Guest guest Posted July 9, 2004 Report Share Posted July 9, 2004 Dear Kris, Ever since I moved 3500 miles away from my mother almost 6 years ago our relationship has been immensely better....But I must admint she has an opinion on everything. When I got fat it was just diet and exercise....Now she is fat and I say the same thing to her and she realizes what a jerk she was for saying that to me. We were starting the adoption process when we conceived this baby. She was so not happy about that. She said when we conceived...now you'll have another baby and you won't need to adopt. She wanted us to adopt a child at birth but I could not do that. I would be constantly afraid the mother would change her mind and I would have a nervous breakdown. My husband used to fix the computers for Department of Social Services here in Massachusetts and they told us if we ever wanted a child we could have one within a few months. There are over 3500 children that are free for adoption here. They are older and have problems obviously either health or mental issues....They don't take kids away from their parents for no reason. But I feel any child, whether you have it yourself or adopt is going to have some kind of problems. There are no guarantee's. My husband and I plan on adopting after this baby comes and life settles down a bit....We want an older child who can communicate with us and don't care what the race is and this also makes my mom crazy. We also would prefer to adopt a child with siblings....There are so many kids with one, two, or three brothers and sisters all in the system and nobody wants these children! It's sad but I know my mom will treat our adopted children different than our biological children....another good reason that we live so far apart. Don't get me wrong, my mother is a wonderful person in so many ways...but this is a definate issue with us. Chrystal Wife to Jace - together 6 Years! Happy Mommy to - 4 Years Old! Jonas Due July 28, 2004! Zookeeper for 2 big dogs and 6 cats who let me feed them! http://chrystallife.50megs.com/ http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/seeswensonauctions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2004 Report Share Posted July 9, 2004 Chrystal, You seem to have a very healthy outlook on the whole matter. All kids have issues, whether you birthed 'em or not. Our mothers come from a generation ago, when adoption issues were thought of differently. I applaud you for adopting an older child. Our first daughter was adopted at birth, but our second daughter was adopted as an almost-two-year-old with known disabilities. She's actually the sweetest and most well-mannered and least irritating child you could ever possibly meet, and everyone who meets her wants to take her home. She's eight now; she was shaken as an infant and has mild left-sided paralysis and significant learning disabilities, but she IS learning to read already. On the subject of mothers... I became a much calmer person when I began to understand that, while she IS my mother, that I'm an adult just like she is and that she isn't the all-wise, all-knowing person I assumed she was when I was a little kid. She makes mistakes and has a few wrong ideas. I still love her and treat her respectfully, but I don't allow her to make my decisions for me or form my opinions for me. It was a difficult leap to make, because she has always been an extremely dominant force in my life, but once I did it, it was incredibly liberating. -- Kris Wood " I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. " Gilda Radner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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