something to be eaten every day if it will make you start craving them...... Hugs, Judie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2001 Report Share Posted August 23, 2001 Congrats on hitting 100 lbs!! I can't even imagine how great that feels.. Good for you!! AJ Beauby1022050943@... wrote: >My friend is a fabulous chef and as you probably all know , fat rules with a >chef. You probably walk out eating a stick of butter if you know what I >mean. That is why things taste so good. I have truly noticed that when I >eat at his restaursnt- the oil is more and I break my plateau. So for some >fat and DONUTS of course can be beneficial. I am very happy to share that I >have hit my 100 pound loss mark and am very excited. I am eating quite a bit >and feel great. I was on this plateau for about 4 weeks and I am not crazed >because I believe it will come off eventually. Thanks to all for your >support and true caring. Ellen(Pam > >---------------------------------------------------------------------- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 In a message dated 12/29/2003 9:09:13 PM Pacific Standard Time, joneshandm@... writes: > Has anyone else come across an issue such as this? If so, what words > of advice(or whatever) can I say? > I believe in prayer. Say a prayer for your friend. Ask that God lead her to HER personal and unique " solution " ... which may not be your solution. This will take care of the unnecessary burden of guilt ....which btw.... is NOT yours to carry Hannah. Your emotional energy is such a blessing to those of us who have experienced it here " online " ... You have every right to be proud of yourself .. and happy ... without a smidgen of guilt. my two cents .....** hugs Skinny wishes from Mandy in CA 275/147/126 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 In a message dated 12/29/2003 9:09:13 PM Pacific Standard Time, joneshandm@... writes: > Has anyone else come across an issue such as this? If so, what words > of advice(or whatever) can I say? > I believe in prayer. Say a prayer for your friend. Ask that God lead her to HER personal and unique " solution " ... which may not be your solution. This will take care of the unnecessary burden of guilt ....which btw.... is NOT yours to carry Hannah. Your emotional energy is such a blessing to those of us who have experienced it here " online " ... You have every right to be proud of yourself .. and happy ... without a smidgen of guilt. my two cents .....** hugs Skinny wishes from Mandy in CA 275/147/126 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Hannah - My surgery is in six days (OMG don't even get me started on that) and when I come out of it I may lose my best friend of 21 years. She too is overweight and is telling me I am selfish for having the surgery. I have been preached to by her about how she's losing weight by changing her attitude (I can't say I've noticed a weight change) and I have heard it from other friends of hers. Ironically, in the year I have waited for this surgery, I have lost 12 lbs by starting to change my attitude and eating habits. A drop in the bucket I realize but at least in the right direction. Additionally, my husband is not in favor of the surgery (he too is overweight) and is tolerant at best. He expects me to tell him everything that needs to be done following the surgery, he has involved himself in none of the pre-op consultations. I have told both of them that I understand their concern for the surgery (whethere that's what it is or not I'll give them the out) but that this decision is for me. I am not doing this for anyone else on the face of the earth other than me. If that is selfish, then so be it. And I have moved on to attempt to develop a support network elsewhere (various groups out here). Interestingly enough, I have been criticized for that as well. People will react differently to the weight loss. The vast majority will be impressed and delighted for you but some will be jealous and feel threatened. Since I had this issue from the moment I made the decision, I have been able to talk it over with my therapist and understand it for what it is, people do not like change and some can feel threatened by it. I have decided that my health and well being were the most important thing to me. I am hoping that it will not cost me my friendship but if it does then if this breaks a 21 year friendship it couldn't have been as strong as I thought. I hope this rambling makes some sense. A night of no sleep tends to make me disorganized. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Hannah - My surgery is in six days (OMG don't even get me started on that) and when I come out of it I may lose my best friend of 21 years. She too is overweight and is telling me I am selfish for having the surgery. I have been preached to by her about how she's losing weight by changing her attitude (I can't say I've noticed a weight change) and I have heard it from other friends of hers. Ironically, in the year I have waited for this surgery, I have lost 12 lbs by starting to change my attitude and eating habits. A drop in the bucket I realize but at least in the right direction. Additionally, my husband is not in favor of the surgery (he too is overweight) and is tolerant at best. He expects me to tell him everything that needs to be done following the surgery, he has involved himself in none of the pre-op consultations. I have told both of them that I understand their concern for the surgery (whethere that's what it is or not I'll give them the out) but that this decision is for me. I am not doing this for anyone else on the face of the earth other than me. If that is selfish, then so be it. And I have moved on to attempt to develop a support network elsewhere (various groups out here). Interestingly enough, I have been criticized for that as well. People will react differently to the weight loss. The vast majority will be impressed and delighted for you but some will be jealous and feel threatened. Since I had this issue from the moment I made the decision, I have been able to talk it over with my therapist and understand it for what it is, people do not like change and some can feel threatened by it. I have decided that my health and well being were the most important thing to me. I am hoping that it will not cost me my friendship but if it does then if this breaks a 21 year friendship it couldn't have been as strong as I thought. I hope this rambling makes some sense. A night of no sleep tends to make me disorganized. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 In a message dated 12/30/2003 7:28:37 AM Pacific Standard Time, Leeds@... writes: > I still don't see how people can find us " selfish " for wanting to go > through with this surgery. If wanting to live instead of die is > selfish...then I guess I'm very selfish! > ditto ... my thoughts exactly ... Skinny wishes from Mandy in CA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 In a message dated 12/30/2003 7:28:37 AM Pacific Standard Time, Leeds@... writes: > I still don't see how people can find us " selfish " for wanting to go > through with this surgery. If wanting to live instead of die is > selfish...then I guess I'm very selfish! > ditto ... my thoughts exactly ... Skinny wishes from Mandy in CA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 In a message dated 12/30/2003 7:25:17 AM Pacific Standard Time, Leeds@... writes: > I have a friend who had surgery over a year before I did...14 > months to be exact. She started out at about 350lbs and hasn't cleared > 300 yet and wanted to know what my " secret " was. you know , people somehow think the weight magically melts off the body after WLS. Am so glad that you posted this ... because as you know weight loss, any way you look at it ....its HARD WORK It takes the same commitment and dedication .... that a none WLS persona would have to implement. " We " have more tools ...yes, ... but again ... implementing those tools is " key " . Thanks for the reminder. Skinny Wishes from Mandy in CA 275/147/126 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 In a message dated 12/30/2003 7:25:17 AM Pacific Standard Time, Leeds@... writes: > I have a friend who had surgery over a year before I did...14 > months to be exact. She started out at about 350lbs and hasn't cleared > 300 yet and wanted to know what my " secret " was. you know , people somehow think the weight magically melts off the body after WLS. Am so glad that you posted this ... because as you know weight loss, any way you look at it ....its HARD WORK It takes the same commitment and dedication .... that a none WLS persona would have to implement. " We " have more tools ...yes, ... but again ... implementing those tools is " key " . Thanks for the reminder. Skinny Wishes from Mandy in CA 275/147/126 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 I think Constance said it very well. I too have people talk to me about wanting to lose weight like I do. I try to remember that not everyone is ready for a huge commitment like this one and explain to people that although I had the surgery, that was my personal choice, I had to make my own decision about what was best for ME and they should make their own decisions about what is best for them. Working at Curves is very hard because when I get asked by the very beautifully large women there why my clothes are so baggy....I really can't say much except that I had the surgery and now I'm working on getting fit at Curves. Then they all want to hear the story and see the pictures and (although they are very pleased and amazed at what I've done) it doesn't go over really well with my boss and co-workers if I tell the clients. Also, I have a friend who had surgery over a year before I did...14 months to be exact. She started out at about 350lbs and hasn't cleared 300 yet and wanted to know what my " secret " was. How do you tell someone like that to stop eating pizza, double stuff oreos, candy, and drinking sodas every day??? This is only a tool, how we use it after the tool is implemented is up to us. Remember this is a personal decision. Everyone has to make their own. If your friends cannot support that decision, what kind of friend are they? Does everyone agree on what religion is THE right one? Does everyone agree on what kind of politics they should practice? I don't know about anyone else, but if someone who was supposedly my friend refused to talk to me because I became pro-active enough to want to LIVE instead of DIE I probably wouldn't consider them a friend anymore. T. Lap RNY 6/20/03 432/293/170 Houston, Dr. Adam Naaman Visit my homepage at http://users3.ev1.net/~leeds/ " I will find my way, I can go the distance. I'll be there someday if I can be strong, I know every mile will be worth my while, I would go most anywhere to fell like I belong. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 I think Constance said it very well. I too have people talk to me about wanting to lose weight like I do. I try to remember that not everyone is ready for a huge commitment like this one and explain to people that although I had the surgery, that was my personal choice, I had to make my own decision about what was best for ME and they should make their own decisions about what is best for them. Working at Curves is very hard because when I get asked by the very beautifully large women there why my clothes are so baggy....I really can't say much except that I had the surgery and now I'm working on getting fit at Curves. Then they all want to hear the story and see the pictures and (although they are very pleased and amazed at what I've done) it doesn't go over really well with my boss and co-workers if I tell the clients. Also, I have a friend who had surgery over a year before I did...14 months to be exact. She started out at about 350lbs and hasn't cleared 300 yet and wanted to know what my " secret " was. How do you tell someone like that to stop eating pizza, double stuff oreos, candy, and drinking sodas every day??? This is only a tool, how we use it after the tool is implemented is up to us. Remember this is a personal decision. Everyone has to make their own. If your friends cannot support that decision, what kind of friend are they? Does everyone agree on what religion is THE right one? Does everyone agree on what kind of politics they should practice? I don't know about anyone else, but if someone who was supposedly my friend refused to talk to me because I became pro-active enough to want to LIVE instead of DIE I probably wouldn't consider them a friend anymore. T. Lap RNY 6/20/03 432/293/170 Houston, Dr. Adam Naaman Visit my homepage at http://users3.ev1.net/~leeds/ " I will find my way, I can go the distance. I'll be there someday if I can be strong, I know every mile will be worth my while, I would go most anywhere to fell like I belong. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 I still don't see how people can find us " selfish " for wanting to go through with this surgery. If wanting to live instead of die is selfish...then I guess I'm very selfish! T. Lap RNY 6/20/03 432/293/170 Houston, Dr. Adam Naaman Visit my homepage at http://users3.ev1.net/~leeds/ " I will find my way, I can go the distance. I'll be there someday if I can be strong, I know every mile will be worth my while, I would go most anywhere to fell like I belong. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 I still don't see how people can find us " selfish " for wanting to go through with this surgery. If wanting to live instead of die is selfish...then I guess I'm very selfish! T. Lap RNY 6/20/03 432/293/170 Houston, Dr. Adam Naaman Visit my homepage at http://users3.ev1.net/~leeds/ " I will find my way, I can go the distance. I'll be there someday if I can be strong, I know every mile will be worth my while, I would go most anywhere to fell like I belong. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 I've been a lurker for quite sometime. I have been researching WLS and I keep returning to this site. I haven't decided yet to have the surgery. My biggest draw back is my husband. So your post really rang a bell for me. Don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful man. He just doesn't understand the struggles of being MO or the ups and downs of dieting. It is an endless cycle of defeat. His biggest fear is for me. We have been married for almost 25 years and 20+ of those years I have been over weight. He has never made my weight an issue in our marriage. In about ten minutes we are suppose to sit down and discuss WLS and the alternatives. He says he has numerous " ideas " of what I can do besides surgery and dieting. So we will see. I just don't think he gets it and I hope I will be able to get him to see the benefits of WLS. Wish me luck and good luck on being on the losing side in six more days. Myra > Hannah - > > My surgery is in six days (OMG don't even get me started on that) and > when I come out of it I may lose my best friend of 21 years. She too > is overweight and is telling me I am selfish for having the surgery. > I have been preached to by her about how she's losing weight by > changing her attitude (I can't say I've noticed a weight change) and > I have heard it from other friends of hers. Ironically, in the year I > have waited for this surgery, I have lost 12 lbs by starting to > change my attitude and eating habits. A drop in the bucket I realize > but at least in the right direction. Additionally, my husband is not > in favor of the surgery (he too is overweight) and is tolerant at > best. He expects me to tell him everything that needs to be done > following the surgery, he has involved himself in none of the pre- op > consultations. > > I have told both of them that I understand their concern for the > surgery (whethere that's what it is or not I'll give them the out) > but that this decision is for me. I am not doing this for anyone else > on the face of the earth other than me. If that is selfish, then so > be it. And I have moved on to attempt to develop a support network > elsewhere (various groups out here). Interestingly enough, I have > been criticized for that as well. > > People will react differently to the weight loss. The vast majority > will be impressed and delighted for you but some will be jealous and > feel threatened. Since I had this issue from the moment I made the > decision, I have been able to talk it over with my therapist and > understand it for what it is, people do not like change and some can > feel threatened by it. I have decided that my health and well being > were the most important thing to me. I am hoping that it will not > cost me my friendship but if it does then if this breaks a 21 year > friendship it couldn't have been as strong as I thought. > > I hope this rambling makes some sense. A night of no sleep tends to > make me disorganized. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 I've been a lurker for quite sometime. I have been researching WLS and I keep returning to this site. I haven't decided yet to have the surgery. My biggest draw back is my husband. So your post really rang a bell for me. Don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful man. He just doesn't understand the struggles of being MO or the ups and downs of dieting. It is an endless cycle of defeat. His biggest fear is for me. We have been married for almost 25 years and 20+ of those years I have been over weight. He has never made my weight an issue in our marriage. In about ten minutes we are suppose to sit down and discuss WLS and the alternatives. He says he has numerous " ideas " of what I can do besides surgery and dieting. So we will see. I just don't think he gets it and I hope I will be able to get him to see the benefits of WLS. Wish me luck and good luck on being on the losing side in six more days. Myra > Hannah - > > My surgery is in six days (OMG don't even get me started on that) and > when I come out of it I may lose my best friend of 21 years. She too > is overweight and is telling me I am selfish for having the surgery. > I have been preached to by her about how she's losing weight by > changing her attitude (I can't say I've noticed a weight change) and > I have heard it from other friends of hers. Ironically, in the year I > have waited for this surgery, I have lost 12 lbs by starting to > change my attitude and eating habits. A drop in the bucket I realize > but at least in the right direction. Additionally, my husband is not > in favor of the surgery (he too is overweight) and is tolerant at > best. He expects me to tell him everything that needs to be done > following the surgery, he has involved himself in none of the pre- op > consultations. > > I have told both of them that I understand their concern for the > surgery (whethere that's what it is or not I'll give them the out) > but that this decision is for me. I am not doing this for anyone else > on the face of the earth other than me. If that is selfish, then so > be it. And I have moved on to attempt to develop a support network > elsewhere (various groups out here). Interestingly enough, I have > been criticized for that as well. > > People will react differently to the weight loss. The vast majority > will be impressed and delighted for you but some will be jealous and > feel threatened. Since I had this issue from the moment I made the > decision, I have been able to talk it over with my therapist and > understand it for what it is, people do not like change and some can > feel threatened by it. I have decided that my health and well being > were the most important thing to me. I am hoping that it will not > cost me my friendship but if it does then if this breaks a 21 year > friendship it couldn't have been as strong as I thought. > > I hope this rambling makes some sense. A night of no sleep tends to > make me disorganized. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Hannah, my sister is like your friend, wants not to be fat, but unwilling to do something about it, doesn't even want to cut down, especially from her pizza habit. Every time I see her, I get lots of comments about me losing weight, and then comments about her dilemma. I know from the past she isn't willing to do anything, she can say the words, but isn't in touch with the reality that she's heading for disaster, especially the inherited Diabetes. I'd like to shake her sometimes because I see her heading towards a train wreck. We went to the movies yesterday and she kept trying to get me to eat the popcorn and candy the others had. She couldn't seem to understand that I was fine with my water. I don't know any magic words, but in your writing, I seemed to connect with feeling that I can comment to her like ..... " there are many options, if you want them. " If she, at some point, can understand what I'm saying, she'll question it further. Otherwise, I've put it out there, and she really has to make her own decision. You're right, it makes me feel bad too, because you know they need some change, not necessarily the surgery, but anything to lose some weight, whether it's exercise, watching what you eat, many diets, a weight program, etc. Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Hannah, my sister is like your friend, wants not to be fat, but unwilling to do something about it, doesn't even want to cut down, especially from her pizza habit. Every time I see her, I get lots of comments about me losing weight, and then comments about her dilemma. I know from the past she isn't willing to do anything, she can say the words, but isn't in touch with the reality that she's heading for disaster, especially the inherited Diabetes. I'd like to shake her sometimes because I see her heading towards a train wreck. We went to the movies yesterday and she kept trying to get me to eat the popcorn and candy the others had. She couldn't seem to understand that I was fine with my water. I don't know any magic words, but in your writing, I seemed to connect with feeling that I can comment to her like ..... " there are many options, if you want them. " If she, at some point, can understand what I'm saying, she'll question it further. Otherwise, I've put it out there, and she really has to make her own decision. You're right, it makes me feel bad too, because you know they need some change, not necessarily the surgery, but anything to lose some weight, whether it's exercise, watching what you eat, many diets, a weight program, etc. Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 I'm sad to hear that both your best friend and hubby aren't supportive about this. I'm sure this is who you need support from the most. But life doesn't always go the way it should, so keep your wonderfully positive attitude with you, as well as the reasons you're doing this. I hope when they see positive changes in your weight loss, they can begin to understand it more. Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 Re: just a thought Hannah - My surgery is in six days (OMG don't even get me started on that) and when I come out of it I may lose my best friend of 21 years. She too is overweight and is telling me I am selfish for having the surgery. I have been preached to by her about how she's losing weight by changing her attitude (I can't say I've noticed a weight change) and I have heard it from other friends of hers. Ironically, in the year I have waited for this surgery, I have lost 12 lbs by starting to change my attitude and eating habits. A drop in the bucket I realize but at least in the right direction. Additionally, my husband is not in favor of the surgery (he too is overweight) and is tolerant at best. He expects me to tell him everything that needs to be done following the surgery, he has involved himself in none of the pre-op consultations. I have told both of them that I understand their concern for the surgery (whethere that's what it is or not I'll give them the out) but that this decision is for me. I am not doing this for anyone else on the face of the earth other than me. If that is selfish, then so be it. And I have moved on to attempt to develop a support network elsewhere (various groups out here). Interestingly enough, I have been criticized for that as well. People will react differently to the weight loss. The vast majority will be impressed and delighted for you but some will be jealous and feel threatened. Since I had this issue from the moment I made the decision, I have been able to talk it over with my therapist and understand it for what it is, people do not like change and some can feel threatened by it. I have decided that my health and well being were the most important thing to me. I am hoping that it will not cost me my friendship but if it does then if this breaks a 21 year friendship it couldn't have been as strong as I thought. I hope this rambling makes some sense. A night of no sleep tends to make me disorganized. LOL ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 I'm sad to hear that both your best friend and hubby aren't supportive about this. I'm sure this is who you need support from the most. But life doesn't always go the way it should, so keep your wonderfully positive attitude with you, as well as the reasons you're doing this. I hope when they see positive changes in your weight loss, they can begin to understand it more. Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 Re: just a thought Hannah - My surgery is in six days (OMG don't even get me started on that) and when I come out of it I may lose my best friend of 21 years. She too is overweight and is telling me I am selfish for having the surgery. I have been preached to by her about how she's losing weight by changing her attitude (I can't say I've noticed a weight change) and I have heard it from other friends of hers. Ironically, in the year I have waited for this surgery, I have lost 12 lbs by starting to change my attitude and eating habits. A drop in the bucket I realize but at least in the right direction. Additionally, my husband is not in favor of the surgery (he too is overweight) and is tolerant at best. He expects me to tell him everything that needs to be done following the surgery, he has involved himself in none of the pre-op consultations. I have told both of them that I understand their concern for the surgery (whethere that's what it is or not I'll give them the out) but that this decision is for me. I am not doing this for anyone else on the face of the earth other than me. If that is selfish, then so be it. And I have moved on to attempt to develop a support network elsewhere (various groups out here). Interestingly enough, I have been criticized for that as well. People will react differently to the weight loss. The vast majority will be impressed and delighted for you but some will be jealous and feel threatened. Since I had this issue from the moment I made the decision, I have been able to talk it over with my therapist and understand it for what it is, people do not like change and some can feel threatened by it. I have decided that my health and well being were the most important thing to me. I am hoping that it will not cost me my friendship but if it does then if this breaks a 21 year friendship it couldn't have been as strong as I thought. I hope this rambling makes some sense. A night of no sleep tends to make me disorganized. LOL ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Myra, I'm assuming he doesn't have a weight problem?? That does make it very hard for others to understand, not only the physical, but the mental as well. My husband always says, he wants for me whatever it is I want......sounds very supportive, but I do have to admit, he reacts to me differently as I'm losing. I imagine some is the weight loss, but too most days I feel on a definite high from the quick changes that are occurring, so I'd imagine I'm much more pleasant to be around..... Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 Re: just a thought I've been a lurker for quite sometime. I have been researching WLS and I keep returning to this site. I haven't decided yet to have the surgery. My biggest draw back is my husband. So your post really rang a bell for me. Don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful man. He just doesn't understand the struggles of being MO or the ups and downs of dieting. It is an endless cycle of defeat. His biggest fear is for me. We have been married for almost 25 years and 20+ of those years I have been over weight. He has never made my weight an issue in our marriage. In about ten minutes we are suppose to sit down and discuss WLS and the alternatives. He says he has numerous " ideas " of what I can do besides surgery and dieting. So we will see. I just don't think he gets it and I hope I will be able to get him to see the benefits of WLS. Wish me luck and good luck on being on the losing side in six more days. Myra > Hannah - > > My surgery is in six days (OMG don't even get me started on that) and > when I come out of it I may lose my best friend of 21 years. She too > is overweight and is telling me I am selfish for having the surgery. > I have been preached to by her about how she's losing weight by > changing her attitude (I can't say I've noticed a weight change) and > I have heard it from other friends of hers. Ironically, in the year I > have waited for this surgery, I have lost 12 lbs by starting to > change my attitude and eating habits. A drop in the bucket I realize > but at least in the right direction. Additionally, my husband is not > in favor of the surgery (he too is overweight) and is tolerant at > best. He expects me to tell him everything that needs to be done > following the surgery, he has involved himself in none of the pre- op > consultations. > > I have told both of them that I understand their concern for the > surgery (whethere that's what it is or not I'll give them the out) > but that this decision is for me. I am not doing this for anyone else > on the face of the earth other than me. If that is selfish, then so > be it. And I have moved on to attempt to develop a support network > elsewhere (various groups out here). Interestingly enough, I have > been criticized for that as well. > > People will react differently to the weight loss. The vast majority > will be impressed and delighted for you but some will be jealous and > feel threatened. Since I had this issue from the moment I made the > decision, I have been able to talk it over with my therapist and > understand it for what it is, people do not like change and some can > feel threatened by it. I have decided that my health and well being > were the most important thing to me. I am hoping that it will not > cost me my friendship but if it does then if this breaks a 21 year > friendship it couldn't have been as strong as I thought. > > I hope this rambling makes some sense. A night of no sleep tends to > make me disorganized. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Me too!!!!!!!!! Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 RE: Re: just a thought I still don't see how people can find us " selfish " for wanting to go through with this surgery. If wanting to live instead of die is selfish...then I guess I'm very selfish! T. Lap RNY 6/20/03 432/293/170 Houston, Dr. Adam Naaman Visit my homepage at http://users3.ev1.net/~leeds/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Myra, I'm assuming he doesn't have a weight problem?? That does make it very hard for others to understand, not only the physical, but the mental as well. My husband always says, he wants for me whatever it is I want......sounds very supportive, but I do have to admit, he reacts to me differently as I'm losing. I imagine some is the weight loss, but too most days I feel on a definite high from the quick changes that are occurring, so I'd imagine I'm much more pleasant to be around..... Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 Re: just a thought I've been a lurker for quite sometime. I have been researching WLS and I keep returning to this site. I haven't decided yet to have the surgery. My biggest draw back is my husband. So your post really rang a bell for me. Don't get me wrong, he is a wonderful man. He just doesn't understand the struggles of being MO or the ups and downs of dieting. It is an endless cycle of defeat. His biggest fear is for me. We have been married for almost 25 years and 20+ of those years I have been over weight. He has never made my weight an issue in our marriage. In about ten minutes we are suppose to sit down and discuss WLS and the alternatives. He says he has numerous " ideas " of what I can do besides surgery and dieting. So we will see. I just don't think he gets it and I hope I will be able to get him to see the benefits of WLS. Wish me luck and good luck on being on the losing side in six more days. Myra > Hannah - > > My surgery is in six days (OMG don't even get me started on that) and > when I come out of it I may lose my best friend of 21 years. She too > is overweight and is telling me I am selfish for having the surgery. > I have been preached to by her about how she's losing weight by > changing her attitude (I can't say I've noticed a weight change) and > I have heard it from other friends of hers. Ironically, in the year I > have waited for this surgery, I have lost 12 lbs by starting to > change my attitude and eating habits. A drop in the bucket I realize > but at least in the right direction. Additionally, my husband is not > in favor of the surgery (he too is overweight) and is tolerant at > best. He expects me to tell him everything that needs to be done > following the surgery, he has involved himself in none of the pre- op > consultations. > > I have told both of them that I understand their concern for the > surgery (whethere that's what it is or not I'll give them the out) > but that this decision is for me. I am not doing this for anyone else > on the face of the earth other than me. If that is selfish, then so > be it. And I have moved on to attempt to develop a support network > elsewhere (various groups out here). Interestingly enough, I have > been criticized for that as well. > > People will react differently to the weight loss. The vast majority > will be impressed and delighted for you but some will be jealous and > feel threatened. Since I had this issue from the moment I made the > decision, I have been able to talk it over with my therapist and > understand it for what it is, people do not like change and some can > feel threatened by it. I have decided that my health and well being > were the most important thing to me. I am hoping that it will not > cost me my friendship but if it does then if this breaks a 21 year > friendship it couldn't have been as strong as I thought. > > I hope this rambling makes some sense. A night of no sleep tends to > make me disorganized. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Me too!!!!!!!!! Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 RE: Re: just a thought I still don't see how people can find us " selfish " for wanting to go through with this surgery. If wanting to live instead of die is selfish...then I guess I'm very selfish! T. Lap RNY 6/20/03 432/293/170 Houston, Dr. Adam Naaman Visit my homepage at http://users3.ev1.net/~leeds/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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