Stacey/frustration

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 01/25/2004 2:46:57 PM Mountain Standard Time,

alaskarss@... writes:

> I get frustrated when my friends complain about the type of food the

> daycare center serves because they only want their child exposed to organic

food.

> When they ask me how I feel about that I'm like, " I can't afford to be that

> choosy - I'm just happy if Zoe eats today " . It is hard to see other people

> take things for granted or get upset over small things. Then, every once in a

> while, someone will smile at me and say " God gave Zoe to you because he knew

> you would take the best care of her. " Then I see kids at the hospital who

> are going to die sooner than later of horrible illnesses and I thank God that

> Zoe only has RSS. I have

> friends who are so extremely blessed in life and have never had to work hard

> for anything and I have friends who have lost a lot in life. I'm not sure

> how it happens - that some people are served more heartache than others. I

> think some days that it is all relative because if we had not been through

what

> we have been through with Zoe maybe the smaller problems in life would seem

> bigger and just as troublesome. I just think of those moms I met this summer

> who had adult kids with RSS and I see that they have survived and raised

> these amazing kids. We can do it too!

>

>

>

> I know what you mean by this...we were told that Xavier was going to die

> before he was born, then we were told he would die right after he was born,

and

> if not, before he turned one. I was so relieved when I found out about RSS,

> that it was " only " RSS, when other people think we " must just be devastated

> to find out that something is wrong " ..if they only knew! It does bother me to

> see people who take things for granted also. I have a friend who is

> pregnant right now, and she still smokes (cigarettes and pot) and is not

worried.

> And I look at her and think, I did not do one thing wrong when I was pregnant,

> and my son has problems, and you are deliberately putting your baby at risk

> for something by doing these things! Maybe I am just sensitive, she and I

> got pregnant the same week a few months ago. But I found out at 8 weeks that

> mine was an ectopic pregnancy when I started bleeding and having severe pain.

> I ended up having emergency surgery where they found out that I had 16 blood

> filled ovarian cysts on top of a (rupturing) 8 week old ectopic pregnancy.

> I went in thinking I was having the ectopic removed, I woke up having been

> cut open like I had had a c-section instead of the laproscopy I had been told

I

> was having, and I had had a complete hysterectomy. I am only 24, so this

> caused JUST a few problems, not to mention losing a baby and never being able

> to have any more. I was kept in the hospital for 5 days, and the night I was

> released, my dad called at 3 in the morning to tell me that my 22 year old

> brother had been killed in a car accident. (This was in November, so it's

been

> a very stressful few months)

> I have been under so much stress with Xavier, and the problems he has, (and

> it was even worse before we had a reason, not knowing, being constantly told

> not to become " attached " (yeah right)...There is no reason that he would die,

> he is perfectly healthy except for being so small! But with the throwing up

> and not knowing, and then the older two kids, my husband works nights (he's

> an airline mechanic, looong hours) I am alone 80% of the time in a town where

> I don't know anyone..then to have surgery like that and then my brother was

> killed..I don't know how to deal with the stress! How do you do it, with all

> the drs. apts. and on and on...there are days that I don't get more than 3

> hours asleep with everything going on, and that is happening more and more. I

> feel overwhelmed!

> Thanks, I just had to vent everyone, sorry!!!

> Jen

> Xavier, 14m 13lbs RSS (?)

> Emerald, 5, Non RSS

> Wyatt, 4, Non RSS