Thanks for the responses...

[Guest guest]

I really want to thank everyone who posted helpful responses to my

intro post the other day, either on the list or in email. It was

especially nice to see that some of you got exactly what I was

talking about! and /Vitalady, in particular--you both

said things that could have come right out of my own mouth. )

Unfortunately, some people seemed to think that the point of the post

was to whine about not losing enough and/or obsess about not getting

to a perfect weight. I really do appreciate people trying to help,

but I honestly felt like some of the responses I got were not even

ABOUT my post, lol. But that's okay, because the way I look at it is,

we are ALL learning ALL the time, and we are all in different places

in the process, so we're just not all going to understand each other

perfectly 100% of the time. C'est la vie. )

Just to clarify, though, NO WAY was I complaining about the amount I

have lost. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I swear!

The main thing was that a few people really did understand what I was

talking about, and that was really a relief! The psychological

process involved with this journey is really something, isn't it? I

never get tired of talking and thinking about it, because it totally

fascinates me. All the body image issues and SELF image issues (not

necessarily the same thing, although they're closely related) that we

grapple with are really intriguing to me. Both the emotional aspects

and the aspect that is purely perceptual--the part that involves the

brain trying to process the physical changes that have taken place

and construct a new image of ourselves as we are NOW rather than as

we were before the weight loss. That's really what that whole post

was about.

As far as being obsessed with getting to a specific goal, that's not

my issue at all. I do seem to have a desire to quantify things--that

just happens to be the kind of mind I have--and it was bothering me

that I didn't have a goal that I could use to quantify what I have

accomplished. You know how people talk about being " at goal " or X no.

of pounds away from that, or whatever--well, I've never been able to

do that, and when it was time to introduce myself to a new group of

people and describe where I am now, I couldn't figure out what to say

since I couldn't say whether I had reached " goal " or not. Sounds kind

of silly in a way, but that was a real quandary in my mind at the

time I wrote that post. Writing all that helped me process some

things a little more, though, and I realize now that even though I do

still feel a bit odd not being able to make a statement about where I

am in realation to " goal, " it really is NOT all that important in the

grand scheme of things. I think I already knew that on some level,

but I know it a little better now.

I'm still having a lot of trouble figuring out what I actually look

like. There's a full-length mirror in the ladies room where I work,

and every time I go in there, I usually take a look at myself. (It's

kind of hard to avoid, because it's right across from the sinks,

lol.) Sometimes I feel really good about what I see (especially if I

happen to be wearing an outfit that I feel particularly good

in...something that fits and/or hangs particularly well). But other

times, I get really down in the dumps about the way my skin looks.

I'm VERY happy to no longer have the fat, but there's no getting

around the fact that the extra skin is physically uncomfortable as

well as unattractive. I feel good because I'm thinner and healthier,

but a lot of the time I don't feel particularly attractive. (I know

healthier is more important, but what's wrong with wanting both,

goshdarn it? ;oÞ) The way I feel about it fluctuates a lot--I have

moments when I feel rather good about how I look and other moments

when I feel freakish and grotesque. Do I actually LOOK freakish and

grotesque? Geez, I don't know, lol--like I said before, I really

don't know what I look like for sure. I just know I have issues about

the skin and about my appearance in general that I still have to work

through. If there's a chance this stuff may eventually tighten up on

its own just a little bit, I'm glad to know it--but at almost 53, I'm

wondering if that actually applies to me or not. It is a brutal fact

that when you're over 50, your skin does NOT have the elasticity that

a younger person's does. Only time will tell, of course. But in time,

I imagine I'll probably become more comfortable with the situation,

one way or the other. The whole thing is still so new right now--

which is something I need to keep reminding myself of.

I'm also trying to adjust to the whole idea of staying at roughly the

same weight from here on out. The phase when you're actively losing

weight is so different--the highs are amazing. All the milestones

going by, all the drama of the physical changes, constantly shopping

for smaller clothes, watching the numbers on the scale go down, etc.

etc. Then, all of a sudden, that part is over...which you always knew

it would be, of course, but experiencing it is something else. Did

anyone else experience kind of an empty feeling when that phase was

over?

Of course we KNOW all along that we will eventually stop losing.

That's a given. But now that I'm here, it feels like alien territory.

(I know it's possible that I might still drop a few more, but let's

face it, it ain't gonna be anything dramatic at this point. *grin*

And I'll still have to adjust to the maintenance phase at some point

in the very near future.) I've never maintained at a healthy weight

for any length of time before, and I have no confidence yet in my

ability to do so. Only time and experience will show me that I can do

it. (There we are back to " time " being the solution to something

again, lol.) I wish I could have prepared myself for this better--but

I had any idea how to go about that--nor did I realize it was going

to be such a tough adjustment.

Anyhow...I have just rambled on for a long time, so I think it's time

to cut this short. Thanks again!

Sharon

[Guest guest]

I really want to thank everyone who posted helpful responses to my

intro post the other day, either on the list or in email. It was

especially nice to see that some of you got exactly what I was

talking about! and /Vitalady, in particular--you both

said things that could have come right out of my own mouth. )

Unfortunately, some people seemed to think that the point of the post

was to whine about not losing enough and/or obsess about not getting

to a perfect weight. I really do appreciate people trying to help,

but I honestly felt like some of the responses I got were not even

ABOUT my post, lol. But that's okay, because the way I look at it is,

we are ALL learning ALL the time, and we are all in different places

in the process, so we're just not all going to understand each other

perfectly 100% of the time. C'est la vie. )

Just to clarify, though, NO WAY was I complaining about the amount I

have lost. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I swear!

The main thing was that a few people really did understand what I was

talking about, and that was really a relief! The psychological

process involved with this journey is really something, isn't it? I

never get tired of talking and thinking about it, because it totally

fascinates me. All the body image issues and SELF image issues (not

necessarily the same thing, although they're closely related) that we

grapple with are really intriguing to me. Both the emotional aspects

and the aspect that is purely perceptual--the part that involves the

brain trying to process the physical changes that have taken place

and construct a new image of ourselves as we are NOW rather than as

we were before the weight loss. That's really what that whole post

was about.

As far as being obsessed with getting to a specific goal, that's not

my issue at all. I do seem to have a desire to quantify things--that

just happens to be the kind of mind I have--and it was bothering me

that I didn't have a goal that I could use to quantify what I have

accomplished. You know how people talk about being " at goal " or X no.

of pounds away from that, or whatever--well, I've never been able to

do that, and when it was time to introduce myself to a new group of

people and describe where I am now, I couldn't figure out what to say

since I couldn't say whether I had reached " goal " or not. Sounds kind

of silly in a way, but that was a real quandary in my mind at the

time I wrote that post. Writing all that helped me process some

things a little more, though, and I realize now that even though I do

still feel a bit odd not being able to make a statement about where I

am in realation to " goal, " it really is NOT all that important in the

grand scheme of things. I think I already knew that on some level,

but I know it a little better now.

I'm still having a lot of trouble figuring out what I actually look

like. There's a full-length mirror in the ladies room where I work,

and every time I go in there, I usually take a look at myself. (It's

kind of hard to avoid, because it's right across from the sinks,

lol.) Sometimes I feel really good about what I see (especially if I

happen to be wearing an outfit that I feel particularly good

in...something that fits and/or hangs particularly well). But other

times, I get really down in the dumps about the way my skin looks.

I'm VERY happy to no longer have the fat, but there's no getting

around the fact that the extra skin is physically uncomfortable as

well as unattractive. I feel good because I'm thinner and healthier,

but a lot of the time I don't feel particularly attractive. (I know

healthier is more important, but what's wrong with wanting both,

goshdarn it? ;oÞ) The way I feel about it fluctuates a lot--I have

moments when I feel rather good about how I look and other moments

when I feel freakish and grotesque. Do I actually LOOK freakish and

grotesque? Geez, I don't know, lol--like I said before, I really

don't know what I look like for sure. I just know I have issues about

the skin and about my appearance in general that I still have to work

through. If there's a chance this stuff may eventually tighten up on

its own just a little bit, I'm glad to know it--but at almost 53, I'm

wondering if that actually applies to me or not. It is a brutal fact

that when you're over 50, your skin does NOT have the elasticity that

a younger person's does. Only time will tell, of course. But in time,

I imagine I'll probably become more comfortable with the situation,

one way or the other. The whole thing is still so new right now--

which is something I need to keep reminding myself of.

I'm also trying to adjust to the whole idea of staying at roughly the

same weight from here on out. The phase when you're actively losing

weight is so different--the highs are amazing. All the milestones

going by, all the drama of the physical changes, constantly shopping

for smaller clothes, watching the numbers on the scale go down, etc.

etc. Then, all of a sudden, that part is over...which you always knew

it would be, of course, but experiencing it is something else. Did

anyone else experience kind of an empty feeling when that phase was

over?

Of course we KNOW all along that we will eventually stop losing.

That's a given. But now that I'm here, it feels like alien territory.

(I know it's possible that I might still drop a few more, but let's

face it, it ain't gonna be anything dramatic at this point. *grin*

And I'll still have to adjust to the maintenance phase at some point

in the very near future.) I've never maintained at a healthy weight

for any length of time before, and I have no confidence yet in my

ability to do so. Only time and experience will show me that I can do

it. (There we are back to " time " being the solution to something

again, lol.) I wish I could have prepared myself for this better--but

I had any idea how to go about that--nor did I realize it was going

to be such a tough adjustment.

Anyhow...I have just rambled on for a long time, so I think it's time

to cut this short. Thanks again!

Sharon