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Betrayal -

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In a message dated 7/18/00 12:07:20 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

MiniGastricBypass (AT) egroups (DOT) com writes:

<< What should I do?? >>

Dear -

First, you might want to bring in , who would straighten them

out instantaneously, which would be very satisfying. Then, you should look

for a new job - I'm only half-kidding here.

The central thing is to regain your own dignity, which your 300 lb. boss

pretty well trashed - and can anyone guess why? Maybe the only thing you can

do - for now - is say to her and your coworkers - " this topic is now

officially closed. Thanks for your concern. " If they persist, leave the

room.

One of my friends - with whom I have a rollercoaster relationship anyway -

did something similar at a party a couple of weeks ago, basically announcing

to the assembled group what my plans were. Fortunately, it was a small

group, made up of very good friends. I was very upset afterwards, and a

friend and I sat and talked it through for several hours, until I felt better

about it. I understand now that this tactless woman is threatened by this

whole matter, because of her own issues with her (increasing) weight.

I believe that there will be at least a couple of people who say tacky things

to me about my surgery, and I'm determined to leave these encounters with my

dignity and my temper intact. I've done so much research and investigation

into WLS surgery by now, that I'm completely convinced that this is the right

step for me. I don't have to convince them. As the saying goes, " the best

revenge is living well " and that's exactly what I plan to do! " Living well "

for me means working out, eating healthily, and having lots more energy! Not

to mention a closetful of great new clothes!!!

I've always felt the need to compensate for my most glaring error - being

large - and am too afraid to confront tactless, unkind people - until they

step so far out of bounds that I just explode, creating an even greater need

to compensate. Vicious circle...I wonder what if I'll change that need to

smooth things over after I've lost this extra weight?

Anyway: I'm sorry that you've had this situation, and I hope that you'll find

a way through it that restores your peace of mind. The most important thing

is to find the people who DO support you in this, and to let them reinforce

you.

Good luck.

Blair

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Dear Blair,

I am sorry to hear that you too had to go thru a similar incident, I am just

continuously amazed by the meaness out there...

I find my comfort here. My husband and I have been together for a lonnnngg

time and I know he's understanding and all...but does not TRULY

understand...

Take care,

>From: BJenk23768@...

>Reply-To: MiniGastricBypass (AT) egroups (DOT) com

>To: MiniGastricBypass (AT) egroups (DOT) com

>Subject: Betrayal -

>Date: Tue, 18 Jul 2000 07:37:54 EDT

>

>In a message dated 7/18/00 12:07:20 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

>MiniGastricBypass (AT) egroups (DOT) com writes:

>

><< What should I do?? >>

>

>Dear -

>

>First, you might want to bring in , who would straighten them

>out instantaneously, which would be very satisfying. Then, you should look

>for a new job - I'm only half-kidding here.

>

>The central thing is to regain your own dignity, which your 300 lb. boss

>pretty well trashed - and can anyone guess why? Maybe the only thing you

>can

>do - for now - is say to her and your coworkers - " this topic is now

>officially closed. Thanks for your concern. " If they persist, leave the

>room.

>

>One of my friends - with whom I have a rollercoaster relationship anyway -

>did something similar at a party a couple of weeks ago, basically

>announcing

>to the assembled group what my plans were. Fortunately, it was a small

>group, made up of very good friends. I was very upset afterwards, and a

>friend and I sat and talked it through for several hours, until I felt

>better

>about it. I understand now that this tactless woman is threatened by this

>whole matter, because of her own issues with her (increasing) weight.

>

>I believe that there will be at least a couple of people who say tacky

>things

>to me about my surgery, and I'm determined to leave these encounters with

>my

>dignity and my temper intact. I've done so much research and investigation

>into WLS surgery by now, that I'm completely convinced that this is the

>right

>step for me. I don't have to convince them. As the saying goes, " the best

>revenge is living well " and that's exactly what I plan to do! " Living

>well "

>for me means working out, eating healthily, and having lots more energy!

>Not

>to mention a closetful of great new clothes!!!

>

>I've always felt the need to compensate for my most glaring error - being

>large - and am too afraid to confront tactless, unkind people - until they

>step so far out of bounds that I just explode, creating an even greater

>need

>to compensate. Vicious circle...I wonder what if I'll change that need to

>smooth things over after I've lost this extra weight?

>

>Anyway: I'm sorry that you've had this situation, and I hope that you'll

>find

>a way through it that restores your peace of mind. The most important

>thing

>is to find the people who DO support you in this, and to let them reinforce

>you.

>

>Good luck.

>

>Blair

>

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>------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

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>

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