I want PopTarts!

[Guest guest]

School just told me that Tom has been asking for other kids' food at

lunch. They handle it by telling him " We eat our own food " . They are

fine with that, they understand his allergies.

First of all, I'm thrilled he's noticing what other kids eat and

spontaneously requesting it (he has a feeding disorder and doesn't

really like to eat). He used to have to be fed by himself to

minimize distractions and eat enough, but he's been eating together

with the other kids for a few months now, mostly for social practice

(this is an ABA school so all the kids have autism, and meals are an

important part of social skills development).

But really, he's simply NEVER going to get a poptart, or even

anything resembling it. He only tolerated meats and veggies. His

food looks VERY different than the other kids at school. That's just

the way it has to be.

But today at breakfast at home (where we all eat the same food as he

does) he said " I want a PopTart! " I said " We're eating asparagus,

it's your Special Treat! " (which is what he told me at dinner last

night). Then I emphasized that we all eat our own food. He repeated

his request.

I am hoping that if I ignore the requests they will go away (this is

called " extinguishing " a behavior in ABA parlance). But last week in

his integrated preschool he lunged and grabbed another child's

piece of bread and shoved it in his mouth before his aide could

intervene (she retrieved it before he could swallow it).

Does anyone have any ideas how to communicate to a 3 year old with

autism why he can't eat what the other kids do? His tummy doesn't

hurt, that I am aware of, so I can't use that to convince him, and

I'm not sure he'd understand the connection even if I did. His

reactions are all delayed and subtle - it would be hard to persuade

him to not eat food for that reason. And I'm not sure even many

typical 3 years old would buy that argument.

Any ideas?

Suzanne