Guest guest Posted July 30, 2000 Report Share Posted July 30, 2000 I know you guys will love this one! LOL!! Holly > > Women Beware!!! > > Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose > kidneys were stolen while he was passed out-well read on. > While that was an " urban legend " this one is not. > It's happening everyday.... > > My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a > few years ago. It was just that quick. > > I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. > The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have > done such a cruel thing to legs that had been wholly, if > imperfectly, mine for years? Whose thighs were these? What > happened to mine? > > I spent the entire summer looking for them. I searched, in vain, > at pools and beaches, anywhere I might find female limbs exposed. > I became obsessed. I had nightmares filled with cellulite and > flesh that turns to bumps in the night. > > Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life > in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose. Then, just when my guard was down, the > thieves struck again. > > My buns were next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to > match my new derriere (although badly attached at least > three inches lower than the original) to the thighs they had stuck > me with earlier. Now my rear complimented my legs, lump for lump. > Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion. > > It was 2 years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One > morning while fixing my hair, I watched, horrified but fascinated, > as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of > the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being > replaced, cleverly and fiendishly, one section at a time. > > Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age was supposed to creep up, > noticed and intangible, something like maturity. NO, I was being > attacked, repeatedly and without warning. > > During one spring, my attention was riveted to upper arms... female > arms. I studied them from every angle, being careful not to raise > mine in public or flatten them too tightly against my body. > > In private, I held them straight out and did endless circles that > would have tightened my real arms but did nothing for these new > " Silly-Putty " caricatures. > > In the end, in deepening despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could > they do to me next? My eyes began to remind people that they needed > a new pair of Hush Puppies. My poor neck disappeared more quickly > than the Thanksgiving turkey it now reminded me of. > > That's why I've decided to tell my story; I can't take on the > medical profession by myself. Women of America, wake up and smell the > coffee! > That isn't really " plastic " those surgeons are using. You know where > they're getting those replacement parts, don't you? > > The next time you suspect someone has had a face " lifted, " look again! > Was it lifted from you? Check out those tummy tucks and buttocks > raising. Look familiar? Are those your eyelids on that movie star? > > I think I finally may have found my thighs....and I hope Cindy Crawford paid > a really good price for them! > .__________________________. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 30, 2000 Report Share Posted July 30, 2000 In a message dated 7/30/2000 11:48:21 PM Eastern Daylight Time, happygirl0925@... writes: << I know you guys will love this one! LOL!! Holly >> That was hilarious Holly, Thanks!!!!!!!!!!! Cathy in Lenoir, NC 5' 0 " 216.5 Lbs. BMI 42 A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 1, 2000 Report Share Posted August 1, 2000 Oh so true. I am still chuckling on this one thanks for the humor. marg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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