Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 In a message dated 12/31/2003 12:46:25 PM Pacific Standard Time, toibox_success@... writes: > I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so > far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement. > Huggers to You All! a beautiful letter Toi, one that my heart could very much relate to ... huggers right back at you. Happy New Year !! Skinny Wishes from Mandy in CA 275/146/126 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 In a message dated 12/31/2003 12:46:25 PM Pacific Standard Time, toibox_success@... writes: > I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so > far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement. > Huggers to You All! a beautiful letter Toi, one that my heart could very much relate to ... huggers right back at you. Happy New Year !! Skinny Wishes from Mandy in CA 275/146/126 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 Can I do this without tearing up and shorting out my keyboard? Sure I can, but if you start seeing sparks fly, you'll know to hand me a tissue. I ended 2002 carrying out the most life saving decision I've ever made (quite a row to hoe folks) and began 2003 alive and well and on the path to great changes. The early months of my post op experience were probably the most physically difficult ones I can remember. I was tired, I was physically ill, I was dehydrated. The emotional toll was probably just as difficult. I wanted to eat, I didn't want to eat, I cried at food commercials (literally angry at Arby's for coming out with some new sandwhich I can't even remember now), got angry with hubby countless times for not cooking my food exactly the way I could have it (its certainly been quite a trip and learning process for him too). I was terrified of failing yet another attempt to regain my health. I was sure that some how I would sabotage this whole operation and remain forever fat. See I've never been one to say that diets just didn't work for me or that every diet I ever went on failed. Nope! I failed the plans. Diets ALWAYS worked for me. I lost weight each and every time I dieted and exercised. I failed when I got sick of being strict and good and went back to my old ways of eating and living a sedentary life. I failed when I would try to make excuses for why I was like I was... heredity, society, emotional health, aches, pains, whatever... Now I've never denied ones propensity to gain weight or carry fat based on their genes. I do believe, however that if we are in control of our emotional health and addictions we can overcome and combat these predispositions. Maybe it was my never ending knowledge of what I was doing to myself each time I ate a whole box of donut holes or sat and watched hours of TV instead of getting out and enjoying the wealths of nature, that made me despise who I had become. Of course the more I despised myself, the more I didn't care what happened, and the more I would eat and the less active I would become. Self evaluation, a look into my prospective future, and many many prayers brought me to a point where I new I had to make a huge change in my life. I'd been curious about WLS for a few years without ever really considering that it was for me. Of course it wasn't for me. I'd read and listened enough to know I would have to be vigilant about eating healthy and being active. Why would I want to do that when sitting around the house doing nothing but looking for the next bit of food to put in my mouth was much more fun, LMAO!!!! I'd never personally known anyone who'd had WLS so I didn't have the slightest idea of how to go about getting WLS. After a particularly embarrasing yearly exam (feeling the doc have to spread my large thighs with his hands 'cause even the stirups weren't far enough apart to give him decent access) I finally fought embarrassment and decided to ask him what he knew about WLS. Lucky for me he had already had a few patients that had undergone WLS and had fantastic results so he knew what resources were out there. He was frank when he told me that he didn't advocate WLS if a patient was at a place where diet and exercise would be beneficial, but at 5'1 " and over 300 lbs, he told me that if I researched the surgical options and still decided that WLS was something I needed to pursue he would point me in the right direction. I went home and for another few weeks researched, prayed and discussed all my options with my family. I had wonderful support and encouragement to do what I needed. From then on it was history. I ended up at St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City, UT, on New Year's Eve (12/31/02), underging a RnY gastic bypass. From the moment I could lift myself out of bed I was walking the ward floors, taking on the dreaded potty, and ready to face my future. This past year has been an amazing one. Filled with some obsticals but mostly with lots of new beginnings and a whole boat load of happiness. My family has been a wonderful rock that I could never have gone on without and you, my friends, have been the support I have laughed with, cried with, and needed so much through all of this. Take a look at my photo file (ToiBox) to see a bit of my journey. I've just posted my latest and greatest and know that much of this was achieved with your support. I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement. Huggers to You All! **Don't dwell on past failures, dream of future successes.** ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Toi ~ Colorado Lap RNY Medial Bypass 12/31/02 308/163/145 St. Mark's Hospital Salt Lake City, UT Dr. Simper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 Can I do this without tearing up and shorting out my keyboard? Sure I can, but if you start seeing sparks fly, you'll know to hand me a tissue. I ended 2002 carrying out the most life saving decision I've ever made (quite a row to hoe folks) and began 2003 alive and well and on the path to great changes. The early months of my post op experience were probably the most physically difficult ones I can remember. I was tired, I was physically ill, I was dehydrated. The emotional toll was probably just as difficult. I wanted to eat, I didn't want to eat, I cried at food commercials (literally angry at Arby's for coming out with some new sandwhich I can't even remember now), got angry with hubby countless times for not cooking my food exactly the way I could have it (its certainly been quite a trip and learning process for him too). I was terrified of failing yet another attempt to regain my health. I was sure that some how I would sabotage this whole operation and remain forever fat. See I've never been one to say that diets just didn't work for me or that every diet I ever went on failed. Nope! I failed the plans. Diets ALWAYS worked for me. I lost weight each and every time I dieted and exercised. I failed when I got sick of being strict and good and went back to my old ways of eating and living a sedentary life. I failed when I would try to make excuses for why I was like I was... heredity, society, emotional health, aches, pains, whatever... Now I've never denied ones propensity to gain weight or carry fat based on their genes. I do believe, however that if we are in control of our emotional health and addictions we can overcome and combat these predispositions. Maybe it was my never ending knowledge of what I was doing to myself each time I ate a whole box of donut holes or sat and watched hours of TV instead of getting out and enjoying the wealths of nature, that made me despise who I had become. Of course the more I despised myself, the more I didn't care what happened, and the more I would eat and the less active I would become. Self evaluation, a look into my prospective future, and many many prayers brought me to a point where I new I had to make a huge change in my life. I'd been curious about WLS for a few years without ever really considering that it was for me. Of course it wasn't for me. I'd read and listened enough to know I would have to be vigilant about eating healthy and being active. Why would I want to do that when sitting around the house doing nothing but looking for the next bit of food to put in my mouth was much more fun, LMAO!!!! I'd never personally known anyone who'd had WLS so I didn't have the slightest idea of how to go about getting WLS. After a particularly embarrasing yearly exam (feeling the doc have to spread my large thighs with his hands 'cause even the stirups weren't far enough apart to give him decent access) I finally fought embarrassment and decided to ask him what he knew about WLS. Lucky for me he had already had a few patients that had undergone WLS and had fantastic results so he knew what resources were out there. He was frank when he told me that he didn't advocate WLS if a patient was at a place where diet and exercise would be beneficial, but at 5'1 " and over 300 lbs, he told me that if I researched the surgical options and still decided that WLS was something I needed to pursue he would point me in the right direction. I went home and for another few weeks researched, prayed and discussed all my options with my family. I had wonderful support and encouragement to do what I needed. From then on it was history. I ended up at St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City, UT, on New Year's Eve (12/31/02), underging a RnY gastic bypass. From the moment I could lift myself out of bed I was walking the ward floors, taking on the dreaded potty, and ready to face my future. This past year has been an amazing one. Filled with some obsticals but mostly with lots of new beginnings and a whole boat load of happiness. My family has been a wonderful rock that I could never have gone on without and you, my friends, have been the support I have laughed with, cried with, and needed so much through all of this. Take a look at my photo file (ToiBox) to see a bit of my journey. I've just posted my latest and greatest and know that much of this was achieved with your support. I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement. Huggers to You All! **Don't dwell on past failures, dream of future successes.** ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Toi ~ Colorado Lap RNY Medial Bypass 12/31/02 308/163/145 St. Mark's Hospital Salt Lake City, UT Dr. Simper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 Toi, What an amazing and inspiring story you've told on this occasion. I have always admired your advice, your strength and your wisdom and this just puts you on a higher plane (in a figurative sense). I think it is amazing how far you have come in your new life and admire your dedication to making this life-saving tool work for you. You look absolutely amazing. T. Lap RNY 6/20/03 432/293/170 Houston, Dr. Adam Naaman Visit my homepage at http://users3.ev1.net/~leeds/ " I will find my way, I can go the distance. I'll be there someday if I can be strong, I know every mile will be worth my while, I would go most anywhere to fell like I belong. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 Toi, What an amazing and inspiring story you've told on this occasion. I have always admired your advice, your strength and your wisdom and this just puts you on a higher plane (in a figurative sense). I think it is amazing how far you have come in your new life and admire your dedication to making this life-saving tool work for you. You look absolutely amazing. T. Lap RNY 6/20/03 432/293/170 Houston, Dr. Adam Naaman Visit my homepage at http://users3.ev1.net/~leeds/ " I will find my way, I can go the distance. I'll be there someday if I can be strong, I know every mile will be worth my while, I would go most anywhere to fell like I belong. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 Thank you . I do have to say this journey has been an amazing one. Thank you for traveling it with me. Huggers to ya! Toi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 Thank you . I do have to say this journey has been an amazing one. Thank you for traveling it with me. Huggers to ya! Toi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 What a wonderful post. Much continued success! Thanks for sharing this with all of us. I can't wait till next year when God willing, I'll be able to share my journey. Jayne Lap RNY 3/12/04 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 What a wonderful post. Much continued success! Thanks for sharing this with all of us. I can't wait till next year when God willing, I'll be able to share my journey. Jayne Lap RNY 3/12/04 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 Toi, I was teary eyed at the beginning, as I'm sure many can relate so easy to your journey of the past. I know it was mine. Then by the end I was crying for joy for you!!! I'm a sap for happy endings. I just took a look at your pictures, and you are truly beautiful. Your happiness shines through. What a wonderful set of pictures to have. Thanks for writing this, I can relate, and look forward to the time when I can say it's been a year and look what I've accomplished. Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2003 Report Share Posted December 31, 2003 Toi, I was teary eyed at the beginning, as I'm sure many can relate so easy to your journey of the past. I know it was mine. Then by the end I was crying for joy for you!!! I'm a sap for happy endings. I just took a look at your pictures, and you are truly beautiful. Your happiness shines through. What a wonderful set of pictures to have. Thanks for writing this, I can relate, and look forward to the time when I can say it's been a year and look what I've accomplished. Joan LAP RNY 11/18/03 Dr. Higa, Fresno, CA 282pre-op/275surg/241/140 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 1, 2004 Report Share Posted January 1, 2004 Toi, Happy re-birthday to you!!! I think your story is incredible and I can certainly relate to many of your experiences. You bring tears to my eyes in reading it and remembering those things that are certainly and forever in the past. May the new year bring even more happiness to your life! ORNY 4/28/03 283/193/130 > Can I do this without tearing up and shorting out my keyboard? Sure I > can, but if you start seeing sparks fly, you'll know to hand me a > tissue. > > I ended 2002 carrying out the most life saving decision I've ever > made (quite a row to hoe folks) and began 2003 alive and well and on > the path to great changes. > > The early months of my post op experience were probably the most > physically difficult ones I can remember. I was tired, I was > physically ill, I was dehydrated. The emotional toll was probably > just as difficult. I wanted to eat, I didn't want to eat, I cried at > food commercials (literally angry at Arby's for coming out with some > new sandwhich I can't even remember now), got angry with hubby > countless times for not cooking my food exactly the way I could have > it (its certainly been quite a trip and learning process for him > too). > > I was terrified of failing yet another attempt to regain my health. I > was sure that some how I would sabotage this whole operation and > remain forever fat. See I've never been one to say that diets just > didn't work for me or that every diet I ever went on failed. Nope! I > failed the plans. Diets ALWAYS worked for me. I lost weight each and > every time I dieted and exercised. I failed when I got sick of being > strict and good and went back to my old ways of eating and living a > sedentary life. I failed when I would try to make excuses for why I > was like I was... heredity, society, emotional health, aches, pains, > whatever... Now I've never denied ones propensity to gain weight or > carry fat based on their genes. I do believe, however that if we are > in control of our emotional health and addictions we can overcome and > combat these predispositions. Maybe it was my never ending knowledge > of what I was doing to myself each time I ate a whole box of donut > holes or sat and watched hours of TV instead of getting out and > enjoying the wealths of nature, that made me despise who I had > become. Of course the more I despised myself, the more I didn't care > what happened, and the more I would eat and the less active I would > become. > > Self evaluation, a look into my prospective future, and many many > prayers brought me to a point where I new I had to make a huge change > in my life. I'd been curious about WLS for a few years without ever > really considering that it was for me. Of course it wasn't for me. > I'd read and listened enough to know I would have to be vigilant > about eating healthy and being active. Why would I want to do that > when sitting around the house doing nothing but looking for the next > bit of food to put in my mouth was much more fun, LMAO!!!! > > I'd never personally known anyone who'd had WLS so I didn't have the > slightest idea of how to go about getting WLS. After a particularly > embarrasing yearly exam (feeling the doc have to spread my large > thighs with his hands 'cause even the stirups weren't far enough > apart to give him decent access) I finally fought embarrassment and > decided to ask him what he knew about WLS. Lucky for me he had > already had a few patients that had undergone WLS and had fantastic > results so he knew what resources were out there. He was frank when > he told me that he didn't advocate WLS if a patient was at a place > where diet and exercise would be beneficial, but at 5'1 " and over 300 > lbs, he told me that if I researched the surgical options and still > decided that WLS was something I needed to pursue he would point me > in the right direction. > > I went home and for another few weeks researched, prayed and > discussed all my options with my family. I had wonderful support and > encouragement to do what I needed. From then on it was history. I > ended up at St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City, UT, on New Year's > Eve (12/31/02), underging a RnY gastic bypass. From the moment I > could lift myself out of bed I was walking the ward floors, taking on > the dreaded potty, and ready to face my future. > > This past year has been an amazing one. Filled with some obsticals > but mostly with lots of new beginnings and a whole boat load of > happiness. My family has been a wonderful rock that I could never > have gone on without and you, my friends, have been the support I > have laughed with, cried with, and needed so much through all of > this. > > Take a look at my photo file (ToiBox) to see a bit of my journey. > I've just posted my latest and greatest and know that much of this > was achieved with your support. > > I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so > far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement. > Huggers to You All! > > **Don't dwell on past failures, dream of future successes.** > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Toi ~ Colorado > Lap RNY Medial Bypass > 12/31/02 > 308/163/145 > St. Mark's Hospital > Salt Lake City, UT > Dr. Simper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 1, 2004 Report Share Posted January 1, 2004 Toi, Happy re-birthday to you!!! I think your story is incredible and I can certainly relate to many of your experiences. You bring tears to my eyes in reading it and remembering those things that are certainly and forever in the past. May the new year bring even more happiness to your life! ORNY 4/28/03 283/193/130 > Can I do this without tearing up and shorting out my keyboard? Sure I > can, but if you start seeing sparks fly, you'll know to hand me a > tissue. > > I ended 2002 carrying out the most life saving decision I've ever > made (quite a row to hoe folks) and began 2003 alive and well and on > the path to great changes. > > The early months of my post op experience were probably the most > physically difficult ones I can remember. I was tired, I was > physically ill, I was dehydrated. The emotional toll was probably > just as difficult. I wanted to eat, I didn't want to eat, I cried at > food commercials (literally angry at Arby's for coming out with some > new sandwhich I can't even remember now), got angry with hubby > countless times for not cooking my food exactly the way I could have > it (its certainly been quite a trip and learning process for him > too). > > I was terrified of failing yet another attempt to regain my health. I > was sure that some how I would sabotage this whole operation and > remain forever fat. See I've never been one to say that diets just > didn't work for me or that every diet I ever went on failed. Nope! I > failed the plans. Diets ALWAYS worked for me. I lost weight each and > every time I dieted and exercised. I failed when I got sick of being > strict and good and went back to my old ways of eating and living a > sedentary life. I failed when I would try to make excuses for why I > was like I was... heredity, society, emotional health, aches, pains, > whatever... Now I've never denied ones propensity to gain weight or > carry fat based on their genes. I do believe, however that if we are > in control of our emotional health and addictions we can overcome and > combat these predispositions. Maybe it was my never ending knowledge > of what I was doing to myself each time I ate a whole box of donut > holes or sat and watched hours of TV instead of getting out and > enjoying the wealths of nature, that made me despise who I had > become. Of course the more I despised myself, the more I didn't care > what happened, and the more I would eat and the less active I would > become. > > Self evaluation, a look into my prospective future, and many many > prayers brought me to a point where I new I had to make a huge change > in my life. I'd been curious about WLS for a few years without ever > really considering that it was for me. Of course it wasn't for me. > I'd read and listened enough to know I would have to be vigilant > about eating healthy and being active. Why would I want to do that > when sitting around the house doing nothing but looking for the next > bit of food to put in my mouth was much more fun, LMAO!!!! > > I'd never personally known anyone who'd had WLS so I didn't have the > slightest idea of how to go about getting WLS. After a particularly > embarrasing yearly exam (feeling the doc have to spread my large > thighs with his hands 'cause even the stirups weren't far enough > apart to give him decent access) I finally fought embarrassment and > decided to ask him what he knew about WLS. Lucky for me he had > already had a few patients that had undergone WLS and had fantastic > results so he knew what resources were out there. He was frank when > he told me that he didn't advocate WLS if a patient was at a place > where diet and exercise would be beneficial, but at 5'1 " and over 300 > lbs, he told me that if I researched the surgical options and still > decided that WLS was something I needed to pursue he would point me > in the right direction. > > I went home and for another few weeks researched, prayed and > discussed all my options with my family. I had wonderful support and > encouragement to do what I needed. From then on it was history. I > ended up at St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City, UT, on New Year's > Eve (12/31/02), underging a RnY gastic bypass. From the moment I > could lift myself out of bed I was walking the ward floors, taking on > the dreaded potty, and ready to face my future. > > This past year has been an amazing one. Filled with some obsticals > but mostly with lots of new beginnings and a whole boat load of > happiness. My family has been a wonderful rock that I could never > have gone on without and you, my friends, have been the support I > have laughed with, cried with, and needed so much through all of > this. > > Take a look at my photo file (ToiBox) to see a bit of my journey. > I've just posted my latest and greatest and know that much of this > was achieved with your support. > > I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so > far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement. > Huggers to You All! > > **Don't dwell on past failures, dream of future successes.** > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Toi ~ Colorado > Lap RNY Medial Bypass > 12/31/02 > 308/163/145 > St. Mark's Hospital > Salt Lake City, UT > Dr. Simper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 1, 2004 Report Share Posted January 1, 2004 ((((toi)))))friend!!!! you're looking fabulous & radiant! so very proud of ya!! & u know i can relate to the MO self loathing & the triumph of rising out of them ashes like the Phoenix. & i also didn't know personally know anyone that had wls, i leapt w/ all the trust in the Good & Merciful Lord. to me, also, the obstacles are a non-issue, & are a tiny price to pay for living a " regular " life, w/out the excess weight stigma. thanx for being part of my (our) journey. hugs!! lori h. > This past year has been an amazing one. Filled with some obsticals > but mostly with lots of new beginnings and a whole boat load of > happiness. My family has been a wonderful rock that I could never > have gone on without and you, my friends, have been the support I > have laughed with, cried with, and needed so much through all of > this. > > Take a look at my photo file (ToiBox) to see a bit of my journey. > I've just posted my latest and greatest and know that much of this > was achieved with your support. > > I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so > far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement. > Huggers to You All! > > **Don't dwell on past failures, dream of future successes.** > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Toi ~ Colorado > Lap RNY Medial Bypass > 12/31/02 > 308/163/145 > St. Mark's Hospital > Salt Lake City, UT > Dr. Simper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 1, 2004 Report Share Posted January 1, 2004 ((((toi)))))friend!!!! you're looking fabulous & radiant! so very proud of ya!! & u know i can relate to the MO self loathing & the triumph of rising out of them ashes like the Phoenix. & i also didn't know personally know anyone that had wls, i leapt w/ all the trust in the Good & Merciful Lord. to me, also, the obstacles are a non-issue, & are a tiny price to pay for living a " regular " life, w/out the excess weight stigma. thanx for being part of my (our) journey. hugs!! lori h. > This past year has been an amazing one. Filled with some obsticals > but mostly with lots of new beginnings and a whole boat load of > happiness. My family has been a wonderful rock that I could never > have gone on without and you, my friends, have been the support I > have laughed with, cried with, and needed so much through all of > this. > > Take a look at my photo file (ToiBox) to see a bit of my journey. > I've just posted my latest and greatest and know that much of this > was achieved with your support. > > I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so > far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement. > Huggers to You All! > > **Don't dwell on past failures, dream of future successes.** > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Toi ~ Colorado > Lap RNY Medial Bypass > 12/31/02 > 308/163/145 > St. Mark's Hospital > Salt Lake City, UT > Dr. Simper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Thank you . For once I enter into a new year truly feeling that things can only get better from here. What a blessing. My you have many wonderful new beginnings this coming year also. Toi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Thank you . For once I enter into a new year truly feeling that things can only get better from here. What a blessing. My you have many wonderful new beginnings this coming year also. Toi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Awww thanks Lori... I'm feeling more fabulous all the time, especially with the added weight of self loathing lifted. A huge part of this group being so special is because so many know just where I've been and where I am headed. That's a lot to share with anyone and I'm glad I have you to guide some of my itty bitty footsteps. Toi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Awww thanks Lori... I'm feeling more fabulous all the time, especially with the added weight of self loathing lifted. A huge part of this group being so special is because so many know just where I've been and where I am headed. That's a lot to share with anyone and I'm glad I have you to guide some of my itty bitty footsteps. Toi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 You almost made me tear up, girl! What a great message! And you look fabulous! Open RNY 10/13/03 303/244/160 > Can I do this without tearing up and shorting out my keyboard? Sure I > can, but if you start seeing sparks fly, you'll know to hand me a > tissue. > > I ended 2002 carrying out the most life saving decision I've ever > made (quite a row to hoe folks) and began 2003 alive and well and on > the path to great changes. > > The early months of my post op experience were probably the most > physically difficult ones I can remember. I was tired, I was > physically ill, I was dehydrated. The emotional toll was probably > just as difficult. I wanted to eat, I didn't want to eat, I cried at > food commercials (literally angry at Arby's for coming out with some > new sandwhich I can't even remember now), got angry with hubby > countless times for not cooking my food exactly the way I could have > it (its certainly been quite a trip and learning process for him > too). > > I was terrified of failing yet another attempt to regain my health. I > was sure that some how I would sabotage this whole operation and > remain forever fat. See I've never been one to say that diets just > didn't work for me or that every diet I ever went on failed. Nope! I > failed the plans. Diets ALWAYS worked for me. I lost weight each and > every time I dieted and exercised. I failed when I got sick of being > strict and good and went back to my old ways of eating and living a > sedentary life. I failed when I would try to make excuses for why I > was like I was... heredity, society, emotional health, aches, pains, > whatever... Now I've never denied ones propensity to gain weight or > carry fat based on their genes. I do believe, however that if we are > in control of our emotional health and addictions we can overcome and > combat these predispositions. Maybe it was my never ending knowledge > of what I was doing to myself each time I ate a whole box of donut > holes or sat and watched hours of TV instead of getting out and > enjoying the wealths of nature, that made me despise who I had > become. Of course the more I despised myself, the more I didn't care > what happened, and the more I would eat and the less active I would > become. > > Self evaluation, a look into my prospective future, and many many > prayers brought me to a point where I new I had to make a huge change > in my life. I'd been curious about WLS for a few years without ever > really considering that it was for me. Of course it wasn't for me. > I'd read and listened enough to know I would have to be vigilant > about eating healthy and being active. Why would I want to do that > when sitting around the house doing nothing but looking for the next > bit of food to put in my mouth was much more fun, LMAO!!!! > > I'd never personally known anyone who'd had WLS so I didn't have the > slightest idea of how to go about getting WLS. After a particularly > embarrasing yearly exam (feeling the doc have to spread my large > thighs with his hands 'cause even the stirups weren't far enough > apart to give him decent access) I finally fought embarrassment and > decided to ask him what he knew about WLS. Lucky for me he had > already had a few patients that had undergone WLS and had fantastic > results so he knew what resources were out there. He was frank when > he told me that he didn't advocate WLS if a patient was at a place > where diet and exercise would be beneficial, but at 5'1 " and over 300 > lbs, he told me that if I researched the surgical options and still > decided that WLS was something I needed to pursue he would point me > in the right direction. > > I went home and for another few weeks researched, prayed and > discussed all my options with my family. I had wonderful support and > encouragement to do what I needed. From then on it was history. I > ended up at St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City, UT, on New Year's > Eve (12/31/02), underging a RnY gastic bypass. From the moment I > could lift myself out of bed I was walking the ward floors, taking on > the dreaded potty, and ready to face my future. > > This past year has been an amazing one. Filled with some obsticals > but mostly with lots of new beginnings and a whole boat load of > happiness. My family has been a wonderful rock that I could never > have gone on without and you, my friends, have been the support I > have laughed with, cried with, and needed so much through all of > this. > > Take a look at my photo file (ToiBox) to see a bit of my journey. > I've just posted my latest and greatest and know that much of this > was achieved with your support. > > I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so > far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement. > Huggers to You All! > > **Don't dwell on past failures, dream of future successes.** > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Toi ~ Colorado > Lap RNY Medial Bypass > 12/31/02 > 308/163/145 > St. Mark's Hospital > Salt Lake City, UT > Dr. Simper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 You almost made me tear up, girl! What a great message! And you look fabulous! Open RNY 10/13/03 303/244/160 > Can I do this without tearing up and shorting out my keyboard? Sure I > can, but if you start seeing sparks fly, you'll know to hand me a > tissue. > > I ended 2002 carrying out the most life saving decision I've ever > made (quite a row to hoe folks) and began 2003 alive and well and on > the path to great changes. > > The early months of my post op experience were probably the most > physically difficult ones I can remember. I was tired, I was > physically ill, I was dehydrated. The emotional toll was probably > just as difficult. I wanted to eat, I didn't want to eat, I cried at > food commercials (literally angry at Arby's for coming out with some > new sandwhich I can't even remember now), got angry with hubby > countless times for not cooking my food exactly the way I could have > it (its certainly been quite a trip and learning process for him > too). > > I was terrified of failing yet another attempt to regain my health. I > was sure that some how I would sabotage this whole operation and > remain forever fat. See I've never been one to say that diets just > didn't work for me or that every diet I ever went on failed. Nope! I > failed the plans. Diets ALWAYS worked for me. I lost weight each and > every time I dieted and exercised. I failed when I got sick of being > strict and good and went back to my old ways of eating and living a > sedentary life. I failed when I would try to make excuses for why I > was like I was... heredity, society, emotional health, aches, pains, > whatever... Now I've never denied ones propensity to gain weight or > carry fat based on their genes. I do believe, however that if we are > in control of our emotional health and addictions we can overcome and > combat these predispositions. Maybe it was my never ending knowledge > of what I was doing to myself each time I ate a whole box of donut > holes or sat and watched hours of TV instead of getting out and > enjoying the wealths of nature, that made me despise who I had > become. Of course the more I despised myself, the more I didn't care > what happened, and the more I would eat and the less active I would > become. > > Self evaluation, a look into my prospective future, and many many > prayers brought me to a point where I new I had to make a huge change > in my life. I'd been curious about WLS for a few years without ever > really considering that it was for me. Of course it wasn't for me. > I'd read and listened enough to know I would have to be vigilant > about eating healthy and being active. Why would I want to do that > when sitting around the house doing nothing but looking for the next > bit of food to put in my mouth was much more fun, LMAO!!!! > > I'd never personally known anyone who'd had WLS so I didn't have the > slightest idea of how to go about getting WLS. After a particularly > embarrasing yearly exam (feeling the doc have to spread my large > thighs with his hands 'cause even the stirups weren't far enough > apart to give him decent access) I finally fought embarrassment and > decided to ask him what he knew about WLS. Lucky for me he had > already had a few patients that had undergone WLS and had fantastic > results so he knew what resources were out there. He was frank when > he told me that he didn't advocate WLS if a patient was at a place > where diet and exercise would be beneficial, but at 5'1 " and over 300 > lbs, he told me that if I researched the surgical options and still > decided that WLS was something I needed to pursue he would point me > in the right direction. > > I went home and for another few weeks researched, prayed and > discussed all my options with my family. I had wonderful support and > encouragement to do what I needed. From then on it was history. I > ended up at St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City, UT, on New Year's > Eve (12/31/02), underging a RnY gastic bypass. From the moment I > could lift myself out of bed I was walking the ward floors, taking on > the dreaded potty, and ready to face my future. > > This past year has been an amazing one. Filled with some obsticals > but mostly with lots of new beginnings and a whole boat load of > happiness. My family has been a wonderful rock that I could never > have gone on without and you, my friends, have been the support I > have laughed with, cried with, and needed so much through all of > this. > > Take a look at my photo file (ToiBox) to see a bit of my journey. > I've just posted my latest and greatest and know that much of this > was achieved with your support. > > I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so > far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement. > Huggers to You All! > > **Don't dwell on past failures, dream of future successes.** > ~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Toi ~ Colorado > Lap RNY Medial Bypass > 12/31/02 > 308/163/145 > St. Mark's Hospital > Salt Lake City, UT > Dr. Simper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Thanks . I've got enought tissue to spare to anyone that wants to join me in sheading tears of joy. And you, my dear, have plenty to be joyous about. Just look at those wonderful numbers in you signature. You've done so wonderful in less than 3 months time. Huggers, Toi > You almost made me tear up, girl! What a great message! And you > look fabulous! > > > Open RNY 10/13/03 > 303/244/160 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Thanks . I've got enought tissue to spare to anyone that wants to join me in sheading tears of joy. And you, my dear, have plenty to be joyous about. Just look at those wonderful numbers in you signature. You've done so wonderful in less than 3 months time. Huggers, Toi > You almost made me tear up, girl! What a great message! And you > look fabulous! > > > Open RNY 10/13/03 > 303/244/160 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Amazing and Inspiring Toi. Thanks for sharing!!!! Candi My Re-Birth Day!!! Can I do this without tearing up and shorting out my keyboard? Sure I can, but if you start seeing sparks fly, you'll know to hand me a tissue. I ended 2002 carrying out the most life saving decision I've ever made (quite a row to hoe folks) and began 2003 alive and well and on the path to great changes. The early months of my post op experience were probably the most physically difficult ones I can remember. I was tired, I was physically ill, I was dehydrated. The emotional toll was probably just as difficult. I wanted to eat, I didn't want to eat, I cried at food commercials (literally angry at Arby's for coming out with some new sandwhich I can't even remember now), got angry with hubby countless times for not cooking my food exactly the way I could have it (its certainly been quite a trip and learning process for him too). I was terrified of failing yet another attempt to regain my health. I was sure that some how I would sabotage this whole operation and remain forever fat. See I've never been one to say that diets just didn't work for me or that every diet I ever went on failed. Nope! I failed the plans. Diets ALWAYS worked for me. I lost weight each and every time I dieted and exercised. I failed when I got sick of being strict and good and went back to my old ways of eating and living a sedentary life. I failed when I would try to make excuses for why I was like I was... heredity, society, emotional health, aches, pains, whatever... Now I've never denied ones propensity to gain weight or carry fat based on their genes. I do believe, however that if we are in control of our emotional health and addictions we can overcome and combat these predispositions. Maybe it was my never ending knowledge of what I was doing to myself each time I ate a whole box of donut holes or sat and watched hours of TV instead of getting out and enjoying the wealths of nature, that made me despise who I had become. Of course the more I despised myself, the more I didn't care what happened, and the more I would eat and the less active I would become. Self evaluation, a look into my prospective future, and many many prayers brought me to a point where I new I had to make a huge change in my life. I'd been curious about WLS for a few years without ever really considering that it was for me. Of course it wasn't for me. I'd read and listened enough to know I would have to be vigilant about eating healthy and being active. Why would I want to do that when sitting around the house doing nothing but looking for the next bit of food to put in my mouth was much more fun, LMAO!!!! I'd never personally known anyone who'd had WLS so I didn't have the slightest idea of how to go about getting WLS. After a particularly embarrasing yearly exam (feeling the doc have to spread my large thighs with his hands 'cause even the stirups weren't far enough apart to give him decent access) I finally fought embarrassment and decided to ask him what he knew about WLS. Lucky for me he had already had a few patients that had undergone WLS and had fantastic results so he knew what resources were out there. He was frank when he told me that he didn't advocate WLS if a patient was at a place where diet and exercise would be beneficial, but at 5'1 " and over 300 lbs, he told me that if I researched the surgical options and still decided that WLS was something I needed to pursue he would point me in the right direction. I went home and for another few weeks researched, prayed and discussed all my options with my family. I had wonderful support and encouragement to do what I needed. From then on it was history. I ended up at St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City, UT, on New Year's Eve (12/31/02), underging a RnY gastic bypass. From the moment I could lift myself out of bed I was walking the ward floors, taking on the dreaded potty, and ready to face my future. This past year has been an amazing one. Filled with some obsticals but mostly with lots of new beginnings and a whole boat load of happiness. My family has been a wonderful rock that I could never have gone on without and you, my friends, have been the support I have laughed with, cried with, and needed so much through all of this. Take a look at my photo file (ToiBox) to see a bit of my journey. I've just posted my latest and greatest and know that much of this was achieved with your support. I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement. Huggers to You All! **Don't dwell on past failures, dream of future successes.** ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Toi ~ Colorado Lap RNY Medial Bypass 12/31/02 308/163/145 St. Mark's Hospital Salt Lake City, UT Dr. Simper ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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