Getting Contacts

[Guest guest]

Great advice Flo !!

I'd like to add my 2 cents in if I may...being a pre-op... I went to the

website, where everyone has their names listed. I personally chose to

email only those in my state, just because I had some travel questions and

for some other reasons I felt I needed to do that for. I sent out 15

requests and had all 15 answered in 24 hours. But I sent out a basic list

of specific questions, and asked for their experiences. It took me only

about 20 min to send emails to all 15. I had absolutely not problem

getting feedback. Also the reason you may not be getting a response sending

it on here is because everyone might be thinking that someone else is

already answering you...Maybe give what I did a try, it sure can't hurt.

:0)

Hope that helped a bit.

>From: kurzawa@...

>Reply-To: MiniGastricBypass (AT) egroups (DOT) com

>To: MiniGastricBypass (AT) egroups (DOT) com

>Subject: Re: Getting Contacts

>Date: Sun, 30 Jul 2000 13:15:52 -0000

>

>Um. I'm a pretty old lady as ladies on this list go. So I'm gonna

>address something that bugs me in as nice a way as I can and do it in

>the way I would if you guys were my kids (and one of you guys is my

>kid).

>

>If you need contacts, the best way to do it is to write to

>individuals and ask them specific questions. Or to ask one general

>question, such as, can you tell me about your MGB experience.

>

>Let me tell you why I say this. If you just post a thingie on the

>list and say you need contacts, you are (without meaning to) dumping

>your responsibilities on folks to come through for you. To be a

>contact you have to sit at your computer, organize your thoughts and

>spend a little time writing to help someone. In the manual, Dr. R

>tells you to make contact with at least ten people who have had

>surgery. What he wants you to do is contact people, not just throw

>out a post and assume that others will carry your ball.

>

>I don't mean to lecture here. It's not my nature as most of you know.

>But if you want to change your life and have this surgery, please

>take some responsibility for that. Please show some personal courtesy

>for that and be polite enough to write to people, on an individual

>basis, and ask them to be your contact. I am always flattered when I

>am asked to be a contact. I NEVER respond to general requests to the

>list for a contact for two reasons: 1. Being fat for 50 years leaves

>you with the feeling that you're not good enough and that no one

>really wants you for a contact and 2. I don't assume others

>responsibilities that are thrown at me. I told my daughter that the

>proper way was to write individually to people...and that's what she

>did. She wrote to 12 people and got 12 contacts back in less than 24

>hours.

>

>I'm stepping down off the soapbox now and hope to hell I don't fall

>on my butt while doing it. You can start throwing the flames now.

>This is not directed at anyone but just a gentle reminder that we all

>have lives and that a little courtesy goes a long way!

>

>Flo

>

>

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>

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[Guest guest]

HELLO,

I JUST SENT MY INFORMATION FORM IN TODAY. I WAS WONDERING

HOW MANY PICTURES DO WE NEED AND HOW CLOSE TO SURGERY

DATE DO THEY WANT THEM TAKEN? THANKS, JOYCE

[Guest guest]

Well, now that I have been totally slapped on the hand

for my rudeness I must say thank you to for

being a contact for me.

First of all, in my defense I must say that I have

sent out 42 personal requests for contacts and their

" story " . I have not received ONE contact from ANY of

those I sent out. Now, keeping in mind that I do not

like to push myself on people and am already having

enough low-self esteem problems, etc. I did not feel

like I should ask someone personally because if they

did not want to share with me, I did not want to put

them on the spot. Besides the fact that it took me

several hours of sending out these messages to have no

replies.

Now, being frustrated because all I need besides my

pics are contacts, I felt the best way to do so was to

post to my " friends " that are on this list.

I have been told this is rude, I accept it and

apologize for it. I guarantee it WILL NOT happen

again. And I hope I can be forgiven and apology

accepted.

Lastly, this is not directed at any ONE person, just

wanted to let you know why I asked in a open forum for contacts.

=====

Krist in AL

5'4 " 288 lbs.

Pre-Op

GROUP 2B

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

In response to those who are looking for contacts now and in the

future, let me tell you my experience. I am sending in my packet

tommorrow after one last medical record comes in the mail. I was very

hesitant about contacting post-ops , because I had read on the list

that they were overwhelmed with requests. I did not want to add to

their stress so I read the lists daily and looked for people who

mentioned in their post that they wouldn't mind being a contact. As

soon as I read that, I would note the time of the post and go to my

daily digest on my email and look at the time it was sent to find

their email address and contact them right away while the willingness

was still fresh. All responded right away, and I didn't feel like I

was bothering them. The only trouble is that most people who post and

are real willing are not that far out of surgery so it is hard to

find out about those from a year or more out. I called those people

on the phone by looking at people on the contact list over 1 year out

and that weighed about the same as I did, everyone was very kind. I

hope this helps other pre-ops. I also didn't contact anyone untill I

was approved for surgery so that I knew it was going to be a reality

for me. I also told everyone that I was approved in my email or on

the phone. Thank you Debbie from Il for telling about writing thank

you notes I am only sorry that I didn't think of it myself. So for

any post op that has a willingness to be a contact maybe you could

mention that in your posts once in a while so the shy ones won't feel

overly intrusive when they email you.

Sincerely

Marjory

P>S> thank you L for mentioning you would be a contact.

> I am a new post-opper(11 days now and 19 pounds!!yippee) and I must

admit that with all of my joy and excitement, I have responded to a

couple of generic calls fro contacts, but I absolutely agree with

Flo!!! When I started doing my research, it took my a couple of days

to write all of my e-mails, but I probably contacted about 23-25

hoping at least 10 would respond. I put thought into each contat,

figuring they had many requets per day, and asked each one a

different question (ie: What can you eat now? What was the WORST part

of surgery?, What was the BEST part? What suggestions do you hvae?

How many other WLS did you look into? How do your friends and family

treat you now that youa re losing weight and they are used to your

previous weight? Any changed in relationships within the workplace?

etc . . I wanted to know it ALL! I recommend that type of a route

because I got SOO much good information back, and it was all

different. I think that's the REASON Dr. R has us contact 10!

> people, so we can gain KNOWLEDGE (as I tell my students; Knowledge

is POWER!) I got replies within a day or so from EVERYONE with the

exception of 1 or 2 people. People DO respond when you show a genuine

interest. A couple fo them actually took the time to call ME on their

own at THEIR expense! It's amazing how people respond when they think

you are concerned. Many of my contacts I still communicate with,

which is important becasue as I am only 11 days pot-op I STILL have

questions, and they have lived through it! Its important to make

human relationships in the process . . don't let the internet take

the personal " touch " out of it!

>

>

> Good luck to all of you pre-oppers out there! I would be happy to

be a contact for you . . just ask! : )

>

> L

> TeacherGator@a...