RE: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!

[Guest guest]

Mandy, thanks! It does feel great. Took a long time, but has been so worth

it. I hope to apply these things to my quest with food.

I've heard others talk of being sabotaged by friends, family. Yes, there is

truly a jealousy that you're doing this for yourself. Yesterday had an

email from a fellow GB friend. She'd been in town with a friend that kept

trying to get her to eat something. The friend then insisted on going to a

particular hamburger place, which would not have been good for the GB

friend. Upon more insistence, and driving quite a distance, the friend

wolfed down 2 big hamburgers, then tried to get the GB friend to eat the

last bite. I could hear the frustration in her email, that this friend just

doesn't get it, does not hear anything you're saying. I guess it goes back

to many of our roots, that food is comfort, food is friendly, that you want

someone else to enjoy it. I've got my resolve up, because I know I'll be

faced with this at some point, and politely let them know " NO " . I figure

even though they feel they're helping you, they aren't. If they can't hear

your words when you say " NO " , and the fact that you've told them many times

what you need and don't need, I won't even hear them after that. Way too

many years of not being heard, makes me cautious of those that don't think

of what is right for you, and try bulldozing you over, even in the name of

love. I know this is different for everyone, but for me this will work.

Okay, that's it, felt good to get it out! On my way to the movies and have

a good time.

Joan

LAP RNY 11/18/03

Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA

282pre-op/275surg/243/140

Re: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!

In a message dated 12/23/2003 8:50:27 AM Pacific Standard Time,

jclinton@... writes:

> I guess in one way these 2 things are alike.....to get past

> them you have to acknowledge it first, then work very hard, and most of

all

> protect and love yourself!!

>

that is soooooooooo powerful !!! They are linked Joan. And heavens,

that

you have been able to make peace with your parent in denial... and allow

them

their illusion... this is HUGE ..

this is soooooooooooo huge....I am floored by your introspection and

personal

power.

Bravo!!.... really ... BRAVO Joan.... know that someone who " knows " .. has

today aknowleged you inner strength !!!!

Skinny Wishes from Mandy in CA

[Guest guest]

Wow I can't imagine a friend doing that!!! I guess I am lucky because my

friends are super supportive and always ask and are never offended if I say

" Not on my program " . My MIL is so sweet. We are going to her house for

Christmas day Dinner. We don't do a sit down because there are so many of

us. So she called and said she had fresh shrimp for me and a variety of

cheeses and sugar free Angel food Cake with fresh fruit and wanted to know

if there was anything that would be more to my liking. I said No of course

that all of those things would be perfect.

But you know what I realized and I don't know why I never thought about it

before....all of my friends and family are thin and healthy. So I guess

they want me there with them instead of fat and unhealthy. I guess people

act this way when they don't want to lose their fat friends? Is that it?

Candi

Re: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!

In a message dated 12/23/2003 8:50:27 AM Pacific Standard Time,

jclinton@... writes:

> I guess in one way these 2 things are alike.....to get past

> them you have to acknowledge it first, then work very hard, and most

of

all

> protect and love yourself!!

>

that is soooooooooo powerful !!! They are linked Joan. And heavens,

that

you have been able to make peace with your parent in denial... and allow

them

their illusion... this is HUGE ..

this is soooooooooooo huge....I am floored by your introspection and

personal

power.

Bravo!!.... really ... BRAVO Joan.... know that someone who " knows " ..

has

today aknowleged you inner strength !!!!

Skinny Wishes from Mandy in CA

[Guest guest]

Wow I can't imagine a friend doing that!!! I guess I am lucky because my

friends are super supportive and always ask and are never offended if I say

" Not on my program " . My MIL is so sweet. We are going to her house for

Christmas day Dinner. We don't do a sit down because there are so many of

us. So she called and said she had fresh shrimp for me and a variety of

cheeses and sugar free Angel food Cake with fresh fruit and wanted to know

if there was anything that would be more to my liking. I said No of course

that all of those things would be perfect.

But you know what I realized and I don't know why I never thought about it

before....all of my friends and family are thin and healthy. So I guess

they want me there with them instead of fat and unhealthy. I guess people

act this way when they don't want to lose their fat friends? Is that it?

Candi

Re: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!

In a message dated 12/23/2003 8:50:27 AM Pacific Standard Time,

jclinton@... writes:

> I guess in one way these 2 things are alike.....to get past

> them you have to acknowledge it first, then work very hard, and most

of

all

> protect and love yourself!!

>

that is soooooooooo powerful !!! They are linked Joan. And heavens,

that

you have been able to make peace with your parent in denial... and allow

them

their illusion... this is HUGE ..

this is soooooooooooo huge....I am floored by your introspection and

personal

power.

Bravo!!.... really ... BRAVO Joan.... know that someone who " knows " ..

has

today aknowleged you inner strength !!!!

Skinny Wishes from Mandy in CA

[Guest guest]

Candi, I'm at a loss to figure out why this particular surgery and our body

transformations cause problems with some friends and family. I'm so happy

for you to have wonderful, supportive friends and family. It really makes

all the difference in the world. I think some people just want to care for

you, some are jealous, and some just don't understand. I'm sure this group

could come up with many other reasons.

Have a wonderful Christmas. I know you will as you host understands you

need to watch what you eat, and has done so nicely in making sure you're

included. A great friend?/family member?

Joan

LAP RNY 11/18/03

Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA

282pre-op/275surg/243/140

Re: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!

In a message dated 12/23/2003 8:50:27 AM Pacific Standard Time,

jclinton@... writes:

> I guess in one way these 2 things are alike.....to get past

> them you have to acknowledge it first, then work very hard, and most

of

all

> protect and love yourself!!

>

that is soooooooooo powerful !!! They are linked Joan. And

heavens,

that

you have been able to make peace with your parent in denial... and

allow

them

their illusion... this is HUGE ..

this is soooooooooooo huge....I am floored by your introspection and

personal

power.

Bravo!!.... really ... BRAVO Joan.... know that someone who " knows " ..

has

today aknowleged you inner strength !!!!

Skinny Wishes from Mandy in CA

[Guest guest]

Candi, I'm at a loss to figure out why this particular surgery and our body

transformations cause problems with some friends and family. I'm so happy

for you to have wonderful, supportive friends and family. It really makes

all the difference in the world. I think some people just want to care for

you, some are jealous, and some just don't understand. I'm sure this group

could come up with many other reasons.

Have a wonderful Christmas. I know you will as you host understands you

need to watch what you eat, and has done so nicely in making sure you're

included. A great friend?/family member?

Joan

LAP RNY 11/18/03

Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA

282pre-op/275surg/243/140

Re: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!

In a message dated 12/23/2003 8:50:27 AM Pacific Standard Time,

jclinton@... writes:

> I guess in one way these 2 things are alike.....to get past

> them you have to acknowledge it first, then work very hard, and most

of

all

> protect and love yourself!!

>

that is soooooooooo powerful !!! They are linked Joan. And

heavens,

that

you have been able to make peace with your parent in denial... and

allow

them

their illusion... this is HUGE ..

this is soooooooooooo huge....I am floored by your introspection and

personal

power.

Bravo!!.... really ... BRAVO Joan.... know that someone who " knows " ..

has

today aknowleged you inner strength !!!!

Skinny Wishes from Mandy in CA

[Guest guest]

It is my Mother in Law Joan. She is really sweet. She loves to feed

people. She will not be happy if I don't eat so she just makes sure I can

eat. She will also have some veg with no butter or anything on it. She is

very into healthy eating but during Christmas and Thanksgiving she does add

on the fat.

My MIL and FIL are 80 and 84 respectively and they go to the gym 6 days a

week and my FIL plays basketball three days a week as well. They are in

super health and I was nervous about telling them about the surgery. But

they were totally excited and have been 100% supportive.

Candi

Re: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!

In a message dated 12/23/2003 8:50:27 AM Pacific Standard Time,

jclinton@... writes:

> I guess in one way these 2 things are alike.....to get past

> them you have to acknowledge it first, then work very hard, and

most

of

all

> protect and love yourself!!

>

that is soooooooooo powerful !!! They are linked Joan. And

heavens,

that

you have been able to make peace with your parent in denial... and

allow

them

their illusion... this is HUGE ..

this is soooooooooooo huge....I am floored by your introspection and

personal

power.

Bravo!!.... really ... BRAVO Joan.... know that someone who " knows "

...

has

today aknowleged you inner strength !!!!

Skinny Wishes from Mandy in CA

[Guest guest]

It is my Mother in Law Joan. She is really sweet. She loves to feed

people. She will not be happy if I don't eat so she just makes sure I can

eat. She will also have some veg with no butter or anything on it. She is

very into healthy eating but during Christmas and Thanksgiving she does add

on the fat.

My MIL and FIL are 80 and 84 respectively and they go to the gym 6 days a

week and my FIL plays basketball three days a week as well. They are in

super health and I was nervous about telling them about the surgery. But

they were totally excited and have been 100% supportive.

Candi

Re: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!

In a message dated 12/23/2003 8:50:27 AM Pacific Standard Time,

jclinton@... writes:

> I guess in one way these 2 things are alike.....to get past

> them you have to acknowledge it first, then work very hard, and

most

of

all

> protect and love yourself!!

>

that is soooooooooo powerful !!! They are linked Joan. And

heavens,

that

you have been able to make peace with your parent in denial... and

allow

them

their illusion... this is HUGE ..

this is soooooooooooo huge....I am floored by your introspection and

personal

power.

Bravo!!.... really ... BRAVO Joan.... know that someone who " knows "

...

has

today aknowleged you inner strength !!!!

Skinny Wishes from Mandy in CA

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/24/2003 7:39:30 AM Pacific Standard Time,

jclinton@... writes:

> She's 102 now.

102???.... unbelievable ... wonderful ... wow

Skinny wishes from Mandy in CA

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/24/2003 7:39:30 AM Pacific Standard Time,

jclinton@... writes:

> She's 102 now.

102???.... unbelievable ... wonderful ... wow

Skinny wishes from Mandy in CA

[Guest guest]

Candi, I'm so happy to hear about your support. It is so wonderful.

Sometimes we only hear about the bad.

And MIL and FIL, fantastic at their age!!! My grandmother was still walking

5 miles a day at 80, but started getting dizzy and fell a few times and had

to quit. She's 102 now. We have the most wonderful 5 generation picture

with her.

Joan

LAP RNY 11/18/03

Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA

282pre-op/275surg/243/140

RE: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!

[Guest guest]

Candi, I'm so happy to hear about your support. It is so wonderful.

Sometimes we only hear about the bad.

And MIL and FIL, fantastic at their age!!! My grandmother was still walking

5 miles a day at 80, but started getting dizzy and fell a few times and had

to quit. She's 102 now. We have the most wonderful 5 generation picture

with her.

Joan

LAP RNY 11/18/03

Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA

282pre-op/275surg/243/140

RE: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!

[Guest guest]

Hey living to 102 is a big big deal!!! I look forward to that now...living

a long life. I hope it happens for me as well.

Candi

RE: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!

[Guest guest]

Hey living to 102 is a big big deal!!! I look forward to that now...living

a long life. I hope it happens for me as well.

Candi

RE: Calling all 5 week post-oppers!