Re: Food is not my friend...it's just food.

[Guest guest]

Carol wrote:

> I'll be 61 next month, and whenever I have decided to

> share

> some of my " deep darks " the people I've opened up to have ALWAYS been

> amazed

> that I'm not really " all together. " I come across as strong, wise,

> tough and

> able to handle anything life throws in my path to almost everyone

> except

> myself and one or two others who truly know me.

Yep, on all of the above. In fact, this is one of the biggies I'm

dealing with in therapy these days. I come across as competent, brave,

strong...when on the inside, I feel about 10 years old, and a bit of a

doof. Oh, okay, 14 years old on good days. Sharing my " weaknesses " with

others is very hard for me, but what has amazed me is that when I do

this, they don't immediately laugh at me and walk out of the room, or

out of my life. They are surprised, to be sure, but they don't reject

me. Weird, huh?

> We former MO's have a lot more strength than we

> give

> ourselves credit for. What we lack is trust. Ya gotta practice that, I

> know.

YES. Trust is the thing. I lived most of my life not trusting that

anyone else could see who I really was and accept me that way. It's a

constant journey, a learning process that doesn't quit, isn't it?

I.

--

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

RNY September 19, 2001

Dr. Freeman, Ottawa General Hospital

BMI then: 43.5

BMI now: 22

-152 lbs

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>