Hello - New here and need some words of encouragement.

December 27, 2003

Hi everyone!

My name is Sunny and I've been lurking for quite a while now and

finally summoned up the nerve to introduce myself. My surgery (open

RNY) is scheduled for January 6 and I'm so scared that I think I've

been in denial about the whole thing. I was prepared to go through

hoops trying to get approved but it was so fast and easy that I

didn't even have time to blink and, before I knew it, I had a

surgery date.

I have two young daughters (2 and 6) and am terrified at the thought

of dying and leaving them to grow up without a mother. Yet,

everytime I look in the mirror, climb the stairs or try to sit on

the floor (and then get up off the floor) I know that I cannot go on

like this. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and

wonder how I ever let myself get so overweight that surgery is the

only alternative left. I try not to think about my upcoming surgery

but the closer it gets, the more scared I am. I can't even finish

this post without crying...am I doing the right thing?

December 27, 2003