Happy New Year Everyone

January 1, 2004

To all members of this lovely Yahoo family:

I woke up this morning, this January 1, 2004 thinking about all the

things that I am so thankful for (I'm a little late huh? Should have

thought about this at Thanksgiving) and I thought who better to

share them with than my wonderful family--the only ones who can

truly understand what I go through on a daily basis. For even though

I've never seen your faces except through pictures, I would know

each and every one of you in my heart. I am very grateful to the

owners of these groups who have the courage to stand up and say, " I

am just like you. I have been through the same things you have, I

will share my story, will you share yours? " Knowing that each

individual here has wisdom and advice to share, anecdotes and

stories that each and every one of us can relate to makes this

journey all the more special for the road traveled with every one of

you.

We all know that our friends and family in the real world can be

supportive and empathetic, but they will never truly understand how

we feel about things. They won't know how it feels to not see the

scale move (for those of us who are scale obsessed) one little 1/2

lb. in two weeks or more during a plateau, they will not know what

it is like to feel that tightening in your chest when you eat too

fast or the sickness in your stomach if you over eat or eat

something you shouldn't. They don't know what it's like to have

people look at you with that quizzical look on their faces when they

ask, " What would you like to drink? " and you reply " Nothing,

thanks. " They will never know the reluctance to answer questions

like, " What do you weigh now? " which I get asked every single time I

see certain relatives, or " How are you doing it? You're doing so

much better than I am. " from friends who either have had the surgery

and aren't doing what they are supposed to, or those who although

they are overweight and might need the help this surgery can

provide, refuse to seek the help they need.

Those people will also never know the joy we feel as each milestone

is reached. Walking up a flight of stairs (for me it was the four

steps of my front porch) without having to step up them one at a

time. Walking that first 1/2 mile or mile or eventually 2 miles

without being so out of breath you have to stop every 10 minutes for

a rest. Going on vacation and flying to your destination without a

seat belt extension and actually fitting into the tiny sardine seats

with room to spare. Going to the movie theater and fitting into the

seats without any problems and being able to use the cup holders as

well. Having to either buy new clothes every 3 months or have your

clothes taken in because they are too baggy (or even having your

underwear fall off in the checkout line of the supermarket because

they were too big which happened to 1 unfortunate lady). The joys of

having sex (yes......it's fun now!--forgive me if I offend anyone)

without having to move things that shouldn't be in the way. Going to

the bathroom without any help....all these things.....I am grateful

for getting through them.

Though I started these changes in my life in 2003, I am starting my

new life in 2004 with a renewed hope that I will make it through to

my goal and will be able to follow through on the rest of my

journey with you all by my side knowing that I wouldn't have made it

this far without you and hoping that I can help others as much as

you all have helped me.

I hope you all have a wonderful day today, and that each day in 2004

becomes better than the previous one. Live live to the fullest, you

never know how many days you have left.

Trout

January 1, 2004