Re: stay at home moms

[Guest guest]

I decided to stay home and I just did cutbacks. I used to spend alot of

money on foolish things and now I very rarely do. It's difficult at first

but you get used to it.

MA

[Guest guest]

I have been at home with my son--now 6--since he was born. It was the best

decision I ever made. I believe that my son would be much more severly

affected if he had not had that one on one attention that he got BEFORE he

was diagnosed. We have one inexpensive but newer car and one hunk of junk.

My husband is a teacher. We live very modestly and NEVER go out(who can

anyway). It is hard, but I don't think the money of working would make our

lives any easier. I can not imagine coordinating all of this if I worked

full time too.(I know many do, and my hat is certainly off to them.) I

believe that if you CAN stay home, you really should. Afterall, no one has

ever said in their old age that they wished they had worked more.

in TX

[Guest guest]

It was hard, but I quit working when was 12 months old. I couldn't

keep a sitter, for one, and I knew something wasn't quite right. Looking

back, I don't regret the move at all. It has been hard living on one

income, but when I figured in the cost for child care, nice clothes,

hosiery, gas, impulsive shopping in the grocery store, it evened out. It

just so happened that one week after I gave my notice, I found out I was

pregnant with my daughter. She was number three, so my decision turned out

to be the only one possible. We had planned on only having two children, so

three made daycare impossible. When was about 18 months old, I started

working a part-time job in a jewelry store, working nights and weekends. I

only worked 20 hours a week, but the money came in handy. However, once we

moved to Madison WI to secure services, I needed to be home full time. I

had worked the part-time job for two years.

Seriously consider the option to stay home. I'm glad I took the plunge. I

plan on going back to work in the fall, but only part time.

a - Madison WI mom to Alec 6.8, 4.11 (ASD/SID/Resolved apraxia),

3.1

> How many moms out there decided to stay home from work after having

> their child diagnosed? I am currently taking a 12 week leave from

> work, debating whether to return after that.

>

> Without my income, we would definitely feel a BIG crunch, but I feel

> if I am home with my son, I will never look back and say " If I only

> would of stayed home with him " . . . .

[Guest guest]

My incredible private SLP is responsible for most of this, and was so

eager to speak, he worked hard. He had mild apraxia, so it was easier for

him to overcome. He never had problems with syllables or single words, but

rather multiple words strung together in sentences. The motor planning of

sentences, consisting of three words or more, was where the difficulty

began. Now he is merely considered language delayed, and not by much. In

fact, he's become good at arguing, and I'm now dealing with a child who is

quite " sassy " . I'm quite greatful, because there was a time when I thought

he would truly never communicate.

a

> a

>

> Thanks for the info. Just curious how you resolved the apraxia (I know it

> is probably a lot of info, but just looking for your key items of

success.)

>

> Thanks

> A Jeffs mom

[Guest guest]

I've been staying home with my kids since my older son was born. I've

never regretted this decision, but it hasn't been easy financially. We

struggle, but make do. Not much left over after buying all the special

foods, supplements, doctors, testing, etc. for extras like hiring a baby

sitter to go out. Now that I have two boys who are both on the diet, I

can't imagine trying to manage their special needs with baby sitters or

day care providers. I'm sure most are wonderful, but I left my little

guy with a good friend (who has her own day care business) who knows that

he eats only his own food - I supplied his lunch and enough stuff for a

couple of snacks and she said that if he fussed too much about wanting

what the other kids were eating, she would let him have that food. I

thought after all this time, she understood that he was NEVER to have

anything but his own foods. Once I explained that he was to eat only

what I brought, it was ok, but it really made me aware of how difficult

it must be to assure that our kids keep to their diets when someone else

is taking care of them.

I haven't tried part time work - I've brought up the idea with my

husband, but he's not crazy about it. I do hope and expect to return to

work once my younger son is in school for a full day. Till then, it's

scrimp, scrimp, scrimp and enjoying every minute of it.

( & Malachi's mom)

[Guest guest]

>The only disadvantage to this is to make sure you have good insurance from

> somewhere, because it's hard to get autistic kids covered by private

> insurance.

Not if you keep the word " autism " or " pdd " out of the doctors records. I

was fortunate to be told by the first person who eval'd my son, to make sure

that those terms were never listed on any insurance claim. I did, and have

never had an insurance hassle. Too bad the doctors aren't wiser to this.

a

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/5/01 5:32:24 PM Eastern Standard Time, bergfam@...

writes:

> ). Our society makes us believe that we have to live

> in the most expensive house we could possibly afford, the best of everything

> (every new gadget for the baby) and the hottest toy out there.

You are exactly right!! So many of my friends say they couldn't possibly

afford to stay home and then they run out and get into their NEW Suburbans!

I always think, " Yeah, if I drove a new Suburban, I couldn't afford to stay

home either. " I just dont need a Suburban. And my son doesn't need to wear

Gymbories. (I once knew a girl who worked at Gymborie(sp?) just so she could

get a discount for her child.)

(NOTE: I am only talking about my friends who could really afford to stay

home. Like my friend whose husband is an engineer. I am NOT talking about

people who are working just to pay bills and eat.)

inTX

[Guest guest]

I stay at home with 4 yo Cassie.

In our case, we really wouldn't be any better off with me working (though

we'd have a house rather than a condo - maybe - and a second car. So much

would be going for outside care for Cassie, and where DO you get good quality

care for any child, never mind an autistic one, and running another car,

better clothes for me, etc.

We do ok. We don't live a luxurious life, don't go out often. We've never

left Cassie

unless it's with family members, and they all live in LA. We have one car

(new,

but the old one had 175,000 miles on it, so we figured it was time to pension

it

off).

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Margaret

[Guest guest]

Laurie,

We have three of us and a medium sized dog in about 1300 square feet. It's

doable but not exactly comfortable.

I grew up in a family of four in what was probably about 1000 square feet. It

was cramped. I had to share a bedroom with my sister. If you HAD a third

bedroom, it was smaller than some closets are now!! Just enough room for a

crib.

I wouldn't describe it as comfortable living. We only had one bathroom.

Imagine

the queues with two teenage girls in the house!

What I can't understand is why the houses are being built with more bedrooms.

In California, they are pushing four and five bedrooms into new homes that

have

around 2000 square feet!!!

Margaret

[Guest guest]

,

My wife (also ) stays home and sure we would make more money with

her in the workforce, but at what cost? We do alright on my income. Maybe

we don't have a brand new house and Suburban, but I honestly feel we're

better off with her spending her time with the children. Taking care of

is nearly a full-time job in and of itself. Especially when you

factor in the diet and all the extra shopping, baking, food prep time etc.

Also, if she worked a job, I'm quite certain our NT daughter, Tori would

suffer because caring for would still have to come first. Now, she

is involved with Tori's skating lessons, Girl Scouts etc. We do have two

children and just because Tori's doesn't have the problems that has,

it doesn't mean she should be ignored. I applaud any duel income couples

out there who can make it work , but I feel we're better off with just one

of us in the workforce.

Pat in Ohio

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/5/01 3:50:01 PM Eastern Daylight Time, wsessing@...

writes:

> How many moms out there decided to stay home from work after having

> > their child diagnosed? I am currently taking a 12 week leave from

> > work, debating whether to return after that.

> >

> > Without my income, we would definitely feel a BIG crunch, but I feel

> > if I am home with my son, I will never look back and say " If I only

> > would of stayed home with him " . . . .

>

>

> I am a medical transcriptionist and I used to work in the office for about

> 8-10 years. After working part time when my first son Sal was born, I

> becamse pregnant only a year later with my second son. Over a year ago I

> started doing my work from home for a typing service. So I still can work

> and stay at home and not worry about child care. My little guy is at home

> with me and Sal is in his special ed school full time during the week. So

> .

[Guest guest]

It is very true. I really feel that if you

can stay home, it is much less stressful.

I never thought I could afford to stay home,

but looking back to the days I worked ( before

kids), we used to spend $800 a month on just

eating out for lunch and dinner. We aren't doing

that anymore. We also drive 2 used cars and live

in a modest home.

Also, why are all the new houses getting SOO

big. Remember in the 50's when a family of four

could comfortably live in 1000 square feet. Now

all the new homes are 3500 square feet ++

Are we all getting bigger????

LAurie

[Guest guest]

Only one question: how do you have your child diagnosed with autism

without having them use autism as the diagnosis code just that once?

Terri

At 11:14 PM 4/6/01 -0400, you wrote:

>In a message dated 4/5/01 11:41:56 PM Eastern Daylight Time, wsessing@...

>writes:

>

>

> > Not if you keep the word " autism " or " pdd " out of the doctors records. I

> > was fortunate to be told by the first person who eval'd my son, to make

> sure

> > that those terms were never listed on any insurance claim. I did, and have

> > never had an insurance hassle. Too bad the doctors aren't wiser to this.

> >

> > a

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>Why is this? What do the insurance co. use as an excuse for nothing covering

>PDD?

>thanks

>Debbie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/5/01 11:41:56 PM Eastern Daylight Time, wsessing@...

writes:

> Not if you keep the word " autism " or " pdd " out of the doctors records. I

> was fortunate to be told by the first person who eval'd my son, to make sure

> that those terms were never listed on any insurance claim. I did, and have

> never had an insurance hassle. Too bad the doctors aren't wiser to this.

>

> a

>

>

>

>

>

Why is this? What do the insurance co. use as an excuse for nothing covering

PDD?

thanks

Debbie

[Guest guest]

Well, I stayed home after my second daughter was born. We didn't know anything

was wrong with then...except that her speech was slow. Now the baby is

almost 2 and is almost 3 1/2 and we have the diagnosis of PDD. It has

been hard being home...missing all the kudos from work and being a professional.

But I've never regretted the decision to stay home. Money is always tight but

that is life.

My thing is wondering about . If I'd stayed home after I had her instead

of going back to work 3 days per week when she was 3 months old, would we have

picked up on the PDD sooner? Maybe even prevented it by interacting with her

more, etc. I know that is crazy...it is biological. But I can't help

wondering.

If you have any chance to stay home, do it. I don't think you will regret it.

Hugs, H Mom to (3 yrs PDD) and (23 months)

[Guest guest]

, please please don't fault yourself for 'diagnosing' your daughter

sooner. She was your first child, and these things can be very subtle. I

am sure you heard 'oh, lots of kids talk late, don't be such a worrier, etc'

like I did. Being a first time mom, you really don't have a templeate of

'normal' to go by. PDD is NOT caused by a lack of interaction, and it is

NOT YOUR FAULT. The important thing to remember is that you are helping her

now, that she is still very young, and your energy must go into looking

forward.

Re: stay at home moms

> Well, I stayed home after my second daughter was born. We didn't know

anything was wrong with then...except that her speech was slow. Now

the baby is almost 2 and is almost 3 1/2 and we have the diagnosis of

PDD. It has been hard being home...missing all the kudos from work and

being a professional. But I've never regretted the decision to stay home.

Money is always tight but that is life.

>

> My thing is wondering about . If I'd stayed home after I had her

instead of going back to work 3 days per week when she was 3 months old,

would we have picked up on the PDD sooner? Maybe even prevented it by

interacting with her more, etc. I know that is crazy...it is biological.

But I can't help wondering.

>

> If you have any chance to stay home, do it. I don't think you will regret

it.

>

> Hugs, H Mom to (3 yrs PDD) and (23 months)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My husband and I, our son, and our 2 cats live in an 1100sf townhome. Most

of the time, like when I am cleaning, it feels too big. I would like less

downstairs living space and one more bedroom. We recently moved and when we

first came here, my son and I lived in a one bedroom apartment while my

husband finished out the semester. I loved it. I could clean the entire

apartment in about an hour!!!!! I miss that! in TX

[Guest guest]

My husband, & I and the 2 boys and 2 cats live in about 1500 square feet,

but with all our junk, it feels small. I would dearly love more space -

a guest room for when his dad comes and vists, which is about 4 times a

year. Right now, we give him our bedroom and sleep on the lumpy hidabed

in our living room. The only thing about the new houses I don't get is

the huge master bedrooms. I've seen some that take up almost 1/2 the top

floor of the house. How much time does anyone spend in their bedroom?

I'd rather have that space for an office or larger bedrooms for the kids.

But, I also agree with everyone. I'm one of 5 kids and when we were

growing up, we never dreamed of living in houses that are so huge these

days. Oh well - such is " progress " .

( & Malachi's mom)

[Guest guest]

Our neurologist used the verbal apraxia code for insurance purposes. F

Re: stay at home moms

> Only one question: how do you have your child diagnosed with autism

> without having them use autism as the diagnosis code just that once?

>

> Terri

>

> At 11:14 PM 4/6/01 -0400, you wrote:

> >In a message dated 4/5/01 11:41:56 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

wsessing@...

> >writes:

> >

> >

> > > Not if you keep the word " autism " or " pdd " out of the doctors records.

I

> > > was fortunate to be told by the first person who eval'd my son, to

make

> > sure

> > > that those terms were never listed on any insurance claim. I did, and

have

> > > never had an insurance hassle. Too bad the doctors aren't wiser to

this.

> > >

> > > a

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >Why is this? What do the insurance co. use as an excuse for nothing

covering

> >PDD?

> >thanks

> >Debbie

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks Lorrie! Guess I'm still in the mourning period. She was just diagnosed

on March 15th. We are putting all our energy into preparing for her first IEP

on April 23rd and getting a homebased ABA program for her (as well as this

diet). That really seems to help with coping. Thanks, and hugs, H

Re: stay at home moms

> Well, I stayed home after my second daughter was born. We didn't know

anything was wrong with then...except that her speech was slow. Now

the baby is almost 2 and is almost 3 1/2 and we have the diagnosis of

PDD. It has been hard being home...missing all the kudos from work and

being a professional. But I've never regretted the decision to stay home.

Money is always tight but that is life.

>

> My thing is wondering about . If I'd stayed home after I had her

instead of going back to work 3 days per week when she was 3 months old,

would we have picked up on the PDD sooner? Maybe even prevented it by

interacting with her more, etc. I know that is crazy...it is biological.

But I can't help wondering.

>

> If you have any chance to stay home, do it. I don't think you will regret

it.

>

> Hugs, H Mom to (3 yrs PDD) and (23 months)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Reg Reynolds

Just out of curiosity, what does this have to do with stay at home moms?

>

> Subject: Re: stay at home moms

>

> Our neurologist used the verbal apraxia code for insurance purposes. F

[Guest guest]

Well in our case, the pediatric dev. specialist that we took our son to told

me that for insurance purposes she would use the dx of static encephalopathy

and right hemiparesis, which he does have. For medicare, to secure

behavioral programming, she used " ASD " . Unfortunately, its up to the parent

to ensure that the docs don't list autism on the insurance forms. I was

lucky to be warned of this by an SLP who first eval'd my son. I got lucky a

second time by going to a specialist that was aware of what the word autism

can do to insurance claims.

a

> Only one question: how do you have your child diagnosed with autism

> without having them use autism as the diagnosis code just that once?

>

> Terri

>

> At 11:14 PM 4/6/01 -0400, you wrote:

> >In a message dated 4/5/01 11:41:56 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

wsessing@...

> >writes:

> >

> >

> > > Not if you keep the word " autism " or " pdd " out of the doctors records.

I

> > > was fortunate to be told by the first person who eval'd my son, to

make

> > sure

> > > that those terms were never listed on any insurance claim. I did, and

have

> > > never had an insurance hassle. Too bad the doctors aren't wiser to

this.

> > >

> > > a

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >Why is this? What do the insurance co. use as an excuse for nothing

covering

> >PDD?

> >thanks

> >Debbie

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

MMacGregor@... wrote:

>In California, they are pushing four and five bedrooms into new homes that

>have around 2000 square feet!!!

We bought one of those two years ago, but it's 15 years old (paper thin walls,

poor grading, lousy construction). Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, 1867 sq.ft.

on

..33 acre in one of the best school districts in California (Poway). Realtors

call

it a " working class neighborhood. "

It cost $300,000.

in Overpriced San Diego