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In a message dated 2/11/03 8:39:26 PM Central Standard Time, inocent1@...

writes:

<< What does it make me to have all of these???? >>

-----------------------------

Just human, dear heart, like all the rest of us trying to muddle thru.

Carol A

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In a message dated 2/11/03 8:39:26 PM Central Standard Time, inocent1@...

writes:

<< What does it make me to have all of these???? >>

-----------------------------

Just human, dear heart, like all the rest of us trying to muddle thru.

Carol A

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In a message dated 2/12/2003 12:31:56 AM Eastern Standard Time,

tuesdynite@... writes:

> Just human, dear heart, like all the rest of us trying to muddle thru.

>

> Carol A

>

Ain't that the truth.

Fay Bayuk -

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In a message dated 2/12/2003 12:31:56 AM Eastern Standard Time,

tuesdynite@... writes:

> Just human, dear heart, like all the rest of us trying to muddle thru.

>

> Carol A

>

Ain't that the truth.

Fay Bayuk -

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Staci, I asked my PCP to refer me to a therapist. He said he hadn't met one

that he could recommend. I do go to a psychiatrist (very expensive, but

worth it) once a year for meds. They know more about prescribing meds than

anyone. For regular therapy, if I hadn't already had years of it, I would at

this time ask my psychiatrist for a recommendation.

Whatever you do check credentials. For instance, I trust Ceep because not

only is she one of us, she has credentials a mile long.

Your surgeon often has someone associated with him/her.

I do think these boards offer me so much too.

Fay Bayuk

300/175

10/23/01

Dr

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Staci, I asked my PCP to refer me to a therapist. He said he hadn't met one

that he could recommend. I do go to a psychiatrist (very expensive, but

worth it) once a year for meds. They know more about prescribing meds than

anyone. For regular therapy, if I hadn't already had years of it, I would at

this time ask my psychiatrist for a recommendation.

Whatever you do check credentials. For instance, I trust Ceep because not

only is she one of us, she has credentials a mile long.

Your surgeon often has someone associated with him/her.

I do think these boards offer me so much too.

Fay Bayuk

300/175

10/23/01

Dr

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>>Most of the time, I am one put-together chick! I am in control and in

charge!! And then it feels as though things spin out of control and all is

lost and hopeless.<<<

*** The combination " spin out of control " (panic) and hopeless (and/or

overwhelmed with no way out...) (panic/depression too...) does seem to be a

common thread that a LOT of us have (not everyone) so at least your in good

company ~smile~ Wellbutrin (IMO/Experience) works good on the panic/control

help issue but an SSRI, not Prozac if the side effects are yuck but maybe

Zoloft, Paxil, Celexa??? Might be just a tad more to get more level -- just

from what I've seen it usually takes a combination of the

anti/panic/depressant to get really level.... combined with therapy is great

when possible..

>>> I've been to therapy (never lasted more than a few sessions because I

didn't feel it helpful).<<<

***I think a person has to " match up " with the right therapist type

person... I went through a bunch of different ones before I found a match

and have kept him for the last 8+ years -- he matches not just me but my

family when that need comes up -- before I even knew I had eating disorders

(I always used food in a disorderly fashion) he does groups for eating

behavior, he has 2 adopted daughters (I have one) he's married in long term

relationship (me too) he doesn't pretend to be perfect or live by the

psycho-babble that is " supposed " to work but puts into practice just

" regular stuff " kind of things.

***Seems to me that when we live daily with abuse as children/teens and

even adults we never learn the skills that others learn -- the simple stuff

of how to cope with daily issues (we're just trying to survive... to hell

with the normal day to day stuff!) Many people pick up something to help

" cope " with the daily stuff once we get ourselves out of the abusive

situations -- living life daily is just totally foreign... other things that

people seem to do so easily, paying bills, cleaning house or laundry or

well, anything done just in the usual routine of a day.... many just never

learned how to do those things. Put in the situation like going to the

grocery store, for me, can be a whole day of huge panic and never actually

getting that done -- then feeling like a failure for inability to go buy

milk and bread (depression and self esteem) and the cycle continues long

after the actual abuse stops.

>>> At almost 38, I feel as though I'm only just STARTING to figure out how

to live and love. I also know that there MUST be a therapist out there who

can help me heal (it's a terrible thing to shrink away from your wonderful

significant other's touch because of still trying desperately to deal with

past abuse...)<<<<

****It is only " terrible " because it keeps you from fully enjoying your own

life now -- in a way, even when the abusers are dead or gone the abuse keeps

going... I hope you keep looking for a therapist or some places have a very

small group (like 5 women max) that is very closed to help each other heal

from the abuses -- or one on one with a therapist, combination of both (?)

It helped me at first to be involved with other women because then I didn't

feel like I was the " only " one and it was easier to talk without always

having to finish a sentence in detail because they knew what you meant

without having to say it all... writing and journaling can be healing too --

art therapy? Just get a sketch pad and a box of pastels or *your choice* and

draw, color, create -- just for yourself... you don't have to be an artist

but for many things pictures are better than words.

Most " healing " work is going to be done by the person who is doing the

healing -- the therapist type person is only there to facilitate the work...

slow it down or speed it up or help get over the huge hurdles... they can't

do the work for us and they shouldn't pretend that they can.

The usual abusers use alcohol, drugs, food and other things to help " not "

feel so it doesn't surprise me at all that some become obese (it is a lot of

extra protection when we wear layers of fat to cover ourselves up...) It

also seems like when we loose those layers of protection we become a lot

more vulnerable again (in feeling..) so a lot of the past comes back to

haunt yet again -- for those of us like us (~smile~ make sense?) we will go

forward and heal or we will turn to an alternative like drugs or alcohol,

self mutilation or our own worst fears of turning back to food...

So, I do think it is important to begin the healing process and to keep

moving forward (no matter how slowly it seems...) and getting a professional

involved can be very helpful if it is a good match. It is very frustrating

looking for the " right " professional that fits your needs but worth the

effort.

hugz,

~denise

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>>Most of the time, I am one put-together chick! I am in control and in

charge!! And then it feels as though things spin out of control and all is

lost and hopeless.<<<

*** The combination " spin out of control " (panic) and hopeless (and/or

overwhelmed with no way out...) (panic/depression too...) does seem to be a

common thread that a LOT of us have (not everyone) so at least your in good

company ~smile~ Wellbutrin (IMO/Experience) works good on the panic/control

help issue but an SSRI, not Prozac if the side effects are yuck but maybe

Zoloft, Paxil, Celexa??? Might be just a tad more to get more level -- just

from what I've seen it usually takes a combination of the

anti/panic/depressant to get really level.... combined with therapy is great

when possible..

>>> I've been to therapy (never lasted more than a few sessions because I

didn't feel it helpful).<<<

***I think a person has to " match up " with the right therapist type

person... I went through a bunch of different ones before I found a match

and have kept him for the last 8+ years -- he matches not just me but my

family when that need comes up -- before I even knew I had eating disorders

(I always used food in a disorderly fashion) he does groups for eating

behavior, he has 2 adopted daughters (I have one) he's married in long term

relationship (me too) he doesn't pretend to be perfect or live by the

psycho-babble that is " supposed " to work but puts into practice just

" regular stuff " kind of things.

***Seems to me that when we live daily with abuse as children/teens and

even adults we never learn the skills that others learn -- the simple stuff

of how to cope with daily issues (we're just trying to survive... to hell

with the normal day to day stuff!) Many people pick up something to help

" cope " with the daily stuff once we get ourselves out of the abusive

situations -- living life daily is just totally foreign... other things that

people seem to do so easily, paying bills, cleaning house or laundry or

well, anything done just in the usual routine of a day.... many just never

learned how to do those things. Put in the situation like going to the

grocery store, for me, can be a whole day of huge panic and never actually

getting that done -- then feeling like a failure for inability to go buy

milk and bread (depression and self esteem) and the cycle continues long

after the actual abuse stops.

>>> At almost 38, I feel as though I'm only just STARTING to figure out how

to live and love. I also know that there MUST be a therapist out there who

can help me heal (it's a terrible thing to shrink away from your wonderful

significant other's touch because of still trying desperately to deal with

past abuse...)<<<<

****It is only " terrible " because it keeps you from fully enjoying your own

life now -- in a way, even when the abusers are dead or gone the abuse keeps

going... I hope you keep looking for a therapist or some places have a very

small group (like 5 women max) that is very closed to help each other heal

from the abuses -- or one on one with a therapist, combination of both (?)

It helped me at first to be involved with other women because then I didn't

feel like I was the " only " one and it was easier to talk without always

having to finish a sentence in detail because they knew what you meant

without having to say it all... writing and journaling can be healing too --

art therapy? Just get a sketch pad and a box of pastels or *your choice* and

draw, color, create -- just for yourself... you don't have to be an artist

but for many things pictures are better than words.

Most " healing " work is going to be done by the person who is doing the

healing -- the therapist type person is only there to facilitate the work...

slow it down or speed it up or help get over the huge hurdles... they can't

do the work for us and they shouldn't pretend that they can.

The usual abusers use alcohol, drugs, food and other things to help " not "

feel so it doesn't surprise me at all that some become obese (it is a lot of

extra protection when we wear layers of fat to cover ourselves up...) It

also seems like when we loose those layers of protection we become a lot

more vulnerable again (in feeling..) so a lot of the past comes back to

haunt yet again -- for those of us like us (~smile~ make sense?) we will go

forward and heal or we will turn to an alternative like drugs or alcohol,

self mutilation or our own worst fears of turning back to food...

So, I do think it is important to begin the healing process and to keep

moving forward (no matter how slowly it seems...) and getting a professional

involved can be very helpful if it is a good match. It is very frustrating

looking for the " right " professional that fits your needs but worth the

effort.

hugz,

~denise

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