Guest guest Posted March 9, 2004 Report Share Posted March 9, 2004 , My husband was the same way, but you have to come to a point where you quit letting the lazy ways of others get in the way of what you want. I went, had my surgery, came home and nothing got done, but I didn't feel good enough to even care and just kept in the back of my mind that this was for me and I was going to stick to the plan. I had a really close girlfriend that came in and helped a couple times too, so maybe that would be an option... Krys Post-Op troubles Hi, as most of you know my surgery is sceduled for April 2nd, and it's gonna be done Open. I am nervous about the surgery yes, but, my biggest problem is my husband........ It's not that he doesn't support me having the surgery but, he's lazy and doesn't do a stitch of house work ever and I'm the one who works!! I am worried about how things around here (my children, the house work, etc.) are gonna be taken care of. I know that as soon as I am home from the hospital, he's gonna expect me to go back to doing what I did before. I mean, he did after I had my daughter c-section so, why wouldn't he now?? I am almost to the point that maybe I shouldn't have surgery. I know I am just being a baby about things but, if you all only knew what he was like you all would understand. Anyway, I just had to vent to someone and you all are my " family " so I am venting to you. in MI Pre-Op ( surgery date is April 2nd) 325 Mom to Nate-5 and Maylynn-2 " I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining. I believe in love, even when not feeling it. I believe in God, even when He is silent " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2004 Report Share Posted March 9, 2004 , My husband was the same way, but you have to come to a point where you quit letting the lazy ways of others get in the way of what you want. I went, had my surgery, came home and nothing got done, but I didn't feel good enough to even care and just kept in the back of my mind that this was for me and I was going to stick to the plan. I had a really close girlfriend that came in and helped a couple times too, so maybe that would be an option... Krys Post-Op troubles Hi, as most of you know my surgery is sceduled for April 2nd, and it's gonna be done Open. I am nervous about the surgery yes, but, my biggest problem is my husband........ It's not that he doesn't support me having the surgery but, he's lazy and doesn't do a stitch of house work ever and I'm the one who works!! I am worried about how things around here (my children, the house work, etc.) are gonna be taken care of. I know that as soon as I am home from the hospital, he's gonna expect me to go back to doing what I did before. I mean, he did after I had my daughter c-section so, why wouldn't he now?? I am almost to the point that maybe I shouldn't have surgery. I know I am just being a baby about things but, if you all only knew what he was like you all would understand. Anyway, I just had to vent to someone and you all are my " family " so I am venting to you. in MI Pre-Op ( surgery date is April 2nd) 325 Mom to Nate-5 and Maylynn-2 " I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining. I believe in love, even when not feeling it. I believe in God, even when He is silent " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2004 Report Share Posted March 9, 2004 my hubby is the same. he wasn't here for my surgery. (in baghdad). but things will get done. they will. i have 2 girls and i did it by myself. i mean i had a little help buut i did most. i just went very slow for the first weel due to the jackson prat tube in me for 7 days. but you will be fine. get the surgery your hubby will see you can do anything and he will help. trust me my hubby is the same lazy but head..lol but i love him. it will come together. nora --- cheyanne1113@... wrote: > Hi, as most of you know my surgery is sceduled for > April 2nd, and it's gonna > be done Open. I am nervous about the surgery yes, > but, my biggest problem is > my husband........ It's not that he doesn't support > me having the surgery but, > he's lazy and doesn't do a stitch of house work ever > and I'm the one who > works!! I am worried about how things around here > (my children, the house work, > etc.) are gonna be taken care of. I know that as > soon as I am home from the > hospital, he's gonna expect me to go back to doing > what I did before. I mean, > he did after I had my daughter c-section so, why > wouldn't he now?? I am almost > to the point that maybe I shouldn't have surgery. I > know I am just being a > baby about things but, if you all only knew what he > was like you all would > understand. Anyway, I just had to vent to someone > and you all are my " family " so > I am venting to you. > > > in MI > Pre-Op ( surgery date is April 2nd) > 325 > Mom to Nate-5 and Maylynn-2 > > " I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining. > I believe in love, even > when not feeling it. I believe in God, even when He > is silent " > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > ===== Freedom Prevails Because Hero's Serve. - Trulock Family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2004 Report Share Posted March 9, 2004 my hubby is the same. he wasn't here for my surgery. (in baghdad). but things will get done. they will. i have 2 girls and i did it by myself. i mean i had a little help buut i did most. i just went very slow for the first weel due to the jackson prat tube in me for 7 days. but you will be fine. get the surgery your hubby will see you can do anything and he will help. trust me my hubby is the same lazy but head..lol but i love him. it will come together. nora --- cheyanne1113@... wrote: > Hi, as most of you know my surgery is sceduled for > April 2nd, and it's gonna > be done Open. I am nervous about the surgery yes, > but, my biggest problem is > my husband........ It's not that he doesn't support > me having the surgery but, > he's lazy and doesn't do a stitch of house work ever > and I'm the one who > works!! I am worried about how things around here > (my children, the house work, > etc.) are gonna be taken care of. I know that as > soon as I am home from the > hospital, he's gonna expect me to go back to doing > what I did before. I mean, > he did after I had my daughter c-section so, why > wouldn't he now?? I am almost > to the point that maybe I shouldn't have surgery. I > know I am just being a > baby about things but, if you all only knew what he > was like you all would > understand. Anyway, I just had to vent to someone > and you all are my " family " so > I am venting to you. > > > in MI > Pre-Op ( surgery date is April 2nd) > 325 > Mom to Nate-5 and Maylynn-2 > > " I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining. > I believe in love, even > when not feeling it. I believe in God, even when He > is silent " > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > ===== Freedom Prevails Because Hero's Serve. - Trulock Family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2004 Report Share Posted March 10, 2004 I would place an ad in the paper for temporary childcare/housekeeping. You will definitely need this for small children. You can also prepare lots of meals ahead for your family and freeze them. Most importantly, I would lay it on the line for hubby now. Tell him what to expect. Tell him you are hiring help - no negotiating. Your doctor may be able to help too. He can explain your limitations either by phone or letter to hubby. Best of luck, 11/18/03 284/249 preop/192/? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2004 Report Share Posted March 10, 2004 I would place an ad in the paper for temporary childcare/housekeeping. You will definitely need this for small children. You can also prepare lots of meals ahead for your family and freeze them. Most importantly, I would lay it on the line for hubby now. Tell him what to expect. Tell him you are hiring help - no negotiating. Your doctor may be able to help too. He can explain your limitations either by phone or letter to hubby. Best of luck, 11/18/03 284/249 preop/192/? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2004 Report Share Posted March 10, 2004 > > > Hi ! Don't give up on having a healthier and happier life. I was having the same problems here and I just sat my family down and we talked about how things were going to have to change when I have my surgery; especially the first few weeks. I made up a list of chores for everyone to do and on what day they were expected to do it. Even for my husband!!He kind of chuckled like right what's this - but he does look at the list on the fridge and on his days to put dishes away or fix breakfast he is doing it! My 5 year old loves her to do list, sweeping the kitchen, picking up toys, helping to fold clothes (she suprised me here she does a good job!) (and no it isnt always the best or as I would do it - but it gives her a sence of pride and I only have to do deep cleaning half as often. If you have neighbors or friends who may bring over a dinner a coupole of the first few nights you are home that would help take that pressure off you and hopefully encourage the hubby to help keep things picked up knowing company was coming over. The threat of having to pay a sitter or housecleaner is good one also! I believe most of us have always worried about everyone else most of our lives and it is hard for us not to feel guilty for wanting to do this for ourselves(and our families) even if it puts them out for a short while. YOU ARE WORTH IT and I hope everything goes smoothly for you! Michele Goodman, Dayton OR 390 5'7'' BMI 62 Pre-OP (waiting on approval) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2004 Report Share Posted March 10, 2004 > > > Hi ! Don't give up on having a healthier and happier life. I was having the same problems here and I just sat my family down and we talked about how things were going to have to change when I have my surgery; especially the first few weeks. I made up a list of chores for everyone to do and on what day they were expected to do it. Even for my husband!!He kind of chuckled like right what's this - but he does look at the list on the fridge and on his days to put dishes away or fix breakfast he is doing it! My 5 year old loves her to do list, sweeping the kitchen, picking up toys, helping to fold clothes (she suprised me here she does a good job!) (and no it isnt always the best or as I would do it - but it gives her a sence of pride and I only have to do deep cleaning half as often. If you have neighbors or friends who may bring over a dinner a coupole of the first few nights you are home that would help take that pressure off you and hopefully encourage the hubby to help keep things picked up knowing company was coming over. The threat of having to pay a sitter or housecleaner is good one also! I believe most of us have always worried about everyone else most of our lives and it is hard for us not to feel guilty for wanting to do this for ourselves(and our families) even if it puts them out for a short while. YOU ARE WORTH IT and I hope everything goes smoothly for you! Michele Goodman, Dayton OR 390 5'7'' BMI 62 Pre-OP (waiting on approval) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2004 Report Share Posted March 10, 2004 That would be GREAT if I wasn't poor! LOL, thanks for the advice but, there is now way I can hire myself help. I'll figure something out. in MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2004 Report Share Posted March 10, 2004 That would be GREAT if I wasn't poor! LOL, thanks for the advice but, there is now way I can hire myself help. I'll figure something out. in MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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