Back to work, this is the tough part

[Guest guest]

hi y'all

(I need to vent and know I'm not alone in this, sorry to b*tch)

So I went back 3 wks, 2 days post-op. I was upper and genio and

tightly banded until 3 wks exactly -mon nt, I spent Tues open and

work wednesday.

As those of you who know me -you know I am a talker, specifically a

recruiter and talk for my living...sure email too, but talking is how

it all gets " done " . So I came bk, tired mostly...swelling was 98%

gone and I felt good and didn't feel swollen-which at this stage is

more impt to me, functionality than form.

It was a lot but I was handling it.

THen I had a family illness, for whom I am the walking medical

history and caregiver...I jumped into gear and was available 24/7 for

dr/rn/hosp and so on...so my days got longer, more intense, more

chatty and more emotional as her life was dangling in front of me and

the decisions I was to make would gretly impact her living or

not...but again, handled it pretty good. I had no other choice and

wouldn't pass off this resp if I could...I owe her my life as she

raised me.

I was 1 1/2 wk bk to work, 1 wk into her emergancy situation, when

that sat I poufed up a bit, felt stiff and ouchie...not just the

upper lip a bit but cheeks on the apple too-she was the first one to

notice too ironically and sent me home in 15 minutes from a visit. So

I relaxed and tried not to talk, slept a lot that weekend and last

mon was ok when I got bk to work............

however.

this past week, week 5 +...by Fri I was a little swollen adn ouchie.

sat it didn't chill out much-basically stayed the same. sunday it

lessened a bit, but last nt walking in after a long day at 9ish

pm...I was over the top...PAIN and my cheeks were poufed and my upper

lip was just beyond-felt like week 2 almost. All along I try and keep

a good attitude bec I know my mental state will help me along or

increase pain sometimes, but you know OUCH!!! and BUMMER!!! already.

I know this is happening bec of MY LIFE DEMANDS and that's so

aggravating to me. I did this-surgery to be good to me, for my

future...and as soon as I was done, job was/is suddenly in jeporady,

literally life was in my hands with my family and I was back in Deep-

the shelter I formed was gone and now I am feeling it.

Just about the only thing that keeps me from freaking out, is that I

have been going to the OR weekly and he says I'm perfect healing wise

and only feeling this way from talking and overuse. no harm, but I am

worried...I have been through SOOOO much-braces 13 yrs as a kid,

broken jaw wired in college from an accident, and now braces for 1

1/2yr and this surg...I don't want any damage-esp from my own doing.

I am so sorry to complain a bit...after all I prefer to get others

thru their tough times, but no one outside of here really knows about

what it is like and damn it, I am frustrated and upset and SO trying

to do it all-because I have to-not even bec I want to sometimes (i.e.

work-which I am seeking a solution for-not family, we owe each other

to help out-it's family!)...and trying to preserve my self interests

of protecting my face/mouth...

I dealt with the intense pain, the discomfort, the seclusion, the

everything ok, but now I have to focus on other things and it is so

hard. I even had to ask the OR " what's a normal night in hours " to

wear the bands bec I don't usually get 8 hrs sleep a night...it's

just this crazy NY style life I have, go go go it's all on my

shoulders.

I know some would say -let go of some of your responsibilities, but

that's not a possibility right now, need to work and am working on a

better tomorrow with that, can't push off the family as NO ONE else

can do the simplest things I do (not to be that way, it just is that

way), and gee, what I can push off I am-like you should see the

tumble-dog and tumble-cat on my rug it's shedding season up here

and vacuuming is something I CAN push off....so that's how it is, and

I just want to know that I'm not alone...

that I am not doing harm...I think I might just need a hug from those

who get it...thanks

and so sorry to be So wordy today, it's been a long week and it's

only Tues!

JO

[Guest guest]

hi y'all

(I need to vent and know I'm not alone in this, sorry to b*tch)

So I went back 3 wks, 2 days post-op. I was upper and genio and

tightly banded until 3 wks exactly -mon nt, I spent Tues open and

work wednesday.

As those of you who know me -you know I am a talker, specifically a

recruiter and talk for my living...sure email too, but talking is how

it all gets " done " . So I came bk, tired mostly...swelling was 98%

gone and I felt good and didn't feel swollen-which at this stage is

more impt to me, functionality than form.

It was a lot but I was handling it.

THen I had a family illness, for whom I am the walking medical

history and caregiver...I jumped into gear and was available 24/7 for

dr/rn/hosp and so on...so my days got longer, more intense, more

chatty and more emotional as her life was dangling in front of me and

the decisions I was to make would gretly impact her living or

not...but again, handled it pretty good. I had no other choice and

wouldn't pass off this resp if I could...I owe her my life as she

raised me.

I was 1 1/2 wk bk to work, 1 wk into her emergancy situation, when

that sat I poufed up a bit, felt stiff and ouchie...not just the

upper lip a bit but cheeks on the apple too-she was the first one to

notice too ironically and sent me home in 15 minutes from a visit. So

I relaxed and tried not to talk, slept a lot that weekend and last

mon was ok when I got bk to work............

however.

this past week, week 5 +...by Fri I was a little swollen adn ouchie.

sat it didn't chill out much-basically stayed the same. sunday it

lessened a bit, but last nt walking in after a long day at 9ish

pm...I was over the top...PAIN and my cheeks were poufed and my upper

lip was just beyond-felt like week 2 almost. All along I try and keep

a good attitude bec I know my mental state will help me along or

increase pain sometimes, but you know OUCH!!! and BUMMER!!! already.

I know this is happening bec of MY LIFE DEMANDS and that's so

aggravating to me. I did this-surgery to be good to me, for my

future...and as soon as I was done, job was/is suddenly in jeporady,

literally life was in my hands with my family and I was back in Deep-

the shelter I formed was gone and now I am feeling it.

Just about the only thing that keeps me from freaking out, is that I

have been going to the OR weekly and he says I'm perfect healing wise

and only feeling this way from talking and overuse. no harm, but I am

worried...I have been through SOOOO much-braces 13 yrs as a kid,

broken jaw wired in college from an accident, and now braces for 1

1/2yr and this surg...I don't want any damage-esp from my own doing.

I am so sorry to complain a bit...after all I prefer to get others

thru their tough times, but no one outside of here really knows about

what it is like and damn it, I am frustrated and upset and SO trying

to do it all-because I have to-not even bec I want to sometimes (i.e.

work-which I am seeking a solution for-not family, we owe each other

to help out-it's family!)...and trying to preserve my self interests

of protecting my face/mouth...

I dealt with the intense pain, the discomfort, the seclusion, the

everything ok, but now I have to focus on other things and it is so

hard. I even had to ask the OR " what's a normal night in hours " to

wear the bands bec I don't usually get 8 hrs sleep a night...it's

just this crazy NY style life I have, go go go it's all on my

shoulders.

I know some would say -let go of some of your responsibilities, but

that's not a possibility right now, need to work and am working on a

better tomorrow with that, can't push off the family as NO ONE else

can do the simplest things I do (not to be that way, it just is that

way), and gee, what I can push off I am-like you should see the

tumble-dog and tumble-cat on my rug it's shedding season up here

and vacuuming is something I CAN push off....so that's how it is, and

I just want to know that I'm not alone...

that I am not doing harm...I think I might just need a hug from those

who get it...thanks

and so sorry to be So wordy today, it's been a long week and it's

only Tues!

JO