Help me sort out my feelings....PLEASE

March 14, 2003

Hi...

I hardly ever post here but something that has happened recently that

I need to " sort out " with others that do not know me or the others

involved.

When I started out on my WLS journey, I met 4 other women at a

support group that were having their WLS near the same time I was

having my surgery....we supported each other through our anticipation

of insurance approval and finally through our surgeries, all with the

same doctor, in a period of less that 2 months.

We called ourselves the " SURGERY SISTERS " and it was a good feeling

that know we were just a phone call or email away for support. We

took group pictures of ourselves every 3 months...our weight loss

pictures were a testimony to ourselves of the SURGERY SISTERS success!

In February 2002 the first WLS surgery sister had her tummy

tuck....four days later on 03/03/02(at home) she DIED from a blood

clot to her lungs, in the presence of one of our surgery sisters. It

was a tough time for us all!

We were now a group of 4 SURGERY SISTERS.

One by one we have gathered the courage to have our own tummy tucks,

always REMEMBERING our SURGERY SISTER IN A HEAVENLY PLACE.

All except one of us had our tummy tuck in 2002...

Then we all received an email from her saying some like: I am having

my tummy tuck on 03/03/03....is that a NEAT day?

It was like a knife peircing my heart! How could she FORGET that was

the FIRST anniversary of the death of our SURGERY SISTER! (ONE YEAR

AGO)I felt it WASN'T a neat day at all! It was a day to remember our

fallen sister & /or go to the cemetery.

I ran her " NEAT " surgery date by the other SURGERY SISTERS as well

and they were offended and hurt as well.

I felt she was so SELF CENTERED, that she does not think of others,

and is not even likable....all we hear from her is ME ME ME....she is

just so " full of herself " ....and that gets old! (She once told us

that her co workers didn't like her since she had WLS...we can

certainly understand why!)

When I was about to have my tummy tuck, I was offered September

11....and even though I knew NO ONE personally that DIED that

horrible day, I refused that surgery date and postponed it for a week.

I am just really disappointed in this woman, and I no longer consider

her a SURGERY SISTER...I know I am NOT alone in these feeling.

WE are now the THREE SURGERY SISTERS....our numbers diminish.

Am I/Are we being too harsh by following my/our gut feelings about

this woman? How do we deal with her? Please....I NEED your input!

Thank You!

After writing this....NOW I am struggling to click the " SEND "

button...

March 14, 2003