Recent WLS articles to help scared friend

April 21, 2003

In a message dated 4/21/2003 6:44:42 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

beau2fulspirit@... writes:

> I have a friend that's the mother of two young boys.

> She's interested in the surgery, but fears she'll be

> one of the few who ends up with complications. Being a

> mother, she's " on the fence " about the surgery because

> of her kids.

>

I am probably a bit militant about this subject. She should be scared - she

should be concerned that surgery complications could kill her because they

certainly can. Worse to my mind, the complications can leave you in the

hospital for months and months and months as an invalid. The possibility is

small, but it is very, very real and needs to be addressed.

The larger possibility is that her obesity will forever mar her ability to be

with her children in the here and now. If she is restricted physically by

her obesity, she will is restricted from fully enjoying her children and

being there for them in every way. If her emotional well being is restricted

by her obesity, the impact on her children is probably even greater. I just

want to cry when I hear obese mothers who are too ashamed to go to class with

the their kids, or to school events, or to recreational activities because of

their size.

Personally, I subscribe to the belief that when it is my time to go, it's my

time to go. I try to live a reasonable life and not take excessive risks

(but mostly because I am just pretty cowardly). But the bottom line is that

if the Higher Power wants me, I'm going whether I have surgery or not. I

made my peace with my family, made out my wills, wrote letters " in case I

didn't wake up " and entered into surgery with hope, realism, and peace.

Kate

April 21, 2003

In a message dated 4/21/2003 6:44:42 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

beau2fulspirit@... writes:

> I have a friend that's the mother of two young boys.

> She's interested in the surgery, but fears she'll be

> one of the few who ends up with complications. Being a

> mother, she's " on the fence " about the surgery because

> of her kids.

>

I am probably a bit militant about this subject. She should be scared - she

should be concerned that surgery complications could kill her because they

certainly can. Worse to my mind, the complications can leave you in the

hospital for months and months and months as an invalid. The possibility is

small, but it is very, very real and needs to be addressed.

The larger possibility is that her obesity will forever mar her ability to be

with her children in the here and now. If she is restricted physically by

her obesity, she will is restricted from fully enjoying her children and

being there for them in every way. If her emotional well being is restricted

by her obesity, the impact on her children is probably even greater. I just

want to cry when I hear obese mothers who are too ashamed to go to class with

the their kids, or to school events, or to recreational activities because of

their size.

Personally, I subscribe to the belief that when it is my time to go, it's my

time to go. I try to live a reasonable life and not take excessive risks

(but mostly because I am just pretty cowardly). But the bottom line is that

if the Higher Power wants me, I'm going whether I have surgery or not. I

made my peace with my family, made out my wills, wrote letters " in case I

didn't wake up " and entered into surgery with hope, realism, and peace.

Kate

April 21, 2003

,

I don't have any articles but my children were very young when I had my

surgery. They were 2yrs8mos, 5 and 7. This was my biggest reason for having

the surgery. I was certain that if I didn't do something, I wouldn't be here

for them. I went to the doctor for carpal tunel sydrome and was immediately

sent to the emergency room. My blood pressure was so high that they admitted

me until they could get it down. That one example sure made my choice clear

to me.

Dawn

April 21, 2003

,

I don't have any articles but my children were very young when I had my

surgery. They were 2yrs8mos, 5 and 7. This was my biggest reason for having

the surgery. I was certain that if I didn't do something, I wouldn't be here

for them. I went to the doctor for carpal tunel sydrome and was immediately

sent to the emergency room. My blood pressure was so high that they admitted

me until they could get it down. That one example sure made my choice clear

to me.

Dawn

April 21, 2003

> I have a friend that's the mother of two young boys.

> She's interested in the surgery, but fears she'll be

> one of the few who ends up with complications. Being a

> mother, she's " on the fence " about the surgery because

> of her kids.

I can completely relate. My kids were 8, 12 and 14 when I had my surgery, so

while they weren't small, I knew they still needed me like they need no one

else in their lives. I expressed my fears to my surgeon. I weighed 415

pounds. What if I died on the table? What if something horrible happened and

I didn't come home to them? He told me with all honesty, that I was facing

death in a few years, maybe less, if I didn't have this surgery. (I knew

that, but death from surgery just seems more " immediate " .)

The day of my surgery I had a picture of my kids with me. I showed it to him

and said " make sure I get home to them. " He smiled and said " that's the

least of your worries -- you're going to be fine. " And I was. And I'm going

to see them grow up because I made that decision.

My other issue is quality of motherhood. At my highest weight, I waited in

the parking lot while the other parents of our Brownie troop took our little

girls on a one mile hike. No way could I make a mile. Other people took my

kids to the movies. We lived in southern California, but we never went to

the theme parks, because I knew I wouldn't fit on any of the rides. I

watched from the sidelines while my kids and their friends' parents did the

things I wanted to be doing. I couldn't even go looking for seashells on the

beach -- I would sink in the sand so deep that walking was impossible.

Yesterday my daughter wanted to mail a card to her grandparents. On a whim,

we walked to the post office because it was a nice day, and NOW it's in

walking distance. We walk through the mall, back and forth from one end to

the other, just to look. If I'm in the last aisle at the grocery store and

realize I forgot something in the first aisle, I don't have to send one of

the kids to go get it. I can make that quick run myself. (I had needed the

electric carts in the grocery store pre-op).

If your friend truly needs this surgery, if a lifetime of dieting has not

worked (and she doesn't just consider it a quick fix), her kids are going to

benefit from her good health in more ways than she can imagine. You can

forward this to her or print it out for her. And pass along a hug too, one

mom to another.

~~ Lyn G

April 21, 2003