Vera its something about the Male Ego

[Guest guest]

Hi Vera,

What a delight your Fred is - he's always trying to prove that he can still do

the things he use to do, even if its now in a electric w/c instead of the car!

No doubt I'll have similar problems with Al as he has spent literally years

telling me how to drive. I give him credit he is - rather was an excellent

driver, however he use to make me a nervous wreck whenever I drove. That in

itself was very rare to say the least! The constant snipes about, you're not in

control - don't do this - go now - turn here, usually grabbing the steering

wheel at the same time. By time we got to our distination we were both

completely FRAZZLED! So gradually over the years I'd learnt to expect Al to do

the driving at all times. When he found he was having difficulty in driving the

car I thought he would accept my driving him around to his various Drs

appointments without any problems - Wrong again Ann!

So I've come to the conclusion its the stubborness born in the majority of men

that give us wives such a challenge as to who is the better driver of the CAR!

We thoroughly enjoy all the info you put on your E-mails for the rest of the

group, you're just as wonderful as the others who do likewise.

Keep up the " good work " especially the LAUGHTER Aussie Ann

[Guest guest]

Hi Vera,

What a delight your Fred is - he's always trying to prove that he can still do

the things he use to do, even if its now in a electric w/c instead of the car!

No doubt I'll have similar problems with Al as he has spent literally years

telling me how to drive. I give him credit he is - rather was an excellent

driver, however he use to make me a nervous wreck whenever I drove. That in

itself was very rare to say the least! The constant snipes about, you're not in

control - don't do this - go now - turn here, usually grabbing the steering

wheel at the same time. By time we got to our distination we were both

completely FRAZZLED! So gradually over the years I'd learnt to expect Al to do

the driving at all times. When he found he was having difficulty in driving the

car I thought he would accept my driving him around to his various Drs

appointments without any problems - Wrong again Ann!

So I've come to the conclusion its the stubborness born in the majority of men

that give us wives such a challenge as to who is the better driver of the CAR!

We thoroughly enjoy all the info you put on your E-mails for the rest of the

group, you're just as wonderful as the others who do likewise.

Keep up the " good work " especially the LAUGHTER Aussie Ann

[Guest guest]

Aussie Ann,

Sorry, but this is not an exclusive with males in MSA. Women also get

stubborn. It may be that they feel the strong urge to be able to

control something in their lives as their life and movement is crumbling

around them. My wife and other women have had the same symptom.

Take care, Bill Werre

================================

Algernon Handyside wrote:

>Hi Vera,

>

>What a delight your Fred is - he's always trying to prove that he can still do

the things he use to do, even if its now in a electric w/c instead of the car!

>

>No doubt I'll have similar problems with Al as he has spent literally years

telling me how to drive. I give him credit he is - rather was an excellent

driver, however he use to make me a nervous wreck whenever I drove. That in

itself was very rare to say the least! The constant snipes about, you're not in

control - don't do this - go now - turn here, usually grabbing the steering

wheel at the same time. By time we got to our distination we were both

completely FRAZZLED! So gradually over the years I'd learnt to expect Al to do

the driving at all times. When he found he was having difficulty in driving the

car I thought he would accept my driving him around to his various Drs

appointments without any problems - Wrong again Ann!

>

>So I've come to the conclusion its the stubborness born in the majority of men

that give us wives such a challenge as to who is the better driver of the CAR!

>

>We thoroughly enjoy all the info you put on your E-mails for the rest of the

group, you're just as wonderful as the others who do likewise.

>

>Keep up the " good work " especially the LAUGHTER Aussie Ann

>

>

[Guest guest]

Aussie Ann,

Sorry, but this is not an exclusive with males in MSA. Women also get

stubborn. It may be that they feel the strong urge to be able to

control something in their lives as their life and movement is crumbling

around them. My wife and other women have had the same symptom.

Take care, Bill Werre

================================

Algernon Handyside wrote:

>Hi Vera,

>

>What a delight your Fred is - he's always trying to prove that he can still do

the things he use to do, even if its now in a electric w/c instead of the car!

>

>No doubt I'll have similar problems with Al as he has spent literally years

telling me how to drive. I give him credit he is - rather was an excellent

driver, however he use to make me a nervous wreck whenever I drove. That in

itself was very rare to say the least! The constant snipes about, you're not in

control - don't do this - go now - turn here, usually grabbing the steering

wheel at the same time. By time we got to our distination we were both

completely FRAZZLED! So gradually over the years I'd learnt to expect Al to do

the driving at all times. When he found he was having difficulty in driving the

car I thought he would accept my driving him around to his various Drs

appointments without any problems - Wrong again Ann!

>

>So I've come to the conclusion its the stubborness born in the majority of men

that give us wives such a challenge as to who is the better driver of the CAR!

>

>We thoroughly enjoy all the info you put on your E-mails for the rest of the

group, you're just as wonderful as the others who do likewise.

>

>Keep up the " good work " especially the LAUGHTER Aussie Ann

>

>

[Guest guest]

Greetings Bill,

For me at least, you are correct when you say " It may be that they feel the

strong urge to be able to control something in their lives as their life and

movement is crumbling around them " . That about sums it up for me.

I have more and more problems with not hearing correctly. I have more and

more problems with seeing. I have more and more problems with control of

movements, such as reaching for something. I have more and more problems

with my ability to walk. I have more and more problems with my ability to

talk. I have more and more problems. Gosh Darn It all !! I have to take a

stand on some thing somewhere !!

Often the stand might not make sense. And it may lead to ugly behavior. I

try very hard to put myself into my wife's shoes and remember I love her.

But darn it all !!

Unfortunately, at times I learn my lesson the hard way. Sometimes I accept

my situation gracefully. I no longer drive. I want to desperately. But it

would not be fair to others. But sometimes I resist change (where it won't

hurt others). I need a wheelchair. My last trip to the state fair proved

that point. I probably will talk with my neurologist at my next

appointment. This problem is starting to impact my family - not just me.

But darn it all !! I do NOT want to give into anything else. I will. That

much is too obvious to me at this point. I just do not WANT to do so.

Regards,

=jbf=

B. Fisher

[Guest guest]

Greetings Bill,

For me at least, you are correct when you say " It may be that they feel the

strong urge to be able to control something in their lives as their life and

movement is crumbling around them " . That about sums it up for me.

I have more and more problems with not hearing correctly. I have more and

more problems with seeing. I have more and more problems with control of

movements, such as reaching for something. I have more and more problems

with my ability to walk. I have more and more problems with my ability to

talk. I have more and more problems. Gosh Darn It all !! I have to take a

stand on some thing somewhere !!

Often the stand might not make sense. And it may lead to ugly behavior. I

try very hard to put myself into my wife's shoes and remember I love her.

But darn it all !!

Unfortunately, at times I learn my lesson the hard way. Sometimes I accept

my situation gracefully. I no longer drive. I want to desperately. But it

would not be fair to others. But sometimes I resist change (where it won't

hurt others). I need a wheelchair. My last trip to the state fair proved

that point. I probably will talk with my neurologist at my next

appointment. This problem is starting to impact my family - not just me.

But darn it all !! I do NOT want to give into anything else. I will. That

much is too obvious to me at this point. I just do not WANT to do so.

Regards,

=jbf=

B. Fisher

[Guest guest]

I agree that the stubborness and lashing out, probably come from the fact

that everything else in their lives is out of their control and they are

desparately trying to hang on to some independence and autonomy. That is

the way I always interpreted my husbands feelings when he couldn't express

them to me. Not to say, it didn't sometimes hurt my feelings, but I always

tried to imagine myself in his position, and wonder if I could be anywhere

nearly as tolerant as he.

Bernice

[Guest guest]

I agree that the stubborness and lashing out, probably come from the fact

that everything else in their lives is out of their control and they are

desparately trying to hang on to some independence and autonomy. That is

the way I always interpreted my husbands feelings when he couldn't express

them to me. Not to say, it didn't sometimes hurt my feelings, but I always

tried to imagine myself in his position, and wonder if I could be anywhere

nearly as tolerant as he.

Bernice

[Guest guest]

,

:-) Darn it all, I wish no one had to accept a w/c, BUT falls can be

much worse on both the patient and caregiver. Hang in there. Accept

the w/c and make the best of it. Charlotte had five years of living

with the w/c.

Take care, Bill Werre

============================

B. Fisher wrote:

>Greetings Bill,

>

>For me at least, you are correct when you say " It may be that they feel the

>strong urge to be able to control something in their lives as their life and

>movement is crumbling around them " . That about sums it up for me.

>

>I have more and more problems with not hearing correctly. I have more and

>more problems with seeing. I have more and more problems with control of

>movements, such as reaching for something. I have more and more problems

>with my ability to walk. I have more and more problems with my ability to

>talk. I have more and more problems. Gosh Darn It all !! I have to take a

>stand on some thing somewhere !!

>

>Often the stand might not make sense. And it may lead to ugly behavior. I

>try very hard to put myself into my wife's shoes and remember I love her.

>But darn it all !!

>

>Unfortunately, at times I learn my lesson the hard way. Sometimes I accept

>my situation gracefully. I no longer drive. I want to desperately. But it

>would not be fair to others. But sometimes I resist change (where it won't

>hurt others). I need a wheelchair. My last trip to the state fair proved

>that point. I probably will talk with my neurologist at my next

>appointment. This problem is starting to impact my family - not just me.

>

>But darn it all !! I do NOT want to give into anything else. I will. That

>much is too obvious to me at this point. I just do not WANT to do so.

>

>

>Regards,

>=jbf=

>

> B. Fisher

>

[Guest guest]

,

:-) Darn it all, I wish no one had to accept a w/c, BUT falls can be

much worse on both the patient and caregiver. Hang in there. Accept

the w/c and make the best of it. Charlotte had five years of living

with the w/c.

Take care, Bill Werre

============================

B. Fisher wrote:

>Greetings Bill,

>

>For me at least, you are correct when you say " It may be that they feel the

>strong urge to be able to control something in their lives as their life and

>movement is crumbling around them " . That about sums it up for me.

>

>I have more and more problems with not hearing correctly. I have more and

>more problems with seeing. I have more and more problems with control of

>movements, such as reaching for something. I have more and more problems

>with my ability to walk. I have more and more problems with my ability to

>talk. I have more and more problems. Gosh Darn It all !! I have to take a

>stand on some thing somewhere !!

>

>Often the stand might not make sense. And it may lead to ugly behavior. I

>try very hard to put myself into my wife's shoes and remember I love her.

>But darn it all !!

>

>Unfortunately, at times I learn my lesson the hard way. Sometimes I accept

>my situation gracefully. I no longer drive. I want to desperately. But it

>would not be fair to others. But sometimes I resist change (where it won't

>hurt others). I need a wheelchair. My last trip to the state fair proved

>that point. I probably will talk with my neurologist at my next

>appointment. This problem is starting to impact my family - not just me.

>

>But darn it all !! I do NOT want to give into anything else. I will. That

>much is too obvious to me at this point. I just do not WANT to do so.

>

>

>Regards,

>=jbf=

>

> B. Fisher

>