here's the freak'n truth about the surgery!

March 1, 2004

i'm writing you guys from I.C.U. i just had surgery 2 days ago!! and thank

god i think i'm fine! yes i had my worries.i even wanted to back out the day of

surgery and the surgeon talked me into going through with it. jessica in mi,

really think about the surgery. i wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless they

were over 400lbs OR someone with very risky problems like diabeties or cardio

vascular disease or something. i am only 282lbs and i was surprised that they

authorized it but we did alot of lying on the paper work. added a few pounds

here and subtracted a few inches off the top there and WALA i was approved. no

previous ilnesses. no diabeties, nor high blood presure or, anything at all.

the only thing i had was a really bad brused ego!!!!!!!!!! i'm a personal

trainer, health and fitness specialist, former owner of a small gym, and former

amatuer body builder. i'm sitting in ICU writing you guys this and regreting it.

only because i've lost 16lbs in 3 days here and i know that i could of lost

that in 2weeks in the safest and healthest way possible!!!!! i'm sitting here

with my eyes weld up because i can't believe i just put my family through this!

my 3 year old angel. my wife of 9 years (and yes i'm only26 turning 27 on

monday due the math.) i'm crazy for even thinking of doing this let alone

actually going through with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID HAVE MY

COMPLICATIONS. none of the 1000 drs. here can explain why my pulse is or was up

at

150+ for the first 2 days and can't figure it out..... i'm sorry but 90% of

nurses just SUCK. so you have to really sit down and ask why am i doing this and

this is no cake walk!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my father had the surgery and i think he

made a really good decision. I DIDN'T. BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALLY NEED IT. I

WASN'T FAT JUST LAZY!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that this surgery is great for so many people i've trained in the

past and know today. but it wasn't what i needed. i didn't need surgery,,, i

just

needed to get get off my ass!

i wanted the easy way out. " hey i'll do the surgery and in 4 weeks i'll be

thin " i've had friends of mine come to the house and say " hey lets go train " and

i think what's on tonight? and don't go. i make excuses and then say " ahhhhhh

hell i don't know why i keep getting fatter "

so if you bust your ass and eat right and you can't lose weight then do it.

and i mean you actuallly really diet WITHOUT CHEATING for 2 weeks then i think

it's a good for you. but if you're like me and do well or 2 days then have a

salad with a ton of crap on it and say " well it's fat free dressing then your

not giving it your all!

it can really be done a safe way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOODLUCK TO ALL WHO GO THROUGH WITH IT OR NOT AND MY BLESSINGS WILL GO OUT TO

ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

March 1, 2004