Vicki

[Guest guest]

(((((Vicki))))))

I am so sorry that you are going through all this, without even the

support of the sperm donor. He is sounding very childish about this,

not a grown up at all, and you know, you and your baby would

probably be better off without him. I know it probably doesn't seem

this way right now, but who needs his crap on top of this already?

I am fortunate enough to be in a loving marriage, but I so relate to

the self esteem and weight issues you describe. I lost 104lb between

my surgery May of 2003-Feb 2004 - felt better about myself and all,

but still struggled with my self esteem, even though I got down to

within 10-15 lb of my goal weight. We were given the go ahead to try

and get prego in Feb and lo and behold, miracle upon miracle (I have

had serious fertility issues in the past) we got pregnant on the

first try, my 35th birthday.

Gaining weight has been difficult for me mentally. I lost a bit due

to morning sickness, but have since gained and am where I should be

for weight gain at this stage. In the beginning, every lb I gained

felt like a failure in my heart, even though I KNOW in my head that

I have to gain weight to nourish Jr. I am at 19 wks today, and

though I still tend to beat myself up some when I give in to

cravings, the fact that the scale is going up is easier to accept. I

have to believe that once Jr is out and my body returns to normal,

all those healthy lifestyle changes I made post op will kick in. And

it will for you too, Vicki...

You are a brave lady and I truly hope you have some loving support

in the form of family and friends to help you through this...

Thinking about you,

EDD: Nov 10/04

> Hello group....

> I finally found this group. I had a gastric bypass 7/31/02 and

had a

> pretty uneventful journey for the most part. No complications but

a

> little over a year post op, I had gallbladder problems. No

stones,

> just sludge, so had my gallbladder removed 9/2/03. Once again, no

> problems and I've been doing pretty well since.

> I stopped losing weight about a year or so post op and I know it's

> due to my lack of will power and control!! I kept thinking I

better

> get this under control before I start gaining weight back.

> I started at 311 pounds. When I got sick with my gallbladder

stuff I

> had gotten down to 194. At the time of my Gallbladder surgery I

was

> 199. Now...I'm at 215.

> So, what brings me here? Well...after losing weight, I finally

> started dating. I was having a really great time. I met someone

and

> ended up getting pregnant. I NEVER though I'd ever become a

mother.

> I'm 36 years old, never been married and never been pregnant.

I've

> been sexually active since I was 15 and when I found the urine

test

> to be possitive I was shocked, to say the least. Especially since

> the 'father'had a vasectomy a year ago last April! He has a redo

> scheduled for early July now.

> I had struggled with what to do about this unexpected pregnancy.

> I've always wanted children and I'm the best Aunt. I love kids

and I

> seem to be a magnet to them. But...I'll be 37 in August and I'm

> still single and scared to death about this! I'm still in denial

and

> cannot believe that there's a baby growing inside of my body.

> I have decided to go ahead and have this baby. There must be a

> reason that I became pregnant and, even though I don't understand

it

> right now, I'm sure everything will be fine. I'll adjust and

manage,

> right?

> The 'father' does not want this child. He has two from a previous

> marriage and says he doesn't have the time, energy, or money for

> more. We talked and talked and talked, over and over, about our

> options and he's decided that he's not going to be involved at

all.

> Of course I'm sad about this, but what can I do about it? There's

> many women who do this on their own, right?

> Here's the emotional part about all of this. I know I'm not the

only

> one in this group who's had a low self-esteem problem. I've

> struggled with my weight all my life. I've heard it all: " You

have

> such a pretty face... " Blah, blah, blah. Even after I lost so

much

> weight, I still saw myself as I was. It was very difficult for me

to

> put myself out there and start dating. I never REALLY did it

before

> I lost weight. Then I met this guy. He was NOT my type at all.

> He's very athletic. Only 5'7 " and 13% body fat. I'm 5'3 " and

more

> than 13% body fat! After we met (through speed dating....) and he

> wanted to go out with me I told him that I was not his type and

> didn't think we should. He responded that he didn't know if we

were

> each other's types but that he liked me when he met me and loved

> talking on the phone and he'd still like to go out. So, I decided

> that we'd go out 'as friends' only. Well...we had a great time

and

> then we had a GREAT TIME!!! And now I'm expecting a baby in

January

> 2005. The saddest part about all of this is that after we went

out,

> we had decided to be 'just friends' and then I found out I was

> pregnant. And now, because he's so stressed about our situation,

he

> doesn't want to even talk to me. He said, " I can't eat, sleep and

> I'm so grouchy around my kids and at work that this is just too

much

> for me to deal with. I'm not going to call you and I don't want

you

> to call me unless you're ready to have an abortion. Please don't

> call to tell me what the sex of the baby is, when it's born or

what

> you decide to name it. "

> I'm sorry that I'm going on about all of the drama about this, but

I

> guess I'm hoping that there's someone else out there that's gone

> through this or can relate.

> So...now that I'm pregnant, what do I do?

> I find that if I eat every couple hours, I'm okay. I haven't had

any

> morning sickness that I KNOW of. I guess I feel like I'm just

> nauseated or 'dumping' due to my WLS. Who knows? Has anyone else

> experienced this?

> What about prenatal vitamins? Are they enough with our system?

> Should I be eating every couple hours? I don't want to gain a

whole

> lot of weight with this. That's my BIGGEST concern. I know I'll

> gain a little, but I know I don't HAVE to. I've heard of

overweight

> women losing during pregnancy. Anyone have any advice for me?

> Thanks for any thoughts or advice you all can give me in advance.

>

> Vicki

> Post op 7/31/02 Rou-en-y

> Drs. Waldrep and Suh

> California

> 311/194/215

> due date 1/17/2005

> Vickistown95660 @ yahoo.com