My Re-Birth Day!!!

[Guest guest]

Amazing and Inspiring Toi. Thanks for sharing!!!!

Candi

My Re-Birth Day!!!

Can I do this without tearing up and shorting out my keyboard? Sure I

can, but if you start seeing sparks fly, you'll know to hand me a

tissue.

I ended 2002 carrying out the most life saving decision I've ever

made (quite a row to hoe folks) and began 2003 alive and well and on

the path to great changes.

The early months of my post op experience were probably the most

physically difficult ones I can remember. I was tired, I was

physically ill, I was dehydrated. The emotional toll was probably

just as difficult. I wanted to eat, I didn't want to eat, I cried at

food commercials (literally angry at Arby's for coming out with some

new sandwhich I can't even remember now), got angry with hubby

countless times for not cooking my food exactly the way I could have

it (its certainly been quite a trip and learning process for him

too).

I was terrified of failing yet another attempt to regain my health. I

was sure that some how I would sabotage this whole operation and

remain forever fat. See I've never been one to say that diets just

didn't work for me or that every diet I ever went on failed. Nope! I

failed the plans. Diets ALWAYS worked for me. I lost weight each and

every time I dieted and exercised. I failed when I got sick of being

strict and good and went back to my old ways of eating and living a

sedentary life. I failed when I would try to make excuses for why I

was like I was... heredity, society, emotional health, aches, pains,

whatever... Now I've never denied ones propensity to gain weight or

carry fat based on their genes. I do believe, however that if we are

in control of our emotional health and addictions we can overcome and

combat these predispositions. Maybe it was my never ending knowledge

of what I was doing to myself each time I ate a whole box of donut

holes or sat and watched hours of TV instead of getting out and

enjoying the wealths of nature, that made me despise who I had

become. Of course the more I despised myself, the more I didn't care

what happened, and the more I would eat and the less active I would

become.

Self evaluation, a look into my prospective future, and many many

prayers brought me to a point where I new I had to make a huge change

in my life. I'd been curious about WLS for a few years without ever

really considering that it was for me. Of course it wasn't for me.

I'd read and listened enough to know I would have to be vigilant

about eating healthy and being active. Why would I want to do that

when sitting around the house doing nothing but looking for the next

bit of food to put in my mouth was much more fun, LMAO!!!!

I'd never personally known anyone who'd had WLS so I didn't have the

slightest idea of how to go about getting WLS. After a particularly

embarrasing yearly exam (feeling the doc have to spread my large

thighs with his hands 'cause even the stirups weren't far enough

apart to give him decent access) I finally fought embarrassment and

decided to ask him what he knew about WLS. Lucky for me he had

already had a few patients that had undergone WLS and had fantastic

results so he knew what resources were out there. He was frank when

he told me that he didn't advocate WLS if a patient was at a place

where diet and exercise would be beneficial, but at 5'1 " and over 300

lbs, he told me that if I researched the surgical options and still

decided that WLS was something I needed to pursue he would point me

in the right direction.

I went home and for another few weeks researched, prayed and

discussed all my options with my family. I had wonderful support and

encouragement to do what I needed. From then on it was history. I

ended up at St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City, UT, on New Year's

Eve (12/31/02), underging a RnY gastic bypass. From the moment I

could lift myself out of bed I was walking the ward floors, taking on

the dreaded potty, and ready to face my future.

This past year has been an amazing one. Filled with some obsticals

but mostly with lots of new beginnings and a whole boat load of

happiness. My family has been a wonderful rock that I could never

have gone on without and you, my friends, have been the support I

have laughed with, cried with, and needed so much through all of

this.

Take a look at my photo file (ToiBox) to see a bit of my journey.

I've just posted my latest and greatest and know that much of this

was achieved with your support.

I love you all and *sniff* know that I would could not have come so

far without your wonderful words of advice and encouragement.

Huggers to You All!

**Don't dwell on past failures, dream of future successes.**

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toi ~ Colorado

Lap RNY Medial Bypass

12/31/02

308/163/145

St. Mark's Hospital

Salt Lake City, UT

Dr. Simper

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