Re: Just venting - long reply to susan

[Guest guest]

The person responsible for the decision told me that it had come down

to me and another person and she chose the other person because she

had more sales experience even though I had more experience within

the company and with our products ( my company deals in very

specialized products) she also said that she expected to promote

someone within her department and have another opening in 4 to 6

months and she would seriously consider me for it if I was still

interested. This position would be about a 30% pay increase for me.

This is the second time in the past year that I have been passed up

for the same reason. It is kind of frustrating because I am 36 years

old. I moved out of the country when I was 17 and returned when I was

32. So I lost a lot of years of work experience here. I do not regret

the time I spent out of the country, but I really regret the loss of

work experience. It is hard at my age to compete with 24 or 26 year

old people and lose to them. Especially when I have 10 to 12 years of

international business experience. Unfortunatly most american

companies do not consider the work for a foreign comapany as valuable

as the time spent there. I can't quite understand this since it is

much harder to learn to cope with a foreign business culture, but I

guess is you haven't done it you cannot appreciate it.

The other disadvantage I have is that Pittsburgh is not exactly the

center for world commerce.

Any way I know I will move up and on in the world it will just take

some time. I take every opportunity my company offers ( it is a

Fortune 16 company so they have a great learning plan) to learn and

improve my skills.

As I said I know everything it will work out and I sincerly believe

that if I did not get this promotion I know that is is because there

is something more suited to me in the near future, but the timing

along with everything else was just a little too much. It was just

too depressing at the moment and just when it seems like nothing else

can go wrong it does.

As far as leaving my boyfriend I know I will be able to manage that

as he still does not understand the problem and thinks that

everything is ok so I have the upper hand here and I can make it

appear to be ok as long as I want it to be. It is just very tiring to

pretend to be happy when I am not, but I can do it as long as it is

in my best intesrest ( as cold as that sounds).

But thanks for the support and for listening to me vent!

I'm sure you will hear a lot more from me in the next few weeks, I

don't know what I would do without all of you to vent to!

Marsha

> > > Well here I am 10 weeks post-op, I can barely chew, I'm getting

> > sick

> > > of fish and pasta. I am taking 4 to 5 pain pills a day and

muscle

> > > relaxers to sleep. Of course this means I cannot drive and have

> to

> > be

> > > driven everywhere or not take the pills if I have to drive and

> then

> > > the pain won't let me focus on driving.

> > >

> > > Through exercise and doing everything I've been instructed by

my

> > > doctores I have increased my opening from 12 to 22 MM and seem

to

> > > have plateaud there. The physical therapy doesn't help much but

> it

> > is

> > > relaxing to have the heat and them someone massage my face,

> though

> > at

> > > $20 copay a visit I could have gone to a spa for a week by now

> with

> > > what I have paid!

> > >

> > > I still have swelling, I can't start back to the ortho. As you

> can

> > > tell I am very frustrated.

> > >

> > > To top it off I have a long-time live in boyfriend who is

pretty

> > > unsupportive and indifferent ( I think I've mentioned this

> before),

> > I

> > > can be sitting and crying from pain for 10 minutes and he will

> > > casually look over and say " does it hurt? " . This whole

situation

> > has

> > > probably been the boost I need to move out, but now that I want

> to

> > I

> > > don't think I am physically or emotionally able to deal with

> > finding

> > > an apartment and moving. Just thinking about it exhausts me.

> > >

> > > I also found out yesterday that I was passed over for a

promotion

> > > that I really wanted, I'm sure this problem I am going through

> > > contributed to that decision. I've had to drop one of the 3

> classes

> > I

> > > signed up for this semester so that means I will probably not

get

> > my

> > > degree in May and start grad school as I planned.

> > >

> > > Oh! and my mother went to burg VA to visit my Aunt for

a

> > > month so I can't even go cry to her.

> > >

> > > I see my Dr. again next week I'm not sure what the next step

will

> > be

> > > we have discussed several.

> > >

> > > I don't want you all to think I am on the edge. I am glad I had

> the

> > > surgery. I will deal with this and get through it and move out

> and

> > > life will go on. I have been through other tough times, there

is

> > not

> > > much that life can throw at me that will keep me down for long.

> But

> > I

> > > just need to get it all out and off of my chest and I know I

have

> a

> > > sympathetic ear(s) here.

> > >

> > > Thanks for listening

> > >

> > > Marsha

[Guest guest]

The person responsible for the decision told me that it had come down

to me and another person and she chose the other person because she

had more sales experience even though I had more experience within

the company and with our products ( my company deals in very

specialized products) she also said that she expected to promote

someone within her department and have another opening in 4 to 6

months and she would seriously consider me for it if I was still

interested. This position would be about a 30% pay increase for me.

This is the second time in the past year that I have been passed up

for the same reason. It is kind of frustrating because I am 36 years

old. I moved out of the country when I was 17 and returned when I was

32. So I lost a lot of years of work experience here. I do not regret

the time I spent out of the country, but I really regret the loss of

work experience. It is hard at my age to compete with 24 or 26 year

old people and lose to them. Especially when I have 10 to 12 years of

international business experience. Unfortunatly most american

companies do not consider the work for a foreign comapany as valuable

as the time spent there. I can't quite understand this since it is

much harder to learn to cope with a foreign business culture, but I

guess is you haven't done it you cannot appreciate it.

The other disadvantage I have is that Pittsburgh is not exactly the

center for world commerce.

Any way I know I will move up and on in the world it will just take

some time. I take every opportunity my company offers ( it is a

Fortune 16 company so they have a great learning plan) to learn and

improve my skills.

As I said I know everything it will work out and I sincerly believe

that if I did not get this promotion I know that is is because there

is something more suited to me in the near future, but the timing

along with everything else was just a little too much. It was just

too depressing at the moment and just when it seems like nothing else

can go wrong it does.

As far as leaving my boyfriend I know I will be able to manage that

as he still does not understand the problem and thinks that

everything is ok so I have the upper hand here and I can make it

appear to be ok as long as I want it to be. It is just very tiring to

pretend to be happy when I am not, but I can do it as long as it is

in my best intesrest ( as cold as that sounds).

But thanks for the support and for listening to me vent!

I'm sure you will hear a lot more from me in the next few weeks, I

don't know what I would do without all of you to vent to!

Marsha

> > > Well here I am 10 weeks post-op, I can barely chew, I'm getting

> > sick

> > > of fish and pasta. I am taking 4 to 5 pain pills a day and

muscle

> > > relaxers to sleep. Of course this means I cannot drive and have

> to

> > be

> > > driven everywhere or not take the pills if I have to drive and

> then

> > > the pain won't let me focus on driving.

> > >

> > > Through exercise and doing everything I've been instructed by

my

> > > doctores I have increased my opening from 12 to 22 MM and seem

to

> > > have plateaud there. The physical therapy doesn't help much but

> it

> > is

> > > relaxing to have the heat and them someone massage my face,

> though

> > at

> > > $20 copay a visit I could have gone to a spa for a week by now

> with

> > > what I have paid!

> > >

> > > I still have swelling, I can't start back to the ortho. As you

> can

> > > tell I am very frustrated.

> > >

> > > To top it off I have a long-time live in boyfriend who is

pretty

> > > unsupportive and indifferent ( I think I've mentioned this

> before),

> > I

> > > can be sitting and crying from pain for 10 minutes and he will

> > > casually look over and say " does it hurt? " . This whole

situation

> > has

> > > probably been the boost I need to move out, but now that I want

> to

> > I

> > > don't think I am physically or emotionally able to deal with

> > finding

> > > an apartment and moving. Just thinking about it exhausts me.

> > >

> > > I also found out yesterday that I was passed over for a

promotion

> > > that I really wanted, I'm sure this problem I am going through

> > > contributed to that decision. I've had to drop one of the 3

> classes

> > I

> > > signed up for this semester so that means I will probably not

get

> > my

> > > degree in May and start grad school as I planned.

> > >

> > > Oh! and my mother went to burg VA to visit my Aunt for

a

> > > month so I can't even go cry to her.

> > >

> > > I see my Dr. again next week I'm not sure what the next step

will

> > be

> > > we have discussed several.

> > >

> > > I don't want you all to think I am on the edge. I am glad I had

> the

> > > surgery. I will deal with this and get through it and move out

> and

> > > life will go on. I have been through other tough times, there

is

> > not

> > > much that life can throw at me that will keep me down for long.

> But

> > I

> > > just need to get it all out and off of my chest and I know I

have

> a

> > > sympathetic ear(s) here.

> > >

> > > Thanks for listening

> > >

> > > Marsha

[Guest guest]

Hi Marsha,

Well, it sounds positive to me what your manager said about another

position opening up in the next 4-6 months. Try to stay interested

and on top of your boss!

I do know what it's like to start over. I did what I wanted for the

first third of my career, and then decided to get a " real " job (not

trying to offend anyone here, I just decided to do something more

challenging for me).

It took 8 years of working full time and studying for my professional

accounting certification, climbing the ladder by moving from one

company to the next so I would have enough work experience to qualify

once I'd done all of my studies.

Now I have a pretty challenging job, almost too much challenge at

times. I sometimes wish for the old days too. There's no room for

advancement where I am and I'd have to leave again to move upwards.

I also live in a small town/city, too far for me to commute to

Toronto, so I know what it's like to have more limited opportunities.

They are there all the same, though, you just have to keep your ear

to the ground and root them out.

Anyway, I'm 49 now, have been " certified " for 5 years, so I guess I

can tell you something about being persistent (by my math, I was just

about your age when I did my career change). I do not feel that I

wasted time doing what I did in my early 20s and 30s, it all added to

my own personal experience and nobody can take that away from me.

It's what makes me who I am.

Hang in there, I know you want everything to work out perfectly now,

but it's going to take more time and patience.

> > > > Well here I am 10 weeks post-op, I can barely chew, I'm

getting

> > > sick

> > > > of fish and pasta. I am taking 4 to 5 pain pills a day and

> muscle

> > > > relaxers to sleep. Of course this means I cannot drive and

have

> > to

> > > be

> > > > driven everywhere or not take the pills if I have to drive

and

> > then

> > > > the pain won't let me focus on driving.

> > > >

> > > > Through exercise and doing everything I've been instructed by

> my

> > > > doctores I have increased my opening from 12 to 22 MM and

seem

> to

> > > > have plateaud there. The physical therapy doesn't help much

but

> > it

> > > is

> > > > relaxing to have the heat and them someone massage my face,

> > though

> > > at

> > > > $20 copay a visit I could have gone to a spa for a week by

now

> > with

> > > > what I have paid!

> > > >

> > > > I still have swelling, I can't start back to the ortho. As

you

> > can

> > > > tell I am very frustrated.

> > > >

> > > > To top it off I have a long-time live in boyfriend who is

> pretty

> > > > unsupportive and indifferent ( I think I've mentioned this

> > before),

> > > I

> > > > can be sitting and crying from pain for 10 minutes and he

will

> > > > casually look over and say " does it hurt? " . This whole

> situation

> > > has

> > > > probably been the boost I need to move out, but now that I

want

> > to

> > > I

> > > > don't think I am physically or emotionally able to deal with

> > > finding

> > > > an apartment and moving. Just thinking about it exhausts me.

> > > >

> > > > I also found out yesterday that I was passed over for a

> promotion

> > > > that I really wanted, I'm sure this problem I am going

through

> > > > contributed to that decision. I've had to drop one of the 3

> > classes

> > > I

> > > > signed up for this semester so that means I will probably not

> get

> > > my

> > > > degree in May and start grad school as I planned.

> > > >

> > > > Oh! and my mother went to burg VA to visit my Aunt

for

> a

> > > > month so I can't even go cry to her.

> > > >

> > > > I see my Dr. again next week I'm not sure what the next step

> will

> > > be

> > > > we have discussed several.

> > > >

> > > > I don't want you all to think I am on the edge. I am glad I

had

> > the

> > > > surgery. I will deal with this and get through it and move

out

> > and

> > > > life will go on. I have been through other tough times, there

> is

> > > not

> > > > much that life can throw at me that will keep me down for

long.

> > But

> > > I

> > > > just need to get it all out and off of my chest and I know I

> have

> > a

> > > > sympathetic ear(s) here.

> > > >

> > > > Thanks for listening

> > > >

> > > > Marsha

[Guest guest]

Hi Marsha,

Well, it sounds positive to me what your manager said about another

position opening up in the next 4-6 months. Try to stay interested

and on top of your boss!

I do know what it's like to start over. I did what I wanted for the

first third of my career, and then decided to get a " real " job (not

trying to offend anyone here, I just decided to do something more

challenging for me).

It took 8 years of working full time and studying for my professional

accounting certification, climbing the ladder by moving from one

company to the next so I would have enough work experience to qualify

once I'd done all of my studies.

Now I have a pretty challenging job, almost too much challenge at

times. I sometimes wish for the old days too. There's no room for

advancement where I am and I'd have to leave again to move upwards.

I also live in a small town/city, too far for me to commute to

Toronto, so I know what it's like to have more limited opportunities.

They are there all the same, though, you just have to keep your ear

to the ground and root them out.

Anyway, I'm 49 now, have been " certified " for 5 years, so I guess I

can tell you something about being persistent (by my math, I was just

about your age when I did my career change). I do not feel that I

wasted time doing what I did in my early 20s and 30s, it all added to

my own personal experience and nobody can take that away from me.

It's what makes me who I am.

Hang in there, I know you want everything to work out perfectly now,

but it's going to take more time and patience.

> > > > Well here I am 10 weeks post-op, I can barely chew, I'm

getting

> > > sick

> > > > of fish and pasta. I am taking 4 to 5 pain pills a day and

> muscle

> > > > relaxers to sleep. Of course this means I cannot drive and

have

> > to

> > > be

> > > > driven everywhere or not take the pills if I have to drive

and

> > then

> > > > the pain won't let me focus on driving.

> > > >

> > > > Through exercise and doing everything I've been instructed by

> my

> > > > doctores I have increased my opening from 12 to 22 MM and

seem

> to

> > > > have plateaud there. The physical therapy doesn't help much

but

> > it

> > > is

> > > > relaxing to have the heat and them someone massage my face,

> > though

> > > at

> > > > $20 copay a visit I could have gone to a spa for a week by

now

> > with

> > > > what I have paid!

> > > >

> > > > I still have swelling, I can't start back to the ortho. As

you

> > can

> > > > tell I am very frustrated.

> > > >

> > > > To top it off I have a long-time live in boyfriend who is

> pretty

> > > > unsupportive and indifferent ( I think I've mentioned this

> > before),

> > > I

> > > > can be sitting and crying from pain for 10 minutes and he

will

> > > > casually look over and say " does it hurt? " . This whole

> situation

> > > has

> > > > probably been the boost I need to move out, but now that I

want

> > to

> > > I

> > > > don't think I am physically or emotionally able to deal with

> > > finding

> > > > an apartment and moving. Just thinking about it exhausts me.

> > > >

> > > > I also found out yesterday that I was passed over for a

> promotion

> > > > that I really wanted, I'm sure this problem I am going

through

> > > > contributed to that decision. I've had to drop one of the 3

> > classes

> > > I

> > > > signed up for this semester so that means I will probably not

> get

> > > my

> > > > degree in May and start grad school as I planned.

> > > >

> > > > Oh! and my mother went to burg VA to visit my Aunt

for

> a

> > > > month so I can't even go cry to her.

> > > >

> > > > I see my Dr. again next week I'm not sure what the next step

> will

> > > be

> > > > we have discussed several.

> > > >

> > > > I don't want you all to think I am on the edge. I am glad I

had

> > the

> > > > surgery. I will deal with this and get through it and move

out

> > and

> > > > life will go on. I have been through other tough times, there

> is

> > > not

> > > > much that life can throw at me that will keep me down for

long.

> > But

> > > I

> > > > just need to get it all out and off of my chest and I know I

> have

> > a

> > > > sympathetic ear(s) here.

> > > >

> > > > Thanks for listening

> > > >

> > > > Marsha