Hubby...Re: here 4 days post op

November 22, 2004

,

If this is any consolation, my husband snapped after I came home

from the hospital too. He was fine for a bit, then looking after the

two little ones and me became too much for him. He's a great guy

most of the time but looking after someone who couldn't do anything

for themselves wasn't expected. I had a rough time in the hospital,

spent 4 days, 1 in CCU because of my heart racing and pulse

dropping. By the time I came home I was on lots of meds and in bed.

I remember when I finally started becoming aware of my surroundings

I wanted company, not someone giving me meds in a syringe and then

going back to work. He didn't understand my needs and he was

consumed with work, kids and the house. All balls were in the air

he said and all were dropping. I needed my Mom and Dad but they're

way too far away and not in good health so they couldn't come. I

remember trying to say thank you for everything but hell, when you

are in pain some things don't come out all perky like they used to.

As saintly as hubby can be at times, this was the first time he had

to look after someone so ill equiped to look after themselves. He

thought I'd be up and doing all that I usually do in a couple of

weeks...surprise, things didn't quite turn out that way. We had a

rough time and when I was finally back on my feet we talked about

how we both felt, but honestly, I'm still a bit resentful that I was

left alone so much of the time, it would have been nice to have more

emotional support. Getting on this group helped a great deal, even

when I don't post I read...it helps to know that you are not alone.

So that's my vent..., you are not alone.

It does get better...eat those potatoes, put them back in the oven

with a little cheese, a little milk and enjoy. Thanks for sharing,

I know there are better days ahead

CA

>

> Hey all I am 4 days post op (surgery Nov. 17) and doing as well as

> can be expected, I think. I spent 1 night in the hospital after

> surgery and I definately think it should have been a least 2

days.

> I did really well the first 24 hours and then it all went down

> hill. The next 24 hours were not so good. The pain meds made me

> vomit and thanks to this site I did not panic, I just leaned

> forward. Then of course I got behind on eating and pain meds so

we

> called the OS and he fixed everthing and now I am doing well. I

of

> course am swollen and more so on my right side.

>

> My husband has been very wonderful about taking care of me until

> today and he snapped. Yelling at the dog yelling at the kids and

I

> know it's hard but suck it up. I think something he wishes I was

> the one taking care of him, but let me tell you it is not all rosy

> on this side. So now I will not be asking him for anything else

and

> I will do it all myself. Like tonight I fixed myself mashed

> potatoes, but after I got finished making them I wasn't hungry any

> more, so I put them in the fridge for another day. sorry to vent,

> but I cannot imagine what he is going through is worst, is it? I

> asked him why all the anger and he told me he felt like a grunt.

I

> will tell you I tell my husband thank you EVERYTIME he brings my

> anything. What else can I do??

>

> hope everyone else is doing well,I saw 2 post ops from Nov. 18th

and

> I'm glad they are doing well.

>

November 22, 2004