Guest guest Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 help them, help them understand. train them in skills no one else has, look ofr their gifts of herat, mind, soul and body and DEVELOP them. Lessons in o many things are possible, a twelve year old is old enough to do body building under expert supervision. A daughter who is growng heavy like her parent can be told to make the best choices possible, and that holding the line with weight is for big, medium and little people all-- we all have to do it no matter what size we are. Don't be afraid that any TRUTH you tell will make your child " bigger. " It won't. Heaviness as you know is a combination of factors; appetite and satiation issues, metabolism issues, genetic inheritances, mental stressors. in MHO, no 99% of heaviness is a combination of all these and about 10% will power. (I know that is 109% but that is how I see it. I have watched various tv hosts drag poor folks out in front of the camera who have lost massive amounts of weight, but I notice deeply that there are never 1 year, 2 yr, ten year follow-ups. You know why.) As you now I have a yung little grandson who is also on his way to heavy. This young soul is going to be the smartest, most loved and lving, most devloped in talent, most humor-filled, most caring for humanity, most creative young man that we can help him be. The key is we have to put in time. Lots of it. That's what we are doing. Teaching good food habits, but that is actually the least of it. The most of it is making sure he has the antidotes to the varous poisons wour culture and certain people give out to those who are different in any way. I VOW WITH EVERYTHING IN ME that this chld is not going to suffer from lack of information, lack of ability to bounce back, lack of ability to bind up his own wounds, lack of knoweldge about how to shine in his own unique ways. I have watched heavy folks do fabulous things that take incredible will power, endurance, tenacity--- go to college, raise a child, decorate a house, mature in a marriage, be devoted to so many things. THEY DONT LACK WILL P OWER. GEEZ. Sometimes I feel like we are still in the age when doctors insisted that washing their freeking hands before touching patients was just a silly superstition. I SWEAR to you that someday docs will speak about the 'dark ages' of the 20th and early 21st centuries when people actually believed that a major organic varience in humans was a matter of failed character. ok, I am exhausted now (grin) love, ceep g-om Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 help them, help them understand. train them in skills no one else has, look ofr their gifts of herat, mind, soul and body and DEVELOP them. Lessons in o many things are possible, a twelve year old is old enough to do body building under expert supervision. A daughter who is growng heavy like her parent can be told to make the best choices possible, and that holding the line with weight is for big, medium and little people all-- we all have to do it no matter what size we are. Don't be afraid that any TRUTH you tell will make your child " bigger. " It won't. Heaviness as you know is a combination of factors; appetite and satiation issues, metabolism issues, genetic inheritances, mental stressors. in MHO, no 99% of heaviness is a combination of all these and about 10% will power. (I know that is 109% but that is how I see it. I have watched various tv hosts drag poor folks out in front of the camera who have lost massive amounts of weight, but I notice deeply that there are never 1 year, 2 yr, ten year follow-ups. You know why.) As you now I have a yung little grandson who is also on his way to heavy. This young soul is going to be the smartest, most loved and lving, most devloped in talent, most humor-filled, most caring for humanity, most creative young man that we can help him be. The key is we have to put in time. Lots of it. That's what we are doing. Teaching good food habits, but that is actually the least of it. The most of it is making sure he has the antidotes to the varous poisons wour culture and certain people give out to those who are different in any way. I VOW WITH EVERYTHING IN ME that this chld is not going to suffer from lack of information, lack of ability to bounce back, lack of ability to bind up his own wounds, lack of knoweldge about how to shine in his own unique ways. I have watched heavy folks do fabulous things that take incredible will power, endurance, tenacity--- go to college, raise a child, decorate a house, mature in a marriage, be devoted to so many things. THEY DONT LACK WILL P OWER. GEEZ. Sometimes I feel like we are still in the age when doctors insisted that washing their freeking hands before touching patients was just a silly superstition. I SWEAR to you that someday docs will speak about the 'dark ages' of the 20th and early 21st centuries when people actually believed that a major organic varience in humans was a matter of failed character. ok, I am exhausted now (grin) love, ceep g-om Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 In a message dated 4/10/2003 12:53:27 AM Eastern Standard Time, lacorona@... writes: > I SWEAR to you that someday docs will speak about the 'dark > ages' of the 20th and early 21st centuries when people actually believed > that > a major organic varience in humans was a matter of failed character. > > Ceep, I have two of these children. One obese and the other " normal. " My obese daughter had this surgery 11 months ago and went from a size 34 to a 16. Well, meaning family members keeping saying to her " now don't you feel better about yourself. " We sure do get a laugh about that. She has always had more self esteem than anyone who ever made that statement. As far as will power. Undergraduate Cornell, MBA NYU, Marketing Manager for a publisher. I remember when we were in Key West and everyone went Jet Skiing. I used the excuse of watching the grandbaby to not go. She went and forced them to find a safety vest that almost fit her and rode that jet ski with all of the pride in the world. She only had the surgery because she saw how successful my spouse and I were and there was so much more she wants to do and her weight was becoming an energy problem. Fay Bayuk **300/173 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 In a message dated 4/10/2003 12:53:27 AM Eastern Standard Time, lacorona@... writes: > I SWEAR to you that someday docs will speak about the 'dark > ages' of the 20th and early 21st centuries when people actually believed > that > a major organic varience in humans was a matter of failed character. > > Ceep, I have two of these children. One obese and the other " normal. " My obese daughter had this surgery 11 months ago and went from a size 34 to a 16. Well, meaning family members keeping saying to her " now don't you feel better about yourself. " We sure do get a laugh about that. She has always had more self esteem than anyone who ever made that statement. As far as will power. Undergraduate Cornell, MBA NYU, Marketing Manager for a publisher. I remember when we were in Key West and everyone went Jet Skiing. I used the excuse of watching the grandbaby to not go. She went and forced them to find a safety vest that almost fit her and rode that jet ski with all of the pride in the world. She only had the surgery because she saw how successful my spouse and I were and there was so much more she wants to do and her weight was becoming an energy problem. Fay Bayuk **300/173 10/23/01 Dr. Open RNY 150 cm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 In a message dated 4/10/03 1:05:37 AM, FBayuk writes: << She only had the surgery because she saw how successful my spouse and I were and there was so much more she wants to do and her weight was becoming an energy problem. >> PERFECT. What a wonderful family for all of you. love, ceep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2003 Report Share Posted April 9, 2003 In a message dated 4/10/03 1:05:37 AM, FBayuk writes: << She only had the surgery because she saw how successful my spouse and I were and there was so much more she wants to do and her weight was becoming an energy problem. >> PERFECT. What a wonderful family for all of you. love, ceep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2003 Report Share Posted April 10, 2003 I SWEAR to you that someday docs will speak about the 'dark > ages' of the 20th and early 21st centuries when people actually believed that > a major organic varience in humans was a matter of failed character. > Oboy, I am laminating a copy of this post!!! Wonderful. So now I have to talk about my kids. They are both adopted. We don't have photos of birth parents, but we do have stats of their physical nature when the children were born. Who could have read our genes at 19? Not all of us showed the direction ahead at that point. So we don't know. My son is 13, 5'7 " and 170 pounds. He's a widebody. Very strong. Plays baseball, trains and works out 5x a week, 52 weeks a year. Last year at the 12-and-under World Series, he was ranked the TOP player. Of all the 800 kids from all the premier teams in the country. My kid. He pitches 75 miles an hour and is a 450 hitter. He doesn't run very fast but he doesn't have to because he smacks the ball so hard. He has college and even major league scouts that come to his games. He was invited to a training camp run by the Montreal Expos WHEN HE WAS NINE. He hasn't hit puberty yet and has a round baby face. He thinks he's fat and feels bad about his body, while at the same time being totally confident of his physical abilities. It's fascinating. He also speaks fluent Spanish (so he can talk to his teammates in the majors, he says) and makes a 3.8 average in school. My daughter is 8. She's 5 feet tall, 100 pounds. Size 8 shoe. She'll be 6 feet tall when she's fully grown, according to the doctor. She is very strong, very muscular. She's on a competitive soccer team that travels all over the place. She tells me she wants to be " little and thin, like_____ " (whoever the current best friend is). Unless she's on the soccer field or in art class, she feels bad about herself. She has a few learning challenges, though she hasn't tested for any learning disabilities. Most of the time I think she struggles in school because she isn't challenged enough. She's a raging extrovert and makes friends in a flash. She thinks she's fat and struggles against her body's development all the time. She already has a few early signs of puberty which thouroughly ticks off her brother! The healing thread for both of them as they deal with their bodies is sports. I can't help but wonder how different my life might have been if that had been an option for me. Sorry to go on so --- thanks for enduring this mama rave. love Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2003 Report Share Posted April 10, 2003 I SWEAR to you that someday docs will speak about the 'dark > ages' of the 20th and early 21st centuries when people actually believed that > a major organic varience in humans was a matter of failed character. > Oboy, I am laminating a copy of this post!!! Wonderful. So now I have to talk about my kids. They are both adopted. We don't have photos of birth parents, but we do have stats of their physical nature when the children were born. Who could have read our genes at 19? Not all of us showed the direction ahead at that point. So we don't know. My son is 13, 5'7 " and 170 pounds. He's a widebody. Very strong. Plays baseball, trains and works out 5x a week, 52 weeks a year. Last year at the 12-and-under World Series, he was ranked the TOP player. Of all the 800 kids from all the premier teams in the country. My kid. He pitches 75 miles an hour and is a 450 hitter. He doesn't run very fast but he doesn't have to because he smacks the ball so hard. He has college and even major league scouts that come to his games. He was invited to a training camp run by the Montreal Expos WHEN HE WAS NINE. He hasn't hit puberty yet and has a round baby face. He thinks he's fat and feels bad about his body, while at the same time being totally confident of his physical abilities. It's fascinating. He also speaks fluent Spanish (so he can talk to his teammates in the majors, he says) and makes a 3.8 average in school. My daughter is 8. She's 5 feet tall, 100 pounds. Size 8 shoe. She'll be 6 feet tall when she's fully grown, according to the doctor. She is very strong, very muscular. She's on a competitive soccer team that travels all over the place. She tells me she wants to be " little and thin, like_____ " (whoever the current best friend is). Unless she's on the soccer field or in art class, she feels bad about herself. She has a few learning challenges, though she hasn't tested for any learning disabilities. Most of the time I think she struggles in school because she isn't challenged enough. She's a raging extrovert and makes friends in a flash. She thinks she's fat and struggles against her body's development all the time. She already has a few early signs of puberty which thouroughly ticks off her brother! The healing thread for both of them as they deal with their bodies is sports. I can't help but wonder how different my life might have been if that had been an option for me. Sorry to go on so --- thanks for enduring this mama rave. love Ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2003 Report Share Posted April 10, 2003 Ann.....I too was extremely active in sports as a teen.....I played Varsity Volleyball and Rugby at the same time.....I never stopped moving....I honestly don't even remember having time to eat. Yet I never shed a pound.....stayed in the 180's all through my teen years. Looking back on pictures I have the exact same thighs now that I did then!! P. Re: children who are heavy > I SWEAR to you that someday docs will speak about the 'dark > > ages' of the 20th and early 21st centuries when people actually believed that > > a major organic varience in humans was a matter of failed character. > > > > > Oboy, I am laminating a copy of this post!!! Wonderful. > > So now I have to talk about my kids. > > They are both adopted. We don't have photos of birth parents, but we do have stats of their physical nature when the children were born. Who could have read our genes at 19? Not all of us showed the direction ahead at that point. So we don't know. > > My son is 13, 5'7 " and 170 pounds. He's a widebody. Very strong. Plays baseball, trains and works out 5x a week, 52 weeks a year. Last year at the 12-and-under World Series, he was ranked the TOP player. Of all the 800 kids from all the premier teams in the country. My kid. He pitches 75 miles an hour and is a 450 hitter. He doesn't run very fast but he doesn't have to because he smacks the ball so hard. He has college and even major league scouts that come to his games. He was invited to a training camp run by the Montreal Expos WHEN HE WAS NINE. He hasn't hit puberty yet and has a round baby face. He thinks he's fat and feels bad about his body, while at the same time being totally confident of his physical abilities. It's fascinating. He also speaks fluent Spanish (so he can talk to his teammates in the majors, he says) and makes a 3.8 average in school. > > My daughter is 8. She's 5 feet tall, 100 pounds. Size 8 shoe. She'll be 6 feet tall when she's fully grown, according to the doctor. She is very strong, very muscular. She's on a competitive soccer team that travels all over the place. She tells me she wants to be " little and thin, like_____ " (whoever the current best friend is). Unless she's on the soccer field or in art class, she feels bad about herself. She has a few learning challenges, though she hasn't tested for any learning disabilities. Most of the time I think she struggles in school because she isn't challenged enough. She's a raging extrovert and makes friends in a flash. She thinks she's fat and struggles against her body's development all the time. She already has a few early signs of puberty which thouroughly ticks off her brother! > > The healing thread for both of them as they deal with their bodies is sports. I can't help but wonder how different my life might have been if that had been an option for me. > > Sorry to go on so --- thanks for enduring this mama rave. > > love > Ann > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2003 Report Share Posted April 10, 2003 Ann.....I too was extremely active in sports as a teen.....I played Varsity Volleyball and Rugby at the same time.....I never stopped moving....I honestly don't even remember having time to eat. Yet I never shed a pound.....stayed in the 180's all through my teen years. Looking back on pictures I have the exact same thighs now that I did then!! P. Re: children who are heavy > I SWEAR to you that someday docs will speak about the 'dark > > ages' of the 20th and early 21st centuries when people actually believed that > > a major organic varience in humans was a matter of failed character. > > > > > Oboy, I am laminating a copy of this post!!! Wonderful. > > So now I have to talk about my kids. > > They are both adopted. We don't have photos of birth parents, but we do have stats of their physical nature when the children were born. Who could have read our genes at 19? Not all of us showed the direction ahead at that point. So we don't know. > > My son is 13, 5'7 " and 170 pounds. He's a widebody. Very strong. Plays baseball, trains and works out 5x a week, 52 weeks a year. Last year at the 12-and-under World Series, he was ranked the TOP player. Of all the 800 kids from all the premier teams in the country. My kid. He pitches 75 miles an hour and is a 450 hitter. He doesn't run very fast but he doesn't have to because he smacks the ball so hard. He has college and even major league scouts that come to his games. He was invited to a training camp run by the Montreal Expos WHEN HE WAS NINE. He hasn't hit puberty yet and has a round baby face. He thinks he's fat and feels bad about his body, while at the same time being totally confident of his physical abilities. It's fascinating. He also speaks fluent Spanish (so he can talk to his teammates in the majors, he says) and makes a 3.8 average in school. > > My daughter is 8. She's 5 feet tall, 100 pounds. Size 8 shoe. She'll be 6 feet tall when she's fully grown, according to the doctor. She is very strong, very muscular. She's on a competitive soccer team that travels all over the place. She tells me she wants to be " little and thin, like_____ " (whoever the current best friend is). Unless she's on the soccer field or in art class, she feels bad about herself. She has a few learning challenges, though she hasn't tested for any learning disabilities. Most of the time I think she struggles in school because she isn't challenged enough. She's a raging extrovert and makes friends in a flash. She thinks she's fat and struggles against her body's development all the time. She already has a few early signs of puberty which thouroughly ticks off her brother! > > The healing thread for both of them as they deal with their bodies is sports. I can't help but wonder how different my life might have been if that had been an option for me. > > Sorry to go on so --- thanks for enduring this mama rave. > > love > Ann > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2003 Report Share Posted April 10, 2003 <<train them in skills no one else has, look ofr their gifts of herat, mind, soul and body and DEVELOP them. Lessons in o many things are possible, >> My daughter (15) is obese. She was big as a baby, bigger as a toddler, and entered obesity at about 12. Today, at 5'6 " , she weighs about 210 (size 18-20). She certainly has issues, but none of them are wrapped up in her appearance or her size near as I can tell (and I do a lot of spying, so I know a lot of her " inner thoughts " - most of her issues seem to be focused around her over-protective mother and expectations of perfection). Our house has always been a place where size is okay, gender and racial preferences are okay, and the girls have been raised believing they were wonderful and beautiful and it had nothing to do with the way their physical appearance was (although I have always found them physically beautiful and told them that too <g>). She has lots of friends, seems to be entering the dating game with relative success, and has never considered the concept that she might not be able to do anything she wanted to. At the same time, her obesity is so horribly painful for me to watch. She suffers from PCOS which is directly related to her weight; it is the PCOS symptoms that tend to bother her more. I see her struggling with the same metabolism issues I did (this kid eats around 1,200 calories a day and stays heavy). I am afraid I see her developing food issues, but I can't tell for sure. I agonize over her size, and the possible medical issues, and whether I should encourage her to have surgery at an early age. Daughter #2 seems to have no size or weight problems by age 10. Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2003 Report Share Posted April 10, 2003 <<train them in skills no one else has, look ofr their gifts of herat, mind, soul and body and DEVELOP them. Lessons in o many things are possible, >> My daughter (15) is obese. She was big as a baby, bigger as a toddler, and entered obesity at about 12. Today, at 5'6 " , she weighs about 210 (size 18-20). She certainly has issues, but none of them are wrapped up in her appearance or her size near as I can tell (and I do a lot of spying, so I know a lot of her " inner thoughts " - most of her issues seem to be focused around her over-protective mother and expectations of perfection). Our house has always been a place where size is okay, gender and racial preferences are okay, and the girls have been raised believing they were wonderful and beautiful and it had nothing to do with the way their physical appearance was (although I have always found them physically beautiful and told them that too <g>). She has lots of friends, seems to be entering the dating game with relative success, and has never considered the concept that she might not be able to do anything she wanted to. At the same time, her obesity is so horribly painful for me to watch. She suffers from PCOS which is directly related to her weight; it is the PCOS symptoms that tend to bother her more. I see her struggling with the same metabolism issues I did (this kid eats around 1,200 calories a day and stays heavy). I am afraid I see her developing food issues, but I can't tell for sure. I agonize over her size, and the possible medical issues, and whether I should encourage her to have surgery at an early age. Daughter #2 seems to have no size or weight problems by age 10. Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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