Anti-Anxiety Drugs and Panic Stricken Dan

[Guest guest]

I gotta fess to another one here! When I had the chat with the PCP re the

labs last week, I also chatted about clonopin (Klonipin?) all same same

maybe? I had done some lookups re meds for General Anxiety and that one

kept coming up

See,,,,,,,the deal is that just now after six months of loafing about the

house has decided to separate me from my cocoon and drive me back

into the vulgarity of the marketplace. The other day, sitting in a pro

seminar, I started to vibrate somewhere down in the pit of the stomach and

became consumed with the thought that the world was full of folks whose sole

purpose in life was to persecute me,,,,,LOL,,,,,but actually it was a very

old old feeling and I have finally come to see it fairly clearly these days.

Someone mentioned earlier,,insomnia, (for which I take Xanax, cause it is

the only thing that lets me sleep), General Anxiety Disorder (self

diagnosed) and sheer panic attacks like I was just getting into in that

seminar. It is a familiar and old pattern to me.

I did manage to make it home, took some Xanax and thought a great deal about

it. Seems to me now that most all of my physical issues are resolved and

the smoke is clearing a bit, I have a bit of clarity from the mirror that I

have never really enjoyed before. I think I have most every addiction known

to man (or woman)kind, some of which are downright enjoyable but not

hazardous to my health, and some which are terminal. I have had the

anxiety conditions since early teens, nay, maybe even before puberty when I

think about it and all the destructive things I did along the way and still

want to do on occasion, are coping mechanisms that just bear more hazard

than relief in the long run. A few of those include, eating, drinking,

manic behaviors, etc. All to excess naturally. Anything in moderation

cannot possibly have any merit.

So, I resolved to ask for some assistance and advice from my trusted PCP (he

does well with my supervision). He said he would not recommend Klonopin as

it had some fairly significant depressive possibilities and other side

effects that he judged were not best for me. He did recommend Buspar and

asked if I wanted to give that a whirl,,which I did and have only been on

for two weeks now. So, for a head med routine I am on Wellbutrin (almost

two years) morning and eve, .50 Xanax at bedtime for sleep and now Buspar

15mg twice a day. Not sure yet if it has kicked in or not.

Tommorrow will be a good test run and I am a bit shaky about it. I will be

doing intense telephone things for three hours in the office for the first

time in a year or so. I hate telephones and rarely spend more than five

consecutive minutes on them. When I first started seeing this PCP about six

years ago, long before WLS, he had said that he thought the majority of my

issues would go away if he could just get me to sleep. In the end, it was I

who found the magic potion. The sleep meds will just not touch me. Being

kicked out of my comfortable nest just seems to be a fairly intimidating

situation for me come the morrow and I am not sure that would

understand if I spent a great deal of time in trying to explain it. But,

once more into the breech! We shall see!

One more time I am absolutely astounded at the number of traits so many of

tend to share,,,,,,there has to be some fire under all this smoke,,,,,doncha

think?

Dan Slone

Surgery 5/2/2000

Lexapro

I take Lexapro, Neurontin and Buspar now none of them cause me to have an

increase in my appetite where at times I can and do over eat(not often). i

also have to watch what I eat like a hawk as I tend to go toward those

sugars

and carbs and with upcoming Bilateral Knee surgery I can't exercise right

now

making things even more tenuous.

Ronit ( Row-Neet) Kalmanor

Dr.Andrei SPMC New Brunswick,NJ

11/10/00

Dr.Camerotta-SPMC

Galbladder removed 2/14/01 (Yes Valentines Day)

BIlateral Knee Replacement Surgery 4/10/03

408/188(+/- 10 pounds due to Medications)

46/14

(H) after 8pm

(Cell)

[Guest guest]

I gotta fess to another one here! When I had the chat with the PCP re the

labs last week, I also chatted about clonopin (Klonipin?) all same same

maybe? I had done some lookups re meds for General Anxiety and that one

kept coming up

See,,,,,,,the deal is that just now after six months of loafing about the

house has decided to separate me from my cocoon and drive me back

into the vulgarity of the marketplace. The other day, sitting in a pro

seminar, I started to vibrate somewhere down in the pit of the stomach and

became consumed with the thought that the world was full of folks whose sole

purpose in life was to persecute me,,,,,LOL,,,,,but actually it was a very

old old feeling and I have finally come to see it fairly clearly these days.

Someone mentioned earlier,,insomnia, (for which I take Xanax, cause it is

the only thing that lets me sleep), General Anxiety Disorder (self

diagnosed) and sheer panic attacks like I was just getting into in that

seminar. It is a familiar and old pattern to me.

I did manage to make it home, took some Xanax and thought a great deal about

it. Seems to me now that most all of my physical issues are resolved and

the smoke is clearing a bit, I have a bit of clarity from the mirror that I

have never really enjoyed before. I think I have most every addiction known

to man (or woman)kind, some of which are downright enjoyable but not

hazardous to my health, and some which are terminal. I have had the

anxiety conditions since early teens, nay, maybe even before puberty when I

think about it and all the destructive things I did along the way and still

want to do on occasion, are coping mechanisms that just bear more hazard

than relief in the long run. A few of those include, eating, drinking,

manic behaviors, etc. All to excess naturally. Anything in moderation

cannot possibly have any merit.

So, I resolved to ask for some assistance and advice from my trusted PCP (he

does well with my supervision). He said he would not recommend Klonopin as

it had some fairly significant depressive possibilities and other side

effects that he judged were not best for me. He did recommend Buspar and

asked if I wanted to give that a whirl,,which I did and have only been on

for two weeks now. So, for a head med routine I am on Wellbutrin (almost

two years) morning and eve, .50 Xanax at bedtime for sleep and now Buspar

15mg twice a day. Not sure yet if it has kicked in or not.

Tommorrow will be a good test run and I am a bit shaky about it. I will be

doing intense telephone things for three hours in the office for the first

time in a year or so. I hate telephones and rarely spend more than five

consecutive minutes on them. When I first started seeing this PCP about six

years ago, long before WLS, he had said that he thought the majority of my

issues would go away if he could just get me to sleep. In the end, it was I

who found the magic potion. The sleep meds will just not touch me. Being

kicked out of my comfortable nest just seems to be a fairly intimidating

situation for me come the morrow and I am not sure that would

understand if I spent a great deal of time in trying to explain it. But,

once more into the breech! We shall see!

One more time I am absolutely astounded at the number of traits so many of

tend to share,,,,,,there has to be some fire under all this smoke,,,,,doncha

think?

Dan Slone

Surgery 5/2/2000

Lexapro

I take Lexapro, Neurontin and Buspar now none of them cause me to have an

increase in my appetite where at times I can and do over eat(not often). i

also have to watch what I eat like a hawk as I tend to go toward those

sugars

and carbs and with upcoming Bilateral Knee surgery I can't exercise right

now

making things even more tenuous.

Ronit ( Row-Neet) Kalmanor

Dr.Andrei SPMC New Brunswick,NJ

11/10/00

Dr.Camerotta-SPMC

Galbladder removed 2/14/01 (Yes Valentines Day)

BIlateral Knee Replacement Surgery 4/10/03

408/188(+/- 10 pounds due to Medications)

46/14

(H) after 8pm

(Cell)

[Guest guest]

OK Dan.....you have now officially started my crying jag that was a LONG

time in coming!!! The last several months for me have been the most

excruciating of my life, or so I thought. I have finally found my way back

to a psychiatrist and therapist and drugs!!! I keep making myself even

crazier wondering WHERE did it all go wrong......how did I find myself here.

Well, earlier today while the rest of the clan was at church I decided to

dig thru the basement and find some " treasures " that I want to sell and try

to pay for the thighjob. Well, I happened upon my diaries from when I was a

teen..........I wanted to die...........EVERY single page was about how much

I hated myself, how fat I was, what diet I was starting.......and how I had

failed yet another one. I continually detailed my out of control

behavior......I never knew till today that it dated back that far......my

whole life has been shadowed by depression, anxiety and weight. How

sad.........worse yet, reading it really made me feel as though there is no

hope. I can't believe that 25 years later I could STILL write those damn

pages over again as though it was yesterday.........I too suffer from

general anxiety disorder (finally diagnosed) and have had several panic

attacks in just the last few months. I am now concerned about my docs chose

of drugs.......it will only be for two more weeks so hopefully it will be

OK. Well, now that I am blubbering like an idiot I just wanted to share

with you that our stories read the same. My brother who is exactly like me

just decided 5 months ago that he wasn't going to " try " anymore. He quit

work and decided to be a stay at home dad to there two boys. He had his

wife's blessings.......she sees his suffering. I understand the wondering

about telling the spouse issue.....although I think anyone married to you

would probably be pretty kind and understanding. I cannot even share with

my hubby that I am on meds or seeing anyone........it would be used against

me at some point........it rots. P.

Lexapro

>

> I take Lexapro, Neurontin and Buspar now none of them cause me to have an

> increase in my appetite where at times I can and do over eat(not often). i

> also have to watch what I eat like a hawk as I tend to go toward those

> sugars

> and carbs and with upcoming Bilateral Knee surgery I can't exercise right

> now

> making things even more tenuous.

>

> Ronit ( Row-Neet) Kalmanor

> Dr.Andrei SPMC New Brunswick,NJ

> 11/10/00

> Dr.Camerotta-SPMC

> Galbladder removed 2/14/01 (Yes Valentines Day)

> BIlateral Knee Replacement Surgery 4/10/03

> 408/188(+/- 10 pounds due to Medications)

> 46/14

> (H) after 8pm

> (Cell)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

OK Dan.....you have now officially started my crying jag that was a LONG

time in coming!!! The last several months for me have been the most

excruciating of my life, or so I thought. I have finally found my way back

to a psychiatrist and therapist and drugs!!! I keep making myself even

crazier wondering WHERE did it all go wrong......how did I find myself here.

Well, earlier today while the rest of the clan was at church I decided to

dig thru the basement and find some " treasures " that I want to sell and try

to pay for the thighjob. Well, I happened upon my diaries from when I was a

teen..........I wanted to die...........EVERY single page was about how much

I hated myself, how fat I was, what diet I was starting.......and how I had

failed yet another one. I continually detailed my out of control

behavior......I never knew till today that it dated back that far......my

whole life has been shadowed by depression, anxiety and weight. How

sad.........worse yet, reading it really made me feel as though there is no

hope. I can't believe that 25 years later I could STILL write those damn

pages over again as though it was yesterday.........I too suffer from

general anxiety disorder (finally diagnosed) and have had several panic

attacks in just the last few months. I am now concerned about my docs chose

of drugs.......it will only be for two more weeks so hopefully it will be

OK. Well, now that I am blubbering like an idiot I just wanted to share

with you that our stories read the same. My brother who is exactly like me

just decided 5 months ago that he wasn't going to " try " anymore. He quit

work and decided to be a stay at home dad to there two boys. He had his

wife's blessings.......she sees his suffering. I understand the wondering

about telling the spouse issue.....although I think anyone married to you

would probably be pretty kind and understanding. I cannot even share with

my hubby that I am on meds or seeing anyone........it would be used against

me at some point........it rots. P.

Lexapro

>

> I take Lexapro, Neurontin and Buspar now none of them cause me to have an

> increase in my appetite where at times I can and do over eat(not often). i

> also have to watch what I eat like a hawk as I tend to go toward those

> sugars

> and carbs and with upcoming Bilateral Knee surgery I can't exercise right

> now

> making things even more tenuous.

>

> Ronit ( Row-Neet) Kalmanor

> Dr.Andrei SPMC New Brunswick,NJ

> 11/10/00

> Dr.Camerotta-SPMC

> Galbladder removed 2/14/01 (Yes Valentines Day)

> BIlateral Knee Replacement Surgery 4/10/03

> 408/188(+/- 10 pounds due to Medications)

> 46/14

> (H) after 8pm

> (Cell)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yanno? I think I am through hopping about frenetically kicking my own butt

with both feet off the ground! I think it all started wrong at the precise

moment of conception or when my gene makeup was determined fairly closely

thereafter.

In the last five years I did some fairly involved family history research.

I wanted to do that because I am a long way from the mountains of Eastern

Kentucky and the coal fields I was born in. That way of life has gone, long

since. My siblings are almost all gone and I have a three year old here in

the deep south. I wanted her to know who she was and where she came from

because I may not be granted the privilege of being here to tell her. The

most revealing thing from all that work was that I knew nothing of my

ancestry. I never met a grandparent, my father's siblings lived within 20

miles of us, and I never remember a visit amongst them, and I do remember my

mother's siblings. They were a gallery of what I now know to be bi-polars,

afflicted with anxiety, panic, addictions, early deaths, suicides. What a

picture began to form in the adult brain that now occupies my skull as

opposed to the child brain (substitute any word that suits ya here) that was

there when the initial impressions were formed a bazillion years ago. The

Freud thing, I have decided, was just never meant to work with me because

when I highlighted the family tree for those kinds of issues above, I just

about painted the wall.

The genes were stacked against me,,,,,,never was a fair fight yanno? Did

not help that the family environment was not supportive. Who knew? We all

knew we were better off than the generation that preceeded us, but in

retrospect that was not saying a lot! I think for me it is not about blame,

it is about finding the right medication or treatment in whatever form.

This is not a moral failing. It is not a wasted life. It is some part of a

mosaic that we are only beginning to understand which brings us all together

here at one point or another. No fault to be assessed, just treatment to be

discovered, and demanded.

So, at 58, I will find out if there is a drug regimen that will ease the

intensity of those attacks that come and go and haunt the day and worse yet,

the night. BUT I will not do the autobuttkick mode anymore. I am done.

Not saying I am not responsible here. Just saying that I " am " responsible.

I will set the course for the remainder of my days and not allow anyone or

anything to take that from me.

For me, just all boils down to one thing. Today, what should I do now that

I know? I cannot fix yesterday, nor tomorrow, just today. I have come a

long way baby! I am not physically sick like I used to be and I am not

going there anymore. I am not in quest of something unknowable, the " whys. "

I am just in quest of how to get in the bed tonight without harming me or

anyone else about me. Fiddley dee, tomorrow is another day!

I wish there was something I could say that would ease the pain at the

moment. Life is short. Chose to be happy today.

Dan Slone

Surgery 5/2/2000

Re: Anti-Anxiety Drugs and Panic Stricken Dan

OK Dan.....you have now officially started my crying jag that was a LONG

time in coming!!!

[Guest guest]

Yanno? I think I am through hopping about frenetically kicking my own butt

with both feet off the ground! I think it all started wrong at the precise

moment of conception or when my gene makeup was determined fairly closely

thereafter.

In the last five years I did some fairly involved family history research.

I wanted to do that because I am a long way from the mountains of Eastern

Kentucky and the coal fields I was born in. That way of life has gone, long

since. My siblings are almost all gone and I have a three year old here in

the deep south. I wanted her to know who she was and where she came from

because I may not be granted the privilege of being here to tell her. The

most revealing thing from all that work was that I knew nothing of my

ancestry. I never met a grandparent, my father's siblings lived within 20

miles of us, and I never remember a visit amongst them, and I do remember my

mother's siblings. They were a gallery of what I now know to be bi-polars,

afflicted with anxiety, panic, addictions, early deaths, suicides. What a

picture began to form in the adult brain that now occupies my skull as

opposed to the child brain (substitute any word that suits ya here) that was

there when the initial impressions were formed a bazillion years ago. The

Freud thing, I have decided, was just never meant to work with me because

when I highlighted the family tree for those kinds of issues above, I just

about painted the wall.

The genes were stacked against me,,,,,,never was a fair fight yanno? Did

not help that the family environment was not supportive. Who knew? We all

knew we were better off than the generation that preceeded us, but in

retrospect that was not saying a lot! I think for me it is not about blame,

it is about finding the right medication or treatment in whatever form.

This is not a moral failing. It is not a wasted life. It is some part of a

mosaic that we are only beginning to understand which brings us all together

here at one point or another. No fault to be assessed, just treatment to be

discovered, and demanded.

So, at 58, I will find out if there is a drug regimen that will ease the

intensity of those attacks that come and go and haunt the day and worse yet,

the night. BUT I will not do the autobuttkick mode anymore. I am done.

Not saying I am not responsible here. Just saying that I " am " responsible.

I will set the course for the remainder of my days and not allow anyone or

anything to take that from me.

For me, just all boils down to one thing. Today, what should I do now that

I know? I cannot fix yesterday, nor tomorrow, just today. I have come a

long way baby! I am not physically sick like I used to be and I am not

going there anymore. I am not in quest of something unknowable, the " whys. "

I am just in quest of how to get in the bed tonight without harming me or

anyone else about me. Fiddley dee, tomorrow is another day!

I wish there was something I could say that would ease the pain at the

moment. Life is short. Chose to be happy today.

Dan Slone

Surgery 5/2/2000

Re: Anti-Anxiety Drugs and Panic Stricken Dan

OK Dan.....you have now officially started my crying jag that was a LONG

time in coming!!!

[Guest guest]

> it is about finding the right medication or treatment in whatever form. >

> So, at 58, I will find out if there is a drug regimen that will ease the

intensity of those attacks that come and go and haunt the day and worse yet,

the night. >

*I have just read two articles on paxil and the SSRI's - there is a massive

class action suit against the makers because the drugs are so addictive that

it is for some people impossible to ever stop taking them. the articles

described extreme levels of withdrawal symptoms. the increment decreases in

the drugs over many many months must be precisely worked out for the

brain/body to begin to work on its own again and during this time the

withdrawal is worse than the original symptoms. no one should cold turkey

off SSRI's and it seems that many docs are not aware of the horrible side

effects when going off such meds. most docs only know what the drug reps

tell them and since the makers have denied this it has taken many very sick

patients and now lawyers to bring this to the publics attention.

I have the articles at work and can post the publication tomorrow if anyone

is interested. I'm sure there is info on the web about such.

sue

[Guest guest]

> it is about finding the right medication or treatment in whatever form. >

> So, at 58, I will find out if there is a drug regimen that will ease the

intensity of those attacks that come and go and haunt the day and worse yet,

the night. >

*I have just read two articles on paxil and the SSRI's - there is a massive

class action suit against the makers because the drugs are so addictive that

it is for some people impossible to ever stop taking them. the articles

described extreme levels of withdrawal symptoms. the increment decreases in

the drugs over many many months must be precisely worked out for the

brain/body to begin to work on its own again and during this time the

withdrawal is worse than the original symptoms. no one should cold turkey

off SSRI's and it seems that many docs are not aware of the horrible side

effects when going off such meds. most docs only know what the drug reps

tell them and since the makers have denied this it has taken many very sick

patients and now lawyers to bring this to the publics attention.

I have the articles at work and can post the publication tomorrow if anyone

is interested. I'm sure there is info on the web about such.

sue

[Guest guest]

Sue....I would really appreciate it if you could do that. Fortunately I did

get off of the Paxil (I was hallucinating on it).....but know of many more

people on it!! Thanks, P.

Re: Anti-Anxiety Drugs and Panic Stricken Dan

>

> > it is about finding the right medication or treatment in whatever form.

>

> > So, at 58, I will find out if there is a drug regimen that will ease the

> intensity of those attacks that come and go and haunt the day and worse

yet,

> the night. >

>

> *I have just read two articles on paxil and the SSRI's - there is a

massive

> class action suit against the makers because the drugs are so addictive

that

> it is for some people impossible to ever stop taking them. the articles

> described extreme levels of withdrawal symptoms. the increment decreases

in

> the drugs over many many months must be precisely worked out for the

> brain/body to begin to work on its own again and during this time the

> withdrawal is worse than the original symptoms. no one should cold turkey

> off SSRI's and it seems that many docs are not aware of the horrible side

> effects when going off such meds. most docs only know what the drug reps

> tell them and since the makers have denied this it has taken many very

sick

> patients and now lawyers to bring this to the publics attention.

>

> I have the articles at work and can post the publication tomorrow if

anyone

> is interested. I'm sure there is info on the web about such.

>

> sue

>

>

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sue....I would really appreciate it if you could do that. Fortunately I did

get off of the Paxil (I was hallucinating on it).....but know of many more

people on it!! Thanks, P.

Re: Anti-Anxiety Drugs and Panic Stricken Dan

>

> > it is about finding the right medication or treatment in whatever form.

>

> > So, at 58, I will find out if there is a drug regimen that will ease the

> intensity of those attacks that come and go and haunt the day and worse

yet,

> the night. >

>

> *I have just read two articles on paxil and the SSRI's - there is a

massive

> class action suit against the makers because the drugs are so addictive

that

> it is for some people impossible to ever stop taking them. the articles

> described extreme levels of withdrawal symptoms. the increment decreases

in

> the drugs over many many months must be precisely worked out for the

> brain/body to begin to work on its own again and during this time the

> withdrawal is worse than the original symptoms. no one should cold turkey

> off SSRI's and it seems that many docs are not aware of the horrible side

> effects when going off such meds. most docs only know what the drug reps

> tell them and since the makers have denied this it has taken many very

sick

> patients and now lawyers to bring this to the publics attention.

>

> I have the articles at work and can post the publication tomorrow if

anyone

> is interested. I'm sure there is info on the web about such.

>

> sue

>

>

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

You lucky devil you. Everytime I think I am med free I get slapped in

the face again. Can we trade for a while?

Lori Owen - Denton, Texas

CHF 4/14/01 479 lbs.

SRVG 7/16/01 401 lbs.

Current Weight 335

Dr. Ritter/Dr. Bryce

On Tue, 8 Apr 2003 20:11:05 -0700 (PDT)

writes:

That's just it. I don't take anything anymore. I haven't for years. I

took Xanax for a bit before my revision surgery but I'm med free now for

psych stuff. Woohoo!

Peace,

G in Sacramento

[Guest guest]

You lucky devil you. Everytime I think I am med free I get slapped in

the face again. Can we trade for a while?

Lori Owen - Denton, Texas

CHF 4/14/01 479 lbs.

SRVG 7/16/01 401 lbs.

Current Weight 335

Dr. Ritter/Dr. Bryce

On Tue, 8 Apr 2003 20:11:05 -0700 (PDT)

writes:

That's just it. I don't take anything anymore. I haven't for years. I

took Xanax for a bit before my revision surgery but I'm med free now for

psych stuff. Woohoo!

Peace,

G in Sacramento