Re: Vera....accepting help

[Guest guest]

Vera,

My note is because of your comments of " I hope that it won't come to that. "

One of the hardest things that I have ever done is to accept help from

outsiders. I was ok when it was one of our sons, but to ask for help from

other people was so hard. Some of our church memembers had offered and

offered and offered to help, but I kept saying I can do it, just give me

time.

When I finally gave in and said ok I accept your offers, first it was so

hard to give in, but then it was such a relief, because they were so much

help.

The same was true of the paramedics. I kept thinking as long as my sons

could come from work, that we would continue to manage the falls. When I

finally realized that I was calling them to come from work ( where they

desparately needed to be) when I could have gotten help with out them, it

was such a relief. When Speedy fell, he did not want others to see him, so

for a while he would beg me to get him up prior to the paramedics arriving.

I was to the point that I could not do it anymore. He weighed about 250 and

was getting more and more rigid. We had put handicapped bars all over this

house, but we still had those hard crazy falls.

We finally had to go to the power wheel chair full time about this time last

year, which made his life safer as far as the falls are concerned. He did

not want to give in to this.

I say this not to be critical, but to tell you that I am very sympathetic to

your needs. I feel a sisterly love with you. I hope that you will not wait

as long as I did to accept help from others.

We are all in this together.

Marilyn in TN

> From: FVJAMES@...

> Reply-To: shydrager

> Date: Fri, 25 Oct 2002 01:17:38 EDT

> To: shydrager

> Subject: Re: Hemifacial spasm >

>

> Hi :

> Thank you for letting me know about the fireman. My mother called yesterday

> and told me the same thing. I guess I'll have to do that if it happen's

> again. I hope it won't come to that.

>

> I don't think the eye will heal real fast, it's pretty black. The neighbor

> told him he could go out trick or treating as a boxer. She loves to tease

> him.

>

> Do look at the web link on the spasm, but Warren may not get them. Fred seems

> to have alot of spasm with the face.

>

> I understand about Waren not staying in his w/c and not knowning he can't do

> things anymore. Fred is the same way.

>

> You getting to read much anymore? I started Saving Millie, but still haven't

> gotten to finish it. Someday, I hope to , so I can let someone else in the

> group have it to read.

>

> TakeCare

> Vera

> ***************

>

> Vera,

>

> I'm sorry Fred is falling so often. One thing I learned after I had put

> Warren in nursing home was that I could have called 911 and asked them to

> send fireman, not a real emergency but that I couldn't get my husband,

> whoever, up after a fall and they would come and help. Just a thought as if

> Fred is like my Warren even in wheel chair still trys to stand and falls,

> even in the NH. Can't remember that he can't do it.

>

> Hope Fred's face heals quickly. I will have to look up Hemifacial spasm as

> I haven't seen it yet on Warren but as fast as he's going might any time, so

> I'll recognize whats happening.

>

> S.

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Vera,

My note is because of your comments of " I hope that it won't come to that. "

One of the hardest things that I have ever done is to accept help from

outsiders. I was ok when it was one of our sons, but to ask for help from

other people was so hard. Some of our church memembers had offered and

offered and offered to help, but I kept saying I can do it, just give me

time.

When I finally gave in and said ok I accept your offers, first it was so

hard to give in, but then it was such a relief, because they were so much

help.

The same was true of the paramedics. I kept thinking as long as my sons

could come from work, that we would continue to manage the falls. When I

finally realized that I was calling them to come from work ( where they

desparately needed to be) when I could have gotten help with out them, it

was such a relief. When Speedy fell, he did not want others to see him, so

for a while he would beg me to get him up prior to the paramedics arriving.

I was to the point that I could not do it anymore. He weighed about 250 and

was getting more and more rigid. We had put handicapped bars all over this

house, but we still had those hard crazy falls.

We finally had to go to the power wheel chair full time about this time last

year, which made his life safer as far as the falls are concerned. He did

not want to give in to this.

I say this not to be critical, but to tell you that I am very sympathetic to

your needs. I feel a sisterly love with you. I hope that you will not wait

as long as I did to accept help from others.

We are all in this together.

Marilyn in TN

> From: FVJAMES@...

> Reply-To: shydrager

> Date: Fri, 25 Oct 2002 01:17:38 EDT

> To: shydrager

> Subject: Re: Hemifacial spasm >

>

> Hi :

> Thank you for letting me know about the fireman. My mother called yesterday

> and told me the same thing. I guess I'll have to do that if it happen's

> again. I hope it won't come to that.

>

> I don't think the eye will heal real fast, it's pretty black. The neighbor

> told him he could go out trick or treating as a boxer. She loves to tease

> him.

>

> Do look at the web link on the spasm, but Warren may not get them. Fred seems

> to have alot of spasm with the face.

>

> I understand about Waren not staying in his w/c and not knowning he can't do

> things anymore. Fred is the same way.

>

> You getting to read much anymore? I started Saving Millie, but still haven't

> gotten to finish it. Someday, I hope to , so I can let someone else in the

> group have it to read.

>

> TakeCare

> Vera

> ***************

>

> Vera,

>

> I'm sorry Fred is falling so often. One thing I learned after I had put

> Warren in nursing home was that I could have called 911 and asked them to

> send fireman, not a real emergency but that I couldn't get my husband,

> whoever, up after a fall and they would come and help. Just a thought as if

> Fred is like my Warren even in wheel chair still trys to stand and falls,

> even in the NH. Can't remember that he can't do it.

>

> Hope Fred's face heals quickly. I will have to look up Hemifacial spasm as

> I haven't seen it yet on Warren but as fast as he's going might any time, so

> I'll recognize whats happening.

>

> S.

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Marilyn,

Thanks for sharing your views on accepting help. We are at the point that

we're beginning to talk about having help in the house part of the time and

both Rob and I are very resistant. I think " I can do it " and he thinks " I

don't need it " but we both see that his illness is becoming more and more

difficult for us to manage.

Hopefully once we get started with accepting help it will get easier.

Carol & Rob

Lexington, MA

Re: Hemifacial spasm >

> >

> > Hi :

> > Thank you for letting me know about the fireman. My mother called

yesterday

> > and told me the same thing. I guess I'll have to do that if it happen's

> > again. I hope it won't come to that.

> >

> > I don't think the eye will heal real fast, it's pretty black. The

neighbor

> > told him he could go out trick or treating as a boxer. She loves to

tease

> > him.

> >

> > Do look at the web link on the spasm, but Warren may not get them. Fred

seems

> > to have alot of spasm with the face.

> >

> > I understand about Waren not staying in his w/c and not knowning he

can't do

> > things anymore. Fred is the same way.

> >

> > You getting to read much anymore? I started Saving Millie, but still

haven't

> > gotten to finish it. Someday, I hope to , so I can let someone else in

the

> > group have it to read.

> >

> > TakeCare

> > Vera

> > ***************

> >

> > Vera,

> >

> > I'm sorry Fred is falling so often. One thing I learned after I had put

> > Warren in nursing home was that I could have called 911 and asked them

to

> > send fireman, not a real emergency but that I couldn't get my husband,

> > whoever, up after a fall and they would come and help. Just a thought as

if

> > Fred is like my Warren even in wheel chair still trys to stand and

falls,

> > even in the NH. Can't remember that he can't do it.

> >

> > Hope Fred's face heals quickly. I will have to look up Hemifacial spasm

as

> > I haven't seen it yet on Warren but as fast as he's going might any

time, so

> > I'll recognize whats happening.

> >

> > S.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Marilyn,

Thanks for sharing your views on accepting help. We are at the point that

we're beginning to talk about having help in the house part of the time and

both Rob and I are very resistant. I think " I can do it " and he thinks " I

don't need it " but we both see that his illness is becoming more and more

difficult for us to manage.

Hopefully once we get started with accepting help it will get easier.

Carol & Rob

Lexington, MA

Re: Hemifacial spasm >

> >

> > Hi :

> > Thank you for letting me know about the fireman. My mother called

yesterday

> > and told me the same thing. I guess I'll have to do that if it happen's

> > again. I hope it won't come to that.

> >

> > I don't think the eye will heal real fast, it's pretty black. The

neighbor

> > told him he could go out trick or treating as a boxer. She loves to

tease

> > him.

> >

> > Do look at the web link on the spasm, but Warren may not get them. Fred

seems

> > to have alot of spasm with the face.

> >

> > I understand about Waren not staying in his w/c and not knowning he

can't do

> > things anymore. Fred is the same way.

> >

> > You getting to read much anymore? I started Saving Millie, but still

haven't

> > gotten to finish it. Someday, I hope to , so I can let someone else in

the

> > group have it to read.

> >

> > TakeCare

> > Vera

> > ***************

> >

> > Vera,

> >

> > I'm sorry Fred is falling so often. One thing I learned after I had put

> > Warren in nursing home was that I could have called 911 and asked them

to

> > send fireman, not a real emergency but that I couldn't get my husband,

> > whoever, up after a fall and they would come and help. Just a thought as

if

> > Fred is like my Warren even in wheel chair still trys to stand and

falls,

> > even in the NH. Can't remember that he can't do it.

> >

> > Hope Fred's face heals quickly. I will have to look up Hemifacial spasm

as

> > I haven't seen it yet on Warren but as fast as he's going might any

time, so

> > I'll recognize whats happening.

> >

> > S.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >