Redefining Relationships

August 9, 2003

,

You wrote, " am worried that at some point I may not be able to be a " normal "

Mom to him.. is it still possible for me to be the type of Mom that I want to

be? "

That is the key, , you are going to need to redefine " normal " and do

some soul searching on coming to terms with what mothering is. There are a lot

of things that we do as " mothers " that are perfectly able to be done by

someone else, reserving our energy for those things that cannot be substituted

by

anyone else. What are those? Those are as individual as there are mothers. As

my disease has progressed, I redefined my relationship to my children and

grandchildren, a second and third time. There is always one underlying constant,

one unremitting factor, and that is my love. One of the most important things

children need from their mothers is to know that they are important and what

they do matters. We can still provide the foundation for their integrity and

character. I have found that since I cannot do the running around that I used to

do raising three children and seven grandchildren, that I actually have become

closer, on a different level, because I spend more quiet time with them, and

give them my time, my undivided attention, I give them ears that listen, and a

heart that cares. The loss is felt by myself, more than the children. I have

to step out of my own selfishness and rather than resenting others who can do

things with my children that I cannot, I try and find gratitude that I have

these people in my life and that they are so willing to help.

Karyn E. , RN,

Exec. Director, PAI

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