Guest guest Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 Jan, I have been praying for you. It is such a difficult thing to face. Especially this time of the year. I hope that he (and you)will be able to have a wonderful Christmas. Joanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2005 Report Share Posted December 12, 2005 Dear Jan, I have really tried to call you this weekend, but I've been at the hospital since Thursday p.m. with my Mother. She is having some type of heart problem and they kept her until Sat. pm. Sunday we were back at the ER and today at her regular doctor. We see the heart dr in the morning. Spencer had his Christmas musical tonight at school and we have just walked in the door. I'll try tomorrow.....as tomorrow is another day....Us Southern Belles say that ya know:) Take care sweetie....I do understand about wanting one last Christmas together...you are not selfish! Please don't be so hard on your self. Las week I thought DW had died in our bed one morning. I decided that I would take Spencer onto school and act as if everything was okay and then come back and handle things. I finally got him to wake up and things were okay again for awhile. Just hang tight Sweetie. You are loved on this list by many people and we truly are here for you to let it out on us. Love and Prayers, Lynda R. Duane update Duane and I have had a horrible weekend. Saturday he did not get up at all and I could only get him to eat One yogurt, I have been in a state of fight & flight all weekend along with a large dose of anxiety to go along with it. Very Selfishly I am not ready for this, not that I would ever be but I want to get thru the holidays I want it one last time to make memories and to see him smile at the lights and stuff. I don't want the kids to always associate Christmas with Dads death I know I know its very selfish I am only thinking about me But I am scared and panicked Please Pray for us, thank you Hugs Jan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2005 Report Share Posted December 13, 2005 Oh Jan You have all my sympathy and many of us are thinking of you in this time. You bear the pain of your own fear and loss (already you have suffered great loss), as well as that of the children ... and Duane's. There's nothing bearable about any part of that, and I really do feel terribly sorry for you. Add that to exhaustion and trying to " do it all " and " be it all for the holidays " ... Your wishing to make the holiday's special this year is absolutely understandable, and I'm thinking there will be moments where time stands still, hopefully you will get that smile you are hoping for ... Try not to fall into the guilt trap, it is human to somehow feel guilt for getting exhausted or having needs yourself. It is impossible to utterly put oneself aside at the needs of others 24 hours a day; I pray you can somehow take some time to realize that you are being pretty wonderful right now in doing what you are doing, in feeling what you are feeling and in caring so much about him, and the children ... By fiercely not wanting this to be happening, you are proving you are sane and actually coping emotionally ... I have been there myself, tending someone and looking at them in disbelief and knowing there is nothing I can do to keep the future from happening. I can see such pain in your postings and I'm so sorry it is happening to you, any time of year but especially hard this time of year ... I wish you had a better support system around you, people underrate how important it is just to have mundane help at a time like this. Even if you can get help with family, perhaps there is help in community care, or if you have any religious affiliation there is often help available there with things like meals or house work or even someone to just drop in and be there. It can even sometimes be restful to have a " non-family " person from such a resource, who is there not because of their own emotional needs but just out of a wish to help someone. I will be keeping you in my thoughts -- *********************************************************** Kelta Vineyard --------------------------------- Find your next car at Yahoo! Canada Autos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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