Re: Help me sort out my feelings....PLEASE

March 14, 2003

I'm sorry you lost one of your friends. I have two ideas:

1. You wouldn't like this person regardless of the day of her surgery.

Just a hunch.

2. I don't agree that the day someone else died can't be a special day. I

sometimes feel especially close to people who are gone on those days. It

wouldn't stop me.

Again, sorry for your loss.

Take care,

in Austin

RNY April 1998

Help me sort out my feelings....PLEASE

> In February 2002 the first WLS surgery sister had her tummy

> tuck....four days later on 03/03/02(at home) she DIED from a blood

> clot to her lungs, in the presence of one of our surgery sisters. It

> was a tough time for us all!

> We were now a group of 4 SURGERY SISTERS.

> One by one we have gathered the courage to have our own tummy tucks,

> always REMEMBERING our SURGERY SISTER IN A HEAVENLY PLACE.

> All except one of us had our tummy tuck in 2002...

> Then we all received an email from her saying some like: I am having

> my tummy tuck on 03/03/03....is that a NEAT day?

> It was like a knife peircing my heart! How could she FORGET that was

> the FIRST anniversary of the death of our SURGERY SISTER! (ONE YEAR

> AGO)I felt it WASN'T a neat day at all! It was a day to remember our

> fallen sister & /or go to the cemetery.

> I ran her " NEAT " surgery date by the other SURGERY SISTERS as well

> and they were offended and hurt as well.

> I felt she was so SELF CENTERED, that she does not think of others,

> and is not even likable....all we hear from her is ME ME ME....she is

> just so " full of herself " ....and that gets old! (She once told us

> that her co workers didn't like her since she had WLS...we can

> certainly understand why!)

March 14, 2003

I'm sorry you lost one of your friends. I have two ideas:

1. You wouldn't like this person regardless of the day of her surgery.

Just a hunch.

2. I don't agree that the day someone else died can't be a special day. I

sometimes feel especially close to people who are gone on those days. It

wouldn't stop me.

Again, sorry for your loss.

Take care,

in Austin

RNY April 1998

Help me sort out my feelings....PLEASE

> In February 2002 the first WLS surgery sister had her tummy

> tuck....four days later on 03/03/02(at home) she DIED from a blood

> clot to her lungs, in the presence of one of our surgery sisters. It

> was a tough time for us all!

> We were now a group of 4 SURGERY SISTERS.

> One by one we have gathered the courage to have our own tummy tucks,

> always REMEMBERING our SURGERY SISTER IN A HEAVENLY PLACE.

> All except one of us had our tummy tuck in 2002...

> Then we all received an email from her saying some like: I am having

> my tummy tuck on 03/03/03....is that a NEAT day?

> It was like a knife peircing my heart! How could she FORGET that was

> the FIRST anniversary of the death of our SURGERY SISTER! (ONE YEAR

> AGO)I felt it WASN'T a neat day at all! It was a day to remember our

> fallen sister & /or go to the cemetery.

> I ran her " NEAT " surgery date by the other SURGERY SISTERS as well

> and they were offended and hurt as well.

> I felt she was so SELF CENTERED, that she does not think of others,

> and is not even likable....all we hear from her is ME ME ME....she is

> just so " full of herself " ....and that gets old! (She once told us

> that her co workers didn't like her since she had WLS...we can

> certainly understand why!)

March 14, 2003

I have a tendency to " forget " dates of traumatic events. I think you might

be a little less judgmental, and be happy that she has taken the step to do

this. She certainly hasn't harmed the memory of the 5th surgery sister, in

fact, if she did remember, it might have been a " neat day " for her, because

she felt close to this lost one. In any event, I fail to see any harm done.

JMHO

Regards~

Jacque

Distal RNY, 5/30/00

Drs. Fox and Oh

310~127

Beginning BMI 50.0

Current BMI 20.4

One by one we have gathered the courage to have our own tummy tucks,

always REMEMBERING our SURGERY SISTER IN A HEAVENLY PLACE.

All except one of us had our tummy tuck in 2002...

Then we all received an email from her saying some like: I am having

my tummy tuck on 03/03/03....is that a NEAT day?

It was like a knife peircing my heart! How could she FORGET that was

the FIRST anniversary of the death of our SURGERY SISTER! (ONE YEAR

AGO)I felt it WASN'T a neat day at all! It was a day to remember our

fallen sister & /or go to the cemetery.

March 14, 2003

I have a tendency to " forget " dates of traumatic events. I think you might

be a little less judgmental, and be happy that she has taken the step to do

this. She certainly hasn't harmed the memory of the 5th surgery sister, in

fact, if she did remember, it might have been a " neat day " for her, because

she felt close to this lost one. In any event, I fail to see any harm done.

JMHO

Regards~

Jacque

Distal RNY, 5/30/00

Drs. Fox and Oh

310~127

Beginning BMI 50.0

Current BMI 20.4

One by one we have gathered the courage to have our own tummy tucks,

always REMEMBERING our SURGERY SISTER IN A HEAVENLY PLACE.

All except one of us had our tummy tuck in 2002...

Then we all received an email from her saying some like: I am having

my tummy tuck on 03/03/03....is that a NEAT day?

It was like a knife peircing my heart! How could she FORGET that was

the FIRST anniversary of the death of our SURGERY SISTER! (ONE YEAR

AGO)I felt it WASN'T a neat day at all! It was a day to remember our

fallen sister & /or go to the cemetery.

March 14, 2003

I think your surgery sister chose a wonderful date. The friend who

died went into surgery with high hopes and a good attitude, I'm

sure. It was a milestone in celebration of her successful weight

loss.

Choosing the same date acknowledges the common bond you all share and

the progress you made together. It is empowering to have your

friends spirit alongside your sister. That empowerment may also help

her to overcome her own fears and move on.

If I were to die next week skiing for the first time, I would love it

if every year my family gathered on a mountain and did a run in my

honor. They know that going skiing is the culmination of a long,

hard struggle to get in shape. By honoring me so, they recognize my

success with love and pride. They remember the upbeat me.

Vicki A.

> Hi...

> I hardly ever post here but something that has happened recently

that

> I need to " sort out " with others that do not know me or the others

> involved.

> When I started out on my WLS journey, I met 4 other women at a

> support group that were having their WLS near the same time I was

> having my surgery....we supported each other through our

anticipation

> of insurance approval and finally through our surgeries, all with

the

> same doctor, in a period of less that 2 months.

> We called ourselves the " SURGERY SISTERS " and it was a good feeling

> that know we were just a phone call or email away for support. We

> took group pictures of ourselves every 3 months...our weight loss

> pictures were a testimony to ourselves of the SURGERY SISTERS

success!

> In February 2002 the first WLS surgery sister had her tummy

> tuck....four days later on 03/03/02(at home) she DIED from a blood

> clot to her lungs, in the presence of one of our surgery sisters.

It

> was a tough time for us all!

> We were now a group of 4 SURGERY SISTERS.

> One by one we have gathered the courage to have our own tummy

tucks,

> always REMEMBERING our SURGERY SISTER IN A HEAVENLY PLACE.

> All except one of us had our tummy tuck in 2002...

> Then we all received an email from her saying some like: I am

having

> my tummy tuck on 03/03/03....is that a NEAT day?

> It was like a knife peircing my heart! How could she FORGET that

was

> the FIRST anniversary of the death of our SURGERY SISTER! (ONE YEAR

> AGO)I felt it WASN'T a neat day at all! It was a day to remember

our

> fallen sister & /or go to the cemetery.

> I ran her " NEAT " surgery date by the other SURGERY SISTERS as well

> and they were offended and hurt as well.

> I felt she was so SELF CENTERED, that she does not think of others,

> and is not even likable....all we hear from her is ME ME ME....she

is

> just so " full of herself " ....and that gets old! (She once told us

> that her co workers didn't like her since she had WLS...we can

> certainly understand why!)

> When I was about to have my tummy tuck, I was offered September

> 11....and even though I knew NO ONE personally that DIED that

> horrible day, I refused that surgery date and postponed it for a

week.

> I am just really disappointed in this woman, and I no longer

consider

> her a SURGERY SISTER...I know I am NOT alone in these feeling.

> WE are now the THREE SURGERY SISTERS....our numbers diminish.

> Am I/Are we being too harsh by following my/our gut feelings about

> this woman? How do we deal with her? Please....I NEED your input!

> Thank You!

>

> After writing this....NOW I am struggling to click the " SEND "

> button...

March 14, 2003

I think your surgery sister chose a wonderful date. The friend who

died went into surgery with high hopes and a good attitude, I'm

sure. It was a milestone in celebration of her successful weight

loss.

Choosing the same date acknowledges the common bond you all share and

the progress you made together. It is empowering to have your

friends spirit alongside your sister. That empowerment may also help

her to overcome her own fears and move on.

If I were to die next week skiing for the first time, I would love it

if every year my family gathered on a mountain and did a run in my

honor. They know that going skiing is the culmination of a long,

hard struggle to get in shape. By honoring me so, they recognize my

success with love and pride. They remember the upbeat me.

Vicki A.

> Hi...

> I hardly ever post here but something that has happened recently

that

> I need to " sort out " with others that do not know me or the others

> involved.

> When I started out on my WLS journey, I met 4 other women at a

> support group that were having their WLS near the same time I was

> having my surgery....we supported each other through our

anticipation

> of insurance approval and finally through our surgeries, all with

the

> same doctor, in a period of less that 2 months.

> We called ourselves the " SURGERY SISTERS " and it was a good feeling

> that know we were just a phone call or email away for support. We

> took group pictures of ourselves every 3 months...our weight loss

> pictures were a testimony to ourselves of the SURGERY SISTERS

success!

> In February 2002 the first WLS surgery sister had her tummy

> tuck....four days later on 03/03/02(at home) she DIED from a blood

> clot to her lungs, in the presence of one of our surgery sisters.

It

> was a tough time for us all!

> We were now a group of 4 SURGERY SISTERS.

> One by one we have gathered the courage to have our own tummy

tucks,

> always REMEMBERING our SURGERY SISTER IN A HEAVENLY PLACE.

> All except one of us had our tummy tuck in 2002...

> Then we all received an email from her saying some like: I am

having

> my tummy tuck on 03/03/03....is that a NEAT day?

> It was like a knife peircing my heart! How could she FORGET that

was

> the FIRST anniversary of the death of our SURGERY SISTER! (ONE YEAR

> AGO)I felt it WASN'T a neat day at all! It was a day to remember

our

> fallen sister & /or go to the cemetery.

> I ran her " NEAT " surgery date by the other SURGERY SISTERS as well

> and they were offended and hurt as well.

> I felt she was so SELF CENTERED, that she does not think of others,

> and is not even likable....all we hear from her is ME ME ME....she

is

> just so " full of herself " ....and that gets old! (She once told us

> that her co workers didn't like her since she had WLS...we can

> certainly understand why!)

> When I was about to have my tummy tuck, I was offered September

> 11....and even though I knew NO ONE personally that DIED that

> horrible day, I refused that surgery date and postponed it for a

week.

> I am just really disappointed in this woman, and I no longer

consider

> her a SURGERY SISTER...I know I am NOT alone in these feeling.

> WE are now the THREE SURGERY SISTERS....our numbers diminish.

> Am I/Are we being too harsh by following my/our gut feelings about

> this woman? How do we deal with her? Please....I NEED your input!

> Thank You!

>

> After writing this....NOW I am struggling to click the " SEND "

> button...

March 14, 2003

Well, I think it is kinda a " personal " thing......this woman might be

finding it " honoring " to have her surgery the same day....and be thinking it

of as a " tribute " to your fallen surgery sister. But then again she might

be a self-centered s--- and not be thinking of it at all. Guess I would

have to find out which one it was and then go from there.........

Help me sort out my feelings....PLEASE

> Hi...

> I hardly ever post here but something that has happened recently that

> I need to " sort out " with others that do not know me or the others

> involved.

> When I started out on my WLS journey, I met 4 other women at a

> support group that were having their WLS near the same time I was

> having my surgery....we supported each other through our anticipation

> of insurance approval and finally through our surgeries, all with the

> same doctor, in a period of less that 2 months.

> We called ourselves the " SURGERY SISTERS " and it was a good feeling

> that know we were just a phone call or email away for support. We

> took group pictures of ourselves every 3 months...our weight loss

> pictures were a testimony to ourselves of the SURGERY SISTERS success!

> In February 2002 the first WLS surgery sister had her tummy

> tuck....four days later on 03/03/02(at home) she DIED from a blood

> clot to her lungs, in the presence of one of our surgery sisters. It

> was a tough time for us all!

> We were now a group of 4 SURGERY SISTERS.

> One by one we have gathered the courage to have our own tummy tucks,

> always REMEMBERING our SURGERY SISTER IN A HEAVENLY PLACE.

> All except one of us had our tummy tuck in 2002...

> Then we all received an email from her saying some like: I am having

> my tummy tuck on 03/03/03....is that a NEAT day?

> It was like a knife peircing my heart! How could she FORGET that was

> the FIRST anniversary of the death of our SURGERY SISTER! (ONE YEAR

> AGO)I felt it WASN'T a neat day at all! It was a day to remember our

> fallen sister & /or go to the cemetery.

> I ran her " NEAT " surgery date by the other SURGERY SISTERS as well

> and they were offended and hurt as well.

> I felt she was so SELF CENTERED, that she does not think of others,

> and is not even likable....all we hear from her is ME ME ME....she is

> just so " full of herself " ....and that gets old! (She once told us

> that her co workers didn't like her since she had WLS...we can

> certainly understand why!)

> When I was about to have my tummy tuck, I was offered September

> 11....and even though I knew NO ONE personally that DIED that

> horrible day, I refused that surgery date and postponed it for a week.

> I am just really disappointed in this woman, and I no longer consider

> her a SURGERY SISTER...I know I am NOT alone in these feeling.

> WE are now the THREE SURGERY SISTERS....our numbers diminish.

> Am I/Are we being too harsh by following my/our gut feelings about

> this woman? How do we deal with her? Please....I NEED your input!

> Thank You!

>

> After writing this....NOW I am struggling to click the " SEND "

> button...

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

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>

March 14, 2003