Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Thank you everyone for your responses...all so well said...thank you, thank you!! Hannah > I had my surgery on 9/29/03 and of course as everyone has, lost a > considerable and noticable amount of weight...my problem(well not a > big problem) deals with people who are overweight(even slightly) that > make comments such as, " I wish I was losing weight like you " or " I am > so fat, I don't know how I am ever going to lose weight " ...the thing > is that although my surgery to this date has been very sucessful, I > don't feel like I should " preach " to anyone, as it was a very mindful > and personal decision. I have one particular person who does this to > me and throughout our lives we have both struggled with weight issues > as we have also tried and failed at many diets together. My best > response so far has been, " well, what do you want to do about your > weight? " She says I want not to be fat, which I am sure we can all > understand. I know that she is scared of the surgery, but is really > unwilling to do anything else. It's like part of me almost feels bad > because I am losing weight and she is not. I think that she is > envious of me and that makes me feel worse, because of course I did > this to live a healthy life and not to flaunt it to anyone, although > I am very proud of myself...(tooting of my own horn). Along with > being proud of myself is a sense of accomplishment, because I have > worked so hard at making this surgery work. > Has anyone else come across an issue such as this? If so, what words > of advice(or whatever) can I say? > Thanks > Hannah > open Rny > 9/29/03 > 288/215/??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Thank you everyone for your responses...all so well said...thank you, thank you!! Hannah > I had my surgery on 9/29/03 and of course as everyone has, lost a > considerable and noticable amount of weight...my problem(well not a > big problem) deals with people who are overweight(even slightly) that > make comments such as, " I wish I was losing weight like you " or " I am > so fat, I don't know how I am ever going to lose weight " ...the thing > is that although my surgery to this date has been very sucessful, I > don't feel like I should " preach " to anyone, as it was a very mindful > and personal decision. I have one particular person who does this to > me and throughout our lives we have both struggled with weight issues > as we have also tried and failed at many diets together. My best > response so far has been, " well, what do you want to do about your > weight? " She says I want not to be fat, which I am sure we can all > understand. I know that she is scared of the surgery, but is really > unwilling to do anything else. It's like part of me almost feels bad > because I am losing weight and she is not. I think that she is > envious of me and that makes me feel worse, because of course I did > this to live a healthy life and not to flaunt it to anyone, although > I am very proud of myself...(tooting of my own horn). Along with > being proud of myself is a sense of accomplishment, because I have > worked so hard at making this surgery work. > Has anyone else come across an issue such as this? If so, what words > of advice(or whatever) can I say? > Thanks > Hannah > open Rny > 9/29/03 > 288/215/??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Joan, He doesn't have what I consider a weight problem. He could lose about 15lbs, but on a 6'4 " body, that doesn't seem like much. We just had our " talk " and he is trying to be supportive. He is worried on how I would be effected in the long run. He told me to do what I need to do to get things started, like ask my doctor for a supervised diet, to help my insurance company be more acceptive of the idea. This will probably be a long haul. My husband is self employed and we are responsible for our own insurance. We currently have Golden Rule. It really stinks, so we are in the process of changing. We hope to make a decision by January 1st. He is leaning towards BC/BS. I hope it is the right decision. I am looking into doing the self pay if I have to. Like I said, I think I am in for the long haul. I would really like to get it done this year if possible. Myra > Myra, I'm assuming he doesn't have a weight problem?? That does make it > very hard for others to understand, not only the physical, but the mental as > well. My husband always says, he wants for me whatever it is I > want......sounds very supportive, but I do have to admit, he reacts to me > differently as I'm losing. I imagine some is the weight loss, but too most > days I feel on a definite high from the quick changes that are occurring, so > I'd imagine I'm much more pleasant to be around..... > > Joan > LAP RNY 11/18/03 > Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA > 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 > Re: just a thought > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Joan, He doesn't have what I consider a weight problem. He could lose about 15lbs, but on a 6'4 " body, that doesn't seem like much. We just had our " talk " and he is trying to be supportive. He is worried on how I would be effected in the long run. He told me to do what I need to do to get things started, like ask my doctor for a supervised diet, to help my insurance company be more acceptive of the idea. This will probably be a long haul. My husband is self employed and we are responsible for our own insurance. We currently have Golden Rule. It really stinks, so we are in the process of changing. We hope to make a decision by January 1st. He is leaning towards BC/BS. I hope it is the right decision. I am looking into doing the self pay if I have to. Like I said, I think I am in for the long haul. I would really like to get it done this year if possible. Myra > Myra, I'm assuming he doesn't have a weight problem?? That does make it > very hard for others to understand, not only the physical, but the mental as > well. My husband always says, he wants for me whatever it is I > want......sounds very supportive, but I do have to admit, he reacts to me > differently as I'm losing. I imagine some is the weight loss, but too most > days I feel on a definite high from the quick changes that are occurring, so > I'd imagine I'm much more pleasant to be around..... > > Joan > LAP RNY 11/18/03 > Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA > 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 > Re: just a thought > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Myra, I'm so delighted to hear you and hubby had your talk. His support will go a long way into helping you. BTW, I have Blue Shield HMO, and was told to expect to get initially denied, but it went right through. Hope to continue to hear from you and your progress. Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 Re: just a thought > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Myra, I'm so delighted to hear you and hubby had your talk. His support will go a long way into helping you. BTW, I have Blue Shield HMO, and was told to expect to get initially denied, but it went right through. Hope to continue to hear from you and your progress. Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 Re: just a thought > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Thanks for the information Joan. That's good to know. Myra > Myra, I'm so delighted to hear you and hubby had your talk. His support > will go a long way into helping you. BTW, I have Blue Shield HMO, and was > told to expect to get initially denied, but it went right through. Hope to > continue to hear from you and your progress. > > Joan > LAP RNY 11/18/03 > Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA > 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 > Re: just a thought > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Thanks for the information Joan. That's good to know. Myra > Myra, I'm so delighted to hear you and hubby had your talk. His support > will go a long way into helping you. BTW, I have Blue Shield HMO, and was > told to expect to get initially denied, but it went right through. Hope to > continue to hear from you and your progress. > > Joan > LAP RNY 11/18/03 > Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA > 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 > Re: just a thought > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Hannah, We had surgery around the same time. Mine was 9/25/03. I understand how you feel when your friend says things like that. My best friend makes comments that can really hurt my feelings and make me feel guilty. She has said.. " Guess I am the " fat " friend now. " Or " You only have one chin now instead of three " And she makes comments about wanting to lose weight but sits there and stuffs her face with junk food (in front of me) while she is complaining about her weight. I love her to death and would do anything for her but sometimes I just want to smack her to wake her up. The surgery was a personal decision for ME also. I did not do it for the weight issues...I did it to improve my health and rid myself of the Co- morbidities that I was facing. Surgery or any kind of diet is a decision that each individual needs to make on their own. Try not to allow yourself to feel guilty..(even though I know it is hard)...cause your friend has to find her own answer to her weight issues. Whether that is surgery or diets or nothing at all...it is all her decision just as it was your decision to have the surgery and get your life and health back. Never feel guilty for wanting to improve your life and your health! Also, just like you...I did not have the surgery to " flaunt " my new image to people. My goal was to have better health and live longer so that I can be around to see my son become a young man and someday see my grandkids. I want to be able to do things without having to stop and rest every 5 steps. So far I am accomplishing those goals cause my health is already better after only 3 months and I know that each month it is only going to get better and better. Keep your chin up. All you can do is try to encourage her with positive reinforcement and also with the positive things you are doing for yourself now. Take Care Shelley D 9/25/03- Open RYN 236/176/140 Over 25 inches of me gone forever!!! > I had my surgery on 9/29/03 and of course as everyone has, lost a > considerable and noticable amount of weight...my problem(well not a > big problem) deals with people who are overweight(even slightly) that > make comments such as, " I wish I was losing weight like you " or " I am > so fat, I don't know how I am ever going to lose weight " ...the thing > is that although my surgery to this date has been very sucessful, I > don't feel like I should " preach " to anyone, as it was a very mindful > and personal decision. I have one particular person who does this to > me and throughout our lives we have both struggled with weight issues > as we have also tried and failed at many diets together. My best > response so far has been, " well, what do you want to do about your > weight? " She says I want not to be fat, which I am sure we can all > understand. I know that she is scared of the surgery, but is really > unwilling to do anything else. It's like part of me almost feels bad > because I am losing weight and she is not. I think that she is > envious of me and that makes me feel worse, because of course I did > this to live a healthy life and not to flaunt it to anyone, although > I am very proud of myself...(tooting of my own horn). Along with > being proud of myself is a sense of accomplishment, because I have > worked so hard at making this surgery work. > Has anyone else come across an issue such as this? If so, what words > of advice(or whatever) can I say? > Thanks > Hannah > open Rny > 9/29/03 > 288/215/??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 30, 2003 Report Share Posted December 30, 2003 Hannah, We had surgery around the same time. Mine was 9/25/03. I understand how you feel when your friend says things like that. My best friend makes comments that can really hurt my feelings and make me feel guilty. She has said.. " Guess I am the " fat " friend now. " Or " You only have one chin now instead of three " And she makes comments about wanting to lose weight but sits there and stuffs her face with junk food (in front of me) while she is complaining about her weight. I love her to death and would do anything for her but sometimes I just want to smack her to wake her up. The surgery was a personal decision for ME also. I did not do it for the weight issues...I did it to improve my health and rid myself of the Co- morbidities that I was facing. Surgery or any kind of diet is a decision that each individual needs to make on their own. Try not to allow yourself to feel guilty..(even though I know it is hard)...cause your friend has to find her own answer to her weight issues. Whether that is surgery or diets or nothing at all...it is all her decision just as it was your decision to have the surgery and get your life and health back. Never feel guilty for wanting to improve your life and your health! Also, just like you...I did not have the surgery to " flaunt " my new image to people. My goal was to have better health and live longer so that I can be around to see my son become a young man and someday see my grandkids. I want to be able to do things without having to stop and rest every 5 steps. So far I am accomplishing those goals cause my health is already better after only 3 months and I know that each month it is only going to get better and better. Keep your chin up. All you can do is try to encourage her with positive reinforcement and also with the positive things you are doing for yourself now. Take Care Shelley D 9/25/03- Open RYN 236/176/140 Over 25 inches of me gone forever!!! > I had my surgery on 9/29/03 and of course as everyone has, lost a > considerable and noticable amount of weight...my problem(well not a > big problem) deals with people who are overweight(even slightly) that > make comments such as, " I wish I was losing weight like you " or " I am > so fat, I don't know how I am ever going to lose weight " ...the thing > is that although my surgery to this date has been very sucessful, I > don't feel like I should " preach " to anyone, as it was a very mindful > and personal decision. I have one particular person who does this to > me and throughout our lives we have both struggled with weight issues > as we have also tried and failed at many diets together. My best > response so far has been, " well, what do you want to do about your > weight? " She says I want not to be fat, which I am sure we can all > understand. I know that she is scared of the surgery, but is really > unwilling to do anything else. It's like part of me almost feels bad > because I am losing weight and she is not. I think that she is > envious of me and that makes me feel worse, because of course I did > this to live a healthy life and not to flaunt it to anyone, although > I am very proud of myself...(tooting of my own horn). Along with > being proud of myself is a sense of accomplishment, because I have > worked so hard at making this surgery work. > Has anyone else come across an issue such as this? If so, what words > of advice(or whatever) can I say? > Thanks > Hannah > open Rny > 9/29/03 > 288/215/??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2005 Report Share Posted May 2, 2005 I had my son Bryce's boots/bar off this weekend to give him a bath and I didn't realize how much I missed being able to snuggle with him curled up on me. My other son was a snuggler. We only have one more month of the 23/7. I can't wait to be able to sit all day, pretty much, and snuggle with him. I am a teacher so I will have all summer to do this! It's just not the same with his little feet hooked together. Thanks, I just needed to share that thought and vent a little! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2005 Report Share Posted May 2, 2005 Ahhhhh...... things to look forward to. Pam and (8-12-01) > I had my son Bryce's boots/bar off this weekend to give him a bath and > I didn't realize how much I missed being able to snuggle with him > curled up on me. My other son was a snuggler. We only have one more > month of the 23/7. I can't wait to be able to sit all day, pretty > much, and snuggle with him. I am a teacher so I will have all summer > to do this! It's just not the same with his little feet hooked > together. Thanks, I just needed to share that thought and vent a > little! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2005 Report Share Posted May 2, 2005 I am totally with you on the fact it is hard to snuggle with the shoes. I am nursing my daughter and it is not the most comfortable with Abbi's feet ties together. During the day, she has her feet free and it is so wonderful. I just told my husband how I cannot wait until they tell us, the treatment is over. We have a long way to go, but boy am I looking forward to that day. It is not the easiest to deal with this as a first time mother, but at least I have support and if Abbi had to have a birth defect, I will take this one anyday. angmay23 aporter@...> wrote: I had my son Bryce's boots/bar off this weekend to give him a bath and I didn't realize how much I missed being able to snuggle with him curled up on me. My other son was a snuggler. We only have one more month of the 23/7. I can't wait to be able to sit all day, pretty much, and snuggle with him. I am a teacher so I will have all summer to do this! It's just not the same with his little feet hooked together. Thanks, I just needed to share that thought and vent a little! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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