Birthday Party Delima/ HELP!

[Guest guest]

Hey guys,

Went to pecan bread for birthday solutions. Didn't say much on how

to handle the comments (emotional crap)....about the " strange "

foods... " strange kids " ...... The neighbors and family already have a

understanding about why we are doing this SCDiet...some respect but

not 100%...our son has many friends....we don't expect 100%

understanding just compliance when he is out their house...BUT...

Son wants to have a B-day party AGAIN....feeling a little

overwhlemded by the whole thing. He will be five...at the age where

kids get RUDE and hurtful (and often open up their sweet mouths and

say not so sweet things to each other...about food that isn't

that " sweet " !)...he has already been hurt by their comments

(everyone is getting old enough to realize how " strange " WE

are.......so young to be having to learn such a tough lesson. Heck

it is hard for his parents (dealing with others) and we are in our

late thirties! Other parents are a pain to cope with!

These are his freinds (that I might add eat at Mcs and fast

food a minimum of one to two times a week.........eat cookies, candy

and pop every day.......and he doesn't want to feel wierd

anymore....but he is different....or they are

different...anyhow...there is a difference.... and I don't know how

to help him deal with it. My husband and I on the most part where

out casts (different)way before the SCD diet...As parents we do't

have any coping skills to share from childhood experience. WE both

hated Birthday parties...social gatherings...and avoided them with a

vengence!

Last years B-day party was a food flop...this is when we thought it

was " just " about Celiac Disease and " gluten free foods " ...it was

difficult (very expensive GF/CF cupcakes all around the table half

eaten and wasted...hot dogs without buns...feared that KiKI would

eat a crumb if we used gluten buns/that's all it will take with

her...a lousy crumb). This years party when we pull out the SCD

treats and foods this years party....God help us.....or God help the

trash can! Almost can't stand the thought of it.....so $ to have

this happen again! At least will be behaving better...none of

that crazy " bully " behavior.

KiKI will be two this May also....she is still so " shy " that a party

would be traumatic still...won't go that route! Her first Birthday

we put a candle in a papaya...and celebrated it alone...She couldn't

do grain and dairy......so we thought.....now we know it wasn't...it

was the starches, sugar and a true allergy to gluten (any

how)....Grandparents always expect to see her. Yet at every get

together...this becomes a night mare and very stressful for

all...everyone thinks that she doesn't like them.....they give all

the attention to Bubbles...who acts like a normal baby......and

then ...KiKI looks so sad (wants to interact but her " brain " won't

let her)..... emotionaly shuts down and " disappears " and is just

miserabel!.....that night we usualy have delerium/sizures......

NOBODY WANTS TO ADMIT ASD EITHER!!!! This doesn't help...heck they

don't even want to admit the doctor confirmed Celiac Disease in all

of us! Maybe DAN will help to validate....then they will just think

he is a quack...they take this so personal...an insult to the family

GENES! God forbid that our genes may be screwed! ANY HOW.....

....have a plan: two visits between the two couples/grandparents

(less overwhelming to someone with ASD)....hoping that they

don't " look " at her and " talk " to her too much...or she will

disappear on us again...she is doing better but not that well

yet!....when she " disappears " , she wants nurse the entire time...AT

TWO YEARS OLD...we try to keep this a secret...they don't understand

this eather...nursed son until 40 months old when he naturaly

weanted. I end up stairs where I feel me " captive " , trying to get

her to become " grounded " enough to rejoin the get together! Cries

otherwise non stop........or forces herslef into a stress induced

sleep! It is horrible...I hate holidays and company! Maybe someday

we will all be " normal " ! Tired of feelin isolated and captive! It

has just been a few weeks ago that she could tolerate going to the

store and playing in the front yard with the nieghbors!

Sorry so long...had to explain....

Any ideas...?

Sincerely, Antoinette

(SCD entire family day 41/CD,DH,multiple sensitivity,

ADd,ADHD,ASD..and so much more!)