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<< I found hurt feelings, running out of breath, and

constant torturing of myself that next Monday for sure I would REALLY go on

a diet and

change my life. 50 years worth of Mondays came and went. I lost and gained.

I lost and

gained. >>

Dear ,

Flo puts it so eloquently. All that wasted time - years and years! - of

wanting the elusive thinness, and never being able to attain it. I've

achieved a number of other goals, professionally and personally, but I've

raised thinness to sacred levels. THAT'S unhealthy.

I don't want to be fashion model thin. I just want to walk into a party, or

a school meeting, or church, or wherever, and not be so self-conscious. I

want to exercise without feeling dangerously winded after 5 minutes. I don't

want that feeling of despair in stores, in packing for a trip, in taking a

trip, to be reminded, over and over, that I weigh 270 pounds, and that I wear

26's and 28's, and that there ain't a lot to chose from in those sizes.

As Flo said, welcome home. This is the right place to share about your

weight, your hopes and your fears.

Best wishes from

Blair

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