Guest guest Posted November 21, 2004 Report Share Posted November 21, 2004 Hi , I feel for you I went through a similar situation with my live-in boyfriend. I finally just gave up and did what I could myself. Fortunatly my mother stayed with me the first 3 days. On the fourth day when my mother was gone. he made himself a frozen pizza and sat down to eat without even asking if I wanted something. Believe me it was easier to do what I could than rely on him.It sucks but it is true. Of course there are no children involved on this end. Good luck, and hopefully your husband will at least pull his weight with the kids and the house and you can focus your energy on healing. Come here to vent when you need to. Marsha > > Hey all I am 4 days post op (surgery Nov. 17) and doing as well as > can be expected, I think. I spent 1 night in the hospital after > surgery and I definately think it should have been a least 2 days. > I did really well the first 24 hours and then it all went down > hill. The next 24 hours were not so good. The pain meds made me > vomit and thanks to this site I did not panic, I just leaned > forward. Then of course I got behind on eating and pain meds so we > called the OS and he fixed everthing and now I am doing well. I of > course am swollen and more so on my right side. > > My husband has been very wonderful about taking care of me until > today and he snapped. Yelling at the dog yelling at the kids and I > know it's hard but suck it up. I think something he wishes I was > the one taking care of him, but let me tell you it is not all rosy > on this side. So now I will not be asking him for anything else and > I will do it all myself. Like tonight I fixed myself mashed > potatoes, but after I got finished making them I wasn't hungry any > more, so I put them in the fridge for another day. sorry to vent, > but I cannot imagine what he is going through is worst, is it? I > asked him why all the anger and he told me he felt like a grunt. I > will tell you I tell my husband thank you EVERYTIME he brings my > anything. What else can I do?? > > hope everyone else is doing well,I saw 2 post ops from Nov. 18th and > I'm glad they are doing well. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 21, 2004 Report Share Posted November 21, 2004 Hi , I feel for you I went through a similar situation with my live-in boyfriend. I finally just gave up and did what I could myself. Fortunatly my mother stayed with me the first 3 days. On the fourth day when my mother was gone. he made himself a frozen pizza and sat down to eat without even asking if I wanted something. Believe me it was easier to do what I could than rely on him.It sucks but it is true. Of course there are no children involved on this end. Good luck, and hopefully your husband will at least pull his weight with the kids and the house and you can focus your energy on healing. Come here to vent when you need to. Marsha > > Hey all I am 4 days post op (surgery Nov. 17) and doing as well as > can be expected, I think. I spent 1 night in the hospital after > surgery and I definately think it should have been a least 2 days. > I did really well the first 24 hours and then it all went down > hill. The next 24 hours were not so good. The pain meds made me > vomit and thanks to this site I did not panic, I just leaned > forward. Then of course I got behind on eating and pain meds so we > called the OS and he fixed everthing and now I am doing well. I of > course am swollen and more so on my right side. > > My husband has been very wonderful about taking care of me until > today and he snapped. Yelling at the dog yelling at the kids and I > know it's hard but suck it up. I think something he wishes I was > the one taking care of him, but let me tell you it is not all rosy > on this side. So now I will not be asking him for anything else and > I will do it all myself. Like tonight I fixed myself mashed > potatoes, but after I got finished making them I wasn't hungry any > more, so I put them in the fridge for another day. sorry to vent, > but I cannot imagine what he is going through is worst, is it? I > asked him why all the anger and he told me he felt like a grunt. I > will tell you I tell my husband thank you EVERYTIME he brings my > anything. What else can I do?? > > hope everyone else is doing well,I saw 2 post ops from Nov. 18th and > I'm glad they are doing well. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 if i didn't have my mom i don't know what i would have done. my sister took my then 10 month old baby for the first week, thank GOD, then mom helped out a LOT. i am a single mom, so no husband to pitch in. It really took me a while to get the energy i needed to LIVE, (cook, clean, take care of a busy, busy baby, shop, etc) Do what you can, but let stuff GO. housekeeping was the first for me. you will not die, it actually felt pretty good, being the type A that i am, i had a good excuse! Best in healing, stay positive. > > Hey all I am 4 days post op (surgery Nov. 17) and doing as well as > can be expected, I think. I spent 1 night in the hospital after > surgery and I definately think it should have been a least 2 days. > I did really well the first 24 hours and then it all went down > hill. The next 24 hours were not so good. The pain meds made me > vomit and thanks to this site I did not panic, I just leaned > forward. Then of course I got behind on eating and pain meds so we > called the OS and he fixed everthing and now I am doing well. I of > course am swollen and more so on my right side. > > My husband has been very wonderful about taking care of me until > today and he snapped. Yelling at the dog yelling at the kids and I > know it's hard but suck it up. I think something he wishes I was > the one taking care of him, but let me tell you it is not all rosy > on this side. So now I will not be asking him for anything else and > I will do it all myself. Like tonight I fixed myself mashed > potatoes, but after I got finished making them I wasn't hungry any > more, so I put them in the fridge for another day. sorry to vent, > but I cannot imagine what he is going through is worst, is it? I > asked him why all the anger and he told me he felt like a grunt. I > will tell you I tell my husband thank you EVERYTIME he brings my > anything. What else can I do?? > > hope everyone else is doing well,I saw 2 post ops from Nov. 18th and > I'm glad they are doing well. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 if i didn't have my mom i don't know what i would have done. my sister took my then 10 month old baby for the first week, thank GOD, then mom helped out a LOT. i am a single mom, so no husband to pitch in. It really took me a while to get the energy i needed to LIVE, (cook, clean, take care of a busy, busy baby, shop, etc) Do what you can, but let stuff GO. housekeeping was the first for me. you will not die, it actually felt pretty good, being the type A that i am, i had a good excuse! Best in healing, stay positive. > > Hey all I am 4 days post op (surgery Nov. 17) and doing as well as > can be expected, I think. I spent 1 night in the hospital after > surgery and I definately think it should have been a least 2 days. > I did really well the first 24 hours and then it all went down > hill. The next 24 hours were not so good. The pain meds made me > vomit and thanks to this site I did not panic, I just leaned > forward. Then of course I got behind on eating and pain meds so we > called the OS and he fixed everthing and now I am doing well. I of > course am swollen and more so on my right side. > > My husband has been very wonderful about taking care of me until > today and he snapped. Yelling at the dog yelling at the kids and I > know it's hard but suck it up. I think something he wishes I was > the one taking care of him, but let me tell you it is not all rosy > on this side. So now I will not be asking him for anything else and > I will do it all myself. Like tonight I fixed myself mashed > potatoes, but after I got finished making them I wasn't hungry any > more, so I put them in the fridge for another day. sorry to vent, > but I cannot imagine what he is going through is worst, is it? I > asked him why all the anger and he told me he felt like a grunt. I > will tell you I tell my husband thank you EVERYTIME he brings my > anything. What else can I do?? > > hope everyone else is doing well,I saw 2 post ops from Nov. 18th and > I'm glad they are doing well. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 Hi , Sorry to hear about your husband! Hopefully it was just a bad moment and that things will get better. Just do what is necessary to get by and focus as much on yourself as possible! Glad to hear that you're on track as far as your pain meds though. Take care of yourself and keep us posted on how you're doing! Matilda > > Hey all I am 4 days post op (surgery Nov. 17) and doing as well as > can be expected, I think. I spent 1 night in the hospital after > surgery and I definately think it should have been a least 2 days. > I did really well the first 24 hours and then it all went down > hill. The next 24 hours were not so good. The pain meds made me > vomit and thanks to this site I did not panic, I just leaned > forward. Then of course I got behind on eating and pain meds so we > called the OS and he fixed everthing and now I am doing well. I of > course am swollen and more so on my right side. > > My husband has been very wonderful about taking care of me until > today and he snapped. Yelling at the dog yelling at the kids and I > know it's hard but suck it up. I think something he wishes I was > the one taking care of him, but let me tell you it is not all rosy > on this side. So now I will not be asking him for anything else and > I will do it all myself. Like tonight I fixed myself mashed > potatoes, but after I got finished making them I wasn't hungry any > more, so I put them in the fridge for another day. sorry to vent, > but I cannot imagine what he is going through is worst, is it? I > asked him why all the anger and he told me he felt like a grunt. I > will tell you I tell my husband thank you EVERYTIME he brings my > anything. What else can I do?? > > hope everyone else is doing well,I saw 2 post ops from Nov. 18th and > I'm glad they are doing well. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 Hi , Sorry to hear about your husband! Hopefully it was just a bad moment and that things will get better. Just do what is necessary to get by and focus as much on yourself as possible! Glad to hear that you're on track as far as your pain meds though. Take care of yourself and keep us posted on how you're doing! Matilda > > Hey all I am 4 days post op (surgery Nov. 17) and doing as well as > can be expected, I think. I spent 1 night in the hospital after > surgery and I definately think it should have been a least 2 days. > I did really well the first 24 hours and then it all went down > hill. The next 24 hours were not so good. The pain meds made me > vomit and thanks to this site I did not panic, I just leaned > forward. Then of course I got behind on eating and pain meds so we > called the OS and he fixed everthing and now I am doing well. I of > course am swollen and more so on my right side. > > My husband has been very wonderful about taking care of me until > today and he snapped. Yelling at the dog yelling at the kids and I > know it's hard but suck it up. I think something he wishes I was > the one taking care of him, but let me tell you it is not all rosy > on this side. So now I will not be asking him for anything else and > I will do it all myself. Like tonight I fixed myself mashed > potatoes, but after I got finished making them I wasn't hungry any > more, so I put them in the fridge for another day. sorry to vent, > but I cannot imagine what he is going through is worst, is it? I > asked him why all the anger and he told me he felt like a grunt. I > will tell you I tell my husband thank you EVERYTIME he brings my > anything. What else can I do?? > > hope everyone else is doing well,I saw 2 post ops from Nov. 18th and > I'm glad they are doing well. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 Hi all, thanks for the support. My husband has gotton better, I guess it was just a bad time for him and he lost it. I was trying to do everything for myself last night and he was always offering to help, so that's good. I feel like I'm getting a little better every day. I see my OS today for the 2nd time after surgery. The first visit was not fun, because they cleaned my mouth out. I have a feeling they will be doing the same thing this time, but I will be taking my pain meds about 30 minutes before, so hopefully that will help. the swelling seems like it's going down everyday (very slowingly of course). I of course am still numbed from under my eyes to the top of my lip. Just like to say I bruised a little under my eyes and down my neck but it was a very faded yellow color and I would have to attribute that to taking arnica before the surgery, because I am usually a bruiser (black, blue, green) and I wasn't this time. So any pre- surgery people reading a would suggest taking arnica if you are a bruiser. > > > > Hey all I am 4 days post op (surgery Nov. 17) and doing as well as > > can be expected, I think. I spent 1 night in the hospital after > > surgery and I definately think it should have been a least 2 days. > > I did really well the first 24 hours and then it all went down > > hill. The next 24 hours were not so good. The pain meds made me > > vomit and thanks to this site I did not panic, I just leaned > > forward. Then of course I got behind on eating and pain meds so we > > called the OS and he fixed everthing and now I am doing well. I of > > course am swollen and more so on my right side. > > > > My husband has been very wonderful about taking care of me until > > today and he snapped. Yelling at the dog yelling at the kids and I > > know it's hard but suck it up. I think something he wishes I was > > the one taking care of him, but let me tell you it is not all rosy > > on this side. So now I will not be asking him for anything else > and > > I will do it all myself. Like tonight I fixed myself mashed > > potatoes, but after I got finished making them I wasn't hungry any > > more, so I put them in the fridge for another day. sorry to vent, > > but I cannot imagine what he is going through is worst, is it? I > > asked him why all the anger and he told me he felt like a grunt. I > > will tell you I tell my husband thank you EVERYTIME he brings my > > anything. What else can I do?? > > > > hope everyone else is doing well,I saw 2 post ops from Nov. 18th > and > > I'm glad they are doing well. > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 Hi all, thanks for the support. My husband has gotton better, I guess it was just a bad time for him and he lost it. I was trying to do everything for myself last night and he was always offering to help, so that's good. I feel like I'm getting a little better every day. I see my OS today for the 2nd time after surgery. The first visit was not fun, because they cleaned my mouth out. I have a feeling they will be doing the same thing this time, but I will be taking my pain meds about 30 minutes before, so hopefully that will help. the swelling seems like it's going down everyday (very slowingly of course). I of course am still numbed from under my eyes to the top of my lip. Just like to say I bruised a little under my eyes and down my neck but it was a very faded yellow color and I would have to attribute that to taking arnica before the surgery, because I am usually a bruiser (black, blue, green) and I wasn't this time. So any pre- surgery people reading a would suggest taking arnica if you are a bruiser. > > > > Hey all I am 4 days post op (surgery Nov. 17) and doing as well as > > can be expected, I think. I spent 1 night in the hospital after > > surgery and I definately think it should have been a least 2 days. > > I did really well the first 24 hours and then it all went down > > hill. The next 24 hours were not so good. The pain meds made me > > vomit and thanks to this site I did not panic, I just leaned > > forward. Then of course I got behind on eating and pain meds so we > > called the OS and he fixed everthing and now I am doing well. I of > > course am swollen and more so on my right side. > > > > My husband has been very wonderful about taking care of me until > > today and he snapped. Yelling at the dog yelling at the kids and I > > know it's hard but suck it up. I think something he wishes I was > > the one taking care of him, but let me tell you it is not all rosy > > on this side. So now I will not be asking him for anything else > and > > I will do it all myself. Like tonight I fixed myself mashed > > potatoes, but after I got finished making them I wasn't hungry any > > more, so I put them in the fridge for another day. sorry to vent, > > but I cannot imagine what he is going through is worst, is it? I > > asked him why all the anger and he told me he felt like a grunt. I > > will tell you I tell my husband thank you EVERYTIME he brings my > > anything. What else can I do?? > > > > hope everyone else is doing well,I saw 2 post ops from Nov. 18th > and > > I'm glad they are doing well. > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 He was probably just tired, and fussy, and something set him off. And he was probably also worried about YOU! (I personally believe that sitting in a hospital waiting room while one you love has surgery is among the most exhausting and hellacious experiences on earth...) Glad things are going better for you. > > Hi all, thanks for the support. My husband has gotton better, I > guess it was just a bad time for him and he lost it. I was trying > to do everything for myself last night and he was always offering to > help, so that's good. > > I feel like I'm getting a little better every day. I see my OS > today for the 2nd time after surgery. The first visit was not fun, > because they cleaned my mouth out. I have a feeling they will be > doing the same thing this time, but I will be taking my pain meds > about 30 minutes before, so hopefully that will help. > > the swelling seems like it's going down everyday (very slowingly of > course). I of course am still numbed from under my eyes to the top > of my lip. > > Just like to say I bruised a little under my eyes and down my neck > but it was a very faded yellow color and I would have to attribute > that to taking arnica before the surgery, because I am usually a > bruiser (black, blue, green) and I wasn't this time. So any pre- > surgery people reading a would suggest taking arnica if you are a > bruiser. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 He was probably just tired, and fussy, and something set him off. And he was probably also worried about YOU! (I personally believe that sitting in a hospital waiting room while one you love has surgery is among the most exhausting and hellacious experiences on earth...) Glad things are going better for you. > > Hi all, thanks for the support. My husband has gotton better, I > guess it was just a bad time for him and he lost it. I was trying > to do everything for myself last night and he was always offering to > help, so that's good. > > I feel like I'm getting a little better every day. I see my OS > today for the 2nd time after surgery. The first visit was not fun, > because they cleaned my mouth out. I have a feeling they will be > doing the same thing this time, but I will be taking my pain meds > about 30 minutes before, so hopefully that will help. > > the swelling seems like it's going down everyday (very slowingly of > course). I of course am still numbed from under my eyes to the top > of my lip. > > Just like to say I bruised a little under my eyes and down my neck > but it was a very faded yellow color and I would have to attribute > that to taking arnica before the surgery, because I am usually a > bruiser (black, blue, green) and I wasn't this time. So any pre- > surgery people reading a would suggest taking arnica if you are a > bruiser. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 Ugliest story I've heard about this kind of thing was the husband who, while his wife was still wired shut, with a splint, after upper and lower, came in one night, into the bedroom, bringing his plate of steak and corn on the cob, and sat down to enjoy it in front of her. I'd have killed him. She didn't. And I think he was just oblivious... not really meaning to be cruel, just totally unaware. Cammie > > > > Hey all I am 4 days post op (surgery Nov. 17) and doing as well as > > can be expected, I think. I spent 1 night in the hospital after > > surgery and I definately think it should have been a least 2 days. > > I did really well the first 24 hours and then it all went down > > hill. The next 24 hours were not so good. The pain meds made me > > vomit and thanks to this site I did not panic, I just leaned > > forward. Then of course I got behind on eating and pain meds so we > > called the OS and he fixed everthing and now I am doing well. I of > > course am swollen and more so on my right side. > > > > My husband has been very wonderful about taking care of me until > > today and he snapped. Yelling at the dog yelling at the kids and I > > know it's hard but suck it up. I think something he wishes I was > > the one taking care of him, but let me tell you it is not all rosy > > on this side. So now I will not be asking him for anything else > and > > I will do it all myself. Like tonight I fixed myself mashed > > potatoes, but after I got finished making them I wasn't hungry any > > more, so I put them in the fridge for another day. sorry to vent, > > but I cannot imagine what he is going through is worst, is it? I > > asked him why all the anger and he told me he felt like a grunt. I > > will tell you I tell my husband thank you EVERYTIME he brings my > > anything. What else can I do?? > > > > hope everyone else is doing well,I saw 2 post ops from Nov. 18th > and > > I'm glad they are doing well. > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 22, 2004 Report Share Posted November 22, 2004 Ugliest story I've heard about this kind of thing was the husband who, while his wife was still wired shut, with a splint, after upper and lower, came in one night, into the bedroom, bringing his plate of steak and corn on the cob, and sat down to enjoy it in front of her. I'd have killed him. She didn't. And I think he was just oblivious... not really meaning to be cruel, just totally unaware. Cammie > > > > Hey all I am 4 days post op (surgery Nov. 17) and doing as well as > > can be expected, I think. I spent 1 night in the hospital after > > surgery and I definately think it should have been a least 2 days. > > I did really well the first 24 hours and then it all went down > > hill. The next 24 hours were not so good. The pain meds made me > > vomit and thanks to this site I did not panic, I just leaned > > forward. Then of course I got behind on eating and pain meds so we > > called the OS and he fixed everthing and now I am doing well. I of > > course am swollen and more so on my right side. > > > > My husband has been very wonderful about taking care of me until > > today and he snapped. Yelling at the dog yelling at the kids and I > > know it's hard but suck it up. I think something he wishes I was > > the one taking care of him, but let me tell you it is not all rosy > > on this side. So now I will not be asking him for anything else > and > > I will do it all myself. Like tonight I fixed myself mashed > > potatoes, but after I got finished making them I wasn't hungry any > > more, so I put them in the fridge for another day. sorry to vent, > > but I cannot imagine what he is going through is worst, is it? I > > asked him why all the anger and he told me he felt like a grunt. I > > will tell you I tell my husband thank you EVERYTIME he brings my > > anything. What else can I do?? > > > > hope everyone else is doing well,I saw 2 post ops from Nov. 18th > and > > I'm glad they are doing well. > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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