Guest guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 Barbara Jean: I like your thinking. I'll try it. Fay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 Barbara Jean: I like your thinking. I'll try it. Fay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 , I am almost a year post abdominal reconstruction and I know exactly what you mean. Believe me, what you are feeling is SO normal. What I did do is look at myself in the mirror every chance I get. I still sometimes go through my wardrobe and check the sizes. I weigh myself at least once a day. If I am walking by a store window or a store camera, I make sure I look at myself. Sometimes I go to a store and try on a size I can't believe I wear, just to see if it fits. (it always does). It's almost like learning something in a class. If I go over it and repeat it often enough, it eventually sinks in. I make sure I am at least sometimes around friends who knew me when I was big. I look at my thin friends and realize that I really AM one of them. Sometimes I even ask them what size they wear. A few weeks ago I went shopping with a friend who I worked with when I was bigger. She was the smallest person in our work team. It never occured to me to wish I was as thin as she was. I found that I can actually wear a size SMALLER than she can in some things. Another thing I have learned from being in therapy, is that if you want to feel a certain way (for instance you want to feel happy when you are actually miserable), just pretend you are. It actually works. When I was in my late 20's I still didn't have a driver's license because I just knew I would never be able to drive. I was scared and clumsy, and no matter how many lessons I took I flunked my driving test. Finally, I took lessons from a man who understood my problem very well. He started chatting with me about his children, as if it were really safe to do s with me in the driver's seat. I thought, " well, if he thinks I can drive, maybe I can. I think I'll sit here and pretend I know how to drive, just to see how it feels. Well, it worked! In no time at all I forgot I couldn't drive. Even now (30 years later), I sometimes use this technique in other ways, and it works like a charm. " I'll just pretend I'm thin and see how it feels. " " I'll just pretend I'm calm, cool and collected and maybe no one will notice how nervous I am. " Okay, I'm off my soapbox. Didn't mean to make this so long. Good luck and be patient with yourself. You ARE thin! BarbaraJean distal from 300 to 128 Feeling Like a Fraud Evening, all, I am 13 months post WLS. I was wondering how long it takes before I stop feeling like a fraud? I feel like I'm an impostor, masquerading as a normal person. I check my pants size at least once a day, convinced it will change from 8 back to 26 at any moment. Is this crazy? When will I stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? in San Diego Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 , I am almost a year post abdominal reconstruction and I know exactly what you mean. Believe me, what you are feeling is SO normal. What I did do is look at myself in the mirror every chance I get. I still sometimes go through my wardrobe and check the sizes. I weigh myself at least once a day. If I am walking by a store window or a store camera, I make sure I look at myself. Sometimes I go to a store and try on a size I can't believe I wear, just to see if it fits. (it always does). It's almost like learning something in a class. If I go over it and repeat it often enough, it eventually sinks in. I make sure I am at least sometimes around friends who knew me when I was big. I look at my thin friends and realize that I really AM one of them. Sometimes I even ask them what size they wear. A few weeks ago I went shopping with a friend who I worked with when I was bigger. She was the smallest person in our work team. It never occured to me to wish I was as thin as she was. I found that I can actually wear a size SMALLER than she can in some things. Another thing I have learned from being in therapy, is that if you want to feel a certain way (for instance you want to feel happy when you are actually miserable), just pretend you are. It actually works. When I was in my late 20's I still didn't have a driver's license because I just knew I would never be able to drive. I was scared and clumsy, and no matter how many lessons I took I flunked my driving test. Finally, I took lessons from a man who understood my problem very well. He started chatting with me about his children, as if it were really safe to do s with me in the driver's seat. I thought, " well, if he thinks I can drive, maybe I can. I think I'll sit here and pretend I know how to drive, just to see how it feels. Well, it worked! In no time at all I forgot I couldn't drive. Even now (30 years later), I sometimes use this technique in other ways, and it works like a charm. " I'll just pretend I'm thin and see how it feels. " " I'll just pretend I'm calm, cool and collected and maybe no one will notice how nervous I am. " Okay, I'm off my soapbox. Didn't mean to make this so long. Good luck and be patient with yourself. You ARE thin! BarbaraJean distal from 300 to 128 Feeling Like a Fraud Evening, all, I am 13 months post WLS. I was wondering how long it takes before I stop feeling like a fraud? I feel like I'm an impostor, masquerading as a normal person. I check my pants size at least once a day, convinced it will change from 8 back to 26 at any moment. Is this crazy? When will I stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? in San Diego Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 In a message dated 3/27/03 12:08:19 AM US Eastern Standard Time, lsmith@... writes: > Evening, all, > I am 13 months post WLS. I was wondering how long it takes before I stop > feeling like a fraud? > It took me about a year at my final weight. So, not quite 2 years postop. Then I had plastics and got to go through it all over again!! hugs, Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 In a message dated 3/27/03 12:08:19 AM US Eastern Standard Time, lsmith@... writes: > Evening, all, > I am 13 months post WLS. I was wondering how long it takes before I stop > feeling like a fraud? > It took me about a year at my final weight. So, not quite 2 years postop. Then I had plastics and got to go through it all over again!! hugs, Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 Well ...........according to some that I talk to .......NEVER!! It has actually " evolved " for me in the last couple of years. Originally I felt like a fraud mentally......now I feel like a fraud " physically " too. I used to just " think " that " if people only knew that I am really a MO person " .........now I am back to thinking that I actually still look like one. I can see how anorexics and bulimics get started.. P. Feeling Like a Fraud > Evening, all, > I am 13 months post WLS. I was wondering how long it takes before I stop > feeling like a fraud? I feel like I'm an impostor, masquerading as a > normal person. I check my pants size at least once a day, convinced it > will change from 8 back to 26 at any moment. Is this crazy? When will I > stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? > > in San Diego > > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 Well ...........according to some that I talk to .......NEVER!! It has actually " evolved " for me in the last couple of years. Originally I felt like a fraud mentally......now I feel like a fraud " physically " too. I used to just " think " that " if people only knew that I am really a MO person " .........now I am back to thinking that I actually still look like one. I can see how anorexics and bulimics get started.. P. Feeling Like a Fraud > Evening, all, > I am 13 months post WLS. I was wondering how long it takes before I stop > feeling like a fraud? I feel like I'm an impostor, masquerading as a > normal person. I check my pants size at least once a day, convinced it > will change from 8 back to 26 at any moment. Is this crazy? When will I > stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? > > in San Diego > > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 : I noticed my reflection somewhere the other day and realized I finally recognized myself and that is the size that I am. It's taken about four years for me. I hope like hell it's the last size I have to " learn. " in Austin RNY April 1998 ----- Original Message ----- > I am 13 months post WLS. I was wondering how long it takes before I stop > feeling like a fraud? I feel like I'm an impostor, masquerading as a > normal person. I check my pants size at least once a day, convinced it > will change from 8 back to 26 at any moment. Is this crazy? When will I > stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? > > in San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 : I noticed my reflection somewhere the other day and realized I finally recognized myself and that is the size that I am. It's taken about four years for me. I hope like hell it's the last size I have to " learn. " in Austin RNY April 1998 ----- Original Message ----- > I am 13 months post WLS. I was wondering how long it takes before I stop > feeling like a fraud? I feel like I'm an impostor, masquerading as a > normal person. I check my pants size at least once a day, convinced it > will change from 8 back to 26 at any moment. Is this crazy? When will I > stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? > > in San Diego Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 I'm a little over 2 years post-op and thought that I had the image problem just about licked when up jumps the devil and I discover that I still think that I'm MO. The other day my trainer introduced me to a piece of equipment that I've never used before. You stand on this plate, there are pads that hit just the back of your legs, your abs are against pads and your whole body is at an angle (I think around 45 degrees, but I'm not good with angles), you lean forward and then use your back muscles to pull your self up. I got on the darn thing, began to lean forward and was absolutely convinced that my weight would topple the whole thing and I would pitch forward onto the floor on my face. My trainer had an awful time convincing me that I was not too fat use this piece of equipment! So it seems that I'm still not comfortable with the whole size thing. Alice The Loon RNY 12/28/00 Same with me. I'm right at five years post op. This past year I seem to have finally merged my mental image with the physical one. judy in austin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 I'm a little over 2 years post-op and thought that I had the image problem just about licked when up jumps the devil and I discover that I still think that I'm MO. The other day my trainer introduced me to a piece of equipment that I've never used before. You stand on this plate, there are pads that hit just the back of your legs, your abs are against pads and your whole body is at an angle (I think around 45 degrees, but I'm not good with angles), you lean forward and then use your back muscles to pull your self up. I got on the darn thing, began to lean forward and was absolutely convinced that my weight would topple the whole thing and I would pitch forward onto the floor on my face. My trainer had an awful time convincing me that I was not too fat use this piece of equipment! So it seems that I'm still not comfortable with the whole size thing. Alice The Loon RNY 12/28/00 Same with me. I'm right at five years post op. This past year I seem to have finally merged my mental image with the physical one. judy in austin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 In a message dated 3/26/03 11:08:06 PM Central Standard Time, lsmith@... writes: << When will I stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? >> I'm almost 3 years out and still feel that way. I've gotten used to seeing a thin person in the mirror, but I still FEEL like a fat person. Beth Houston, TX VBG - Dr. Srungaram 05/31/00 - 314 lbs. 11/01/02 - Abdominoplasty 11/29/02 - 160 lbs. 5'10 " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 In a message dated 3/26/03 11:08:06 PM Central Standard Time, lsmith@... writes: << When will I stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? >> I'm almost 3 years out and still feel that way. I've gotten used to seeing a thin person in the mirror, but I still FEEL like a fat person. Beth Houston, TX VBG - Dr. Srungaram 05/31/00 - 314 lbs. 11/01/02 - Abdominoplasty 11/29/02 - 160 lbs. 5'10 " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 Four years out and I still feel like a fraud. is always wondering why I will take the long way around something then try to go down a narrow isle. It is because in my HEAD I wouldn't fit down that isle. Physically...I probably do fit. I just can't bring myself to try. I still order XL when I only need a L or sometimes a Medium. My brain just doesn't GET it! Debbie in Gig Harbor (170cm medial) ladybostons@... http://www.cafeshops.com/copsstore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 Four years out and I still feel like a fraud. is always wondering why I will take the long way around something then try to go down a narrow isle. It is because in my HEAD I wouldn't fit down that isle. Physically...I probably do fit. I just can't bring myself to try. I still order XL when I only need a L or sometimes a Medium. My brain just doesn't GET it! Debbie in Gig Harbor (170cm medial) ladybostons@... http://www.cafeshops.com/copsstore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 Yeah, but you're a willowy blond, remember??? Some days I feel incredibly fat, but others I feel pretty normal. I do have to stop for a double take when I pass a store window or something though. And when I'm taking clothes out of the dryer, there's NO way that those teeny tiny little jeans are going to cover my great big fat old butt. Somehow they do though. I do associate more with fat people than thin people. That's where I feel most like an imposter. We moved to Florida a year ago, so my new neighbors have never known the MO me, only the " normal sized " me and they just accept me as I am. Socializing with all these thin women is very strange and I find myself gravitating towards the heavier people in the group even though I get along and have more in common with the thinner ones. ------------------------------------------------ Terry Mayers 5DollarHosting.comR http://www.5dollarhosting.com (877)-838-HOST / .... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! R Re: Feeling Like a Fraud In a message dated 3/26/03 11:08:06 PM Central Standard Time, lsmith@... writes: << When will I stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? >> I'm almost 3 years out and still feel that way. I've gotten used to seeing a thin person in the mirror, but I still FEEL like a fat person. Beth Houston, TX VBG - Dr. Srungaram 05/31/00 - 314 lbs. 11/01/02 - Abdominoplasty 11/29/02 - 160 lbs. 5'10 " Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 Yeah, but you're a willowy blond, remember??? Some days I feel incredibly fat, but others I feel pretty normal. I do have to stop for a double take when I pass a store window or something though. And when I'm taking clothes out of the dryer, there's NO way that those teeny tiny little jeans are going to cover my great big fat old butt. Somehow they do though. I do associate more with fat people than thin people. That's where I feel most like an imposter. We moved to Florida a year ago, so my new neighbors have never known the MO me, only the " normal sized " me and they just accept me as I am. Socializing with all these thin women is very strange and I find myself gravitating towards the heavier people in the group even though I get along and have more in common with the thinner ones. ------------------------------------------------ Terry Mayers 5DollarHosting.comR http://www.5dollarhosting.com (877)-838-HOST / .... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! R Re: Feeling Like a Fraud In a message dated 3/26/03 11:08:06 PM Central Standard Time, lsmith@... writes: << When will I stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? >> I'm almost 3 years out and still feel that way. I've gotten used to seeing a thin person in the mirror, but I still FEEL like a fat person. Beth Houston, TX VBG - Dr. Srungaram 05/31/00 - 314 lbs. 11/01/02 - Abdominoplasty 11/29/02 - 160 lbs. 5'10 " Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 Barbara Jean, You reminded me of something I learned in a physiology psych class in college: if you smile, even when you don't mean it, endorphins (I think it was those) are released and they do make you feel good. in other words, our bodies release chemicals, etc, based on our positions so when we " fake " it, eventually we actually do feel better. Thanks for the reminder. I also check out mirrors and weigh myself daily. Eventually it will sink in. Thanks. in San Diego Barbara wrote: >, > >I am almost a year post abdominal reconstruction and I know exactly what you mean. Believe me, what you are feeling is SO normal. > >What I did do is look at myself in the mirror every chance I get. I still sometimes go through my wardrobe and check the sizes. I weigh myself at least once a day. If I am walking by a store window or a store camera, I make sure I look at myself. Sometimes I go to a store and try on a size I can't believe I wear, just to see if it fits. (it always does). It's almost like learning something in a class. If I go over it and repeat it often enough, it eventually sinks in. > >I make sure I am at least sometimes around friends who knew me when I was big. I look at my thin friends and realize that I really AM one of them. Sometimes I even ask them what size they wear. A few weeks ago I went shopping with a friend who I worked with when I was bigger. She was the smallest person in our work team. It never occured to me to wish I was as thin as she was. I found that I can actually wear a size SMALLER than she can in some things. > >Another thing I have learned from being in therapy, is that if you want to feel a certain way (for instance you want to feel happy when you are actually miserable), just pretend you are. It actually works. > >When I was in my late 20's I still didn't have a driver's license because I just knew I would never be able to drive. I was scared and clumsy, and no matter how many lessons I took I flunked my driving test. Finally, I took lessons from a man who understood my problem very well. He started chatting with me about his children, as if it were really safe to do s with me in the driver's seat. > >I thought, " well, if he thinks I can drive, maybe I can. I think I'll sit here and pretend I know how to drive, just to see how it feels. Well, it worked! In no time at all I forgot I couldn't drive. Even now (30 years later), I sometimes use this technique in other ways, and it works like a charm. " I'll just pretend I'm thin and see how it feels. " " I'll just pretend I'm calm, cool and collected and maybe no one will notice how nervous I am. " > >Okay, I'm off my soapbox. Didn't mean to make this so long. Good luck and be patient with yourself. You ARE thin! > >BarbaraJean >distal >from 300 to 128 > > Feeling Like a Fraud > > > Evening, all, > I am 13 months post WLS. I was wondering how long it takes before I stop > feeling like a fraud? I feel like I'm an impostor, masquerading as a > normal person. I check my pants size at least once a day, convinced it > will change from 8 back to 26 at any moment. Is this crazy? When will I > stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? > > in San Diego > > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2003 Report Share Posted March 27, 2003 Barbara Jean, You reminded me of something I learned in a physiology psych class in college: if you smile, even when you don't mean it, endorphins (I think it was those) are released and they do make you feel good. in other words, our bodies release chemicals, etc, based on our positions so when we " fake " it, eventually we actually do feel better. Thanks for the reminder. I also check out mirrors and weigh myself daily. Eventually it will sink in. Thanks. in San Diego Barbara wrote: >, > >I am almost a year post abdominal reconstruction and I know exactly what you mean. Believe me, what you are feeling is SO normal. > >What I did do is look at myself in the mirror every chance I get. I still sometimes go through my wardrobe and check the sizes. I weigh myself at least once a day. If I am walking by a store window or a store camera, I make sure I look at myself. Sometimes I go to a store and try on a size I can't believe I wear, just to see if it fits. (it always does). It's almost like learning something in a class. If I go over it and repeat it often enough, it eventually sinks in. > >I make sure I am at least sometimes around friends who knew me when I was big. I look at my thin friends and realize that I really AM one of them. Sometimes I even ask them what size they wear. A few weeks ago I went shopping with a friend who I worked with when I was bigger. She was the smallest person in our work team. It never occured to me to wish I was as thin as she was. I found that I can actually wear a size SMALLER than she can in some things. > >Another thing I have learned from being in therapy, is that if you want to feel a certain way (for instance you want to feel happy when you are actually miserable), just pretend you are. It actually works. > >When I was in my late 20's I still didn't have a driver's license because I just knew I would never be able to drive. I was scared and clumsy, and no matter how many lessons I took I flunked my driving test. Finally, I took lessons from a man who understood my problem very well. He started chatting with me about his children, as if it were really safe to do s with me in the driver's seat. > >I thought, " well, if he thinks I can drive, maybe I can. I think I'll sit here and pretend I know how to drive, just to see how it feels. Well, it worked! In no time at all I forgot I couldn't drive. Even now (30 years later), I sometimes use this technique in other ways, and it works like a charm. " I'll just pretend I'm thin and see how it feels. " " I'll just pretend I'm calm, cool and collected and maybe no one will notice how nervous I am. " > >Okay, I'm off my soapbox. Didn't mean to make this so long. Good luck and be patient with yourself. You ARE thin! > >BarbaraJean >distal >from 300 to 128 > > Feeling Like a Fraud > > > Evening, all, > I am 13 months post WLS. I was wondering how long it takes before I stop > feeling like a fraud? I feel like I'm an impostor, masquerading as a > normal person. I check my pants size at least once a day, convinced it > will change from 8 back to 26 at any moment. Is this crazy? When will I > stop feeling like a fat person in a normal body that is not me? > > in San Diego > > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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