OT Cyns baby Dona Rose

March 13, 2003

Sorry for the cross posts but this is long and hard to wright. Id

like to also say Yahoo has been driveing me crazy, they wouldnt

let me into my groups on sight or any other way. So if some

one posted to me im sorry I didnt respond. I really appreciate

all the suport and prayers you all have been sending up for my

family. Its been such a tough time for us and I want you all to

know how much you have helped me through all this. Thank you for

letting me cry on your sholders and for all your comforting words.

It helped more than you could ever know. I got 200 emials so

looks like im back on this time for sure Grrrrrrrrr.

Cyn called me at work on monday around 2 and told me the baby was

dead. She had been to the doc and had another ultra sound and

they couldnt find a heart beat. She was crying and quite distraunt.

had to interp for her she was unable to relay the message

to me. I had been expecting the call every since last thursday

when we found out the baby had no hope of living, It wasnt parvo

or bad blood.

Cyn kept saying that this baby was going to beat the odds and

live. I knew in my heart it more than likely wasnt. I just

prayed for Strength for me to be there and strong for Cyn and

and for God to guide me to do and say the right things

when the time would come.

After the second oppinion I informed the owner of the school that

Id have to take a few days off to be there for cyn. I was

informed that there were 2 other instructors just waiting to come

to Vancouve to work. I was told my job was in jeperdy I said do

what ever you want cause im outa here when cyn calls. Then I

said if you fire me ill sue your ass and i left and went to

lunch to cool off.

When I got back from lunch my boss tried to cool me off and be

comforting. I informed her I hoped I had a job to come bsck to

but if not so be because I will be with my daughter.

After Cyn called me this monday 3/10/03 I was so rattled I couldnt

think. I had my cell phone with me and took her call in class

since I cnt hear on the school phones.

I could feel the color drain from my face.

I had three new students in class who had no clue on what was

going on and had met me only a few hours ago. I couldnt think

straight so I said please forgive me im a little rattled right

now and could we please have an early break.

I then went into the office to call my boss to let her know I

was leaving and headed to Tacoma to be with cyn.

She informed me that she had to be at the skill center and

this wasnt a good time for me to tske off, I simply said im

sorry bout that but im outa here and I wont be back tell this

has been resolved.I then hung up and called my husband who

proceeded to tell his boss.

I called cyn back and said we will be up there tonight.

When My husband and I got there

Cyn ws some what better she was very relieved to see us. We

hugged both her and and told thme how sory we were and that

we were there for both of them. Not just Cyn.

Cyndies husband is a real jerk never there for her. We were

praying that this time he would be. Nope he syarted that monday

eve. Cyn realized that with all that was going on she had

forgotton to pay her electric bill. very understandable with all

thats been going on. She took the bill and check book to

to have it do it by phone. Cyn cant cause he still hasnt put

her on the bank acount. (avery sore subject since hes going to

be deployed)

He refused to do it. Period nope she could just go pay it at a

pay station. He signed the check and Cyn and I went to the all

night pay station. I refrained from voicing my oppinion of .

cause it would have just caused cyn more pain. Cyn however

proceded to call him names as we drove. I just let her vent.

Tues day morning we went to breakfast then headed to the hospital.

Cyn her dad and I took one car. took his why I dont

know.

We arived at the hospital at 8:30 finel arived there at 10

thirty am. Stayed for about 45 min and left. We didnt see him

agian tell 2 when he came back to get my husband to take him to

his car because needed to come back to Vancouver to work

the next day. He was to also meet his parents who were there by

2.

His parents stsyed untill 7 that nigh. didnt even stay with

cyn nor his folks for those few hours . He left again to go

get a buddy. They were inserting a pill into cyns uterus to try

and get her labor started it wasnt working. They did this every

four hours. came to the hospitlal at midnight and slept

untill 7am when cyn woke him to tell him the labor had started.

was oblivious to the fact that cyn almost died during the

night. She was vomiting profusely and her fever was 105.5. Which

meant there was an infection. They tried ice packs, but they wernt

working. I was strokeing her forehed with a cold compress. They

through her in a coll shower which brought the fever down to

105. Apros 45 min she was given another cold shower. She wanted

me to do this, not a nurse so I washed her hair bathed her and

towel dried her. This second shower brought the fever to 103 were

it stsyed tell the delivery.

S she slept restlesly. I spent the night strokeing her hand her head.

Crying silently and shakeing like a leaf. I was so scare i was

going to loose them both.

Around 5 or 6 in the am the docs came and said because of the

infection they needed to speed things up alot. They put something

in the iv and inserted another pill intoi the uterus. They said if

this didnt do the trick they were going to have to try to

stretch the uterus to try and get started opening up. Around 7:30

cyns water broke and she was in labor. I said a quick prayer that

God allow her to have a speedy delivery. He answered that

prayer with a yes. Cyn woke up to inform him she ws in

labor and that it was hapening. His responce was I gota go get

johm a friedn and split. Donna Rose was delivered at 907 am weighing

2 lbs and thirteen inches long. It was so fast. Cyn went from 0

to 7 fast. She said I gota push the nurse looked saw a little

head. One of the other nurses went to get the doc, but the baby

hust shot like a flying object and the nurse caught her in a

bedpan like a basket ball. It was so quick it cought us all off

guard. The baby was a dark purple I was taken back by its

apearance. Id never seen a dead baby before. I could she all the

swelling, but she was a perfectly formed baby had all her

fingers toes legs hands etc.

I was so proud of my baby she did so great through all this.

She just did what ever was needed to help thme be able to test

Donna to try and find out why this all happened.

arived back at the hospital friend in tow arount 9:45

He was then mad he had missed the birth and went on a poor me

thing. We tried to tell him he wouldnt have been able to tolerate

it anyway since he couldnt stand to see some one throuw up.

Cyn had been doing that all day tues as well as through the

night. either left and didnt come back or he put his sweat

shirt over his head.

They took the baby to clean her up. They encourage the mother and

father to hold the baby for closure and Cyn wanted to do thissss

She wanted shawn and I to also do this. refused.

After seeing the baby deliverd I wasnt so sure I could hold it

either but then I said ok I can do this Id walk through fire

if it would help Cyn get through all this.

But as it turned out the way they bring the in is done so

tastefully. Donna Rose was laying in a basket in a tiny little

blanket and hat. She was smileing.

She looked as though her face had been made from a jellow mold

cause of all the swelling. She looked like a cute little cartoon

character.

Cyn want me to take pictures of her and the baby so i did. ( one

of my co-workers said she might want this, so I brought it just

in case)

I gota tell you when cyn looked at her precious daughter I could

see a calm come over her face and she smiled. She did find some

comfort and closure in holding her. I saw shawn look at the baby

and just a fast glance. I know this is really hard on him to.

I hugged them both and left the room so they could have some

time to there selves with Donna Rose.

Cyndie named the baby Donna because this ws also the month her

Godmother died in and Rose was her maiden name and she felt the

bby ws in donna's arms now. The name gave her comfort.

I went back into the room and tols cyn to let me know when they

wanted the nurses to take the baby.

split and we didnt see him again tell 5 pm.

They came and got the baby and cyn and I talked. I asked her

if she touched the baby and she said no That Donna looked happy

and so fragile she was afraid she would break her. I told cyn

see she was smileing cause she new you loved her very much and

Cyn she loved you very much thats why she died smileing to give

you some comfort and to let you know she loved you as much as

you loved her. I said cyn no matter that Donna is in heaven now

you are her mom and always will be. and march 12 will always be a

day I will remember our loving grandaughter donna rose. She said

dosnt want to acknoledge this day ever. I said give him

time and even if he dosnt you still can. I said bye yourself

flowers or give money to charity. Make this a special day, cause

Donna Rose was a very special child of God.

Cyn said mom has been a butt head through out all this and

thank you for being here for me cause If you hadnt I would have

been all alone . My answere to her was i wouldnt have been any

were else. I kissed her told her How much I loved her. The

nurses told her while I was standing ther that she had a great

mom and that I had been very suportive as well as helpfull to

them as well as cyn. That made me feel good cause I was trying

to be helpful yet not be pushy or in the way.

I gota say the army was so there. They had the chaplan come in

2 of them. s tow big bosses capt came to offer ther e support

.. greave counslers came so many people. The hard part about them

comeing was explaining s absence. I mean the look on his

superiors face when cyn sid he was at the apartment was like what

the heck. I mean he had er leave to be ther for cyn and he

wasntAfter the delivery cyns fevcer started coming down and blood

tests showed it wasnt in the blood stream, They put her on strong

iv antibiotics through out the day. They wanted to keep her over

night to be sure she was inded ok. I felt at this point it was

time for me to step out of the picture and make shawn be there so

they could spend time just the two of them. Idemaned a promise from

that wold be staying the night with her cause she didnt want

to be alone at the hospital. He said hed stay the night. Her dad and I

left and to go home. I was exhausted a little nervous about leaving her

but felt it was the right thign to do. I called her this

mornign and did stay the night, He was gone then but she

was talking to a grevienc counslor at the time. They are keeping

her another night. They want to make sure she dosnt have a fever

for 24 hrs before sending her home. They are doing the autopsy on

the baby today or early next week. The baby will be buried here

in vancouver and the army is takeing care of this expense. I wa s

so impressed with the hospital and the army all the doctors and

nurses. They really did all they could to ease there suffering

and to give this mother and her child the dignity and comfort

they so deserved. I will always be gratefull to them for all they

have done for my greaving daughter.

Im sorry this was so long.

And Thank you so much for listening Love Debby R (wa)

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March 13, 2003