RE: Fighting with your spouse, Looking for comments or suggestions

[Guest guest]

The WLS actually improved my marriage, since I had not been MO when I

married my husband. I had been obese, but quitting smoking, childbirth,

repeated diets, and medications that contributed to my weight gain hadn't

totally disrupted my metabolism.

Mr. Naturally Skinny had been the bane of my MO existence, and kept making

cracks about me dying way before my time ... the comments hurt, but I

understood where he was coming from. He was supportive once I made the

decision to have the WLS. He was scared for me too.

To tell you the truth, money problems were more our undoing at the time we

had major problems, more than anything else. Once you have that thorn in

your side, it exacerbates every other small issue.

Consumer Credit Counseling Service (CCCS) was a big help in getting us

leveled out. We needed to get a grip on our money situation... and needed

to get back on track with that. That's one suggestion... Friends of ours

were over $60K in debt, and they successfully paid down their debt in just a

few years. I took their recommendation... after being in denial for awhile.

Of course, when Chas got cancer last year, it rearranged my emotional

priorities too. Faced with the prospect of his mortality, it put everything

else into perspective. This man had been in my life for over half my

life... he is a good man. Wishing him ill or wishing him dead was NOT on my

list. I wanted him healthy and alive... and able to enjoy life. Remission

is a good thing. (smile)

Blessings,

Keltie

Re: Fighting with your spouce, Looking

forcomments or suggestions

Well .......my marriage has been on seriously rocky territory

lately.......nothing new.......just has reached new lows. I suspect that a

lot of it probably has to do with " results " of the surgery. Whether it is

because I have new found respect and confidence in myself.........or due to

the fact that I have been an absolute living breathing bi---!! I was

diagnosed this A.M with an eating disorder......can't wait to find out

exactly what that means. My guess would be because I " obsess " morning, noon

and night about weight and food issues.........this can't be healthy for the

person that has to live with me either. It would be my guess that going

thru what we have gone thru in the last couple of years would stress any

marriage................... P.

Re: Fighting with your spouce, Looking forcomments

or suggestions

> My wife had never had the weight problem. The surgery has put a strain on

> our marriage and we are still working on recovering from it (there is a

> chance it won't work out). Just like a debilitating disease puts a strain

> on a relationship, recovering from a disease seems to have a similar

effect.

> Have others faced this situation? How have you managed it?

>

> Palmer

[Guest guest]

The WLS actually improved my marriage, since I had not been MO when I

married my husband. I had been obese, but quitting smoking, childbirth,

repeated diets, and medications that contributed to my weight gain hadn't

totally disrupted my metabolism.

Mr. Naturally Skinny had been the bane of my MO existence, and kept making

cracks about me dying way before my time ... the comments hurt, but I

understood where he was coming from. He was supportive once I made the

decision to have the WLS. He was scared for me too.

To tell you the truth, money problems were more our undoing at the time we

had major problems, more than anything else. Once you have that thorn in

your side, it exacerbates every other small issue.

Consumer Credit Counseling Service (CCCS) was a big help in getting us

leveled out. We needed to get a grip on our money situation... and needed

to get back on track with that. That's one suggestion... Friends of ours

were over $60K in debt, and they successfully paid down their debt in just a

few years. I took their recommendation... after being in denial for awhile.

Of course, when Chas got cancer last year, it rearranged my emotional

priorities too. Faced with the prospect of his mortality, it put everything

else into perspective. This man had been in my life for over half my

life... he is a good man. Wishing him ill or wishing him dead was NOT on my

list. I wanted him healthy and alive... and able to enjoy life. Remission

is a good thing. (smile)

Blessings,

Keltie

Re: Fighting with your spouce, Looking

forcomments or suggestions

Well .......my marriage has been on seriously rocky territory

lately.......nothing new.......just has reached new lows. I suspect that a

lot of it probably has to do with " results " of the surgery. Whether it is

because I have new found respect and confidence in myself.........or due to

the fact that I have been an absolute living breathing bi---!! I was

diagnosed this A.M with an eating disorder......can't wait to find out

exactly what that means. My guess would be because I " obsess " morning, noon

and night about weight and food issues.........this can't be healthy for the

person that has to live with me either. It would be my guess that going

thru what we have gone thru in the last couple of years would stress any

marriage................... P.

Re: Fighting with your spouce, Looking forcomments

or suggestions

> My wife had never had the weight problem. The surgery has put a strain on

> our marriage and we are still working on recovering from it (there is a

> chance it won't work out). Just like a debilitating disease puts a strain

> on a relationship, recovering from a disease seems to have a similar

effect.

> Have others faced this situation? How have you managed it?

>

> Palmer