Re: : Rude relatives aka how FAT I was

April 29, 2003

Yeah, I agree it's rude. But, I also believe it is total ignorance. I got a

little bent out of shape when my cousin who has always been smaller than

me...even at birth...I was the fat baby, she was the petite one....saw my

picture after I had lost a good deal of the weight, and she replied that " Oh

my, I'll bet Lloyd, (my husband) is just all over you now~! " I came right

back in her face with... " Are you insinuating that he WASN'T all over me then,

and that he must love me MORE now since I have a different exterior? " I also

went on to rant and to rave about how I am the very same person I was before,

and the weight loss has not made a difference in who I am. Guess it was wake

up time for her. She said it really made her think....that she has placed so

much emphasis on her exterior, that she really has never even thought about

her interior, as I had all these years. I never thought of her as so

shallow, but did find she could have depth if she was exposed to it. She was

just ignorant...as many people are, and judge us by our outer packages. It

saddens me to see how people accept me now, when they wouldn't have given me

the time of day before....how sad that is. But then, I will take what I can

get. I'm over the mad...and just accept the fact that I'm accepted now.

But, to me, and those who know me intimately, I will always be an MO person

in my head and heart. I don't ever plan on being anything else. If you

can't educate the ignorant, then just move on and be happy. Life is too

short. Oh, and BTW, I weigh less than my petite little cousin...and it bugs

the life out of her. We love one another, but weight is now a TABOO subject

with her...LOL!

Regards~

>

> Jacque

> Distal RNY, 5/30/00

> Drs. Fox and Oh

> 310~126

> Beginning BMI 50.0

> Current BMI 20.3

> Help! Something happened this weekend that really hurt my feelings,

> but for the sake of family unity, I kept my mouth shut, but it is

> BUGGING me. Can I vent here? My sister-in-law had a few drinks (I

> assume that's what loosened her lips) and started going on and on

> about how fat I use to be. She started out by telling me how great I

> looked now and how much happier I seemed, which was a nice thing, but

> goes on to tell me " I couldn't even talk to you 'before', but now I

> can talk to you. You're so much prettier now " . BTW, I noticed that

> she didn't seem too fond of me in the past, and I guess it was the

> weight thing all along. Anyway, she starts telling me about a " fat "

> lady (her words) that lives on her street and all the mean things

> people say about her, but followed it up with " but at least you

> always kept yourself looking nice " . She talked about a " fat " girl in

> her daughter's class, and how her daughter yelled at her because she

> would make comments about her. It just went on and on. The gist of

> it was (at least this is my interpretation), that she could be all

> friendly w/ me now that I wasn't " fat " anymore (btw, she's " normal "

> sized... although I'm actually a bit smaller than her these days). I

> felt like I should defend myself, but I just sat there w/ my mouth

> hanging open. She thought she was complimenting me I suppose, but it

> was sooo offensive. Has anyone had this happen? I feel like I let

> myself down by not speaking up, but kept quiet to keep the peace. Am

> I being overly sensitive? Has this ever happened to you?

>

> Thanks for the input,

>

April 29, 2003