Guest guest Posted July 20, 2000 Report Share Posted July 20, 2000 In a message dated 7/20/00 7:34:19 AM Pacific Daylight Time, leigh.gattozzi@... writes: << Hi, I am strugggling with the end of a ten year relationship right now and I'm not doing to well. Imagine losing the one person that understands all you have been through before this surgery. Imagine losing the one and olny person that you really want to share this experience with in every way. I know I did this for myself and no one else, but I never imagined that this would happen, and I can't believe he is not going to be here to help me celebrate the single most important thing I have ever done in my life. I know, he doesn't decerve to share in the experience if he can't take the good with the bad and so on anso on.... I know all of that. I am at a huge loss here and I am not doing too well. Everyone says that this surgery will change you rlife, and it does. It's just that things have changed that I never even considered. I really feel as though I had to give up one hugely inportant part of my life in exchange for this chance of a lifetime, and I am having a hard time accepting that. That's life..... sacrifices and all of that....I didn't see this one coming and I am at such a loss that I can't enjoy my weight loss as much as I should be. I desperately need all of your prayers and your strength to get through this, because right now I feel like I just can't do it alone. I know this probably happened for a reason, but I can't see it right now - and I am so angry and hurt, and really just lost in everything that has happened this year. Leigh MGB 05/12/2000 288/241 >> Hi Leigh, You are so brave to share all this. I can feel your emptiness and sadness. Please remember this VERY TRITE but oh so true saying, as it always gets me through when I feel at a standstill-- This too shall pass, as time heals all.... I fervently believe this and when I have something really difficult to overcome, I just remind myself that there will be a tomorrow and that I will make it. Try and visualize all the bad things you have experienced. Think about how you got past them and what it felt like when you were finally " healed. " This will be the same in this case. BUT, and it's a big but, something will be very different this time. You have the added bonus that now you have achieved control over the one part of your life that has up until 5/12 had complete control over you. Use this for strength. I know it is easy for me to say, and that I am not in your shoes. 10 years is such a long time, and you will mourn. I just want you to know that you can get through this. You put up with years of obesity and the associated horrors, and you went through an amazing and difficult journey to the MGB. Please be strong and know that I will be praying for you. For whatever reason, this relationship that has been so precious to you is coming to an end. There IS someone out there for you. Over and over in my life, I have been shown, through God's grace that when a door is shut, he always opens a window. Pray for the strength to find that opening in the days and months ahead. Regards, Debbie in IL Daughter MGB 8/9 Cigna (3rd appeal)--BMI 45 Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40) ins letter re-sent 7/14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2000 Report Share Posted July 20, 2000 Hi, I am strugggling with the end of a ten year relationship right now and I'm not doing to well. Imagine losing the one person that understands all you have been through before this surgery. Imagine losing the one and olny person that you really want to share this experience with in every way. I know I did this for myself and no one else, but I never imagined that this would happen, and I can't believe he is not going to be here to help me celebrate the single most important thing I have ever done in my life. I know, he doesn't decerve to share in the experience if he can't take the good with the bad and so on anso on.... I know all of that. I am at a huge loss here and I am not doing too well. Everyone says that this surgery will change you rlife, and it does. It's just that things have changed that I never even considered. I really feel as though I had to give up one hugely inportant part of my life in exchange for this chance of a lifetime, and I am having a hard time accepting that. That's life..... sacrifices and all of that....I didn't see this one coming and I am at such a loss that I can't enjoy my weight loss as much as I should be. I desperately need all of your prayers and your strength to get through this, because right now I feel like I just can't do it alone. I know this probably happened for a reason, but I can't see it right now - and I am so angry and hurt, and really just lost in everything that has happened this year. Leigh MGB 05/12/2000 288/241 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2000 Report Share Posted July 20, 2000 Oh, Leigh, you poor lamb. Keep holding on, honey, we'll all be thinking of you and sending good thoughts and good energy your way. You just go on, and wait for when you come out on the other side of the rage and the pain. But until you reach that point, I've found smashing crockery to be very satisfying. Blessed be! --Aimee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2000 Report Share Posted July 20, 2000 Heres' a hug Leigh. Sorry I can't be there to help you through this. Flo not so good >Hi, > I am strugggling with the end of a ten year relationship right >now and I'm not doing to well. Imagine losing the one person that >understands all you have been through before this surgery. Imagine >losing the one and olny person that you really want to share this >experience with in every way. I know I did this for myself and no >one else, but I never imagined that this would happen, and I can't >believe he is not going to be here to help me celebrate the single >most important thing I have ever done in my life. I know, he doesn't >decerve to share in the experience if he can't take the good with the >bad and so on anso on.... I know all of that. I am at a huge loss >here and I am not doing too well. > Everyone says that this surgery will change you rlife, and it >does. It's just that things have changed that I never even >considered. I really feel as though I had to give up one hugely >inportant part of my life in exchange for this chance of a lifetime, >and I am having a hard time accepting that. That's life..... >sacrifices and all of that....I didn't see this one coming and I am >at such a loss that I can't enjoy my weight loss as much as I should >be. I desperately need all of your prayers and your strength to get >through this, because right now I feel like I just can't do it >alone. I know this probably happened for a reason, but I can't see >it right now - and I am so angry and hurt, and really just lost in >everything that has happened this year. > >Leigh >MGB 05/12/2000 >288/241 > > > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Never lose a file again. Protect yourself from accidental deletes, >overwrites, and viruses with @Backup. >Try @Backup it's easy, it's safe, and it's FREE! >Click here to receive 300 MyPoints just for trying @Backup. >http://click.egroups.com/1/6349/3/_/453517/_/964103563/ >------------------------------------------------------------------------ > >This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com >Please visit our web site at http://clos.net >Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm > >To Unsubscribe Send and Email to: MiniGastricBypass-unsubscribe (AT) egroups (DOT) com > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2000 Report Share Posted July 20, 2000 Leigh, Hang in there, and don't doubt any decisions you have made with regards to the MGB. You are going to get through this hard time and you have the support from all of your fellow MGB'ers. I am the spouse of an MGB patient and I can tell you that it was a rough 6 weeks for me, caring on my husband hand & foot. I even wondered how much longer I could put up with everything. It's crazy how many things are affected with this surgery, but the benefits FAR OUTWAY any of the negatives. You know what they say, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON....I'm sure that is the case with your situation. BETTER THINGS ARE COMING YOUR WAY!!! Hang in there and feel free to post any time you need vent... Patti in MD 5/18/00 (Husband) 355/287 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2000 Report Share Posted July 20, 2000 Leigh: I know you don't believe it now, but you are stronger than you realize. You will get through this, and you will come out the other side so much stronger and *yes* in some ways, better. Not saying that you will be better for not being with the other person, but simply life has a way of compensating--another trite but true-- every cloud has a silver lining. I know this from personal experience. As it ends, look for what you gained from that person and from the relationship, not what you're losing. A long-term friend of mine had this exact thing happen to her also. I've known her since 1980 and she's always been large. She never told me her weight until after she had WLS--her heaviest was 424. At the time she had WLS, she had been married over 20 years. She is now divorced. In the past two years she has lost down to 187. I'm so sorry. Feel free to email me if you need to talk with someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2000 Report Share Posted July 20, 2000 Hi Leigh, What a difficult thing to have to go through right now. I am so sorry to hear about your struggle. This surgery is difficult to adjust to for our loved ones. It seems that so many spouses and signifcant others get side tracked by their own insecurities when their mate loses weight. This is very common and something that needs some counseling efforts to understand. Right now it is hard to accept the pain associated with your struggle and loss. It will get better........find someone to talk to.......get some help from a professional. It really helps when you can share your pain with a sympathetic ear. Just remember that you have done the best thing for YOU and you cannot control the actions of another person. They are responsible for their own feelings and actions. Maybe as time goes by the two of you can work things out.......if not, as you said, things happen for a reason. I will pray for you and if you need to talk please call me....817/ 577-0919. Love, Genz leigh.gattozzi@... wrote: > Hi, > I am strugggling with the end of a ten year relationship right > now and I'm not doing to well. Imagine losing the one person that > understands all you have been through before this surgery. Imagine > losing the one and olny person that you really want to share this > experience with in every way. I know I did this for myself and no > one else, but I never imagined that this would happen, and I can't > believe he is not going to be here to help me celebrate the single > most important thing I have ever done in my life. I know, he doesn't > decerve to share in the experience if he can't take the good with the > bad and so on anso on.... I know all of that. I am at a huge loss > here and I am not doing too well. > Everyone says that this surgery will change you rlife, and it > does. It's just that things have changed that I never even > considered. I really feel as though I had to give up one hugely > inportant part of my life in exchange for this chance of a lifetime, > and I am having a hard time accepting that. That's life..... > sacrifices and all of that....I didn't see this one coming and I am > at such a loss that I can't enjoy my weight loss as much as I should > be. I desperately need all of your prayers and your strength to get > through this, because right now I feel like I just can't do it > alone. I know this probably happened for a reason, but I can't see > it right now - and I am so angry and hurt, and really just lost in > everything that has happened this year. > > Leigh > MGB 05/12/2000 > 288/241 > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Never lose a file again. Protect yourself from accidental deletes, > overwrites, and viruses with @Backup. > Try @Backup it's easy, it's safe, and it's FREE! > Click here to receive 300 MyPoints just for trying @Backup. > http://click.egroups.com/1/6349/3/_/453517/_/964103563/ > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > This message is from the Mini-Gastric Bypass Mailing List at Onelist.com > Please visit our web site at http://clos.net > Get the Patient Manual at http://clos.net/get_patient_manual.htm > > To Unsubscribe Send and Email to: MiniGastricBypass-unsubscribe (AT) egroups (DOT) com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2000 Report Share Posted July 20, 2000 DebLaMan@... wrote: > In a message dated 7/20/00 7:34:19 AM Pacific Daylight Time, > leigh.gattozzi@... writes: > > << Hi, > I am strugggling with the end of a ten year relationship right > now and I'm not doing to well. Imagine losing the one person that > understands all you have been through before this surgery. Imagine > losing the one and olny person that you really want to share this > experience with in every way. I know I did this for myself and no > one else, but I never imagined that this would happen, and I can't > believe he is not going to be here to help me celebrate the single > most important thing I have ever done in my life. I know, he doesn't > decerve to share in the experience if he can't take the good with the > bad and so on anso on.... I know all of that. I am at a huge loss > here and I am not doing too well. > Everyone says that this surgery will change you rlife, and it > does. It's just that things have changed that I never even > considered. I really feel as though I had to give up one hugely > inportant part of my life in exchange for this chance of a lifetime, > and I am having a hard time accepting that. That's life..... > sacrifices and all of that....I didn't see this one coming and I am > at such a loss that I can't enjoy my weight loss as much as I should > be. I desperately need all of your prayers and your strength to get > through this, because right now I feel like I just can't do it > alone. I know this probably happened for a reason, but I can't see > it right now - and I am so angry and hurt, and really just lost in > everything that has happened this year. > > Leigh > MGB 05/12/2000 > 288/241 > >> > Hi Leigh, > You are so brave to share all this. I can feel your emptiness and sadness. > Please remember this VERY TRITE but oh so true saying, as it always gets me > through when I feel at a standstill-- > > This too shall pass, as time heals all.... > > I fervently believe this and when I have something really difficult to > overcome, I just remind myself that there will be a tomorrow and that I will > make it. Try and visualize all the bad things you have experienced. Think > about how you got past them and what it felt like when you were finally > " healed. " This will be the same in this case. BUT, and it's a big but, > something will be very different this time. You have the added bonus that > now you have achieved control over the one part of your life that has up > until 5/12 had complete control over you. Use this for strength. I know it > is easy for me to say, and that I am not in your shoes. 10 years is such a > long time, and you will mourn. I just want you to know that you can get > through this. You put up with years of obesity and the associated horrors, > and you went through an amazing and difficult journey to the MGB. Please be > strong and know that I will be praying for you. For whatever reason, this > relationship that has been so precious to you is coming to an end. There IS > someone out there for you. Over and over in my life, I have been shown, > through God's grace that when a door is shut, he always opens a window. Pray > for the strength to find that opening in the days and months ahead. > > Regards, > Debbie in IL > Daughter MGB 8/9 Cigna (3rd appeal)--BMI 45 > Counting on Cigna for Debbie (BMI 40) ins letter re-sent 7/14 Hi Leigh, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. In reading what Debbie said to you above, I saw that she has voiced the thoughts already that I had when I read your post. I have learned through life's very tough experiences that it is true that time does heal. I know that that is not very comforting when you are so close to the moment of the initial pain, but it is true. Hang on! Sometimes I have found that after a devastating experience it was all I could do to just continue to survive, so that is what I did for a while - I just survived. Then would come a day where I could manage something else, like enjoying a movie, or reading a good book, or talking to a friend. Just take little steps when you feel ready for them. Do everything you can manage to do that is comforting to you, that will give your heart a bit of relief from the sadness, hurt, and anger, even if for only a short time at first. But those times will get longer and longer. Lean on all your friends and family - lean on us. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Sara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2000 Report Share Posted July 20, 2000 Leigh...my prayers are with you...Kendra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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