Re: Need some help for my MIL

[Guest guest]

Thanks, I guess that is what we all have to accept, it is just a

bitter pill to swallow. If it had to be re-done once, I could

accept that, but this is going on the 3rd time!! (in less than 2

months!!)

I think I am more worried this time for her safety #1 and 2nd, I am

worried for selfish reasons. I am worried that the 3rd time around,

she is going to need more after care than what I am willing to give.

She has her doc so buffalo'd that it has been of little use to talk

with him. I was just hoping I could get some worst case scenario

things to scare her before she gets out of the hospital this next

time, so we wont be going thru this a 4th or 5th time.

Thanks

> I don't think you can help her. The surgery has to be

> re-done. Afterall, what can you do about it now? If

> she's not willing to change, that's her problem

[Guest guest]

Thanks, I guess that is what we all have to accept, it is just a

bitter pill to swallow. If it had to be re-done once, I could

accept that, but this is going on the 3rd time!! (in less than 2

months!!)

I think I am more worried this time for her safety #1 and 2nd, I am

worried for selfish reasons. I am worried that the 3rd time around,

she is going to need more after care than what I am willing to give.

She has her doc so buffalo'd that it has been of little use to talk

with him. I was just hoping I could get some worst case scenario

things to scare her before she gets out of the hospital this next

time, so we wont be going thru this a 4th or 5th time.

Thanks

> I don't think you can help her. The surgery has to be

> re-done. Afterall, what can you do about it now? If

> she's not willing to change, that's her problem

[Guest guest]

I guess what you can try to do now depends on how " in her face " you

wish to get. First thing off the top of my head is to ask her two

questions: 1) What does she want on her tombstone? (not the

pizza) 2) Will she help you write her obituary so that you know it

says what she wants it to say and pick out the photo that she wants

to go with it. In doing so I would be extremely serious and insist

on her answers. With that aside, she is obviously choosing to go

this path and has heard the info, plus is suffering through the

surgeries so it appears she has made her decision. It is sad when

family has to suffer when they worry so much about a loved one, but

I really don't see any solutions here. Now, you need to find a way

to live with her choice and just take her as she is. She is most

likely not going to change. You need to take care of you in this so

that this stress is not adversely affecting your life.

> Thank you for having this site. Maybe someone can help us, or

point

> us in the right direction for more information to help my mother

in

> law

>

> My Mother-in-law had a Bypass (Staples) about 6 years ago. After

> she had the surgery, She did everything possible wrong. Her diet

> was horrid, no exercise, 12 pack of Coke a day, had dumping from

day

> one..etc etc etc.

>

> She did loose weight, but was always sick (Ya can't imagine why

can

> you? )

>

> Well..December 17 2003, she had a (I know I am going to mess up on

> some of these terms so please bear with me) Fissure at the site

were

> the stomache was closed. (Staples pulled away in the pouch? or

> something like that) She had that fixed, lost alot of blood and

had

> to be in ICU for 5 days, then on a regular floor for another few

> days. When she had the repair work done, which was basically a

> whole new Gastric bypass redone, she kept the stretched out pouch

> because she wanted to continue with her unhealthy lifestyle.

>

> Well....She was sent home, and popped open a Coke on her way home

> from the hospital. (She has a daughter who doesn't belive the

Coke

> could be the Problem and bought her the pop) The hospital nor the

> dietician stressed to her about her diet and the importance of

> healthy eating...

>

> She ended up back in the hospital on December 26th dehydrated and

> never told the Docs she was drinking the Cokes or tried to

> eat " normal " food. She figured (Even after being told) that since

> she didn't get her pouch reduced the second time that she could

just

> continue with life the way it was before December 17th. The

> hospital rehydrated her and sent her back home. Before she was

> discharged, I explained to her hospital staff about her eating

> habits. The nurse went Nose to Nose with her and STRESSED the

> importance of NO CARBONATION, NO SUGAR etc...

>

> She again choose not to listen....and she continues to have

the " bad

> stuff "

>

> Well I just found out last night,(As she called while waiting for

> her Pizza to come) that she again has infection and the mesh is

> coming thru and will have to undergo the surgery for a third time

> next week!! That is 2 By-passes in less than 2 months

>

> How do we help her? How do we get the doctor to stop performing

> these Fixes when she is just going to continue slowly killing

> herself?

>

> We are at our wits end with this. I don't think she realizes the

> seriousness of her situation.

>

> I am looking for Facts, Things that say " YOU CAN NOT HAVE

CARBONATED

> DRINKS RIGHT AFTER SURGERY BECAUSE... " " YOU HAVE TO WATCH YOUR

DIET

> BECAUSE... " will happen.

>

> I found all kinds of things talking about Dumping and how you are

> not supposed to have Carbonated drinks, but I need information on

> what happens to your body after you have the items and what can

> happen to you. The consequences like tube feeding and even death.

>

> I am sorry this is so long winded...

> Amygoose3

[Guest guest]

I guess what you can try to do now depends on how " in her face " you

wish to get. First thing off the top of my head is to ask her two

questions: 1) What does she want on her tombstone? (not the

pizza) 2) Will she help you write her obituary so that you know it

says what she wants it to say and pick out the photo that she wants

to go with it. In doing so I would be extremely serious and insist

on her answers. With that aside, she is obviously choosing to go

this path and has heard the info, plus is suffering through the

surgeries so it appears she has made her decision. It is sad when

family has to suffer when they worry so much about a loved one, but

I really don't see any solutions here. Now, you need to find a way

to live with her choice and just take her as she is. She is most

likely not going to change. You need to take care of you in this so

that this stress is not adversely affecting your life.

> Thank you for having this site. Maybe someone can help us, or

point

> us in the right direction for more information to help my mother

in

> law

>

> My Mother-in-law had a Bypass (Staples) about 6 years ago. After

> she had the surgery, She did everything possible wrong. Her diet

> was horrid, no exercise, 12 pack of Coke a day, had dumping from

day

> one..etc etc etc.

>

> She did loose weight, but was always sick (Ya can't imagine why

can

> you? )

>

> Well..December 17 2003, she had a (I know I am going to mess up on

> some of these terms so please bear with me) Fissure at the site

were

> the stomache was closed. (Staples pulled away in the pouch? or

> something like that) She had that fixed, lost alot of blood and

had

> to be in ICU for 5 days, then on a regular floor for another few

> days. When she had the repair work done, which was basically a

> whole new Gastric bypass redone, she kept the stretched out pouch

> because she wanted to continue with her unhealthy lifestyle.

>

> Well....She was sent home, and popped open a Coke on her way home

> from the hospital. (She has a daughter who doesn't belive the

Coke

> could be the Problem and bought her the pop) The hospital nor the

> dietician stressed to her about her diet and the importance of

> healthy eating...

>

> She ended up back in the hospital on December 26th dehydrated and

> never told the Docs she was drinking the Cokes or tried to

> eat " normal " food. She figured (Even after being told) that since

> she didn't get her pouch reduced the second time that she could

just

> continue with life the way it was before December 17th. The

> hospital rehydrated her and sent her back home. Before she was

> discharged, I explained to her hospital staff about her eating

> habits. The nurse went Nose to Nose with her and STRESSED the

> importance of NO CARBONATION, NO SUGAR etc...

>

> She again choose not to listen....and she continues to have

the " bad

> stuff "

>

> Well I just found out last night,(As she called while waiting for

> her Pizza to come) that she again has infection and the mesh is

> coming thru and will have to undergo the surgery for a third time

> next week!! That is 2 By-passes in less than 2 months

>

> How do we help her? How do we get the doctor to stop performing

> these Fixes when she is just going to continue slowly killing

> herself?

>

> We are at our wits end with this. I don't think she realizes the

> seriousness of her situation.

>

> I am looking for Facts, Things that say " YOU CAN NOT HAVE

CARBONATED

> DRINKS RIGHT AFTER SURGERY BECAUSE... " " YOU HAVE TO WATCH YOUR

DIET

> BECAUSE... " will happen.

>

> I found all kinds of things talking about Dumping and how you are

> not supposed to have Carbonated drinks, but I need information on

> what happens to your body after you have the items and what can

> happen to you. The consequences like tube feeding and even death.

>

> I am sorry this is so long winded...

> Amygoose3

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for your help with my MIL.

My neighbor had a Very successful bypass last August, She looks

great, feels great, has no problems and would do it again in a heart

beat! There are others who I know that have had this done and they

all had no problems, look great and feel like a millon bucks!

Then I look at my MIL and just shake my head....

We had a family meeting last night and have decided on having an

intervention as soon as she recovers from this 3rd surgery, while

she is still in the hospital with her docs and the nurses present.

I really liked the idea of having her write her own Obituary, and

contacting Al-anon.

You guys are really a blessing!

I would never discourage anyone from having this done, but please

follow your docs orders.

Good Luck to everyone either Pre-op or Post-op. I found some GREAT

info on your website, and from going thru the posts. Have you

thought of putting all of that info in book form?

Thank you again for helping us through this. I will check back from

time to time and let everyone know how the 3rd surgery and

intervention has gone.

Thanks again

Amy

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for your help with my MIL.

My neighbor had a Very successful bypass last August, She looks

great, feels great, has no problems and would do it again in a heart

beat! There are others who I know that have had this done and they

all had no problems, look great and feel like a millon bucks!

Then I look at my MIL and just shake my head....

We had a family meeting last night and have decided on having an

intervention as soon as she recovers from this 3rd surgery, while

she is still in the hospital with her docs and the nurses present.

I really liked the idea of having her write her own Obituary, and

contacting Al-anon.

You guys are really a blessing!

I would never discourage anyone from having this done, but please

follow your docs orders.

Good Luck to everyone either Pre-op or Post-op. I found some GREAT

info on your website, and from going thru the posts. Have you

thought of putting all of that info in book form?

Thank you again for helping us through this. I will check back from

time to time and let everyone know how the 3rd surgery and

intervention has gone.

Thanks again

Amy

[Guest guest]

Amy,

Get a zip lock baggie and a can of coke, take it to your MIL's house,

pour the coke in the baggie and close it tightly.....then watch it for a

while. When it starts to expand and balloon, tell her that's what is

happening to her stomach every time she drinks one. Then take her

outside and pour a coke over her car battery.....explain that's what is

going to happen to her insides if she doesn't quit. That's just one

suggestion. As to the rest, everyone is right, she is not going to

change her eating habits unless she really wants it. Why did she have

the surgery anyway? Her doctor must have not been very good with the

pre-surgery counseling and explanations.......jmo

T.

Lap RNY 6/20/03

432/281/170

Houston, Dr. Adam Naaman

Visit my homepage at http://users3.ev1.net/~leeds/

" I will find my way, I can go the distance. I'll be there someday if I

can be strong, I know every mile will be worth my while, I would go most

anywhere to fell like I belong. "

[Guest guest]

Amy,

Get a zip lock baggie and a can of coke, take it to your MIL's house,

pour the coke in the baggie and close it tightly.....then watch it for a

while. When it starts to expand and balloon, tell her that's what is

happening to her stomach every time she drinks one. Then take her

outside and pour a coke over her car battery.....explain that's what is

going to happen to her insides if she doesn't quit. That's just one

suggestion. As to the rest, everyone is right, she is not going to

change her eating habits unless she really wants it. Why did she have

the surgery anyway? Her doctor must have not been very good with the

pre-surgery counseling and explanations.......jmo

T.

Lap RNY 6/20/03

432/281/170

Houston, Dr. Adam Naaman

Visit my homepage at http://users3.ev1.net/~leeds/

" I will find my way, I can go the distance. I'll be there someday if I

can be strong, I know every mile will be worth my while, I would go most

anywhere to fell like I belong. "

[Guest guest]

Any....You are being really brave. I have a lot of compassion for

both you and your MIL. Here is the Al-Anon website http://www.al-

anon.alateen.org/

There is also Overeaters Anonymous for her perhaps. The 12 step

thing isn't for everyone, but as you can see from all the other

sites that people have lised that there is a lot of help for her out

there.

There is a wonderful woman Bliss, who has a self care program

built around self-love. Sounds like your MIL needs a whole bunch of

self love! She primary works with large size woman, but she has

fabulous excercise videos for all sizes and her program is just a

pretty good self care program. Some of her basic materials are free

and you can print them off Bliss.com

Again, I will pray for all of you.

> Thank you all for your help with my MIL.

>

> My neighbor had a Very successful bypass last August, She looks

> great, feels great, has no problems and would do it again in a

heart

> beat! There are others who I know that have had this done and

they

> all had no problems, look great and feel like a millon bucks!

>

> Then I look at my MIL and just shake my head....

>

> We had a family meeting last night and have decided on having an

> intervention as soon as she recovers from this 3rd surgery, while

> she is still in the hospital with her docs and the nurses

present.

> I really liked the idea of having her write her own Obituary, and

> contacting Al-anon.

>

> You guys are really a blessing!

>

> I would never discourage anyone from having this done, but please

> follow your docs orders.

>

> Good Luck to everyone either Pre-op or Post-op. I found some

GREAT

> info on your website, and from going thru the posts. Have you

> thought of putting all of that info in book form?

>

> Thank you again for helping us through this. I will check back

from

> time to time and let everyone know how the 3rd surgery and

> intervention has gone.

>

> Thanks again

> Amy

[Guest guest]

Any....You are being really brave. I have a lot of compassion for

both you and your MIL. Here is the Al-Anon website http://www.al-

anon.alateen.org/

There is also Overeaters Anonymous for her perhaps. The 12 step

thing isn't for everyone, but as you can see from all the other

sites that people have lised that there is a lot of help for her out

there.

There is a wonderful woman Bliss, who has a self care program

built around self-love. Sounds like your MIL needs a whole bunch of

self love! She primary works with large size woman, but she has

fabulous excercise videos for all sizes and her program is just a

pretty good self care program. Some of her basic materials are free

and you can print them off Bliss.com

Again, I will pray for all of you.

> Thank you all for your help with my MIL.

>

> My neighbor had a Very successful bypass last August, She looks

> great, feels great, has no problems and would do it again in a

heart

> beat! There are others who I know that have had this done and

they

> all had no problems, look great and feel like a millon bucks!

>

> Then I look at my MIL and just shake my head....

>

> We had a family meeting last night and have decided on having an

> intervention as soon as she recovers from this 3rd surgery, while

> she is still in the hospital with her docs and the nurses

present.

> I really liked the idea of having her write her own Obituary, and

> contacting Al-anon.

>

> You guys are really a blessing!

>

> I would never discourage anyone from having this done, but please

> follow your docs orders.

>

> Good Luck to everyone either Pre-op or Post-op. I found some

GREAT

> info on your website, and from going thru the posts. Have you

> thought of putting all of that info in book form?

>

> Thank you again for helping us through this. I will check back

from

> time to time and let everyone know how the 3rd surgery and

> intervention has gone.

>

> Thanks again

> Amy