Guest guest Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 In a message dated 2/11/03 8:39:26 PM Central Standard Time, inocent1@... writes: << What does it make me to have all of these???? >> ----------------------------- Just human, dear heart, like all the rest of us trying to muddle thru. Carol A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 In a message dated 2/11/03 8:39:26 PM Central Standard Time, inocent1@... writes: << What does it make me to have all of these???? >> ----------------------------- Just human, dear heart, like all the rest of us trying to muddle thru. Carol A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 In a message dated 2/12/2003 12:31:56 AM Eastern Standard Time, tuesdynite@... writes: > Just human, dear heart, like all the rest of us trying to muddle thru. > > Carol A > Ain't that the truth. Fay Bayuk - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 In a message dated 2/12/2003 12:31:56 AM Eastern Standard Time, tuesdynite@... writes: > Just human, dear heart, like all the rest of us trying to muddle thru. > > Carol A > Ain't that the truth. Fay Bayuk - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Staci, I asked my PCP to refer me to a therapist. He said he hadn't met one that he could recommend. I do go to a psychiatrist (very expensive, but worth it) once a year for meds. They know more about prescribing meds than anyone. For regular therapy, if I hadn't already had years of it, I would at this time ask my psychiatrist for a recommendation. Whatever you do check credentials. For instance, I trust Ceep because not only is she one of us, she has credentials a mile long. Your surgeon often has someone associated with him/her. I do think these boards offer me so much too. Fay Bayuk 300/175 10/23/01 Dr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 2003 Report Share Posted February 11, 2003 Staci, I asked my PCP to refer me to a therapist. He said he hadn't met one that he could recommend. I do go to a psychiatrist (very expensive, but worth it) once a year for meds. They know more about prescribing meds than anyone. For regular therapy, if I hadn't already had years of it, I would at this time ask my psychiatrist for a recommendation. Whatever you do check credentials. For instance, I trust Ceep because not only is she one of us, she has credentials a mile long. Your surgeon often has someone associated with him/her. I do think these boards offer me so much too. Fay Bayuk 300/175 10/23/01 Dr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2003 Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 >>Most of the time, I am one put-together chick! I am in control and in charge!! And then it feels as though things spin out of control and all is lost and hopeless.<<< *** The combination " spin out of control " (panic) and hopeless (and/or overwhelmed with no way out...) (panic/depression too...) does seem to be a common thread that a LOT of us have (not everyone) so at least your in good company ~smile~ Wellbutrin (IMO/Experience) works good on the panic/control help issue but an SSRI, not Prozac if the side effects are yuck but maybe Zoloft, Paxil, Celexa??? Might be just a tad more to get more level -- just from what I've seen it usually takes a combination of the anti/panic/depressant to get really level.... combined with therapy is great when possible.. >>> I've been to therapy (never lasted more than a few sessions because I didn't feel it helpful).<<< ***I think a person has to " match up " with the right therapist type person... I went through a bunch of different ones before I found a match and have kept him for the last 8+ years -- he matches not just me but my family when that need comes up -- before I even knew I had eating disorders (I always used food in a disorderly fashion) he does groups for eating behavior, he has 2 adopted daughters (I have one) he's married in long term relationship (me too) he doesn't pretend to be perfect or live by the psycho-babble that is " supposed " to work but puts into practice just " regular stuff " kind of things. ***Seems to me that when we live daily with abuse as children/teens and even adults we never learn the skills that others learn -- the simple stuff of how to cope with daily issues (we're just trying to survive... to hell with the normal day to day stuff!) Many people pick up something to help " cope " with the daily stuff once we get ourselves out of the abusive situations -- living life daily is just totally foreign... other things that people seem to do so easily, paying bills, cleaning house or laundry or well, anything done just in the usual routine of a day.... many just never learned how to do those things. Put in the situation like going to the grocery store, for me, can be a whole day of huge panic and never actually getting that done -- then feeling like a failure for inability to go buy milk and bread (depression and self esteem) and the cycle continues long after the actual abuse stops. >>> At almost 38, I feel as though I'm only just STARTING to figure out how to live and love. I also know that there MUST be a therapist out there who can help me heal (it's a terrible thing to shrink away from your wonderful significant other's touch because of still trying desperately to deal with past abuse...)<<<< ****It is only " terrible " because it keeps you from fully enjoying your own life now -- in a way, even when the abusers are dead or gone the abuse keeps going... I hope you keep looking for a therapist or some places have a very small group (like 5 women max) that is very closed to help each other heal from the abuses -- or one on one with a therapist, combination of both (?) It helped me at first to be involved with other women because then I didn't feel like I was the " only " one and it was easier to talk without always having to finish a sentence in detail because they knew what you meant without having to say it all... writing and journaling can be healing too -- art therapy? Just get a sketch pad and a box of pastels or *your choice* and draw, color, create -- just for yourself... you don't have to be an artist but for many things pictures are better than words. Most " healing " work is going to be done by the person who is doing the healing -- the therapist type person is only there to facilitate the work... slow it down or speed it up or help get over the huge hurdles... they can't do the work for us and they shouldn't pretend that they can. The usual abusers use alcohol, drugs, food and other things to help " not " feel so it doesn't surprise me at all that some become obese (it is a lot of extra protection when we wear layers of fat to cover ourselves up...) It also seems like when we loose those layers of protection we become a lot more vulnerable again (in feeling..) so a lot of the past comes back to haunt yet again -- for those of us like us (~smile~ make sense?) we will go forward and heal or we will turn to an alternative like drugs or alcohol, self mutilation or our own worst fears of turning back to food... So, I do think it is important to begin the healing process and to keep moving forward (no matter how slowly it seems...) and getting a professional involved can be very helpful if it is a good match. It is very frustrating looking for the " right " professional that fits your needs but worth the effort. hugz, ~denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2003 Report Share Posted February 12, 2003 >>Most of the time, I am one put-together chick! I am in control and in charge!! And then it feels as though things spin out of control and all is lost and hopeless.<<< *** The combination " spin out of control " (panic) and hopeless (and/or overwhelmed with no way out...) (panic/depression too...) does seem to be a common thread that a LOT of us have (not everyone) so at least your in good company ~smile~ Wellbutrin (IMO/Experience) works good on the panic/control help issue but an SSRI, not Prozac if the side effects are yuck but maybe Zoloft, Paxil, Celexa??? Might be just a tad more to get more level -- just from what I've seen it usually takes a combination of the anti/panic/depressant to get really level.... combined with therapy is great when possible.. >>> I've been to therapy (never lasted more than a few sessions because I didn't feel it helpful).<<< ***I think a person has to " match up " with the right therapist type person... I went through a bunch of different ones before I found a match and have kept him for the last 8+ years -- he matches not just me but my family when that need comes up -- before I even knew I had eating disorders (I always used food in a disorderly fashion) he does groups for eating behavior, he has 2 adopted daughters (I have one) he's married in long term relationship (me too) he doesn't pretend to be perfect or live by the psycho-babble that is " supposed " to work but puts into practice just " regular stuff " kind of things. ***Seems to me that when we live daily with abuse as children/teens and even adults we never learn the skills that others learn -- the simple stuff of how to cope with daily issues (we're just trying to survive... to hell with the normal day to day stuff!) Many people pick up something to help " cope " with the daily stuff once we get ourselves out of the abusive situations -- living life daily is just totally foreign... other things that people seem to do so easily, paying bills, cleaning house or laundry or well, anything done just in the usual routine of a day.... many just never learned how to do those things. Put in the situation like going to the grocery store, for me, can be a whole day of huge panic and never actually getting that done -- then feeling like a failure for inability to go buy milk and bread (depression and self esteem) and the cycle continues long after the actual abuse stops. >>> At almost 38, I feel as though I'm only just STARTING to figure out how to live and love. I also know that there MUST be a therapist out there who can help me heal (it's a terrible thing to shrink away from your wonderful significant other's touch because of still trying desperately to deal with past abuse...)<<<< ****It is only " terrible " because it keeps you from fully enjoying your own life now -- in a way, even when the abusers are dead or gone the abuse keeps going... I hope you keep looking for a therapist or some places have a very small group (like 5 women max) that is very closed to help each other heal from the abuses -- or one on one with a therapist, combination of both (?) It helped me at first to be involved with other women because then I didn't feel like I was the " only " one and it was easier to talk without always having to finish a sentence in detail because they knew what you meant without having to say it all... writing and journaling can be healing too -- art therapy? Just get a sketch pad and a box of pastels or *your choice* and draw, color, create -- just for yourself... you don't have to be an artist but for many things pictures are better than words. Most " healing " work is going to be done by the person who is doing the healing -- the therapist type person is only there to facilitate the work... slow it down or speed it up or help get over the huge hurdles... they can't do the work for us and they shouldn't pretend that they can. The usual abusers use alcohol, drugs, food and other things to help " not " feel so it doesn't surprise me at all that some become obese (it is a lot of extra protection when we wear layers of fat to cover ourselves up...) It also seems like when we loose those layers of protection we become a lot more vulnerable again (in feeling..) so a lot of the past comes back to haunt yet again -- for those of us like us (~smile~ make sense?) we will go forward and heal or we will turn to an alternative like drugs or alcohol, self mutilation or our own worst fears of turning back to food... So, I do think it is important to begin the healing process and to keep moving forward (no matter how slowly it seems...) and getting a professional involved can be very helpful if it is a good match. It is very frustrating looking for the " right " professional that fits your needs but worth the effort. hugz, ~denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.