Guest guest Posted March 18, 2003 Report Share Posted March 18, 2003 In a message dated 3/19/2003 6:28:37 AM Eastern Standard Time, watnext@... writes: << Humor is very necessary. >> Yes, and I don't have all the time in the world either. I can quickly skim through 50 posts about peeps, mayo, mustard and pickles and it lets me peer into the hearts of individuals, seeing a bit of personality and background. We learn who loves dogs, horses, cats and kids. We learn who is sensitive about particular matters and it helps us to not unknowingly hurt them with a careless remark in the future. Some of these irate posts about staying on topic make me want to hug that person cause I know they are not in a good place at that time....but then again when I'm in a sorry place myself and I read what I perceive to be a demanding, controlling irate posts I want to write a little essay about how to remove a stick from the butt. B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2003 Report Share Posted March 18, 2003 In a message dated 3/19/2003 6:28:37 AM Eastern Standard Time, watnext@... writes: << Humor is very necessary. >> Yes, and I don't have all the time in the world either. I can quickly skim through 50 posts about peeps, mayo, mustard and pickles and it lets me peer into the hearts of individuals, seeing a bit of personality and background. We learn who loves dogs, horses, cats and kids. We learn who is sensitive about particular matters and it helps us to not unknowingly hurt them with a careless remark in the future. Some of these irate posts about staying on topic make me want to hug that person cause I know they are not in a good place at that time....but then again when I'm in a sorry place myself and I read what I perceive to be a demanding, controlling irate posts I want to write a little essay about how to remove a stick from the butt. B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2003 Report Share Posted March 19, 2003 It strikes me as incredibly arrogant and presumptuous to say that if someone complains about off-topic posts that " they are not in a good place. " Geez!!!! Why is it, and this is a purely rhetorical question, that when people ask nicely for the group to be respectful of people's time, edit their replies, send personal replies to the person they apply to, and try to stay fairly well on topic, that they are always told to " just use the delete key. " If people don't agree or care to even consider and perhaps try a little to respect these requests, why can't THEY just " use the delete key " and ignore it, like they're asking the other people to? Sheesh! in Austin RNY April 1998 Re: Re: Off Topic Posts > In a message dated 3/19/2003 6:28:37 AM Eastern Standard Time, > watnext@... writes: > > << Humor is very necessary. >> > careless remark in the future. Some of these irate posts about staying on > topic make me want to hug that person cause I know they are not in a good > place at that time....but then again when I'm in a sorry place myself and I > read what I perceive to be a demanding, controlling irate posts I want to > write a little essay about how to remove a stick from the butt. > B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2003 Report Share Posted March 19, 2003 It strikes me as incredibly arrogant and presumptuous to say that if someone complains about off-topic posts that " they are not in a good place. " Geez!!!! Why is it, and this is a purely rhetorical question, that when people ask nicely for the group to be respectful of people's time, edit their replies, send personal replies to the person they apply to, and try to stay fairly well on topic, that they are always told to " just use the delete key. " If people don't agree or care to even consider and perhaps try a little to respect these requests, why can't THEY just " use the delete key " and ignore it, like they're asking the other people to? Sheesh! in Austin RNY April 1998 Re: Re: Off Topic Posts > In a message dated 3/19/2003 6:28:37 AM Eastern Standard Time, > watnext@... writes: > > << Humor is very necessary. >> > careless remark in the future. Some of these irate posts about staying on > topic make me want to hug that person cause I know they are not in a good > place at that time....but then again when I'm in a sorry place myself and I > read what I perceive to be a demanding, controlling irate posts I want to > write a little essay about how to remove a stick from the butt. > B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2003 Report Share Posted March 19, 2003 In a message dated 3/19/2003 10:08:55 AM Eastern Standard Time, YahooDave@... writes: > people don't agree or care to even consider and perhaps try a little to > respect these requests, why can't THEY just " use the delete key " and ignore > it, like they're asking the other people to? > You have a point. Fay Bayuk **300/170 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2003 Report Share Posted March 19, 2003 In a message dated 3/19/2003 10:08:55 AM Eastern Standard Time, YahooDave@... writes: > people don't agree or care to even consider and perhaps try a little to > respect these requests, why can't THEY just " use the delete key " and ignore > it, like they're asking the other people to? > You have a point. Fay Bayuk **300/170 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2003 Report Share Posted March 19, 2003 I wanted to say I understand both sides of this, only too well. I think the fun is necessary to camaraderie. Might be eccentric of me, but I'm not sure I care to share my innermost guts with people without personalities or any " depth " . The OT give " depth " to personalities. I understand the frustration of the newbies who come here hoping for a steady font of wisdom and answers to all problems. I joined an Alzheimer's list and there were about 150 posts a day, not a big deal since I get hundreds now. But on that list, I was hungry, starving, parched for info. And there were prolly a dozen people a day who just greeted one another, and another dozen who greeted back. Talked about their lives, planting bulbs, picking roses.......... AAAAAAAAAAA!!! I just wanted to SCREAM: GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND GIMME IT NOW! oh At once I had an instant understanding of those who whine about OT posts. And yet recognize that need to connect. The balance of the posts on the AD list were about deaths, the hideous transition from independent to dependent, the day daddy no longer recognized me....... Where else would these injured souls go if they had not taken the time to connect? As I said, I see both sides. Crystal Clear. Thanks, Vitalady, Inc. T www.vitalady.com If you are interested in PayPal, please click here: https://www.paypal.com/affil/pal=orders%40vitalady.com Re: Off Topic Posts > I totally agree! This group is not at all like the other OSSG > groups. We are the long-termers. I joined this group about 4 years > ago, not yet a Grad, and I remember the OT posts being cats. The > humor and sometimes mindless banter is our way of touching each other > as family and old friends. The other OSSG groups that cater more to > pre-ops and newbies generally change memberships every year or 2, as > people outgrow their usefulness and move on. Most of us are here for > the duration, for long-term support and information, and dear > friendships are created. Humor is very necessary. > > That said, I do agree about the subject lines. There is a huge mail > volume, and the subject line should reflect the topic, and also say > if it's OT. I promise, I will try to make an effort to do this. > > in NJ > ********************** > > > > The witty and funny back and forth emails, while time consuming to > keep up with, are what keep us close knit. You can't have this many > people who have been corresponding for so many years and know some of > the most intimate details of each others' lives without some of the > give and take of humor. The humor is, if not the backbone, then > certainly the lifeblood of this group. I agree about changing the > subject line, and I am a bad offender who promises to do better. But > the warm and sincere humor among us is sometimes the one thing that > keeps me on track and gets me through the day. > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2003 Report Share Posted March 19, 2003 I wanted to say I understand both sides of this, only too well. I think the fun is necessary to camaraderie. Might be eccentric of me, but I'm not sure I care to share my innermost guts with people without personalities or any " depth " . The OT give " depth " to personalities. I understand the frustration of the newbies who come here hoping for a steady font of wisdom and answers to all problems. I joined an Alzheimer's list and there were about 150 posts a day, not a big deal since I get hundreds now. But on that list, I was hungry, starving, parched for info. And there were prolly a dozen people a day who just greeted one another, and another dozen who greeted back. Talked about their lives, planting bulbs, picking roses.......... AAAAAAAAAAA!!! I just wanted to SCREAM: GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND GIMME IT NOW! oh At once I had an instant understanding of those who whine about OT posts. And yet recognize that need to connect. The balance of the posts on the AD list were about deaths, the hideous transition from independent to dependent, the day daddy no longer recognized me....... Where else would these injured souls go if they had not taken the time to connect? As I said, I see both sides. Crystal Clear. Thanks, Vitalady, Inc. T www.vitalady.com If you are interested in PayPal, please click here: https://www.paypal.com/affil/pal=orders%40vitalady.com Re: Off Topic Posts > I totally agree! This group is not at all like the other OSSG > groups. We are the long-termers. I joined this group about 4 years > ago, not yet a Grad, and I remember the OT posts being cats. The > humor and sometimes mindless banter is our way of touching each other > as family and old friends. The other OSSG groups that cater more to > pre-ops and newbies generally change memberships every year or 2, as > people outgrow their usefulness and move on. Most of us are here for > the duration, for long-term support and information, and dear > friendships are created. Humor is very necessary. > > That said, I do agree about the subject lines. There is a huge mail > volume, and the subject line should reflect the topic, and also say > if it's OT. I promise, I will try to make an effort to do this. > > in NJ > ********************** > > > > The witty and funny back and forth emails, while time consuming to > keep up with, are what keep us close knit. You can't have this many > people who have been corresponding for so many years and know some of > the most intimate details of each others' lives without some of the > give and take of humor. The humor is, if not the backbone, then > certainly the lifeblood of this group. I agree about changing the > subject line, and I am a bad offender who promises to do better. But > the warm and sincere humor among us is sometimes the one thing that > keeps me on track and gets me through the day. > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2003 Report Share Posted March 19, 2003 It was not too long ago, that I got so angry at off topic posts, I quit my group of Oldies. In two days I realized my error and rejoined. I don't know what happened to cause me to feel so annoyed and I don't know what happened to make the anger go away, but going through it has made me a better member. I am not as busy as many of you, so as I read my e-mail (not digests), if it is about something not of interest (I can tell in a few words) I hit next and go on. " Just for Today, " I will continue to do this. Fay Bayuk **300/170 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2003 Report Share Posted March 19, 2003 It was not too long ago, that I got so angry at off topic posts, I quit my group of Oldies. In two days I realized my error and rejoined. I don't know what happened to cause me to feel so annoyed and I don't know what happened to make the anger go away, but going through it has made me a better member. I am not as busy as many of you, so as I read my e-mail (not digests), if it is about something not of interest (I can tell in a few words) I hit next and go on. " Just for Today, " I will continue to do this. Fay Bayuk **300/170 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 20, 2003 Report Share Posted March 20, 2003 Thanks, Betty. I don't think the point ever was that there should be no off-topic messages here at all. And I agree with you, it would be a really dry list if that were the case....yawn. Your reply is very well-written and considerate, so please don't take this personally. It just struck me as unfair that when people make requests to tone it down, to put OT (for off-topic) in the subject line, to tidy up their replies by deleting all but what is relevant, to not reply to the whole digest, to send personal replies when appropriate, there's always a very vocal minority who basically ignore the requests without even considering them, tell them to " hit the delete key, " often with a implicit or explicit comment about their spiritual/emotional state. I think it would be nice, neighborly and good community spirit to consider these people's needs as well, since some people do not have as much time or interest as others, ponder the requests for a moment, not attack them in a public forum for being mentally or morally deficient in some way, and quietly hit their own delete key. Off-topic happens and it's okay. But this isn't a chat-room. Many replies could and should be personal, IMHO. And there is a happy medium that we often find. I like, at least when we're having fun, for people to really pare down the messages where their stuff is at the top and easy to read, like yours. Thanks, in Austin RNY April 1998 Re: Off Topic Posts > I just hafta stick my nickle's worth in here. I joined this group > while I was still pre-op- around the time of " the kitty wars " and I > gotta tell ya', it was wonderful for me to know that there *was* life > after surgery. These were real people, living real lives, with humor > without being able to " eat normally " - or so I thought at the time. > It was important for me to know that even with the life altering > surgery that I was going to pursue, these people still lived day to > day, loved one another, and didn't mind showing it to anyone who > cared to peek in. So the off topic stuff does serve a purpose for > people that we sometimes don't know and won't hear from for a year or > more. > Alice > The Loon > RNY 12/28/00 > > ....I wanted to say I understand both sides of this, only too well. > I think the fun is necessary to camaraderie. Might be eccentric of > me, but I'm not sure I care to share my innermost guts with people > without personalities or any " depth " . The OT give " depth " to > personalities. > I understand the frustration of the newbies who come here hoping for > a steady font of wisdom and answers to all problems.... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 20, 2003 Report Share Posted March 20, 2003 Thanks, Betty. I don't think the point ever was that there should be no off-topic messages here at all. And I agree with you, it would be a really dry list if that were the case....yawn. Your reply is very well-written and considerate, so please don't take this personally. It just struck me as unfair that when people make requests to tone it down, to put OT (for off-topic) in the subject line, to tidy up their replies by deleting all but what is relevant, to not reply to the whole digest, to send personal replies when appropriate, there's always a very vocal minority who basically ignore the requests without even considering them, tell them to " hit the delete key, " often with a implicit or explicit comment about their spiritual/emotional state. I think it would be nice, neighborly and good community spirit to consider these people's needs as well, since some people do not have as much time or interest as others, ponder the requests for a moment, not attack them in a public forum for being mentally or morally deficient in some way, and quietly hit their own delete key. Off-topic happens and it's okay. But this isn't a chat-room. Many replies could and should be personal, IMHO. And there is a happy medium that we often find. I like, at least when we're having fun, for people to really pare down the messages where their stuff is at the top and easy to read, like yours. Thanks, in Austin RNY April 1998 Re: Off Topic Posts > I just hafta stick my nickle's worth in here. I joined this group > while I was still pre-op- around the time of " the kitty wars " and I > gotta tell ya', it was wonderful for me to know that there *was* life > after surgery. These were real people, living real lives, with humor > without being able to " eat normally " - or so I thought at the time. > It was important for me to know that even with the life altering > surgery that I was going to pursue, these people still lived day to > day, loved one another, and didn't mind showing it to anyone who > cared to peek in. So the off topic stuff does serve a purpose for > people that we sometimes don't know and won't hear from for a year or > more. > Alice > The Loon > RNY 12/28/00 > > ....I wanted to say I understand both sides of this, only too well. > I think the fun is necessary to camaraderie. Might be eccentric of > me, but I'm not sure I care to share my innermost guts with people > without personalities or any " depth " . The OT give " depth " to > personalities. > I understand the frustration of the newbies who come here hoping for > a steady font of wisdom and answers to all problems.... > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 20, 2003 Report Share Posted March 20, 2003 Sensitivities are running high right now. I see complaints about off topic posts on several lists I belong to. Most of those complaints are of a political nature...People read things that are particularly striking, emotionally, to them, and they want to share those thoughts...This is not because they want to be offensive to any one, or be off topic, but because they want to share with people they consider to be " family. " It is that sense of closeness that enables us to support each other. Certainly, we need the factual information from each other. But, in order to accept the information and support, we need to know each other on a personal level, and that is, in my opinion, what makes off topic " sharing " so vital to the cohesiveness of any group. Familiarity breeds trust, and for support to be effective, you must have trust. Otherwise, you can just do an internet search, or go to the library (imagine that!) for hard data. Data is cold. Support is warm and loving, even sometimes heated in disagreement. So, from my vantage, keep the OT posts coming. I WANT to be friends with you. I WANT to know how your life is going, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, what makes you mad. As I type this, I got a phone call, from Michigan. A friend, I met online on a WLS board, just came out of surgery for her by-pass. I've never met her in person, but in the past few months, we've talked several times on the phone. I've been able to support her through the battle with the insurance company, all the testing, and she made sure that her husband called me to tell me that she was okay and in recovery. She called me on my birthday, tries to keep informed on my home situation, asks my opinion on EVERYTHING, gives me her opinion, tells me of other frustrations and joys in her life. I hear about her daughter's violin lessons, recitals and girl scouts. I know her husband, and I've even talked to him on the phone a couple of times! We exchange pictures, anecdotes, and commiserate together. If we didn't share the whole picture of our lives, we probably would not be friends. She probably would not have pursued having surgery, due to frustration and lack of support and information, and we'd both be missing a richer part of our lives that we have now. I'm going to go visit her later this summer. Bobbie, in Alaska, hopefully is coming to visit me this fall, when her Okie hubby comes home to visit his parents. When I eventually get to Seattle for my visit, I have a whole list of friends I want to meet in person. A number of people on this list write to me privately to give me support as I wait for my hubby to be deployed. Is that WLS related? No. But it is the caring nature of friends to nurture me when I need it. And nurturing is a part of the whole picture of our lives. Can I get that from " data " ? Nope. When Colette gets home, I'm going to encourage her to join this list as a lurker. I know that she will be tickled to at least observe our off topic discussions, and get a clearer picture of how life will really be, post op. Keep the OT topics coming. I want to know what your favorite condiments are. Maybe, just MAYBE, you like something I haven't tried! Jac ''Always saddle your own horse.''-- Connie Reeves, at age 100, upon induction to the Cowgirl Hall of Fame " Head up, heels down. " mailto:jholdaway@... http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/ http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 20, 2003 Report Share Posted March 20, 2003 Sensitivities are running high right now. I see complaints about off topic posts on several lists I belong to. Most of those complaints are of a political nature...People read things that are particularly striking, emotionally, to them, and they want to share those thoughts...This is not because they want to be offensive to any one, or be off topic, but because they want to share with people they consider to be " family. " It is that sense of closeness that enables us to support each other. Certainly, we need the factual information from each other. But, in order to accept the information and support, we need to know each other on a personal level, and that is, in my opinion, what makes off topic " sharing " so vital to the cohesiveness of any group. Familiarity breeds trust, and for support to be effective, you must have trust. Otherwise, you can just do an internet search, or go to the library (imagine that!) for hard data. Data is cold. Support is warm and loving, even sometimes heated in disagreement. So, from my vantage, keep the OT posts coming. I WANT to be friends with you. I WANT to know how your life is going, what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, what makes you mad. As I type this, I got a phone call, from Michigan. A friend, I met online on a WLS board, just came out of surgery for her by-pass. I've never met her in person, but in the past few months, we've talked several times on the phone. I've been able to support her through the battle with the insurance company, all the testing, and she made sure that her husband called me to tell me that she was okay and in recovery. She called me on my birthday, tries to keep informed on my home situation, asks my opinion on EVERYTHING, gives me her opinion, tells me of other frustrations and joys in her life. I hear about her daughter's violin lessons, recitals and girl scouts. I know her husband, and I've even talked to him on the phone a couple of times! We exchange pictures, anecdotes, and commiserate together. If we didn't share the whole picture of our lives, we probably would not be friends. She probably would not have pursued having surgery, due to frustration and lack of support and information, and we'd both be missing a richer part of our lives that we have now. I'm going to go visit her later this summer. Bobbie, in Alaska, hopefully is coming to visit me this fall, when her Okie hubby comes home to visit his parents. When I eventually get to Seattle for my visit, I have a whole list of friends I want to meet in person. A number of people on this list write to me privately to give me support as I wait for my hubby to be deployed. Is that WLS related? No. But it is the caring nature of friends to nurture me when I need it. And nurturing is a part of the whole picture of our lives. Can I get that from " data " ? Nope. When Colette gets home, I'm going to encourage her to join this list as a lurker. I know that she will be tickled to at least observe our off topic discussions, and get a clearer picture of how life will really be, post op. Keep the OT topics coming. I want to know what your favorite condiments are. Maybe, just MAYBE, you like something I haven't tried! Jac ''Always saddle your own horse.''-- Connie Reeves, at age 100, upon induction to the Cowgirl Hall of Fame " Head up, heels down. " mailto:jholdaway@... http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/ http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 20, 2003 Report Share Posted March 20, 2003 Great example of what could have been a personal post to me if you didn't like something I said. Also, if you want to lighten up about it, why send a message to the whole group? Also, I didn't say anything about not having one-liners. Can we lighten up about this already? in Austin RNY April 1998 Re: Re: Off Topic Posts > > We'd lose out on so many of those precious one-liners that often make my day, if that was the case. Can we lighten up about this already? > > Keltie > > YahooDave wrote: > (snip) > > > Off-topic happens and it's okay. But this isn't a chat-room. Many replies > could and should be personal, IMHO. And there is a happy medium that we > often find. I like, at least when we're having fun, for people to really > pare down the messages where their stuff is at the top and easy to read, > like yours. > > Thanks, > in Austin > RNY April 1998 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 20, 2003 Report Share Posted March 20, 2003 Great example of what could have been a personal post to me if you didn't like something I said. Also, if you want to lighten up about it, why send a message to the whole group? Also, I didn't say anything about not having one-liners. Can we lighten up about this already? in Austin RNY April 1998 Re: Re: Off Topic Posts > > We'd lose out on so many of those precious one-liners that often make my day, if that was the case. Can we lighten up about this already? > > Keltie > > YahooDave wrote: > (snip) > > > Off-topic happens and it's okay. But this isn't a chat-room. Many replies > could and should be personal, IMHO. And there is a happy medium that we > often find. I like, at least when we're having fun, for people to really > pare down the messages where their stuff is at the top and easy to read, > like yours. > > Thanks, > in Austin > RNY April 1998 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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