Guest guest Posted October 26, 2002 Report Share Posted October 26, 2002 The day that we hired a caregive to come daily for two hours to bath and dress mom was one of the best things we have done. Dad was great with mom and very willing and wanting to do for her, but he is carrying ALL the responsibility for cooking, shopping, cleaning, caring, bills, well... you all know! He simply did not have time to get everything done, much less pamper mom or have time for himself. Mom's caregiver has become a dear friend. She spends two hours each morning visiting with mom as she baths and dresses her. She scrubs, lotions, powders, perfumes, brushes teeth, washes and fixes hair, and then spends a few minutes to tidy up around the house. Mom has a new friend and a visit to look forward to daily AND excellent hygiene care -- never a 'short cut' due to other pressing issues. Dad has two hours of being 'off duty' that he doesn't have to feel guilty or that he is 'beholden' to anyone else for helping. He goes off by himself to do things that are just for him. Having this caregiver means that dad's time and energy are conserved for other matters. This has lowered his exhaustion, and that in turn has helped him not be swamped by depression or frustration. Bottom line is that it has enabled us to keep mom at home with the family. If dad had continued to try and do it all himself, he would surely have given out. Sadly, they refused to agree to use the help until dad fractured his back. He suffered and my sister and I had to stay with them 24/7 taking care of TWO disabled patients for several weeks. So we all finally sat down to talk and agreed that the decision not to get outside help not only took a toll on dad, but on the rest of us also. Deb and I said, " Hey, we are glad to help and want to, so we are not complaining. But let's make it as easy on ourselves as we can! " So we got a home health service to send someone in. There have been SO many decisions that we postponed (like the wheelchair issue for so many folks) that after we realized how much freedom it gave we smacked ourselves on our collective head for not doing it sooner. pw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 26, 2002 Report Share Posted October 26, 2002 The day that we hired a caregive to come daily for two hours to bath and dress mom was one of the best things we have done. Dad was great with mom and very willing and wanting to do for her, but he is carrying ALL the responsibility for cooking, shopping, cleaning, caring, bills, well... you all know! He simply did not have time to get everything done, much less pamper mom or have time for himself. Mom's caregiver has become a dear friend. She spends two hours each morning visiting with mom as she baths and dresses her. She scrubs, lotions, powders, perfumes, brushes teeth, washes and fixes hair, and then spends a few minutes to tidy up around the house. Mom has a new friend and a visit to look forward to daily AND excellent hygiene care -- never a 'short cut' due to other pressing issues. Dad has two hours of being 'off duty' that he doesn't have to feel guilty or that he is 'beholden' to anyone else for helping. He goes off by himself to do things that are just for him. Having this caregiver means that dad's time and energy are conserved for other matters. This has lowered his exhaustion, and that in turn has helped him not be swamped by depression or frustration. Bottom line is that it has enabled us to keep mom at home with the family. If dad had continued to try and do it all himself, he would surely have given out. Sadly, they refused to agree to use the help until dad fractured his back. He suffered and my sister and I had to stay with them 24/7 taking care of TWO disabled patients for several weeks. So we all finally sat down to talk and agreed that the decision not to get outside help not only took a toll on dad, but on the rest of us also. Deb and I said, " Hey, we are glad to help and want to, so we are not complaining. But let's make it as easy on ourselves as we can! " So we got a home health service to send someone in. There have been SO many decisions that we postponed (like the wheelchair issue for so many folks) that after we realized how much freedom it gave we smacked ourselves on our collective head for not doing it sooner. pw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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