Re: feeling ashamed

[Guest guest]

I totally understand where u are coming from. I want a little girl so bad and

if I had a boy I know I would be disappointed. Even though we should be happy

with what we get especially if we're having a hard time getting pregnant or

have been told that we wont be able to have kids. I believe that God gives u

the desires of your heart and if it doesn't happen for u this go around then it

may just happen later for u. Everything happens for a reason.

[Guest guest]

Iwanted a girl both times but got boys both times. From what I have

learned from friends with little girls, they tell me to be thankful I

have boys. They have all said their daughters dote on their dads

(about 8 friends) and the ones who have boys, have " mommies little

boys " .

" Daddy girl " and " Mommy's boy " theory? when I found out I was having

a boy this last time, I went out and bought a female wienier dog just

so I wouldn't be the only girl in the house. KNow what? she hated

meeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! wouldn't let me pet her or touch her but would

snuggle up to my sons and my husband. Guess who got sold recently? lol

anyway...... I think your feelings of really wanting a baby girl and

not getting one this time are normal. If it persists AFTER you first

see, touch, hold and kiss your baby boy, please talk to your Dr about

possible depression issues. I know that for me, just seeing the

ultrasound and getting to see the heartbeating when we thought we had

a tubal pregnancy changed my life totally around!!

Best wishes!!

[Guest guest]

Don't feel bad my husband cried last week when he found out his most desired

little girl is actually a boy. I on the otherhand was overjoyed and somehow

knew it was a boy...

Little boys are cool. They have trucks and all kinds of neat things. I love my

4 year old son to death and am glad to have another.

Feelings are feelings don't feel badly...just go look at all the cool things

your little boy will get!

Chrystal

Wife to Jace - together 6 Years!

Happy Mommy to - 4 Years Old!

New Baby Boy Swenson Due July 28, 2004!

Zookeeper for 2 big dogs and 5 cats who let me feed them!

http://chrystallife.50megs.com/

http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/seeswensonauctions/

feeling ashamed

hello all,

I'm almost 1 year post op, down 130lbs, and 6 months pregnant with my

first child, the pregnancy has been uneventful thus far and while i'm

happy to be having the child i was told i would never be able to

have,and i'm grateful that my baby is healthy, i found out this

morning that the little girl that i have my heart set on having won't

be coming this time....i'm having a boy...i cried during the

ultrasound, i'm totally ashamed of myself for feeling so

overwhelmingly disappointed, but this is the way i feel....did anyone

else feel this way or is this just another hormone overdose?

p.s. the chinese lunar calendar wasn't accurate for me :@(

Children are a blessing, and a gift from the Lord. -Psalm 127:3

[Guest guest]

I had a similar situation when I had my first pregnancy that we thought would

never happen either. I was prego and really wanted a girl and found out I was

having twins, 2 BOYS, I was very dissappointed at first but I got used to

this and I ended up closer to my boys that i ever thought. I LOVE my little men.

I ended up having a girl later but I did not bond with her like I did my boys

and this time i am pregnant again and it is another boy and I kinda wanted a

girl to even it all out here since it will be my last but when she told me it

was a boy I was disappointed for about a couple minutes then thought about how

I love my boys I have now and I have gotten ssoooo excited that I am having a

boy now and I am ssoo in love with this little man growing inside me. you wil

too, just give it time. Boys are awesome too and you may be surprised again

someday and find a little sister coming for him. i think alot is just hormones

too and plus having your heart set on a girl but you are going to LOVE this

little man, i know you will. Go buy him a couple really cute outfits that you

really love and this will start the bonding, just picture him ( he looks like

you, lol) in those litle outfits cuddlling in your arms and feeding. aawwwww,

he

is precious

God Bless,

Robin, NorthEastern, NY

EDD- July 27th, 2004

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!

Mommy to:

&

(twin boys 7 1/2),

Madison, daughter, 5 years and

Wife to Pup 15 years (October 31, 1988)

Gastric Bypass Surgery-

October 18th 2002

Start-378, current- 246(pregnant)

goal 170 after baby

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I know it's so hard to get one idea in your mind and then you just know in

your heart that things will turn out the way you had hoped....(as in hoping and

really feeling you were going to have a girl)...and then to have everything

take a big turn from what you thought.

Trust me though, when that baby boy is born, you will have the biggest change

of heart and once you get the baby home and he grows from month to

month....year to year, you're not going to be able to imagine your life without

that

little boy. I promise.

During my first pregnancy, I was almost sure I was going to have a girl,

until I had my sonogram at 5 months and it showed a boy. I was a little shocked

at first, but I accepted it and then began imagining him as the person he was

going to be and got so excited.

Now I can't imagine having it any other way. I'm so glad I had my son

first. He's just a total gift and blessing in my life and he was a total joy to

raise as a baby etc. (He's now 14)

During my second pregnancy, I had to go the entire time without finding out

the sex of the baby (we using the military hosptial that time around and they

had a policy of not telling the sex of the baby), so I had no clue what to

expect. Because I had already had a boy and was used to taking care of a boy,

I

had hoped for another boy again.

When my baby was born......she was a GIRL! I was shocked, but totally

fascinated and excited and I loved her just as much. (She's been a bit harder

to

raise....she's almost 12 and going through all the hormone/puberty changes

now....so that's not been a total fun time..LOL) but I wouldn't change anything.

You'll do fine and it's very normal to feel the dissappointment you're

feeling. A small part of it is simply because you had felt so sure it was going

to

go one way and it didn't, so now your mind has to adjust to the changes and

change can be hard, but you'll feel better soon and you'll love that baby boy

just as much as you'd love the baby girl you were hoping for.

I truly believe God gives us the exact baby that's supposed to be with us and

they'll be born on the exact date and time God wants for that baby. As long

as you keep in mind that alot of what happens is out of our control, but that

God knows what he's doing and has a plan, then it makes any dissappointment

or fear begin to diminish. Just know that you're carrying and will give birth

to the baby you're meant to have right now and he will make such a wonderful

difference in your life.

I hope your pregnancy goes very well and that your labor will be a breeze.

I'm due in Oct. with my 3rd child....(and as you can see, we're basically

starting over again since our kids our older......I also have a 20 year old

stepson and a 22 year old step daughter that we raised but are now on their

own.)

This time around I'm hoping for another boy, but I've accepted the idea of a

girl and will be happy either way. I'm still in shock that I'm even pregnant,

but I think this will be my least stressful pregnancy, since it's my 3rd

(despite having the bariatric surgery just a little over a year ago)...

Anyway, I wish you the best and I know you'll just love that little baby boy

more than you can imagine and he's going to love you back just as much!!

Love,

Tonya Gist

[Guest guest]

I dont think I could say anything diff than what has been said

already. I think what you are feeling is normal. I was very worried

yesterday when we went to find out what we were having how I would

react if it were a boy. I think I would have been disappointed until

it sunk in that everything happens for a reason.

Keep your head up.

[Guest guest]

Im in your boat. The two babies in my life (friend's and neighbor's)

were girls. I loved them so much. I used to play with them and take

them out everywhere. I wanted a girl so much. When I got pregnant

(after years of trying with PCOS) I knew from day 1 it was my little

girl . I bought 47 pink outfits. I was so happy. The

18 week ultrasound said it was a girl. YAY! So I settled on a name,

and started calling my tummy . Well, at my 7 month ultrasound

with a high tech machine, my boyfriend joked 'Is it still a

girl? " and I said 'Oh be quiet! Were having a girl and thats that. "

Just then, we saw a little penis on the screen of the ultrasound.

jumped for joy while I cried and cried on the table. I was

truely sad. The tech had this sad look on her face that I still

remember up till now, that is 9mos. I cried hysterically when

we got home. I now look back and feel like an idiot. But I cried for

3 days, cried as I returned the pink outfits, and cried as I stared

at boys names. I felt bad, but in a way I had felt as if I had had a

miscarriage. My little girl that was in my head was no more, and

suddenly this new baby was there and I was nervous. My tech wrote

that I was 'extremely anxious, and fragile' in my file. I was always

treated like I was some psych patient. I look back and laugh.

When I saw my son for the first time I fell in love with him. I feel

more of an idiot that I cried because I wasnt having a girl. Im

grateful that I had A baby, but I know how it feels.. Those pretty

pink dresses are painful to pass up.

You will love your baby, you just need some time to adjust. Pregnancy

emotions are a pain!

Devon

6/10/03 my little dude

[Guest guest]

I am sorry you were so sad about your boy. I have ALWAYS wanted a boy

and my husband always wanted a girl . We are only having one child so

when he found out it was a boy he was dissappointed. He is excited

about the baby now but he says he would have been more excited if

hewas getting the girl he always wanted. and I know if we were having

a girl I would have been a bit upset too. I think it is normal.

Noni

> hello all,

>

> I'm almost 1 year post op, down 130lbs, and 6 months pregnant with

my

> first child, the pregnancy has been uneventful thus far and while

i'm

> happy to be having the child i was told i would never be able to

> have,and i'm grateful that my baby is healthy, i found out this

> morning that the little girl that i have my heart set on having

won't

> be coming this time....i'm having a boy...i cried during the

> ultrasound, i'm totally ashamed of myself for feeling so

> overwhelmingly disappointed, but this is the way i feel....did

anyone

> else feel this way or is this just another hormone overdose?

>

>

>

> p.s. the chinese lunar calendar wasn't accurate for me :@(

[Guest guest]

I cried too when I found out we were having a boy. I felt horrible

for being disappointed, but I was SURE we were having a girl (and all

the lunar calendars said so, though I didn't necessarily believe

them!). But now it's been 4 weeks since my ultrasounds, and I'm so

thrilled that it's a boy. I've really gotten used to the idea, and

it's fun to talk about " our boy " . My husband was so thrilled to be

having a son. Like others have said, all my friends with boys say

there's nothing like a boy's love for his mommy. Please don't feel

ashamed for being disappointed. You are entitled to your feelings!

But I do think you'll warm up to the idea of a boy soon.

Shelley

Dallas, TX

Lap RNY 4/5/01

EDD #1 7/15/04 -- It's a boy!

> hello all,

>

> I'm almost 1 year post op, down 130lbs, and 6 months pregnant with

my

> first child, the pregnancy has been uneventful thus far and while

i'm

> happy to be having the child i was told i would never be able to

> have,and i'm grateful that my baby is healthy, i found out this

> morning that the little girl that i have my heart set on having

won't

> be coming this time....i'm having a boy...i cried during the

> ultrasound, i'm totally ashamed of myself for feeling so

> overwhelmingly disappointed, but this is the way i feel....did

anyone

> else feel this way or is this just another hormone overdose?

>

>

>

> p.s. the chinese lunar calendar wasn't accurate for me :@(