Re: HELP - Need to stop this NOW

February 10, 2003

Cheryl:

First, Stop, take a moment to forgive yourself. You are a normal

person. You are not perfect nor need to be. Don't think of your

self as being bad or eating bad. You have been out of some control

and have forgotten to watch what you eat.

Second, Are you exercising still? If not, start by walking, 20-30 min

a day. And make a commitment to doing so. After you introduce

exercise again into your life if you had not been exercising,

evaluate you food intake.

Third, Take some time and write down what you eat in a typical day

and then make a list of breakfast items you eat, lunch items, dinner

and snacks. I'm not suggesting to start a food diary, because

personally I can't commit to them and darned if I am going feel bad

about that too! I just think you need a reality check.

Fourth, Go through your list of foods and determine what you can keep

and what you should take out of your diet. If you cannot eliminate

carbs, totally, can you portion control or do you need to set up a

day a week where you will have some carbs at a certain meal. The

idea of totally eliminating favorite foods may be too overwhelming so

make an " appointment " with the food and manage the portions. Make

sure you have the appropriate foods at home. The worst thing is

looking for some ham or cheese, yogurt, fruit or something similar to

satisfy your hunger and all you find is crackers, pretzels, etc.

Fifth, Think about when you are eating. Realize that when we eat

emotionally we crave carbs and sweets, Have you ever said to

yourself, boy I really crave a piece of fish or a chicken leg when

your are stressed out? No! You want chocolate, chips, bread,

crackers or some other favorite food. Can you still distinguish

physical hunger from emotional hunger? Do a little self analysis on

this.

Sixth, Make a list of alternative activities to eating. A pre-made

plan will make it less stressful in thinking of what to do. One

trick I do is drink water. A lot of times thirst is disguised in

hunger. If after drinking water and waiting 15 20 min. you feel the

hunger then have a snack from your list of appropriate foods. If you

feel that the " hunger " is actually stress or frustration, go for a

walk, even if it is in your company, go talk to a co-worker. Get in

your car and go for a ride (don't stop at a fast food joint!). Go to

a quiet corner and read a magazine or book. Call a friend or support

group member. Get on this bulletin board and VENT!!!! We know your

pain and can empathize!

Seventh, Remember to forgive yourself! If you still gave in to

snacking or eating " incorrect " foods, forgive yourself and plan for

your next snack or meal for the day. You cannot be expected to be

PERFECT none of us are and we should not expect so much from

ourselves, we are just setting ourselves up for failure if every

behavior is put up on a pedistal! This I think is the main reason we

get out of control and " fail " because we have to give up on trying to

fulfill too high of an expectation of ourselves! You know, life is

not a compatition nor a final exam so no one is keeping score!

This is a long post but I wanted to give you my thoughts on the same

issue I have been dealing with. If you still have problems, please

seek counseling. I have and it has helped and actually comitting to

30 minute walks each day has helped to keep me centered. Now I feel

I can add more exercise but I don't intend to go overboard because

that would add more stress which is what I am trying to get rid of.

Life is such a balancing act. You should eat and exercise in

moderation, learn to balance work and personal/family time and you

need to forgive yourself and move on when you go over on either side

of the scale (life's scale or the bathroom scale)! You will never be

free of the weight issues, that is part of you life past, present and

future. You need to find acceptance of it. And this is where

forgiveness is also key. Forgive the former you who was obese.

Forgive the current you for the 10 lbs you have gained. You have the

surgery tool to your advantage and you have the knowledge of what to

do. Forgive the future you for any transgressions bound to happen

and accept this as part of you life that thankfully is manageable now.

V.

WLS 06/2000

> I noticed that my jeans were getting tighter and got on the scale -

OMG - I have gained 10 lbs.

>

> I am eating all the wrong stuff and need to stop this now.

>

> Any hints - I was doing SO well.

>

> --

> Cheryl - NY

> AOL IM - yearn2bfree1956

> Yahoo Messenger - yearn2bfree1956

> Open RNY - 10/01/01

> Starting Stats -

> 336 lbs/51 BMI/32 W sizes

> Current Stats -

> 160 lbs/23.6 BMI/8-10

>

> Friends are like angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have

trouble remembering how to fly.

>

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February 10, 2003